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Un-Worldly Traveler….And Then Some

As much as I travelled with Lestat, I’ve never really traveled for actual work.  So, coming up at the end of February I will be on the very first of many trips for work.  I’ll be in Washington DC to visit NASA headquarters and to attend a conference for the Space Grants.  Which means all fifty state space grants will descend on DC in late February and early March.  Okay now that I’ve got that over with here’s the part I don’t like, I’ve never been outside the state of Texas for travel (not including driving into New Mexico for work) and as stupid as this sounds, I’m fucking terrified.  Not of the flight or travel itself but of being at a conference and mingling with people who have been doing this way longer than I have and know this shit by heart.  I know the finance part, the handling grant funds part that’s no problem, but I’m wondering if I’ll be able to fit in with these space grant people.  I’ll be there for a total of four days and my boss is going with me and I’ve already threatened him to not leave me on my own at any cost.  Yes, that sounds just a bit dramatic but, what can I say?  This is my first time traveling and I should be excited and happy, but I’m really not. 

Something Respectfully Curious

As most of you already know, I travel into New Mexico from Texas to work at a university in NM.  To which on my commute each day I have to travel a mountain pass to get to work.  It’s not a treacherous mountain pass but it’s a daily commute I enjoy because it’s a chance to prep for work or unwind afterwards.  Before the Christmas break there were notices on both sides of the Anthony Gap (the mountain pass I take every day) notifying drivers that they were going to start the road widening project on January to make that part of the highway a four-lane road.  Currently it’s just a two-lane road which makes it a bitch when you’re behind construction truck going 15 miles an hour and holding up the rest of traffic.  When I began my new job, on the first two weeks I noticed that along the roadsides there were about 16 or so crosses.   These crosses or memorials were probably put there for loved ones who lost their lives along this stretch of road.  Some of them were just plain wooden crosses, others were more intricate, one of them is a wrought iron sculpture of a cowboy on one knee with his head bowed in prayer and on the bottom, one work, Mark.  I almost cried when I noticed this because I don’t now who Mark was but he lost his life along this road and his family took great pains to place this memorial with such love. 

So now that NMDOT is working on this road, they began to widen the sides with heavy machinery, bulldozing about a ten-foot-wide patch on both sides.  This morning as I passed I saw that they had started moving dirt, vegetation and rocks from the sides of the roads and saw that most, if not all the memorials were gone.  I was flabbergasted because even though I don’t believe in marking the place where a loved one died, I respect those families that have gone through that tragedy and using markers to as a cathartic way of coping.  I couldn’t believe this and all day long I was wondering, who could I call to ask about this.  Yes, I did put that much thought into something most people don’t even think about.  But then on my drive home, I saw some of the construction workers moving the “Mark” memorial back behind where the road will eventually be.  I was relieved, and my faith in humanity was restored once again.  That is until of course, someone does or says something stupid to make me lose faith in all for the four-thousandth time yet again. 

Vintage Jewelry Collector

Because of the fact that I’ve had no energy to actually do what I use to love doing, run and swim, I’ve found myself watching YouTube videos on vintage jewelry.  I began watching then as I delved further into this manic and expensive hobby (I don’t have the funds to even try to get to the level of some of these collectors) I realized, what a fucking minute!!  I already have a lot of the jewelry these YouTubers are touting as vintage and worth a lot of money.  The first is true but the second it depends on the condition of the item and if you can find a market or person who’d buy this vintage jewelry from you.  Most of it came from my mom and at the time I just left it in the boxes she gave them to me in and were in a huge box in one of my many closets.  A few weeks ago, over the Christmas break I saw a couple of more of the videos and realize my mom had bought some of this stuff when it first came out.  Names like Coro, Trifari, Haskell, Schiaperelli and the such would come up over and over.  I was curious and I went on the hunt for that huge box of my moms old jewelry. 

A Coro Pegasus heart bracelet my mom gave me. She bought it when she was 18 years old, so that would make this circa 1961

After I did I found that she not only collected Avon jewelry, she occasionally bought Coro and Trifari.  I was delighted and yet perplexed at why I never actually saw her wear any of the high-end costume jewelry?  Because I don’t remember seeing her get dressed up for work, I mean not like I do.  But then again, she was a warehouse manager for the local school district so that may have had something to do with it.  But I was surprised that she gave me a lot (I do mean a lot of costume jewelry) that is actually worth something.  But I’m conflicted as to what to do with it because they belonged to my mom.  I’ve selected a few great pieces and will keep those for myself.  But I have tons of her costume jewelry and I wonder if I should just sell most of it. 

A Coro parure my mom bought around 1965. It looks gold but it’s not, it’s a silver color.
An Avon brooch and earrings designed by Nina Ricci.

This set I bought myself but I’ve only worn it once. It’s also by Nina Ricci for Avon. I have no idea why Avon jewelry gets such a bad rap. Its jewelry line is magnificent.

One Thing I Can’t Live Without

A small insight into my ever so complicated and weird life, one thing I can’t live without is………Spearmint Chapstick.  This is the only Chapstick I will ever use, or the only lip balm I’ll ever use.  I’ve tried so many others but there’s nothing like my favorite.  Why Spearmint Chapstick you ask?  I can’t really say, all I know is that I use Chapstick a lot, like all the time.  When I’m not wearing lipstick that is, but it’s always within reach for me.  I use it all through the day, and right before I go to bed at night and after I have lunch I don’t reapply my lipstick, I use Spearmint Chapstick.  The thing is, it’s getting harder and harder to find.  The last batch (yes I buy it in batches) I got from Amazon, which was a box of 24 and that was when I bought my house.  I’ve got a couple left but they are getting more expensive and harder to find because I’m thinking I’m the only one that uses Spearmint Chapstick.  So there’s a weird tid-bit about me you might have not known, or cared to know.  Hey it’s my blog so……yeah.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A New Year Begins…….Again

It’s only one week into the new year and thus far it feels like it’s still 2022.  Okay maybe not for everyone but for me, it sure as hell does.  I got sick over the Christmas holiday, I got one bad motherfucker of a cold.  I went to the Urgent Care near my house and they did a rapid COVID test and when that came back negative they did a Flu swab and that came back negative as well.  I mean it might as well have been the flu the way I felt.  So, needless to say I skipped Christmas with my boys, mom and brother to spare them getting whatever bug I had.  They spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day at my son’s house, while I slept most of the day at mine.  I had begun to prep all the food I was going to cook for Christmas lunch but had to send that ahead with my son who lives with me so he and my oldest could finalize the cooking.  I was miserable for a week having this cold, which oddly enough included fever and going in and out of consciousness.  Oh well, what can I say?  At least I’m alive in 2023, for how long? I couldn’t say but at least I’m here now. 

Christmas Gifts That Keep On Giving

Even though I wasn’t able to spend the day with my family, my boys are kind and good souls that I love dearly. This year I didn’t get gifts that were things I wanted, they were things I needed. My blender of 17 years gave out on me during the summer. I tell you things don’t last like they use to (yes, I’m being sarcastic.) My mom and my son got me some heavy-duty blenders, so now I have two of them in case one breaks down. I used one of my two new blenders to make a delicious holiday margarita, I got this from my dear friend River’s blog, but now I can’t find the post so, take my word for it they were delicious.

The week before Christmas I and my boys went down to my mom’s house to try and make a couple of dozen tamales.  I said try because I hadn’t made tamales in more than two decades but I’m amazed at the things one remembers.  My mom directed our efforts while I prepped and showed my boys how to make them.  It took us about 6 hours but we made 6 dozen tamales and they came out delicious and wonderfully nostalgic.  I’m proud of myself and my boys because we all decided to undertake this task as well as to sit there with my mother as she gave me her recipe for the tamale filing and how to make sure the dough comes out right.  I’ve been writing down a lot of her recipes because I’m very aware that I have a few precious years left with her and this is something I want to pass onto my boys.  She is/was a terrific cook and I’m so glad I got to learn from her.

Anyway, back to my Christmas gifts, my youngest gave me a dash-cam for my car.  I think somewhere, sometime last year I had mentioned I wanted one since I drive though a mountain pass into another state for work now.  I just thought this would help in case I ever found myself in a situation that needed an insurance claim or whatnot.  My middle son, the one that lives with me gifted me a Keurig coffee machine and an autographed copy of Broken, from one of my favorite authors, Jenny Lawson. 

Hmmm….I wonder if she’s talked to my friend Suzanne about me???

On Wednesday after the weekend of Christmas, my soon took me to Walmart to go buy some K-Cups (still sick but wearing a mask) for my brand spanking new machine.  But now I realize he might have had ulterior motives for buying the Keurig machine.  And that’s for him to be able to make himself coffee every morning without making an entire pot.  He bought me my Espresso cups and a toasted coconut coffee I’d been wanting to taste for a while now.  But he also bought himself about four boxes of K-Cups of his own liking.  Well played son, well played.

The Grinch Who Stole My Life

I blame my doctor, if she hadn’t pointed out that all of my bloodwork indicated I had hit menopause I don’t think my frame of mind would be where it’s at.  I’m tired all the time, I’ve got a significantly shorter fuse (than I already had so what does that say?) and I lack motivation to do what I so enjoyed before I found out I had this Grinchy, Bitchiness called menopause.  I use to like to swim, run and do stuff around my semi-new house.  Now, I can barely find the energy to get out of bed and come to work.  I use to enjoy working outside my house to try and get a beautiful yard with flowers and stuff.  And now I grunt every time I drive into my driveway as I stare at my garage door where my car should be.  Instead my garage is now full of my son’s crap stuff where my car should be parked every night. 

This is unfair that I should feel burnout from this “thing” that women have to suffer through, in addition to the pain of childbirth, rearing, marriage, divorce and all the other bullshit that Mother Nature has decided we should shoulder the…..okay I’m getting off course.  Anyway, I’m trying very hard to find motivation to return to my normal routine of running and swimming.  This isn’t a new year type of resolution, this is a trying to get my life back determination in spite of how I feel physically and mentally.  I never in my life thought that I’d feel this way, even when I knew menopause was eminent in my youth.  I watched my mother go through the most horrible menopause ever, she was mean, sadistic, angry at her children, her husband then, she’d cry like all the time.  And we didn’t know what was going on, so now I find myself here in this state and although the only major setbacks are fatigue and anger I still feel like I shouldn’t have to go through this bullshit.

Life Insurance Bastards

Everywhere I’ve worked I’ve always made sure and taken advantage of the life insurance my employment offers.  It’s for my kids, to make sure that if anything happens to me they don’t have to worry about paying what’s left of my expenses.  As well as leaving them something to help them financially.  When I got hired I opted for the supplemental life insurance and was okay with flipping for the extra $38 dollars every pay check to make sure that I had enough to cover my final expenses and to pay off my house if I kicked the bucket in the near future.  Well because they ask for a list of medications on the initial application form, that was enough for the stupid life insurance company to question me for three months over my supposed diabetes.  Just to be clear, I DON’T HAVE DIABETES YOU INSURANCE ASSHOLES!!  I’ve gone around and around with the insurance company over this, after I’d answer their supplemental questionnaire, they’d send me more forms to fill out. 

Insurance Company: So, since you take metformin, how long have you had diabetes?

Me: I don’t have diabetes, I take if for insulin resistance

Insurance Company:  Since you have insulin resistance, how long have you been diabetic?

Me: I’m not diabetic, I’m insulin resistant.

Insurance Company: Isn’t it the same thing?

Me: Uh, no my A1C’s are normal

Insurance Company: How long have they been normal?

Me: All my FUCKING LIFE!

Insurance Company: You need to fill out additional forms

After three entire months of this shit I finally got the notification from the stupid life insurance company that I was approved for my life insurance.  Along with a letter apologizing for taking so long because of the fact that since I take diabetic medications they had to “investigate further” to make sure I wasn’t high risk.  This only happened after I had to have my PCP send me the latest lab results that included my normal A1C count and showing that I was taking metformin for insulin resistance.  To which I asked my doctor if he could please explain the difference between insulin resistance and diabetes.   You know, for clarification since apparently no one at the damned life insurance company knows the difference.

So, after I submitted my lab results I was approved for life insurance, and it only took three and a half months. It occurred to me that these stupid people at the life insurance company should have been asking different questions, like if I have anger management issues. This way they could maybe shorten their annoying process of asking so MANY GODDAMNED QUESTIONS!!!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays….Which Ever You Prefer

Taking this time to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.  It’s occurred to me that to be politically correct you have to be all inclusive.  But then I realized that, it’s my blog and I can say what I want, like Elon Musk is a complete and utter douchcanoe!!  Or that the migrant crisis isn’t a crisis of migrants but a human crisis that needs to be addressed.  You know, stuff like that, because as my blog says’….It’s My Blog And I Can Cry (Or Shout) If I Want To.   Anyway, this weeks blog is short and sweet, only to say Merry Christmas and A Happy and Healthy New Year!!!!!!!

