Veruca Salt Was Onto Something….

I have found that there are certain things that annoy or amuse me, sometimes I laugh and other times I wonder how long I’d last in prison…….

In any case I’m still trying to sort through my co-worker road trip blog posts, because right now it’s one giant post and I need to edit a bit more to make it at least four.  But I had started this post on the trip there.

I had intended to post it on the Tuesday after we arrived in Lubbock but to no avail.  The training and work was busy, and I was getting sick as y’all know.  So I will post this first until I can get my notes organized and well planned to let you guys know how my trip went.

Below are a few things that have either annoyed me or made me laugh or both.

horoscope-youre-alive-right-now-me-5332773
Stating the obvious….Astrology

I don’t like getting Astrology crap in my email inbox, because even though I don’t believe in astrology or anything of the sort, I still get these daily readings.  I mean what is Mercury retrograde mean anyway? To me it just means Mercury is moving in the wrong direction!  Anyway I read them just for fun, and everything they’ve said thus far about my “astrological life” has been WRONG!  Totally, so I hate getting these things in my inbox, I don’t know what stupid link or website I inadvertently clicked on that now I have Adrian from Astrology Answers telling me what my life is going to be if I only “allow it to happen” and pay him $10 a pop for my free astrological reading.  So I’ve unsubscribed to a subscription I didn’t subscribe to in the first place.  Done, and thanks for nothing Adrian, nothing you’ve told me about my life has been true!

Astrology BS meme
Yeah, exactly how I feel

I hate “traffic-assholes” and assholes using the passing lane to drive the speed limit, it’s annoying.  I’m like do you all NOT know that it’s called the “passing lane” for a reason?  Huh? Yeah I’m talking to you in your fucking 2014 red Toyota Corolla Sport driving 55 in the passing lane thinking you’re going below the speed limit and holding up all kinds of traffic behind you, you smug bitch.  Step on it and move over why don’t you?!?

Kermit bad driver face

Oh or people who drive sports cars and are stuck on the passing lane going below the speed limit.  If you’ve got a goddamned Camaro, Mustang or BMW, put the pedal to the metal and pass then move over assholes! Don’t hold up traffic because you think the motorcycle cop stopped and pointing his radar gun on the overpass of McRae and I-10 is going to stop you for going faster in the PASSING LANE!  It’s the PASSING LANE so pass and move over.  You have a fucking sports car, use it for something other than over compensating for whatever you’re lacking and move it the fuck over so the rest of us can get to work on time!

Picard passing lane meme
You tell them Jean Luc, tell them!

Oversized trucks, most of them are funny and sometimes they’re annoying because they make annoying noises.  Yep I said it even though I live in Texas and it’s a common sight.  I’m pretty sure that all the guys (because it’s mostly men, no I’m not man bashing here) that drive these trucks that are lifted, 4×4’d, chromed out, two gas tank hauling, noisy tire making, overhead night light carrying, mega-sized trailer hitch, truck bed covering, front winch displaying pricks are over compensating for “something.”

4x4 meme

Because if you have to put chrome letters that spell out “Size Matters” on the tailgate of your truck, then I feel so bad for your wife or girlfriend.   Reminds me of my ex-hubs…..yeah I said it.

Stupid 4X4 Truck Pic
I took this picture myself, at the drive thru of a Whataburger near my house.  Apparently size matters, that explains his truck…..

I also don’t take too kindly of people with said “Truckzillas” that they think just because they have a huge truck *cough*overcompensating*cough* thinking they are entitled to many things.  Such as parking spots…….take a look at this super asshole below……

Truckzilla Asshole
Truckzilla in the parking lot of where I work

Now this prick works where I do, and every morning that asshole thinks he’s parking in one parking space but he’s actually taking up two, one for his truck and almost half of the other for the goddamned hitch on the bumper of his stupid truck!  As you can see if he’d move forward a tad, he’d leave the parking space behind him with enough room for another car.  But nooooo he has to park Truckzilla this way to prove a point! The point being that he has to own a truck like this because looks alone won’t do it.  Okay I said I try not to judge and for the most part I don’t, but when your inconsiderate AND an asshole, my judgement wrath will not be quenched!  This truck belongs to a faculty member here and he’s an older tall, lanky, awkward nerdy guy with no manners or social skills who has to drive around an expensive truck to find a mate.  I say mate because the dude looks like Beaker from the Muppet’s

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That was his reaction when “someone” left a post-it-note on the door of Truckzilla telling him to park his truck correctly…….I’m not saying who it was.  But he was not happy…..I watched from the 3rd floor stairwell, it was hilarious.