I’ll continue my rants and raves in the new year, for now this is my blog Christmas Card.  See you in the New Year everyone!!  

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Thing You Should Try (Pun Intended) And Other Stuff

I spent the Thanksgiving break cooking for Thanksgiving Day, baking and making all the side dishes to my mom’s surprisingly juicy and tasty turkey this year.  My mom has the tendency to overcook the turkey making it dry and bland.  I’m actually surprised since she’s really a great cook but her cooking has gone a bit downhill since she’s gotten older.  Anyway, I had to haul said side dishes to my mom’s house 37 miles away making sure nothing was spilled, dropped or wound up lopsided into the truck of my car.  The day was refreshingly free of drama.  That is until my stupid brother decided to leave to go and spend the day with his even dumber kids and not-yet-ex-wife.  Did I mention my idiot brother shaved off one of his eye brows that morning?  I’ll spare you the details only to say it was an “accident.”  This is what he told me and I responded in the monotone Wednesday Addams voice “Of course it was an accident, what moron would shave off their own eyebrow on purpose, right?”  He just looked at me and asked if I was making fun of him then rolled my eyes and muttered as I walked away “of course not.”  Which left him with more questions than answers. 

Speaking of Wednesday Addams, I’m strongly recommending the new series on Netflix, Wednesday.  It’s not a remake or reboot of the 1990’s films staring Raul Julia or even an attempt to recapture the kookiness of the 1960’s series.  No, this is a much darker and sarcastic series mainly focusing on their teenaged, homicidal minded daughter Wednesday.  She’s absolutely fucking brilliant and I love the way this show has captured her personality.  She’s dark and brooding, she’s experienced and ruthless…..everything I admire about women who are determined to blaze their own path in life.  In the first episode she spoke the very words that define what I think about social media.  I’m not antisocial I just wanted to point that out, but her words about social media are brilliant.

I find social media to be a soul sucking, void of meaningless affirmation” – Wednesday Addams

The only thing I don’t like about this series is the casting of her father, Gomez Addams.  Maybe I’m just a bit bias because Raul Julia did an excellent job of portraying Gomez in the films.  I was never into the 1960’s version of the show it seemed too dumbed down and silly in it’s content (sorry if I’m sounding like Wednesday.)  I didn’t even bother with the animated films that were recently released either, those were just…..no. I like Luis Guzman as an actor but I loath his portrayal of Gomez.  It’s cheesy and sugary sweet but not in a good way and thank goodness he’s not in every episode of the series because that would be really bad.  Thing is a permanent character and helps Wednesday in all of her plotting and scheming and it’s not all bad. He’s a creepy hand with a mind of a cuddly stuffed toy, if a stuffed toy was a dismembered body part that is.

Yes, please we have enough Karsdashian’s in this world already

Catharine Zeta-Jones plays Morticia, she does a better job of portraying Wednesday’s mother but only a bit better than Luis Guzman plays Gomez.  She’s also a bit out of place in this character as well but she’s not as bad as her character’s husband.  I will always think that Angelica Huston was the quintessential Morticia and that no one could do better than her at playing the matriarch of the modern-day Addams Family.  Maybe it’s a lack of chemistry between Gomez and Morticia’s characters, it’s palpable and there in the two actors seem strangers to each other compared to Raul Julia’s and Angelica Huston’s characters. There are Easter eggs and subtle nods to the Addams Family of the past both the series and films.

The rest of the cast of characters is just as vibrant and ruthless as Wednesday Addams herself which makes for a great time watching this show, seriously it’s that awesome.  Christina Ricci makes an appearance as one of the faculty, which is a historical nod to her portrayal of Wednesday in the films. 

Of course, if you were never a fan of the films then I say, GO WATCH THIS SHOW!  Maybe, just maybe you will change your mind.  Here’s a cringeworthy clip of Wednesday Addams dancing in her own unique way. If your wondering about the song, it’s called Goo Goo Muck by the Cramps from 1981. I remember going to a Halloween party in my Freshman year in high school and this song was playing. If you listen to the lyrics its…..to say the least a dirty song.

Things Happening In My Neck Of The Woods

Not that I usually cared about things like this but when I heard on the local news that this idiot district attorney is being investigated for misconduct and that it might affect the trial of the Walmart shooter it really pissed me off.  She’s being investigated because apparently, she and one of her assistant DA’s are accused of tampering and intimidation one of the Walmart victim’s family members.  You can read about that here, as of today she’s decided to resign, thank God!!  Not that its going to change anything, she will still be paid until she is officially recalled in a special election to do so. She also failed to show up to a hearing about the Walmart Shooting and one of the attorney’s representing a couple of the families of the victims called her a coward, and I couldn’t agree more, read more about this fucking coward here.

I don’t get it, it’s bad enough that she looks fake as fuck (just look at her hair in this picture) it looks like plastic.  But she’s just as incompetent as what every news article and news reports state she is.  For the record I didn’t vote for her.

Now the County attorney is filing a motion to remove the El Paso District Attorney from her position and I’m all for it.  She and her office apparently failed to file petitions for over 200 criminal cases and those cases were dropped.  All because the DA didn’t do her fucking job!! 

Go BLUE!!!

This past weekend my college football team (well not MY college football team I mean, who owns a college football team?) won against its nemeses the Blowhio Fuckeyes at Columbus in the Toilet Bowl. I know I sound like a fanatic who thinks that my team is the best, and that we deserve it blah, blah, blah. I’m not clueless about these teams rivalry okay, but since the University of Michigan hadn’t beaten Blowhio at their home turf since 2000 I’m just a little psyched okay, so sue me. Michigan beat Blowhio last year too but this years game was just a bit more serious since it was in Columbus. I’ll be the very first to admit that Michigan has had a lot of issues in their football program the last couple of years. But in Fuckeye fashion, they got beaten twice by Michigan and their memes are going rabid (as rabid as a hairless nut can get, yes they are the only university that has a fucking nut as a mascot) because even though they’ve prospered in the last ten years they can’t see losing to the Wolverines twice in a row. To this I say………………….MICHIGAN LIVES RENT FREE IN ALL THOSE LITTLE MINDS THAT GO TO AND AT TIMES, GRADUATE FROM BLOWHIO STATE. No matter if Michigan wins or loses there’s a permanent occupancy of Wolverines of the miniscule brains of any and all Blowhio State Fuckeyes. GO BLUE!!

Federal Credentials

This meme speaks the truth, oh how I love our government spending…..NOT!

When I got hired my boss told me that I wasn’t an employee of the actual university, that I worked for NASA.  This was reaffirmed when I met with our NASA contact and said that the university is only a location for our office due to its proximity to the Space Port and research in the department of Engineering.  We do have to go through all to the administrative processes at the university because we are technically housed here.  But now that I’ve been verified as an official NASA employee I’m being subjected to the most in-depth background check of my life.  This process takes about two months and although I know nothing negative will come of it.  It’s still scary knowing that the Federal government will be digging into my history as far back as 21 years.  And having to submit my tax information made me a little uneasy but, the fact that I can advance in this job is really a perk I didn’t even knew existed. 

After the background check is complete I will get official NASA credentials as we will traveling around the country in 2023 to visit different space grant offices and four conferences as well.  I will be in Washington DC at the end of March and I’m kind of excited and scared because let’s face it, this Huntress hasn’t been out of the state of Texas or New Mexico unless you count when I was born in California.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Happy Thanksgiving and All That Jazz

You know I was marveling at how seemingly progressive New Mexico is since I started commuting here for work.  At how they are so friendly (mostly) and that they are for the most part here in Las Cruces, not so far to the right politically.  I’m in complete admiration of their state transportation department being so proactive with things like repairing potholes and guard rails and such.  Then there is their roadkill patrol which still amazes the hell out of me.  But I have to ask this one thing if y’all considerer yourselves so environmentally conscience, why or why don’t you have emissions tests for your fucking vehicles!?!?!  You see, after all the state of New Mexico does to be environmentally conscience they overlook the one thing that causes the most pollution, their cars.  I get it, Texas is a bigger state and has more vehicles per capita but at least we can’t renew our vehicle registration without an emissions test!! I mean I guess what do you expect from a state that has a place called Truth or Consequences?

I had always wondered why there were so many cars and trucks in El Paso had New Mexico license plates, hell two of my neighbors have cars with NM license plates and wondered about that.  Now I know why, because they don’t have to pay for yearly vehicle registration in New Mexico.  Oh no, not here in the progressive state of the Land of Entrapment.  No, here they go ahead and waive the yearly vehicle registration and instead impose a state income tax.  So now I have to pay federal and state income tax.  The only consolation is that I know my Texas state registered vehicle isn’t polluting the supposed clean New Mexican air like most vehicles that coal roll you at a stop light while driving to pick up lunch.

Remember this guy? Yeah no emissions sticker….

The Burnout Still Persists

I’ve had this burnout feeling since before my lovely doctor confirmed that I had hit menopause.  I think if she hadn’t said anything I may not be feeling like this.  Yes, call me crazy but remember I worked at a medical school for six years, two of them in the OBGYN department.  I know how those doctors think and they said that a lot of what they tell their patience affect them psychologically.  So, I’m no doctor but I think that if I hadn’t been told I’d hit menopause I wouldn’t feel so fucking tired.  But who knows, I could have just chalked it up to the commute to work.  Anything would be better than……..MENOPAUSE.

My doctor also told me that I needed to keep up with my exercise routine to try and keep the fatigue at bay.  I’m like, sure, sure doc, hold on while I take the shank I keep in my purse out while you calmly tell me this again.  She did say bursts of anger might get worse (shudder) but I say, who’d know this since I’m just the happiest person on earth, right?  Say yes or else….*holds shank up to computer screen*

Thanksgiving

This will be the first Thanksgiving without my dad.  We (my boys and I) are going to try to make the best of it for my mom since I really don’t know how my moms going to react.  She seems to be doing well and making progress, but I’m just waiting for the moment when it will all go south.  But I expect that it’s going to happen since the holiday’s were my dad’s favorite time of year.  Mostly because of the food, he just loved to eat and he liked all of the food my mom made.  I’ve started a recipe book of all my moms’ recipes so that I can pass that on to my boys for when it’s my time to leave this earth.  One of those recipes is for tamales, my mom made the best tamales ever!  So, the week before Christmas we’re going to get together to make a couple of dozen.  It takes a team of people to work the assembly line of tamale making especially if your making more than two dozen.   My mom also makes ham and brisket for Christmas, yes, it’s a lot of food but I have three grown men who can eat their weight in food.   Which if I think about it makes almost 800 pounds of food just for the three of them.   Yeah, that’s pretty scary and makes me wonder how I managed feed them while they were growing up?

Getting My Ph.D……Maybe

My boss and I had a very long conversation the other day about literally everything.  I think he began to feel comfortable around me and started to give me his ideas on how he wanted this department of ours to go.  Especially now since Karen will be moving out of her office for good.  I told him about what Karen had said about pursuing my doctorate and his response was, why not?  I was like, what? He explained that I should consider it since he’s looking to expand our department and will eventually want to hire an associate director (I wondered if he was hinting or something?) and that a Ph.D might come in handy for me later on in my “career.”  He said I should seriously think about it because the university flips the bill for your education if you’re an employee no matter what degree your going after.  Phoebe is going to school to get her masters in Environmental Engineering.  I swear that kid was born in the wrong decade because she’s a hippy at heart wanting to save the entire world.  In any case now I’m contemplating a doctorate degree but only if I find something I’d want a Ph.D in.   

Yeah….I’m not into titles but only for the assholes (the list is long) who thought I couldn’t do it

A small part of me wants to go for it because I know I could and the sound of “Dr. Huntress” has a nice ring to it.  But I wouldn’t make anyone call me Dr, and another part of me wants to do it just for spite, yes, yes let me explain.  When I was divorcing my stupid ex-husband the last words he ever said to me while I was packing up my things to move into my mom’s house was, “you won’t get far without me, you will always need someone to give you everything. No one is going to want a divorced woman with three kids.”  Yes, ladies and gents the stupid, misogynistic asshole actually said that.  But what did I expect when his dumbass mother perpetuated his machismo attitude.  Well of course I proved him wrong not really intending to do that very thing, I bought a house, I have my car that’s paid off, I can support myself AND I don’t need a husband to give me what I can get for myself.  A Ph.D would be the huge cherry on the fuck you sundae of shit he has to eat every time my oldest son goes and visits his dad.  Because apparently the douche canoe always asks about me, and my son doesn’t divulge much but does tell him some of the things I’ve accomplished.  I’m sure him asking about his ex-wife of over 23 years goes over very well with his current wife.  Yes, I’m being sarcastic there because I know she hates it whenever she hears my name.  Do I care?  Oh FUCK NO I DON’T.  So I may just go back to school, who knows because this fatigue I have has me feeling like total crap.  Anyway, I want to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Hilarious Quotes, Jury Duty Debacle, Idiots Everywhere and Other Weird Things

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

I love this series and I’m bummed that the next season will be the last.  I love Midge and all the characters in her world especially Luke Kirby who plays Lenny Bruce.  He does an incredibly magnificent job of portraying the legendary comic.  And it doesn’t hurt that he’s unbelievably handsome too.  But its been a treasure trove of hilarious quotes since I began watching it.

I don’t trust soup, it tells you it’s food but you eat it and never get full” – Joel Maisel

Hi Abe, there’s a guy in the hall way who’s waiting for you.  He said I’m a friend of Abe’s, check that, Abe and I use to be friends.  Because friends don’t stab you in the back with a rusty knife, dipped in arsenic then wraps a guitar wire around your neck to strangle you” – Isobel, Abe Weisman’s secretary.

The matchmaker mob was after me so I ducked into a catholic church.  But I didn’t notice that they were in the middle of mass.  There was a long line of people headed up top the alter so I joined them, then when I got to the front everyone was kneeling so I knelt too.  That’s when I saw him (the priest) and he was holding a silver cup, and in order not to look suspicious……….I took communion.  But I think the priest was suspicious because when he said the body of Christ, I said mazel tov’.  So, there I was with a mouthful of Christ wondering what the hell to do.” – Abe Weisman

Jury Duty and the Incompetence In The City/County Government

I wish I had thought of that…..

I loathe being called to jury duty, not because I have to go but because I never get chosen.  In my lifetime I think I’ve gotten summoned about fifteen times to show up and out of those fifteen, ten have gotten cancelled.  The other five I’ve waited and waited and waited, an entire day at one point.  Only to be told that they didn’t need me or if I got past the first round to get pulled in and questioned, to be let go with a check for a whopping $8 for my troubles.  But on Monday I had to show up, and I kept checking the website to see if it would be cancelled.  No such luck so I had to show up at the county courthouse at 9am.  After about an hour of waiting, walking around and reading my book for entertainment the clerk finally comes out to tell us the trial was cancelled and we could go home. 

He told us to just go by the clerk’s desk at the end of the hall so we could present our paper summons so she could stamp it “dismissed” and validate our parking.  There were about eighteen of us who formed a line at the end of the hall to go past this chubby faced assistant clerk who clearly seemed completely unhappy with her job.  No smile, no hello, no good morning nothing, just silence and the biggest stank face I can recall in recent memory.  I was the fifth person in line and when it was my turn and she took my summons and began her clickity-click on her computer keyboard, she turned to me and said (with gum in her fat mouth and sighing under every word that came out of her mouth) “Uh…. you have a warrant out for no-show on a summons back in May.  You need to go pay that before I can clear you here” and tossed…. SHE FUCKING TOSSED MY SUMMONS BACK AT ME!!!  So ever the consummate lady, I tossed it right back at her and asked her to explain why I have a warrant for a summons I never received. 

Again, she sighed loudly while chewing her chunk of gum saying that I was sent a summons in May and I told her she already said that but since I never got it I asked to what address they sent it?  She sighed again and looked at her computer screen and told me they’d sent it to my old address at the rental house I lived in.  I told her I hadn’t lived there in over a year and a half and she sighed again and said “the county court is going to need proof of this.”  I was fucking livid and then she turned to me and said “I leave for lunch in ten minutes, just letting you know.”  I told her that she needed to process the rest of the people leaving and then she needed to get a supervisor over here and if I wasn’t leaving she wasn’t leaving!  I was so loud that one of the Sheriffs deputies came over and asked if everything was okay.  I told him no, and explained what was going on. 

He, in turn asked Liliana yes I’m using her real name, what are the chances of her actually finding my blog?  And said for her to call the assistant county clerk so that I could talk to someone.  So, to make a long story short I was at the damned county courthouse for over four hours trying to sort this shit out no thanks to fat-ass Liliana the amazing gum chewing, loud sighing moron who clearly hates her job.  After talking to her supervisor’s supervisor, I had to walk over to the county jail to the administrative offices to have the warrant cleared after I called one of my utility companies to have them confirm what date my services had been transferred over to my new residence.  The Sherriff warrant clerk a wonderful lady who not only made me feel better but told me that she was sorry about how I was treated at the county courthouse.  She told me that she had submitted a release of my warrant but it takes up to 48 hours to clear the system.  She printed out the request and told me to keep it with me just in case I get stopped.   Now I hate jury duty even more and hope that I don’t get called back for at least five years because if I do, I’m the one who’s going to be on trial for killing Liliana the bare minimum, fat faced, loud gum chewing, sigh talking court clerk.

Idiots Everywhere

I’ve been at my job for going on three months already and I thought I had left behind the indifferent idiotic people at the university of hell.   But as I’ve started to interact with other departments I’ve found more idiots here.  We deal with the department of engineering a lot because they have several faculty members that are doing research with grant funds we’ve given them.  So naturally I have to communicate with them when I see something wrong with the way they are (or aren’t) spending their grant funds.  It seems that they have the “it’s not our problem it’s yours to fix” attitude and for the most part my boss would just keep the peace and tell poor Phoebe to fix whatever fiscal issue we had.  That is until I started my job and began hold these idiots accountable for their mistakes.  I talked to my boss and told him I had no problem being the bad guy in these situations because we needed to be extra careful since we answer to NASA and the university vice-president for research and not the departments.  Linda (her real name) is one of those people with her emails constantly saying “I’m not sure what your asking for” and “I don’t think what you asking is correct” to which I respond that she needs to read all the attached documents before she responds with emails deflecting blame.  Linda is only one of several idiots I deal with on a daily basis and I will go into specifics about those others later on.  But I’ve become acutely aware that just because I do my job to the best of my ability doesn’t mean that everyone else does.

Student Jerks

This idiot student is a woman, which shames my gender by not knowing how to park her obnoxiously huge truck. And just because she has a rearview camera she thinks parking so close to other cars she’s utilizing every inch of parking space. Well not last week when she parked so close to my car I couldn’t get out of the fucking parking spot. I called campus police who then tracked her down in class and made her come and move her goddamned truck and then gave her a ticket……..your fucking welcome you moron!

Only In El Paso

Yes those are coffins, the question is were they empty?

I took this picture last week while driving near my old neighborhood on the east side, it seems a tad odd don’t you think?

The End of The Rainbow

Random rainbow picture that I took on my way to work last week while it was raining on I-10. It turns out that the end of the rainbow is the off ramp for Mequite New Mexico…..and no pot of gold.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Good Friends, Bonnie Raitt, Contemplating School again and Kids Moving Back Home

I’m learning a lot in my new job because I’ve been thrown into the deep end of the pool and this department is a mess.  The last manager didn’t really bother to track a lot of important things for all the grant funds that we (the department) is responsible for.   Our funding agency NASA is a huge player in funding a lot of programs across the country and we need to stay in their good graces to keep getting funded.  But the last manager wasn’t really too well versed in how to handle grant funds and it shows now since I’ve been looking into files going back a year.  It’s a fucking mess but even more so, Phoebe and I are left to clean up that mess.  But my boss is confident that we can and will straighten everything out.  At least that’s what he told me this morning.

Good Friends and Bonnie Raitt

My good friend bought tickets to see Bonnie Raitt and Marc Cohn (Walking In Memphis) in concert for my birthday, and I was so tired that day I really didn’t feel like going.  And even thought of coming up with an excuse to stay home but boy am I glad I didn’t!  Both opening and headlining act were AWESOME!  She did a cover of the INXS song “Need You Tonight” and she KILLED IT!!!!  She’s 72 years old and can still rock!!!   My friend Virginia had bought the tickets back in May and kept reminding me that we were going out for my birthday. 

I had a blast, well except for the fact that we were seated somewhat by the doors and stupid people kept coming and going including some 30-something chick in a tight black dress with a sequin belt and fringe purse.  She probably thought she looked hot but she looked like an idiot because if your pregnant one should avoid wearing a tight dress like that.  I’m not saying she was pregnant but her gut made her look like she was, not to mention she and her other stupid friend stepped on me, my friend Virginia, the guy next to me who I found out during change of musical sets, was/is a Border Patrol agent and his wife who is a doctor at the University of Hell where I use to work.  I can’t believe that I went out on a weeknight and seeing as it was my birthday the following day, I took the next day off so I didn’t have to wake up at 5am to get ready to go to work.   But when I returned on Friday I found this.

How they found out I LOVE chocolate is a mystery to me

I’m happy and glad I found a good place to work and small enough department where ego doesn’t get in the way and a boss that understands we are human. 

A Ph.D Maybe……….Nah.

I had mentioned in my last post that Karen the former, still coming to work occasionally, no filter director had mentioned that I should think about going back to school to get a Ph.D.  I scoffed at the idea because I’m already paying student loans and didn’t want to go into debt for get a degree I really don’t think I need.  But then on a virtual meeting with one of our support departments one of the girls mentioned that she is going to get her masters degree and that since she’s a university employee and she’s going to school for FREE!!!  I was like that the fuck, tell me more!  She explained that full time employees are eligible to attend the university for up to two classes every semester free of charge.  I thought about it and the idea lingered in the back of my head for like two days.  I could be a Ph.D, a doctor of philosophy in an area I’m passionate about.  Then reality hit, I am not motivated right now, literally I get home and sit on the couch until I move my ass to bed to go to sleep.  I haven’t run or gone swimming in over a month and I just seem to be suffering from burnout.    Getting into the swing of going back to school one) at my age and two) going home late every day and three) I’m just so done with college.  All of this solidified the fact that I don’t need a Ph.D to prove something to myself or to anyone else, not even Karen.  Who by the way said “If you want to move up in higher education you aren’t anything if you don’t have a Ph.D”  To which I replied, well maybe for people who have too much time on their hands maybe, but for others who have a fulfilling life that may not be at the top of their list.  I was being a snarky bitch of course because I don’t have much of a life right now due to my lack of motivation right now but hey, the bitch didn’t need to know that.

My Son, Fire Starting, Apple Flushing, Sarcastic Son

I’m sure by now y’all know I have three boys or should I say three adult children who are in various stages of their lives, college and professional careers.  But my two youngest sons who lived together in a rental home near my oldest son’s neighborhood decided that they needed to make some drastic decisions in order for them to get a bit more financially stable.  Both are needing newer, more efficient vehicles, both need to save for school and both are struggling to make ends meet with the rising prices of literally everything.  We had a family meeting and both are giving up the rental house and my youngest is moving in with his oldest brother and my middle son is moving in with me.  I’m ecstatic……………….NOT.   Look I love my kids and would give my life for them so I know how I sound but I’ve gotten so use to living alone I’m going to find it hard having a roommate now.  But I think this will also play in my favor too because if JMR decides to pay me a visit, my 6’4 320-pound son is there to gently tell him to go to hell.   Now mind you this isn’t the son who wants to put JMR in the hospital, that’s my baby, my 6’2, 227-pound baby who is also a weightlifter/bodybuilder.  

Anyway, I’m more than willing to help him because he does need to save for a new car.  Only now instead of paying $700 for rent, I’m only going to charge him $350.  When I mentioned this to him on Sunday he was caught by surprise, but I told him he wasn’t going to live with me for free, he’s going to pay rent, and one utility bill and chip in half for food.  Because I don’t really spend a lot on groceries because its just me and the cat.   If I want to eat and I’m hungry I’ll make myself something, if I don’t feel like cooking I eat a bowl of cereal, a handful of chips, a protein shake or a candy bar.  Hey I’m a fucking adult and I can eat whatever I want, right?  But now that he’ll be moving in, I have to think about buying groceries to make dinner and so he can take lunch to work.  This way he won’t spend money on takeout.  Well that’s my plan anyway.  I also gave him a time table as to how long he could stay with me, I have him a year and a half to save up for a car and get himself his own place.  I’m not being unreasonable I think, he’s a 33-year-old adult I think I’m being damned generous! Did I mention he has two cats?  My featured image is of Charlie when he found out we were going to have a “roommate.” Lets just say, he’s not pleased.