Another thing that annoys me are people who STOP on freeway on ramps, I mean really what the literal fuck are you doing stopping on a freeway on ramp!?!?!  You look to see if there is oncoming traffic and either slowly creep onto the freeway (which will annoy me too) or speed up and smoothly make your way onto the freeway with all the other traffic.  But for Christ’s sake and all that is good and holy DO NOT STOP ON THE GODDAMNED ON RAMP waiting for traffic to pass you by and holding up all the traffic behind you!! That’s a surefire way of getting rear-ended and not in a good way! If you stop on the on ramp your driver’s license should be taken away.  But I will add that here in El Paso, fuckers will see you driving onto the freeway from the on-ramp and they WILL SPEED UP to keep you from getting in front of them.  So I speed up too, I’ve exchanged the middle finger with several other motorist who do this……

Onramp Stopping Assholes meme

Something else that’s more comedic than anything (this time it’s women) is wearing boots in the middle of summer.  What is wrong with you?  No it’s not a fashion statement if you go home and take of your boots off to stank up your entire house with the odor of sweaty feet thats fine.  But your not impressing anyone wearing any type or style of boots in the middle of an 103 El Paso summer.  Especially Ugs or cowboy boots with cutoff jean shorts.   I don’t care if your only 19 and think you can pull it off, you can’t.  The only one that could possibly pull it off is Daisy Duke, Catherine Bach not Jessica Simpson, just thought I’d clear that up.  But if your NOT 19 you have no business wearing cowboy boots with shorts or a dress in the middle of summer….

People of Walmart El Paso Edition
I took this picture too when I went to Walmart to pick up my Rx last week.  By the way it was 101 that day in El Paso

I kept trying to take a picture but she kept turning around and looking at me and the entire line waiting behind her.  I think she sensed she might be getting mocked….she was right.  The lady behind me was trying to laugh quietly but to no avail.

So I think maybe Veruca Salt was onto something being so bitchy.  Maybe her dad had a huge oversized truck, or she got tired of people driving in the passing lane at the speed limit or people stopping on the onramp to get onto the freeway!

Or watching people wear winter clothes in the middle of a hot, unbearable summer, it’s uncomfortable just to see them dressed that way.  But who am I to judge? I binge watched Billions (my new favorite series) this weekend and now I have the Wendy Rhodes attitude towards life which is “Get your head on straight, get your shit together and don’t piss me off.”

So I wonder what Vecuca Salt was thinking trying to get Willy Wonka to give her that Everlasting Gobstopper……I wish I had an Everlasting Gobstopper……for Truckzilla.

I’d Stop his Gob from parking the way he does that’s for damned sure.

Until next time remember, chin up, solider on and watch your back!

The Huntress 915

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Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

33 thoughts on “Veruca Salt Was Onto Something….

  1. 😂🤣😁😆 I’m dying ! In a good way . But I call BS on renaming the fast lane , the “passing” lane. No! It’ll always be the fast lane to me . This is Texas, after all. We know how to drive fast. Love that west Texas Autobahn!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! A lot to unpack after reading this.

    First, on guys with gigantic trucks compensating. Probably some of them. But, I put them mostly in the all hat, no cowboy category – trying to look like they are something they are not. Then there are the Ram truck guys and I think many of them just enjoy being jerks. I drive what I would consider to be a mommy car, so make what you will out of that.

    Every day on my commute in and out I find it remarkable how many stupid people are between my house and work. Nothing I can do but to try to avoid getting killed by one of them. I could write a nice long rant about this, I suppose.

    Not sure what to make out of this sentence: “That’s a surefire way of getting rear-ended and not in a good way! ” LOL

    As for as an astrologer telling you about yourself, probable better than what an astronomer would say. An astronomer would let you know how incredibly tiny and insignificant you are in space and time. And that it is mostly pointless to even wonder if we are all alone because the universe is so vast that we probably couldn’t find anyone else even if they exist. Oh, and there are all kinds of cosmic events that can occur that would destroy all life on earth and we are completely powerless to do anything but watch our demise.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Jason for that very insightful and yet kinda dark observation, lmao. I love that “That’s a surefire way of getting rear-ended and not in a good way” line, I heard that just this weekend from my cousin, she’s a hoot. I do agree with you on the truck category thing, there are Ram guys, Chevy guys, GMC guys, Toyota/Nissan guys (haha) and of course my favorite Ford guys, unless they are douche bags like those above. I’m sorry I can’t take guys who drive Toyota or Nissan trucks seriously, that’s a personal opinion. NO BODY GET BENT ALL OUT OF SHAPE HERE!

      And of course your right about all the astronomical events we know nothing about that could kill us at any minute (thanks Donnie Darko, lol). But I’d like not to know what my future holds especially if it’s WRONG!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmmmm…. I used to have a Ford F150.

        As to the future, insert meme with Doc Brown from Back to the Future:
        “Your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one.”