In celebration of this past birthday, I’m including with this song by Imani Coppola, called Legend of a Cowgirl.  Love this song, there’s a line in the song that says “I’m a woman on fire with a huge desire to be as good as any man.”  And that doesn’t mean the hot flashes that come with the “burnout.” What can I say, it’s true even though I’m suffering from burnout at the moment, which is my way of saying that I’ve fucking hit menopause.  Yep, my doctor indeed confirmed this after what seemed like endless blood tests.  Fuck this shit, burnout will not kill me dammit! But thanks to my great doctor, my hot flashes have gone away with some strategically placed hormones and now, I’m cool….literally!

Although I have felt a surge in sudden bursts of anger at times. But then again I’m not sure if its the “burnout” or just my personality….lmao.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Something Hauntingly Disturbing and Professor Poof

It’s gotten colder the last couple of weeks and I’m not complaining.  I love the cooler Fall weather and always have been partial to Fall and Winter than the hot, sweaty Summer.  As it’s turned colder the time is changing as well, the moon is still out as I start on my commute to work.  Of course, that will change once the stupid time change takes place in November to “fall back” one hour.  Seriously who thought this up?  I mean I know who did and why but we’re in the modern age and farmers/ranchers don’t need the extra day time to work.  Anyway, when I get to the office it’s still dark and cold, and apparently during the winter it’s colder than a witch’s titty inside.  We adjust the thermostats in the office constantly to keep it from getting too cold.  But yesterday myself and Phoebe came in and it was like a meat locker in here.  Then we went to check the thermostats and both of them had been changed to 66 degrees.  It took an entire two hours for this place to warm up.  Thank goodness we have space heaters to use because apparently this place constantly goes through this in the wintertime.  Today, same thing it was freezing in the office when I got here. I mean we waited outside for a bit to warm up in 58-degree weather.  Yes, I’m sure my friends up in Canada and Alaska are laughing at this Texas girl working in New Mexico complain about 58-degree weather.  But I’m not complaining we were warming up in 58-degree weather because the office was so cold.   Anyway, I asked Phoebe if she’d adjusted the thermostats before she left the day before and she said no.  While we were having a meeting with my boss the men’s toilet flushed all by itself.

We all looked at each other and my boss went to go check the men’s restroom and it was empty.  Then Phoebe laughed and said maybe the ghost is flushing the toilets and changing the thermostats at night.  My boss and I looked at each other and I freaked out.  Phoebe just laughed it off but now, I’m not so sure that these things aren’t just happening.   Another thing that’s been happening is that my office chair is always by the filing cabinet that’s behind me every morning.  Phoebe said that the night cleaning crew probably just leaves it there after vacuuming the office every night.  But then the cleaning crew changed their time to come into the office to early morning.  And one of them told me they only vacuum Tuesday’s and Thursdays but that they always put all the office chairs back right by the desks.  So, now I’m thinking we’re being watched by some ghostly prankster who loves to change the thermostats, flush the toilets for the fuck of it and move around my office chair for kicks.  

Ghost Horse……YES, GHOST HORSE!!

All of what’s going on in the office doesn’t help, especially with a story I heard from one of the agricultural students last week about a black horse that appears at night on campus in the equine lab/training/housing facility and the road behind our office.  I started laughing and told him to stop pulling my leg and the other student said that it was true.  Last year they put in night cameras to keep on eye on the horses because one of them learned how to open the latch to its stall door (I’m telling you animals are smarter than humans sometimes. ) Apparently the camera caught a dark shadowy horse like figure running around the training ground and she showed me the video they caught last November.  Now I’m even more freaked out because what comes to mind is the horse belonging to the Headless Horseman from the story of Sleepy Hollow.  That motherfucker was an evil horse with red eyes.  Okay no it wasn’t but that’s what I think of when the students tell me (and showed me) there’s a black ghost horse roaming around behind our office building.  I’m creeped out just writing about it, thinking it’s the ghost horse that’s turning our thermostat’s down to 66-degrees (but like how if it has hooves rather than fingers?) and randomly flushing the toilets and messing with my office chair!

Professor Poof

Remember the agriculture/livestock professor that hit my car a few weeks back?  Well he’s disappeared because I haven’t seen him for over a week and a half.  So the other day I went out to the capra (goat) dairy/lab facility next door to ask one of the students if they’d seen Professor Wonderful.  Then another instructor came out and told me he’d gone back to UNM (University of New Mexico) Agri-Extension facility in Albuquerque because he was only a visiting professor and had completed his year of instruction here on campus.   I was…. saddened to find that he just left and not even an email or a in person goodbye.  Or to even tell me he was a visiting professor and he’d be leaving soon, but whatever this seems to be a theme with men in my life.  So, it turns out Professor Wonderful turned into Professor Poof and just disappeared on me.  Speaking of stupid men, JMR as it turns out, is still trying to sneak his way back into my life……..to be continued.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Office Discord…..And I Had Nothing To Do With It

My boss, the director of our program is a great guy.  He’s got an awesome sense of humor, loves old films and sweets even more.  He goes swimming during lunch almost every day and as far as I know he has a wife and two sons.  We talk everyday about pending projects, funds for these projects and the regular federal grant/monies stuff.  Then there is…..HER, she is the former director who supposedly retired three years ago and drives my boss insane.  I’m going to call her Karen because that’s what she acts like, not with me but with my boss.  The fact that this woman is still coming around AND still has an actual office in our building despite being “retired” is a mystery to me.

She doesn’t show up often and since I’ve been here I’ve only seen her three times.  But every time she is here (which isn’t long, an hour at the most) she makes it a point to make my boss just loss his cool.  When I first started my boss showed me my office and as my jaw hit the ground because of its size, he walked me over to the other side of the building and showed me Karen’s office and said “when all of this is gone, I want you to move in here.”  Her office is bigger than my current office and I was like “okay, sure” and continued the tour of our building.  Karen, I thought was an engineer because she started this office of the New Mexico Space Grant Consortium back in 1998.  But she’s not an engineer she can just talk a good game and people tend to listen to her.  I’m not saying she’s a bad person she just rubs my boss the person that I report to, the wrong way.  And that makes me uneasy because I don’t have any loyalty to her, she is “retired” and comes into the office when she’s bored or has a project brewing of some sort.  Her PhD is in business administration but she found herself working with NASA the DoJ and the DoD for years. 

So, my boss introduced me to her the first time she came around and she seemed like a nice lady.  Obviously, she and my boss had spoken because she knew I came to this university with a Masters degree and she asked me if I had considered going back to school to get my PhD?   I said I hadn’t because frankly I’m tired of going to school, I already owe millions in student load debt that I’ve been paying off for about six years now.  Anyway, there is a lot of tension around here when Karen comes by and my boss is all too vocal when she leaves about her just honoring her retirement and staying away.

Not Everyone In NM is Nice

That’s right, I’ve been here a little over a month and getting use to the routine of actually coming into the office to work.  And for the most part everyone I’ve met on campus has been nice, accommodating and courteous.  But as for people outside of campus, well lets just say their manners leave a lot to be desired.  For instance, take this idiot below.

Seriously this monstrosity was polluting the air all around!

I was at a stop light one day as I went off campus to go get lunch and this asshole motherfucker with his ginormous truck (which is diesel by the way) was driving along two cars in front of me.  But every time the asshole took off black smoke came out of his tailpipe.  And said smoke would be sucked into all the cars behind him.  So, one of the drivers wanted to pass him and she did but then this idiot hammered down on the gas pedal and tried to out run her.  Letting loose a huge cloud of black smoke behind him and all letting the rest of us chocking on his oversized truck fumes.  Then he pulled into the same restaurant I had ordered lunch from and the guy definitely is making up for his lot in life being all of 4’11 feet tall.  I mean I couldn’t stop laughing all the way into the restaurant.  He noticed and after I ordered passed by me to ask what was so funny.  I laughed even louder and walked away after getting my order.  Well this didn’t sit too well with this miniature size man.  As I got into my car he gave me the bird and I laughed even harder.  Seriously my side was hurting through all the laughter.  He stomped his little feet towards my car and then yelled at me.  Now, normally I wouldn’t do anything like this but I got out of my car, and with my heels on, this dude was at my shoulders.  He was still trying to be intimidating but I finally said to him if he had a problem to do something about it.  He looked furious, I mean a furious as an ant can get right?  He just looked at me and stomped away, he looked so cute wearing his toddler sized jeans and boots….okay, okay I know.  It’s wrong for me to make fun of people but come the fuck on, if your going to have a truck that’s as obnoxious as your attitude you need to back it up physically.  And even then, guys like that get taken down by normal people because bullies rarely get away with picking on someone their own size.  But this wasn’t the case with Charlie the Ant (Ant and Aardvark) and his huge, reprehensible truck.

Now y’all know what I say about guys in trucks like that, if they have to augment their trucks to that extreme, they are definitely over compensating for something, right Tiny?

Professor Fantastic

Not his real name but what I’m choosing to call him for now has been visible for the last two weeks.  He’s come by to “talk” every morning for about 15 mins.  This is his truck, the one that bumped into my car the day I met him.

This is his truck and my car was where the empty parking space you see right in front of the green bush

He’s tall, dark and handsome and wears faded Wranglers and button-down shirts to work every day.  He changes his hats daily too (yes I do notice those things) and when he’s in the classroom he wears felt Stetsons.  When he’s out here in the labs dealing with livestock he wears straw Stetsons.  I managed to ask him about his relationship status and he said he’s divorced for about eleven years now, had four adult children all girls in various stages of professional careers.  And that he’s been at the university for close to a year.  He’s from originally from NM but from a town up north called Dulce.  Which in Spanish means….CANDY!!! Come on y’all tell me that’s not hilarious and ironic because this guy is the sweetest man I’ve met in years.  He’s eight years older than I am but then again, I’ve never been attracted to younger men and vice versa.  I’ll keep you posted.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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The Benefit of The Doubt Bit Me In The Ass….Again

In my last post I said the story with JMR was to be continued.  Why, because I knew that it wasn’t going to end well.  How did I know this?  Because it’s FUCKING JMR that’s why!!  A repeat offender does not a trustworthy person make.  Yes I made that up. 

I’m going to spare you on all the stupid details that I’m sure would anger you as much as they did me.  After dinner at a prominent steak house outside of El Paso and a walk on Scenic Drive holding hands and shit. He promised that he’d be better at being more communicative and call instead of text.  That he’d keep in touch at least once a day if this thing, this whatever it this is/was, was going to work.  After he dropped me off that night and the rocky start to the evening, he promised and promised to do better.

As much as he promised it didn’t turn out that way.  During dinner he had asked me to go with him to his 40th high school reunion.  And lets be honest here I’m not into that kind of stuff because I haven’t been to one of my own at all.  I said no three times and he kept trying to talk me into it and I sat there wondering why?  So I agreed, this way I could maybe find out more about this elusive person sitting across from me at dinner. 

Fast forward to the week of the dreaded reunion, which happened to be the following week.  For the most part he kept in touch over that weekend and then his communications became sporadic and then on Weds they ceased all together.  I attempted to start the dialog again to no avail, then I text him about the reunion and whether or not he would pick me up…..nothing.  I text him again on Friday to ask again if he was going to pick me up……nothing.  So I decided to call the motherfucker about this and he didn’t answer.  So, this is how I concluded that JMR is a fucking flake, commitment phobe and narcist.  Its been a week and a half and I’ve yet to hear from this asshole who tried so hard to convince me to give him a chance.  All the while at dinner explaining that he’s been a lifelong bachelor raising his daughter as a single father.  Never been married BUT was looking for someone to settle down with.   How he planned to stay in the Marines and make it a career but came back to El Paso because his father got sick.

Listening to him explain why he was the way he was, I thought to myself what a load of shit.  I don’t know what experience he’s been through or why he’s afraid of commitment, all I know is he can’t bullshit me.  He did divulge that he became a single dad after a one-night stand with a former coworker, and that I believed.  He said he didn’t even know he had a daughter until she was three years old.  I suppose he thought that would gain him some sympathy or something.  Well it didn’t, and again the entire time we were at dinner not once did he ask me about myself.  Another red flag albeit a red flag I had seen before.

So, after showing up at my house and trying to convince me to go with him to dinner for an hour and 20 minutes that I made him wait outside and only talked to him over my video doorbell.  And the dozen roses he had with him I gave in to his request to go to dinner.  Yes, at this point I know it was a stupid move but he was very convincing about the entire “lets date I promise you won’t regret it” bullshit.

Since then I haven’t heard from him, he stood me up for the date we were suppose to go on to his stupid 40th high school reunion and I feel even dumber for letting him con me again.  But I was relieved to not have to go with him to that stupid thing, I mean honestly why would he want me to go with him unless he had ulterior motives, right? At least that’s what I was thinking. But needless to say I blocked him on my phone and if the asshole wants to show up again at my door, I’m calling my son. Not the cops, my son. My youngest isn’t really happy with what JMR has done to me to this day, and he told me that if he comes over again and tries this shit, I should call him so he can come and “talk” to JMR in person. Which means that my 6’2, 237 lb, bodybuilder of a son will make sure he leaves me alone. And I’m okay with that.

On to something more interesting, an older livestock/agricultural instructor who’s a 6 ft tall cowboy, his truck bumping into my car and chemistry………..to be continued.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A Tale Of Two Cities……Ahem….States

I’m headed into my first month of being at my new job, maybe not so new.  But still there are things that I learn everyday that are considered new.  Like the fact that I will be traveling with my boss to a couple of conferences in 2023.  First is our bi-annual program meeting, we are after all sponsored by NASA and this fiscal year that particular meeting will take place in PUERTO RICO!  Am I excited?  Just a little bit, I mean I haven’t left the state of Texas for any reason other than when I got this job in the next state over. 

This is truly how east Texans think, note how I said “east Texans”

My commute has gotten a bit easier now that I’ve gauged the time and how long it takes me to get to the office. Well, that is unless I’m crossing the Anthony Gap and there is a rush of concrete trucks slowing the traffic to a near stop. There are rock quarries on both sides of the mountain, one on the Texas side and one on the New Mexico side, both owned by the same company. And when I see these trucks start pulling in front of me I’m cussing up a storm like a sailor or Marine who just got their weekend pass taken away. They are big, slow and full of loose rocks that can damage a car’s windshield. So needless to say I’m not happy when I see one of these trucks, let alone when they heard together like big huge bison on the highway. Which was the case last week and counted 16 of these monsters holding up traffic as we got to the two lane road near the interstate.

Speaking of Texas and New Mexico, there are some things I’ve noticed that well, make me glad to be a Texan and some that make me realize Texas needs some serious improvement.  One thing is that the cost of living in New Mexico, especially in this town/small city is about 4% higher than in El Paso.  The gas prices, food prices and the cost to rent and own a home is definitely higher.  So, I don’t ever fuel up in NM because it’s cheaper to do so back home.   That’s one bad thing about NM is that the cost of everything is much higher than it is just 39 miles down the road.  Texas one, NM zero.

This is some seriously true shit

One good thing is that here, no store has plastic bags, none!  You either bring your own reusable bags or you buy paper bags for about ten cents each.  I was shocked when one day during lunch I took a trip to the local Target store and had to pay twenty cents to buy two paper bags for stuff I bought for my office.  I admire that really, they banned plastic bags because of what they do to the environment, NM one, Texas two.

Friendly People in What My Dad Called A Tree Hugging State

Another thing I notices right away when I got here is that everyone here is so friendly.  Seriously my second day on campus I walked around and everyone from students to staff said hi to me.  I was completely in shock as the other unnamed university it was people walking looking towards the ground, ignoring one another and being rude when it came to parking.  Here the culture is so different and very palpable the very minute you encounter someone here.  NMSU one, University of Hell zero.

Friendly People but Not Friendly Drivers

Yes, yes I am

When I started driving to work in a different state I also noticed the difference in how Texas and New Mexico drivers drive.  I’m bias here so I’m going to be brutally honest and say…..New Mexico drivers drive like complete shit.  Yes, I said that because it’s true, especially on the highway and that’s where I see the biggest difference.   I see a NM license plate in my rearview and I get out of the way, they are maniacs and I had only heard of bad NM drivers in the past.  Not really seen it for myself until I began to commute for work.  I also notices a lot of people from El Paso driving to Las Cruces for work, we notice each other on the rural road we have to take in between the mountains and on the highway once we hit I-10.  Then we’re all bombarded with NM license plates speeding past us in a whoosh of whatever color car they are in.  Even the 18 wheelers can be seen yielding to these maniac drivers and letting them by to avoid “the face” when they pass you.  And by that I mean, that horrible, seemingly I’m late to work get out of my way so I can get there on time, you drive too slow face.   Even my boss who has only lived here for about 15 years says NM drivers are horrible and that when he drives to El Paso he can see the difference.  Also let me just mention that I grew up thinking that Texas State Troopers were out to get every speeding motorist on the highway. If you saw a DPS car or SUV in your rearview mirror you were pretty much screwed. New Mexico State Troopers are way worse, I’m talking they gave a new meaning to the word “speed trap” and that’s why I drive the way I do, I’ve seen so many people from El Paso pulled over on my way to work it’s not even funny. But I suspect it has to do with how NM drivers drive, so it balances out. So welcome to New Mexico, the Land of Entrapment. So Texas three, NM two.

TXDoT vs. NMDoT

So here’s what I noticed in the two states and their department of transportation, and apparently their maintenance of the roads and everything that is connected to them.  TXDoT seems to have perpetual construction happening, I mean LIKE ALL THE FUCKING TIME!  There isn’t one part of El Paso’s highways that aren’t under construction.  There’s even a t-shirt one can buy that says “El Paso highways, under construction since 1972.”  Although I couldn’t find an image to include here, I’ve seen several people around town wearing one.  Anyway, it seems as TXDoT is always fixing something, making it newer, better or after their done, tearing it down and starting all over again.  Then there is NMDoT, it seems they start things and finish and move onto something else in a totally different part of the city.  NMDoT seems reliable, fast and stealthy at that.  For example, on my first week commenting to work I noticed a huge pot hole on one of the over passes before my exit to get to campus.  I avoided said pot hole but low and behold the very next day, it was FIXED!!  Whereas in Texas pot holes live for months at a time getting bigger and bigger and causing vehicle damage along the way. And then when they do fix them, they only last maybe a week or so and the pot hole has resurrected itself and returned with a vengeance.  Also, roadkill patrol, NMDoT has one and TXDoT sadly does not and I ask myself why?  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Texas is the roadkill capital of the world.  But New Mexico comes in a close second.  The only difference is that in New Mexico you don’t see roadkill for more than one day on the highway.  In Texas…….it BECOMES PART OF THE HIGHWAY.  Which is sad if you think about it, but I won’t go into the logistics of that, ya’ll know what I’m talking about.  So Texas three, NM three.

Our Governors

New Mexico has a female governor that advocates for women’s reproductive health, has apparently balanced the state budget and is sometimes seen on campus. Texas has an idiot……Texas three, NM four.

He’s Back….

Yes ladies and gents JMR is back just like my dear friend Heather predicted.  Only I was ready this time (not that I wasn’t last time but after being ghosted twice I told myself I’d have sure fire plan of defense) so when he did show up I wasn’t the sweet, endearing and lovable girl I have been in the past.  It was a Friday after work one day and I was looking forward to the weekend.  As I got home I went to my mailbox to retrieve my mail, walked around my front yard and pick up a few weeds to throw in the garbage as I passed my garage door.  Then I went inside to go change, wash my face and have a fucking beer because it was a hell of a long week.   As I gave my cat some cuddles (that he didn’t want of course) and fed his fat ass I heard my doorbell.  I went to my phone to see who it was and low and behold, there JMR stood with a dozen roses and smile on his face.

Instead of opening the door I used the speaker on my doorbell camera and asked what he wanted.  He said he wanted to talk to me and I said no.  I told him that I wasn’t in the mood to talk and that I wanted him to just go away.  He stood there and then looked straight into the camera and said “Huntress, look I know your mad and I know I fucked up but that’s why I’m here.  Can we please talk?  I want to take you to dinner so that I can explain some things about myself and then maybe you’ll understand.”  To be continued…….

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A Slight Hiccup in An Otherwise Awesome First Two Weeks

On Monday morning on my second week of work I came into my office (did I mention I have a huge office?) went through my morning routine of grabbing some coffee, reading the news, going through emails and then it happened.  I get an email from Phoebe telling me and my director that she isn’t coming into work because she’s not feeling well and then tells us she tested positive for COVID.  I was like what the fuck Phoebe?!?!  I was training with her all week the week before in close proximity as well as joined a virtual meeting for about two hours and she’s COVID positive?  My director came into my office and said we all had to test.  I had two home tests at home and he and I said we’d do that as soon as we got home.  Well my test was a bust as I didn’t get an clear reading from it when I took the damned thing.  But Tuesday morning I woke up with a slight sore throat so now I was worried, because I’m a-symptomatic and it takes a lot and I mean a lot for me to feel like I’m sick. 

The Perks Continue!!

When I got back to the office the next morning I let my director know that my test came out inconclusive and then he said to me not to worry.  For me to walk down three blocks from our office and get tested at the University staff medical clinic.  Can you believe this?  We have a clinic for staff and faculty members to use like an urgent care and you don’t even have to have insurance to use it.  All they charge is $20 each visit for whatever ails you!!! The student’s have their own separate clinic. I’m like seriously we have a clinic almost free of charge to use instead of going to our doctor’s office?  I’m still in shock, this is amaze-balls people! Not to mention they also have a lab for us to use if our doctors require blood tests and a pharmacy, we have a pharmacy for use to use to get out Rx filled if we need to!! Again, totes amaze-balls!

So I drove myself down to the clinic instead of walking because classes were going on and tons of kids were swarming about and I thought if I might be COVID positive I didn’t want to expose anyone even just walking to the clinic.   I get there and they take me in right away with only my employee ID.  I was directed to a tent in the parking lot behind the building and a nurse saw me, asked about my symptoms and proceeded to do two COVID tests.  One rapid test and the other a more intensive PCR COVID test that takes about 24-48 hours to get the results.  This test by the way calls for a very, very long cotton swab shoved up your nose to the point of reaching the frontal cortex of your brain.   I left the clinic being able to run physics problems in my head and I think I found the cure for cancer………yes I’m being sarcastic as y’all know I HATE math. But that’s how deep the nurse went up my nose.

By the time I got back to the office I had my rapid test results and they turned out negative.  But the very nice nurse told me that until my PCR results came back I was to go home and not return to work until I was sure I wasn’t COVID positive.  She said even with the rapid test results that came out negative, with the variant that is out there it was better to be safe than sorry.  She sent me an email so that I could forward to my director to let him know that staff clinic personnel said for me to go home.  Well he said to me to just go home and rest if I didn’t feel good.  I said I was okay but was going to follow protocol and left.  I was worried about not having any sick leave since I just started this job and he called me on my way home to reassure me not to worry about sick leave.  He said I could just “work” from home and not really work.   

A Mild Cold

The next morning the nice nurse from the clinic calls me and tells me my PCR test came back negative and that what I have was probably a mild cold.  I had mentioned to her that I had a slight sore throat and some sniffles.  She said to take over the counter cold meds and that I should be okay. I emailed my director with the news and he said I should just stay home that day as well and not come into work until Friday.  I was surprised at his response since he was alone in the office with me and Phoebe out but he insisted.  I went back to work on Friday and started my day with coffee, reading the news, reading my emails and getting set for the day.  I felt kind of weird because it was a Friday and the weekend was in view and I’ve been really tired lately so I was looking forward to the weekend. 

A Prediction Come True

From my previous post my dear friend Heather over at Hopelessly Heather posted in the comments that JMR would somehow return, like for no apparent reason.  And what do you know, the motherfucker did and I wasn’t having that shit.   He sent me a text to which I didn’t respond, I mean what the hell for?  He’s ghosted me after two weeks of swim dates, coffee and a great time out at the film festival and dinner.  Then all of a sudden….poof, he was gone.  When I got his text I ignored it, not even reading it, I deleted it.  Then later that day another text, only this time I read it and it was nothing but how he’d finished working on his house and had found renters for three months that paid in advance.  To also let me know he had moved into his place on the west side of town and how everything was all good.  Finally, he asked how I was doing.  What in the fuck was I suppose to say?  Something like……oh I don’t know I mean we had such a great time and all and we went on a “real” date to the film fest and had a great dinner and conversation and then all of a sudden you pulled a David Copperfield on me and disappeared asshole!!!!!

I deleted that text as well without a response, the dude doesn’t deserve a response from me.  It could be that both of us are reacting this way because of our past experiences.  That very well could be the case, I don’t want to go down another road like I did with Lestat.  JMR could be reacting this way because of his past with an ex-girlfriend, who knows? Is it fair to compare JMR to Lestat?  No, it isn’t but he hasn’t really tried to explain his absence since I last saw him.  I mean what kind of guy just disappears after what I believed to be a great second start?  No text, no call, nothing just gone, like the wind (pun intended.)  His daughter lives on the same street I do, about five blocks away, it’s not like he couldn’t have come by to talk to me right?  I’m so done with trying to figure this dude out, either he tires or he doesn’t, he’s interested or he not.  If he disappears he should stay gone, am I wrong here?