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s the worst when a truck, car….whatever it is, takes up more than one space in a parking lot; especially when the parking lot is full! Kind of makes me want to scream. Love that you got a picture of the truck that says “size matters.” Funny, while size definitely has its perks, I’ve always believed that it’s how one uses what one’s got that really matters. Mona

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Mona, well this prick has been parking like this since he got this truck. He use to have (get this) a Toyota Prius, lol. So it makes me wonder why he choose such a vehicle? That “Size Matters” caught me by surprise while I was waiting for my food, it just seems so stupid for anyone to advertise that, ugh.

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      1. Well because it’s true…I’d go back to driving my “regular” looking Ford F150 if I could afford the gas on it, lol. So I’ve settled for a Ford Fusion which is much better on gas.

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    1. Oh we have the boots here too and they don’t really use them unless you have like $100K in parking or speeding tickets (I’m exaggerating of course). Thank you for thinking I have a sense of humor, lol.

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  4. Now that I am officially a geezer, I drive 15 mph below the speedlimit, and keep my left blinker flashing so they are afraid to pass me … then refuse to look in the mirror to see if anyone is following me …

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I never really thought about it much before but Veruca Salt’s dad was in the nut business. He was into nuts. Now I’m thinking of those truck nutz I see and how those look even more ridiculous and stupid than wearing boots in the middle of summer.
    Okay, just an aside: wearing boots in the middle of summer makes sense if you’re going hiking in rattlesnake country, but that woman looked like the only hiking she might be doing would be hiking up her skirt in the ladies’ room.
    Anyway guys who put fake testicles on their trucks are not only compensating, they’re advertising that they’re compensating.
    And if I want to know if Mercury is in retrograde I’ll ask an astronomer, but I’m not sure I want to know. A day on Mercury lasts almost as long as a year on Mercury, although a year there is less than three months here, and that’s gotta make your horoscope weird.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I forgot about Veruca’s dad being in the “Nut” business, that makes sense, lol. Or are you saying I’m nuts? I’ll take that as a compliment Christopher, and thank you. Those stupid chrome fake balls that guys hang off their trucks in even “stupider” than the truck itself. I think if a guy has to advertise that his truck has big balls it’s more he’s advertising he has them when he really doesn’t. One things for sure, the person that invented those sure made a lot of money selling them in Texas, lol.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Working at Walma…er, Mecca as long as I have, I’ve seen all kinds of really shitty parking jobs. The best of the worst is the “four corners” job, where the car is literally parked over the spot where the boundaries of four parking spaces meet. Since our lot has slanted spaces, I see it a lot since most of these lousy park jobs are done by idiots who are driving the wrong way through the parking lot lanes, so their car ends up in some cockeyed direction as they try to squeeze into a space from the wrong direction that they just cut someone else off from. And the parking situation is made even worse because the lot is landmined with all the shopping carts that get left in parking spots by lazy ass customers who can’t be bothered to hail them a few feet to the damned corral.

    Your truck rant reminds me of my neighbor with the big, honking, jacked up pickup truck that has $1,000 wheels and dual American flags flying from the tailgate (Which, I believe, is so ironically considered flag desecration!). He looks like a real needledick too!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear ya Evil, I have a neighbor who now has five, yes FIVE Jeeps he keeps in his front yard….in his FRONT YARD!! Who needs that many crappy Jeeps?!? Ugh AND to top it all off he works on other peoples crappy Jeeps on the weekends in his garage and front yard….I’m pretty sure if there was such thing as a Hispanic/Mexican Redneck he’d be it.

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  7. I adore you and I freaking loved this post! ❤

    The giant truck thing always confounds me. I mean, aside from the headaches they cause me by parking in half of my parking space, don't THEY get tired of trying to find places to park those huge things???

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s metaphorical, they are 1) overcompensating with those big trucks and 2) they are trying to get something big into a small space….get it? Huh? huh? It’s in their mind, big truck small space as opposed to small (insert your opinion here) into a big space.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. LOL…Why the Toyota Corolla gotta be red though?! 😂😂😂

    Not too many oversized trucks here in NYC, thankfully!

    Personally, I have never understood boots in the middle of Summer either because boots (apart from being fashionable, keeps my feet super warm so I would never opt to wear them in the Summer). Aww well, to each his own.

    I have heard such great things about BILLIONS. Perhaps I need to start watching…Do you watch BALLERS? I have heard great things about that one too.

    Stay good, Huntress..Don’t let them piss you off too much but I’m one to talk I go from zero to 500 in mere minutes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Rakkelle, it’s because that’s the color of the damned Toyota Corolla that’s in my way every every morning I’m on my way to work! That lady is just too slow for the fast lane, ugh. lol
      Missed you too hon, it’s good to have you back! 😉

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  9. I think someone should tie a bunch of tin cans onto that trailer hitch. I hear what you’re saying about traffic–I feel the same way about all the other idiot drivers who make our lives miserable by going too slow in the wrong lane, but I’ve never seen anyone stop on a ramp–I’d be honking and screaming at them–it’s so dangerous!

    Liked by 1 person

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