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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New Job, New Attitude and All That Jazz

My first week at my new job (and new university) has been a chaotic see of excitement.  I’ve gotten situated in my new (huge) office.  Which isn’t either in a basement or void of a window, and parking on this university campus isn’t a horrific nightmare like my last two universities.  No, here there is a sense of harmonious calm and not to mention the friendly staff that I’ve met and will work with at this new job. My new boss/department director is a very nice, courteous man from Argentina.  He’s been at this university for over 15 years but he’s accommodating and knows his stuff.  The project coordinator is a very sweet, very nice and quiet young woman who is currently going for her masters.  And then we have our student worker whose name is reminiscent of a Mike Myers film because she’s named after the main character in “So I Married an Axe Murderer.”  Her name is Charly McKenzie, when she introduced herself I tried really hard not to laugh because she can’t be more than 19 or 20 years old.  And therefore, probably not familiar with that film.  So, I, Phoebe the coordinator (after Phoebe in Friends), my director and Charly McKenzie form our small but important department.  My boss is in the middle of trying to hire two other people which he mentioned on Friday that I’d supervise because I’m in charge of the office.

Whoa, now there’s a thought, I’m going to actually run this office.  I’ve been told this on several occasions in other jobs, but we all know how those turned out right? Micromanaged to death and not allowed to do the job I was hired to do.  In any case that’s the past (I have to be telling myself that everything is in the past) because I’ve started a new chapter in my life.  Since the insurance at the “city” sucked monkey balls and I mean SUCKED.  They had a $5000 deductible and I was like are you fucking kidding me?  The first three doctors’ appointments I had I had to pay out of pocket for them ($137 each) and I barely made it with what I was getting paid.  Anyway, enough about my horrid experience with the “city” and moving on to bigger and better things.   

My Commute

This is the actual road I take to and from work everyday. It’s called the Anthony Gap

My commute each day is about 80 miles round trip.  I thought it would be really long and tedious but I get here and back home in no time.  The only thing now is I have to make sure my beautiful little car is maintained so that I can continue to drive back and forth with no mechanical issues.  Also, because the mountain pass I have to take is deserted and in the middle of nowhere.  Although the traffic is heavy in both directions, it’s only a two-way highway and a gazillion 18-wheelers use this particular pass instead of the steep, even more treacherous pass over Transmountain Drive in west El Paso.   Using this road cuts about 6 miles off my commute and is less stressful on my Precious (yes, I named my car) and conserves gas.  And we all know what gas prices are like right now.   I don’t have a car payment right now and for a while I’d like to keep it that way.   So everyday it takes me about 40-45 minutes to get to work and back home again, so I’m pretty darn happy, but wait there’s more!

New State, New University, New Campus and……………….Livestock?

Who doesn’t love cowses? Or Chickens for that matter…

It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that I would have this great new job in a field I’m very familiar with and in a university setting that’s in a totally different state than where I live.  I drive 40 miles into a different state to go to work………..I’m still kind of in shock.   Then I was even more in shock when I find New Mexico has a state income tax rate of 5.9%.   I tried to calculate it but I gave up as to how much income tax the state of New Mexico is going to take out of my check.  But one things for sure, I don’t care, why?  Because I have a great job, in spite of traveling 80 miles round trip, and my new department and university are awesome.  I walked on campus here the very first week of work and it’s so quiet and calm.  Granted classes hadn’t started yet but even now the second week of classes it’s still calm, quiet and serene.  The perks?  Oh those perks….I have a huge office with a ginormous picture window facing the main campus.  Huge pecan trees line the road where out offices are and in back of our office? 

The agricultural/agri-life extension program.  This state university is mainly an agricultural university and they teach everything having to do with farming, ranching, livestock etc., along with other things yes but it started out as an agricultural university so parts of campus have actual livestock, cows, sheep, goats, bulls, rabbits, horses and…………..CHICKENS!   I see chickens on my drive to work and on campus no less.  On my second week I drove past chickens on the loose.  Yep you heard me right, chickens were just walking around near our office last week because apparently someone left the gate open to the large fowl compound open and voila, chickens.  But I love the atmosphere around campus.  Oh yes back to the perks, I get to gaze out my window all day long at the agricultural instructor’s saunter past.  Saunter you ask?  Why yes, and why do they do that?  Because they are COWBOYS!! I can watch cowboys, real, honest to god cowboys walk past my office window all damned day long!!  With their cowboy hats, faded Wrangler jeans, button down shirts, and well-worn cowboy boots.  Every so often they’ll turn, smile and tip their hat saying hello and I wave, smile and blush……I’m in heaven here y’all!!  

Monsoon Season Is Here…….Again

Well it couldn’t all be good news. Rain is here and although it’s been raining for a while now it’s just raining everyday all damned day long. The humidity is killing me, my hair and my general existence at home. It’s not too bad at work because we have refrigerated air and it’s nice, cool and dry. On Friday it rained almost 24 hours and the streets by my house were flooded to the point of almost having the water go over the curb and into my front yard. Not just my front yard but all three of my corner neighbor’s front yards as well. But Saturday the rain stopped enough for the water to subside and dry off a bit. The side affect from all this rain? Weeds, weeds and more fucking weeds that seem to grow overnight in every single fucking corner of my yard! I’ll be glad when September hits and the rain starts to subside and the cool air of Fall will make me happy again because the stinging heat of Summer was being a bitch.

Swimming Along

I’m going to say that the only great thing that came out of JMR and his swimming/coffee dates were that I loved the workout at the pool. And since his disappearance I’ve kept up with going to the pool and swimming for exercise. It’s a great total body workout and no impact for my shoulders and knees. I am by no means a competitive swimmer and I can only swim as I call it, a semi breast stroke. Which means I don’t put my head underwater because I have this thing about water going up my nose. So I just don’t even though JMR bought me some expensive goggles to wear. But, I just don’t and I swim to what I’m most comfortable with and I get my exercise. So now instead of going early in the morning I go after I get home from work, without JMR. And no I haven’t heard from his dumbass in more than two weeks so I’m guessing he’s moved on or chickened out. Not going to worry about it, his loss.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

The last two weeks has been a whirlwind of good, bad and ugly.  In that order so on with the show!

Brand Spankin’ New JOB!!!!!

After nine months of looking for a job (I mean other than the horrible one I have now) I finally hit pay dirt and I got hired at another university!!!  Said university is in New Mexico but from where I live it’s only a 30-minute drive.  I calculated the miles because I interviewed in person for this job and it’s actually farther to go visit my mom at her house than it is to get to my new job.  I’m going to be the program manager for a department for research in space exploration/engineering.   I’m excited as FUCK and I start on Monday.   And to add to the excitement they offered me $5K more than I was making at my last job, so you know I’m psyched as hell!!!

Meanwhile back in HellPaso at my soon to be old job, I’m fighting with HR to get my 33 hours of vacation paid out.  These motherfuckers told me I have to have been in this position exactly one year to have any vacation hours paid out and I’m like, are you fucking kidding me?!?!  I’ve appealed but I doubt it will happen.  And the one person I’m going to miss is my coworker who made this job bearable, seriously I’m so going to miss his sarcasm and humor, we had fun together. I’m so done with working here, so on to bigger and better things!

Swim Faster Your Sinking!

It certainly does

Yes people I sank and sank fast.  For two weeks I was heavily courted by JMR, swimming every morning by 6am, coffee and breakfast and classic movies from TCM at my house.  But here’s that kicker, I’m a sucker for communication, any communication.  I’m not talking smothering kind of communication but open dialog a couple of times a day.  When JMR would leave my house around 10am every day, I wouldn’t hear from him until the next morning when he’d text me that he was on his way to pick me up to go swimming.   We had a great time those two weeks and when it was time for our film festival date?  He was charming, polite and funny.  I sat through four hours of Lawrence of Arabia and I actually enjoyed it.  Then after he took me to dinner at a restaurant downtown across the street from the theater.  It’s a ritzy restaurant and I’d been there before with my old hag of a boss and although the food is good it quite pricy.  But that’s where he wanted to take me so I let him, and we sat and ate dinner and talked for two and a half hours the food was good and so was the conversation.  When the waiter brought the check, he was in the men’s room and I glanced at the total and it was $152.00!  On our drive home I even offered to make him dinner and he even offered his newly remodeled kitchen before he moved out. By the time he dropped me off it was 9:45 at night, I mean I’m in bed by that time on a weekday, this was Thursday.  Hell I’m in bed by that time on a weekend, who am I kidding here.  And then he picked me up the following day for our daily morning swim and coffee session, he left my house on Friday morning at 10:15am…………….

And I haven’t heard from or seen him since! After our disastrous date last year I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt since he’s the one that pursued me this last time hard core. I mean constant texts, invite after invite to the pool, hell he even offered to pay for one-month membership to the pool for me. He’s moving to the west side of town and won’t be swimming here after this week is over. I know he’s moving his things but, seriously? On Monday I got up at 5:45am to get ready for him to pick me up to go swimming and by about 6:00am I get a text telling me he’s not going to swim that day. So I figured okay, Tuesday we’ll resume our routine but nope, I got up again at the same time got ready and waited……and waited…….and waited. By 6:45am I sent him a text and he replied with he’s not going swimming at all this week because he’s busy moving his things from his house (which he’s renting via Air B&B after an extensive remodel) to a new duplex on the west side. In my head I was like “well thanks for letting me know asshole!” So here we are Weds and I haven’t heard anything from him whatsoever. Although I’ve gone to the pool by myself at night when it’s not so crowded because I really like the workout since I haven’t been running. And just like that, this…..whatever this was sank like the Titanic at the bottom of the relationship pool.

I have two BFF’s who are polar opposites, one is a romantic optimist who believes in second, third and fourth chances in everyone and everything. The other an eternal cynic, skeptical of everything and everyone but I suppose it’s a defense mechanism on her part. When I told both of them about JMR one was “OMG that’s great! I knew there was a potential connection between the two of you, I’m so happy!” And the other was “I don’t like JMR, he’s shown you he isn’t trustworthy, and you need to be careful.” Yes, those were their exact words and now I’m thinking my cynical friend was right about him since I haven’t heard from him at all this week but to tell me he’s not going swimming at all. I thought since we’d been doing this for two weeks, he’d think maybe I needed to know so I wouldn’t wake up so fucking early and wait for him?!?! Careless and definitely not trustworthy and with that said I’m so done with this man who proved me wrong when I thought he’d changed and was ghosted by him. Thank goodness it happened before I got attached to the motherfucker.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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There Is A Mystery Man………..I Think

Its been a while since I’ve entered into a relationship since my last disastrous one with Lestat.  That’s been going on 5 years already.  Wow, I didn’t even realize that it’s been that long.  In any case, there has been this person of interest who I met quite a while back and made a very bad impression on me.  I don’t really remember why…..wait, no I remember now.  It was the fact that I don’t really like people who are too into themselves to even bother to ask about someone else, to me that seems to be that they are a complete narcissist.

Enter The Personality Changeling

Two weeks ago this person made contact with me after months of silence and I was surprised to say the least.  But he isn’t the person I met back when, and this 360 turn of personality change is also a HUGE surprise.  I mean HUGE, because I have no idea what to make of this sudden interest in keeping my company.   First he showed up at my house, after he had sent me a text that he was at Starbucks and would I like a coffee?  I jokingly said, “Sure and I would like a Venti Breve Latte, Flavor, No sugar.”  He responded with okay and 20 minutes later he showed up at my house with coffee and a chocolate croissant.   Which also surprised me because I don’t remember if I had mentioned it in a past conversation.  He rang my doorbell and of course I really didn’t think he’d show up at my house at 7:26am to bring me coffee and breakfast.  I invited him in, as he had his coffee in hand and he was a complete gentleman.   As I work from home I was logged on to the training I was supposed to be listening to which was almost 4 hours long.  And he kept me company for the entire time until he said he had to leave because he had a meeting on the west side of town.  I walked him to the door, thanked him for the coffee and croissant and he hugged me before walking out my front door.

I said out loud, well that was weird and went back to “work.”  That evening as I was out in my back yard pulling fucking weeds because it’s been raining off and on for almost a month making these asshole weeds grow in every nook and cranny of my yard, and that’s when I got a text from him.  He asked if I’d like to go swimming with at the indoor pool that’s two blocks away from my house.  I was caught off guard as to why he’d ask me to go swimming.  But then I remembered that mentioned to me that he goes swimming for exercise every morning at 6am.  I thought he was just joking with me I didn’t respond.  Around 9 that night he called me to ask me if I’d like to go with him, and I, caught in the moment panicked and said……….yes.

So fast forward to the next day at 5:15am when I received a call from him telling me he’d be at my house at ten till 6 to pick me up to go hit the pool.  So half asleep I’m trying to find my bathing suit (which wasn’t really that hard since I’m at my son’s swimming every weekend) and putting together my swim bag.  After washing up, changing and slipping on my flip-flops, my doorbell rang.  I had put my hair up in a messy bun (since I had literally woken up like 10 mins before) and answered the door.  He was standing there, huge smile on his face and said “are your ready?”  I might have grumbled a half hearted yes and turned to lock my front door.  He ran past me to open the door to his truck which caught me by surprise (again) and I finally woke up.  We arrived at the pool right as they opened and my forgetting that they charge to get in panicked. But quickly realized that he’d taken his wallet out and paid for my entry.

I walked into the locker room to change and being kind of self conscious about this dude seeing me in a bathing suit wrapped myself in my towel. I walked out to the pool area an he smiled at me and pointed to the bench where his things were and then jumped into the pool.  I put down my stuff and left the towel on the bench and jumped in as well yelling “Holy fuck this water is cold!” so loud the lifeguard gave me the “stare.”  Which meant I wasn’t to cause a scene again.   He laughed and he asked if I was ready to swim to which I replied that I only intended to “float.”  He laughed again and began his regimen of lap swimming and I was honestly impressed.  This guy swims like a damned Olympian!  I floated at the end of the pool watching him swim back and forth in no time flat.  I tried swimming to and fro and realize that my forte was running as I felt clumsy and amateurish next to him and the other three people swimming for fitness as I just doggy paddled my way back and forth.

We swam…..okay he swam I floated for about 45 minutes because he knew I had to clock into work at 8am.  We left the pool and he took me for coffee and bought me a chocolate croissant too.  We headed back to my house so he could drop me off and he decided to stay.  Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed myself and even after I had logged on for work he stayed and we watched half the movie the Godfather.  He then said he had to go and he’d pick me up again the next day to go swim.   This has been going on for a week and a half and I’m starting to look forward to getting up to go swimming with him.  Then this morning he said to me that the local film festival is starting this weekend and that he’d like to take me to see Lawrence of Arabia (because apparently he also remembered that I love classic films, as does he.)

He said he chose the film because he remembered that I said I had never seen that particularly long film and asked if I’d want to go with him.  So, in short a guy that I thought snobbish and narcissistic and hadn’t heard from in months suddenly showed up into my life a week and a half ago.  And since then we’ve swam, had coffee and breakfast and watched old films on television.  All the while having meaningful and interesting conversation.   And I’m AT A FUCKING LOSS HERE PEOPLE!!!  It seemed that when we first met we didn’t like each other and that was our conversation was about this morning as we drove for coffee.   Then he referenced the fact that we were like the characters in When Harry Met Sally.   And I’m not going to lie, that impressed the fucking hell out of me!

So now, apparently I have a date for next weekend to go to the film festival to watch a movie I’ve never seen with a guy I thought I didn’t like.  

Stay tuned for……………”The Potential Dating Adventures of The Huntress” or “Swim Faster Your Sinking!”

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Questions/Thoughts I’d Just Put Out to The Void In The Universe

I thought I’d put out some questions out to the universe to find out what in the fuck is going on.  Some rhetorical and some not.  So here I go.

Open Toed Sandal Guy At Walmart

I think the guy I saw at Walmart had longer nails

Why or should I say how the hell do you walk in closed toe shoes with your damned toe nails so long it would take a miter saw to cut them down?  I mean seriously dude, it’s like your nails are almost touching the bottom of the floor even in your Adidas sandals/flip-flops.  What the hell?

Roundabouts In Texas

Why?  Just fucking why?  If people clearly don’t know how to use them.  Just put up fucking street lights to keep all the inept idiots on the corner of Edgemere and Rick Beem from being total asshats not knowing what the word YIELD means.  Motherfucking idiots.

Indeed and ZipRecruiter Get Your Shit Together

I honeslty don’t know what this feels like

Seriously, Like I have some experience with accounts payable/receivable but not enough to be recommended to be a goddamned CPA, what the literal fuck?  And the jobs posted I am qualified for you tag as “not a good match” you fucking IA generated idiot.

Go Beto O’Rourke!

Seriously asshole…fyi I didn’t vote for this

Your gaining speed for Governor of Texas so that you can oust that Hot Wheels asshole Abbott and his extremist right wing agenda and Trump ass-kissing tendencies.  I think Texas is pretty much tired of the bumbling job our current governor is doing.  And just for the record Governor Abbass, I don’t appreciate your supporters texting me asking if I’m going to vote for you against Beto.  Which my response was “Oh Hell to the Motherfucking NO!”  Yes, I really did text back to the random text I received from his campaign.

Loudmouthed Frat Idiots at the Minor League Baseball Game Saturday Night

Why don’t you go drink in a bar???  This public display of overloaded testosterone to shame the visiting team is really a cry out of insecurity for you alcoholic, overindulgent, self-entitled, lonely, C+ grade in college, inability to overcompensate for your lack of talent both academic, physical and personal.  If you think the visiting team were so bad, why don’t you pick up a baseball glove and see if you call can do better, which everyone in section 102 knows you can’t because your too god-dammed drunk and obnoxious to do so.  you acted like the four-year olds you all and I’m sure you are making your alcoholic mothers proud. I ended up rooting for the visiting team, because our local team is undefeated so I thought what the hell?

Classic Golden Girls

Why I Sophia Petrillo so beloved?? I recently watched a couple of episode of the Golden Girls on the Hallmark Channel…..I had nothing else to do at 2am okay?  And came to the realization that Sophia Petrillo is a fucking bitch and a half!  She may be the oldest member of the girls (and I use that term loosely) but she’s a money grubbing, insensitive, loudmouth, entitled wrinkled old bitch.  As a kid watching the show, I thought it as funny, but as an adult not so much.  I’d have kicked her out of the house if I was Dorothy, trying to support this (as she put it in one episode) withered old Sicilian monkey.  I have no idea why she is one of the most beloved characters in this show. 

January 6th

Yes, it did happen no matter how many Trumptowners say it didn’t.  His wall of lies is now starting to crumble thanks to some of his own supporters.  Frankly I’m glad that his loyalists are turning on his stupid ass.  They are no doubt starting to see that he has absolutely no protection to offer or guarantee.  So, with that said I hope that they do something to prevent him from running in 2024.  And even if he is able to run his clout isn’t what it used to be. 

Downton Abbey vs. Bridgerton

Why is there even an argument about this online?  Seriously who the fuck cares?

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Its Funny….

No, not really it isn’t funny but I didn’t know what else to title my post. But I’m trying really, really hard to stay as positive as I possibly can and here’s why….

I know I’m Blessed In Spite of My Circumstances

Because in spite of my current situation with losing my great paying job, I still have been able to pay my mortgage, have food in the fridge, put gas in my car (although I don’t know for how long) and I have a job (even though I don’t like it), I still am blessed that I’m not living out of my car in a WalMart parking lot. But, having a great attitude is trying for me right now, I’m finding myself talking to to my reflection in the mirror reassuring myself that things will get better. But yet, almost nine months into my current situation I’m still in the same place. It’s like this, imagine your swimming and your making headway and then the current changes and no matter how much you swim your still in the same spot. And to be honest I’m tired of swimming against the tide here, but through all the bad there is some good and I have to remind myself that the good out-weights the bad.

Why ZipRecruiter and Indeed, WHY???

I have used several of these hiring portals to put in what seems like thousands upon thousands of applications. I have created my profile very carefully to target jobs of a manager or director position and still what do I get?? I get targeted for jobs of forklift operators and custodial positions!! I’m like how in the FUCK does my profile match me with forklift operators, warehouse supervisors and custodial jobs???!!!! Then I go on and look at some of the postings and I see that director or manager positions in the healthcare area are tagged as “Not A Good Match.” Which I totally am because thats WHAT I WAS DOING BEFORE I LOST MY FUCKING JOB!!!! Okay….breathe, breathe……

My Neighbor Is Making Me Look Bad

This is me, trying to get my message across

My dear, dear, sweet neighbor whose name is Jessy James, yes that’s his real name. Is a retired Navy veteran who spends hour upon hour caring for his very green and very lush lawn. Monsoon season came early this year and it’s been raining like a motherfucker for the last three weeks. So naturally his lawn is beautiful and mine? Not so much, the only thing the rain has made grow on my side of the fence are weeds, fucking weeds, goats head thorn weeds, creeping Charlie weeds! Yes I have green patches of grass here and there but they are just patches at this point. But mostly annoying as fuck weeds.

My Son’s Pool

My son’s pool is a little bigger than this

My son bought an above ground pool for his house because since I can remember that’s been one of his goals is to have a pool to cool off in the summer. Its not a big pool, it’s only 14ft long and about 5ft high but just big enough for us to be able to take a dip and swim around for a while. So since he’s put up his pool, I’ve spent almost every weekend over at his house.

I See Stupid People Everywhere……But Mostly Online

Since the January 6th hearings began to investigate if that orange idiot had any part of what happened (because logical and sensible people know he did) his followers are all trying to cast some serious shade on the people coming forth and testifying. I for one can think for myself and I believe that the petulant child Donald Trump is, had every intention on not only persuading those idiots on Jan 6th, but to actually join in on that organized chaos he created. His “people/followers/believers” (can anyone say Jonestown?) think that any type of democracy is pure sabotage and that Trump is their god and deserves to be president. I get targeted by people who can’t hold a logical and educated conversation about this issue because 1) their temper gets the best of them 2) they have no actual facts to argue 3) they act just like their stupid leader 4) they get their information from other idiots online who spread misinformation about what really happened. They are all immature, uneducated and ignorant assholes who follow blindly and are ready and willing to swallow gallons upon gallons of the toxic Kool Aid that Trump and his team have prepared. Democracy is what is keeping Trump and his followers from taking this country to hell in a hand basket. No, our current president isn’t doing the greatest job, but at least he’s not out there cultivating hate among the people who can’t think for themselves that don’t understand what the spreading of hate can do to our country. I found to my dismay that my boss/supervisor is a Trump supporter and every chance he gets he bashes our current president. Finally I had to interject and tell him politely that work isn’t a place for him to spew his political ideals because not all of us share his views. He also thinks that climate change is a hoax…….oh God please give me patience because not only do I hate my job but now I’ve lost any respect for my boss and that’s a sad, sad thing for him.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Insert Blog Title Here….

Sorry folks, I couldn’t muster up the energy to think of a witty or interesting blog title, so I improvised.

It’s Been A Very Trying Year

I’m still here, surviving and trying to get my life back on course.  Which hasn’t been easy since last October when I lost my job with the University of Hell.  But I suppose that was a blessing in disguise, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.  I have been trying to find some sort of motivation for the not so new job I have, but that in itself has been a challenge.  I don’t know why it’s not happening….oh yeah wait, it the fact that the pay sucks monkey balls and the job I have to do has nothing to do with my education or experience for that matter.   And I’m barely making ends meet, which is also a struggle because I really don’t want to sell my house if worse comes to worse.   The only good thing is that I work from home therefore saving money not having to fill my gas tank with gas prices the way they are right now.  Not to mention no wear and tear on my car having to drive into the office that still has no functioning AC.  I’m trying no to complain, really I am because I decided that I need to change my state of mind to try and be as positive as I can to stay sane.  Although I have many challenges that make me want to fucking just punch a bitch!!!!

Motormouth and Her Incessant Interruptions

My coworker who I’m suppose to be learning from has the horrific habit of constantly interrupting ANYONE who is speaking.  Whether it’s on a Teams meeting, in person or on a phone call and it drives me up the fucking wall.   We have several of these stupid meetings each week which take up precious television binging time for me.  Last week we had a team meeting and my coworker and partner in crime was trying to report on his part of what he was doing and Motormouth constantly interrupted him.  To the point that my boss text me and asked if I thought if she might have rubbed my worker, (whom I’ll call Stabler, because he’s just as good looking as Elliot Stabler from Law & Order SVU) Stabler the wrong way.  I responded with definitely!   I told my boss she rubs a lot of people the wrong way because not only does she think she knows everything just because she’s been here for more than two decades but, because she thinks only her way IS the right way.

I told my boss that she needs to stop because her opinions aren’t always right and she has no communication skills whatsoever.  He didn’t respond to me so I’m assuming he knows that Motormouth has gotten on my nerves and I don’t like her.  Stabler has already mentioned to me that if he doesn’t get some kind of training by the end of July he’s leaving.  I would say I feel the same way but I have to stay at this fucking job because I need the money until I can find something else.

I’m Tired Of Going to Funerals

As you all know my father passed away in March, it wasn’t expected. Okay it might have been a little since my dad was a stubborn man and didn’t follow direction too well especially from his doctors. But we all assumed he’d get better and go home. Well, during all the drama with my dad’s passing my aunt (my dad’s brothers wife) was a huge help. She helped with the luncheon following the funeral, with food, with support, with everything. She was there when my dad had died at the rehab home the morning he passed along with my uncle. My aunt had been a fixture in my childhood because she and my uncle were always around. I grew up with my cousins and we played, went to school and we were always together. My aunt was the one who took my to my first OBGYN appointment when I found out (at age 15) that I was pregnant with my son. On the drive to the doctors office she spoke to me like she related to my situation. It turns out she did, she told me that she was scared too when she got pregnant at the age of 19 and that’s why she and my uncle got married. She did clarify that she loved my uncle very, very much. But she knew I was scared not knowing what or how I’d be as a mother, but then she said I wasn’t alone and not to worry too much. She laughed and said “I’m not going to lie and tell you it will be easy. But it will get easier as time goes by so, remember if you need to talk or have questions you can call me.” She had such a beautiful smile and great sense of humor. Well because I hadn’t seen her in such a long time, that day at the rehab hospital I did notice she was yellow. I mean jaundice yellow, her eyes and her skin were not a normal color. It was a shock to see her like that, I was worried but I didn’t say anything. I did however tell my mom and she told me she too had seen her and asked her if she was okay. My mom said my aunt told her she hadn’t been feeling well but she had a doctors appointment in May.

In early May my aunt told me she was in the hospital because she had gone to her doctor and he admitted her not liking the fact she had severe jaundice.  She had been in the hospital a week having tests run for all kinds of things and her doctor found a mass on her bladder.  They did a biopsy, but we didn’t find out the results because on Mother’s Day my aunt passed away, she was 74 years old.  Another funeral was planned and my uncle had lost both his oldest brother and his wife in the span of a month and a half.  At the funeral service he asked if I would read a scripture passage and as reluctant as I was, I said yes.  I’m so fucking tired of burying family, I’m sick of it!!!!!  And I’m so angry and having to do so, I hope and pray I don’t have to anymore for the time being.

So Many Applications

I’ve been looking for a job since October, and so far, the only job offer I’ve had is the job I have now. And y’all know how I feel about this job, I’m not comfortable here, the pay sucks and the some of the people I can’t stand. But it’s the job I have and I need the money because I don’t think I could survive without it. I used what little savings I had on trying to stay afloat when I was on unemployment and since I don’t even break $1900 a month, so I can’t replenish my savings now. I’ve made many, many applications since October and have steadily had several interviews that came from them. But I’ve yet to find something that pays better or is within the realm of my education and experience. I’m even applying to the main campus in Lubbock of the university of where I use to work at. I’m willing to commute if the pay is worth the sacrifice. I just need something better than what I currently have. I am grateful to have a job right now believe me. But I feel out of place, like an outsider in this organization and I’m thinking Stabler does as well. My boss has only been there a month longer than I have and he too had to settle for so much less in salary. The only thing is he’s willing to stay here and I’m not. So I continue with my job search for a better professional opportunity.

I Need A Vacation

Seriously I need a vacation but with gas prices the way they are and inflation hitting an all time high someone in my salary bracket can’t afford anything remotely reasonable.  Even a “staycation” is out of the question since I already stay home for work.  I’m going crazy at home, and I can’t even work on my house because, hello I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY.  I thank God that I don’t have a car payment because I would surly drown financially if I did.  I can stay above water financially for now, which only means the type of vacation I can take is called “Liquor and Netflix.”  I just want this year to start going in a somewhat positive direction for both myself and my family.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Tap Dancing on A Land Mind or How to Dance Like No One’s Watching

I’m on my second month at my job at Chaos (yes that was a Get Smart reference) because that’s exactly what it’s been like working here.  Except for the supersonic elevator that goes up and down in the film (not the series) because it’s fucking slow as hell and I get down the three flights of stairs faster than the elevator.  Our second in command whom I’ll refer to as Skinner (the chef from the film Ratatouille) because that’s exactly what he’s like.  A short, ill tempered, power hungry little man with a huge ego and Napoleon complex.  Who makes us attend weekly department meetings only to hear himself talk.  Which by the way is like nails on a goddamned chalk board because 1) he has a thick Mexican accent and 2) because he asks people questions and then talks over them to answer his own question. 

 Skinner loves to hear himself talk and his favorite words are “codify” “solidify” “team effort” and “resiliency” which he uses all out of context.  I mute him while on these virtual meetings so I can actually do some work.  My boss calls him Megamind but I’ll call him Skinner because the fucker is just like that short little chef who wants to be in control at all times.  He sits at his office at home because we’re all still on a hybrid schedule only going in once a week, with pictures of the American founders signing the Declaration of Independence on his wall and has mini statues of Greek gods on his shelves instead of books on vocabulary and communication.  Which let’s face it he desperately needs to read, instead he uses visuals like copies of old Americana portraits and small statues of gods to make everyone think he’s as smart as he thinks he is.  Which everyone knows he’s not because of his demeanor and he’s already rubbed me the wrong way because he talks down to everyone including my direct supervisor.  He’s a fucking kid just out of college and completely wet behind the ears who thinks just because of his title he should act like a complete asshole.

Other Things Happening In My Life

I’ve heard so many things about Downton Abbey but haven’t really ever been interested in actually watching the series.  That is until last week when everyone at work was told to stay home until the AC at the old ass building we work in has been fixed.  It’s a damned hot house in there and the AC only works on one side of the building and wouldn’t you know it, it’s not the side I work in.  I was baking like a fucking toasted cheeser last week at work and at 2:30pm I called my boss who was working from home to tell him I was out of there.   I came home logged on to my work computer and sat on the couch to watch t.v.   I came across Downton Abbey on BBC America and watched the first episode (not the first episode of the series) but my very first episode and I was so intrigued that I binged watched the entire season 3 and then have gone back to watch the first and second seasons non-stop.  Who knew I’d love this series as much as Ted Lasso?  But I do and I’m still watching it right now, yes, I’m at home “working” but watching Downton Abbey and contemplating having afternoon tea and some tea sandwiches of pimento cheese, yes not very British but I’m in Texas so sue me.  Pimento cheese was one of the first things I learned to make as a girl growing up, no it wasn’t very Hispanic/Latin.  My mom taught me, and she learned from the white ranchers’ wives she worked with babysitting for them as a teenager.  These white ladies came from East Texas and I’m sure they weren’t too happy about being uprooted and brought to far Southwest end of the state, so they adapted.  Believe me it’s delicious and I love it.

Returning to the Treadmill

No technically not a treadmill but this is how I felt last week

I’ve started once again to get back into shape since I’ve been absent in my workout routine since February when everything hit the fan with my dad, my house and well everything.  Let’s just say this year has been a clusterfuck train wreck of a year for me and my family.   So I picked up where I left off or so I tried realizing I couldn’t run my 5K like I had prior and have had to start at walking the distance first.  Then my yoga routine also fell by the wayside where I’ve had to do the same, but I’m a week in and I hope to get back to where I was back in 2020. 

What the FUCK Do YOU MEAN MY HOUSE IS WORTH $180K?!?!?!?

One day a couple of weeks ago I sauntered out to get the mail and got a letter from my friendly neighborhood appraisal district telling me that they are valuing my home at $180K.  Which means that the taxes on my home will go up in the 2022 tax year!! Those motherfuckers are trying to give all the homeowners the shaft and I’m not going to take it!! So, what did I do?? I filed a fucking protest and had plenty of evidence to plead and prove my case.  They gave me an appointment to go before the appraisal board and on that day, I showed up with all my files, pictures, previous appraisals that I got off of their website and a comparable market analysis my realtor JMR provided to me. 

I waited patiently as I was one of about 30 people there and when it was my turn, I went up front to present my case.  The appraisal board is a committee of five people four men and one woman, which is extremely disproportionate.  They asked me why I thought their appraisal of my home is wrong, I began with these appraisals in question were done on a blanket type of program.  They didn’t really do them according to each home’s individual assessment.  I pulled up all the photos of the in-ground pool filled with dirt and rocks.  The electrical panel in the garage that needs to be updated, the garage door jambs that are rotting from the floor because water pools at the door when it rains.  The makeshift, poorly poured concrete in the back yard, the cracks in the brick on the side of my house, the small concrete plug that is up against the back to prevent water from pooling and rotting the wood.  I had tons of pictures and written information that I presented.  To say the least I went in completely prepared to debate any of the board members that might have found their appraisal to be accurate. Then after I had finished my 25-minute presentation, I thanked them for the opportunity to present and sat back down.  Before they called the next person, they called me up to tell me that they would offer me a settlement of $141K instead of the proposed $136K I had presented to them.  I quickly accepted and left happy that I didn’t have to pay taxes on a home appraised at $180K.  I rest my case!

Continuing Obsession with Coconut Cake

Yes, I’m still continuing my ever-evolving coconut cake recipe and I think I’ve come to my final and yet brilliant adaptation to it.  It’s quite simple really and I love the fact that it actually tastes like coconut, to which I still devotedly add my chocolate ganache sauce on the side.  The recipe is simple really and I’ve yet to try it in round 8” cake pans.  I will this weekend, but since this has been purely experimental for taste I’ve used an 8” rectangular baking dish and it still comes out delish!  Recipe is as follows:

  • 1 box white cake mix
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 1 can cream of coconut
  • 3 eggs
  • ¼ cup vegetable oil
  • 1 tub of Cool Whip

Prepare cake mix as per the instructions on the box, except instead of water, use the can of coconut milk.  Follow baking instructions on the box and when the cake is done leave it to cool slightly.  Heat cream of coconut for about 45 seconds in the microwave, stir to mix thoroughly.  While the cake still warm, poke holes in it with a fork, end of a wooden spoon or chopstick and pour cream of coconut over the entire cake.  Let set in the fridge for about an hour then frost with whipped topping.  Now this topping is purely optional and for me it’s the best option since it’s not heavy or too sweet for me.  In spite of the cream of coconut on the cake, it’s not overly sweet or mushy either.  It’s perfect for the chocolate sauce on the side, okay let’s face it this cake is only a vehicle for the dammed chocolate sauce.  Since I can’t drink this chocolate sauce out of a wine glass this is the best I can do. Gee maybe I should cut down on the cake and put more effort on the treadmill? Ppffttt…….hell to the no!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Rock Bottom Or How To Bounce Back from a Rock

I loved the Rocky and Bullwinkle show, at the end of every episode they’d describe the next episodes title with an alternative. Which were typically puns of the same title, so I’m going use this as a title format for my post today. Because as bad luck would have it, things have gotten a bit better but not by much.

Started My New Job And Already Hate It

Now ya’ll knew where this was going right? Since I had already posted having to take a huge cut in pay from my last job. Then the entire working from home situation that for some, might be a peach of a situation. But for someone like me, who already has a hard time trying to keep the lines of work and home separated, isn’t a great work situation. Because on several occasions when I’ve had to review documents (which at times takes fucking hours) instead I find myself watching the Cooking Channel and laying on the couch with my hand on my laptop to keep it from going into sleep mode so that it shows I’m woking. Yes this is bad I know, but I’m not a great work from home person like my coworker Babble Mouth. Which on several virtual meeting was seen sitting outside with her husband eating breakfast. This is not what I call professional, yes I may watch t.v but when I have a virtual meeting, I’m in front of my computer and paying attention for fuck sake! And I’d never eat during a virtual meeting, NEVER!

But if going to the office was an option, then it wouldn’t be any better. So our office building is an old building that was once a warehouse, then an art gallery and is now city government offices. This building was converted to sections of different city entities that have huge cubicles, air conditioning that doesn’t work and ONE kitchen/common area where the refrigerators/microwave/sink and coffee pots are…….and THEY ARE ALL IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT!!!!! My office is on the 3rd floor and the there’s one elevator for all three floors not to mention the badly constructed are deco stairs made out of pure concrete.

When I say the air conditioning doesn’t work I mean it works….but barely. I went into the office this past Tuesday and I was there for half an hour and I was sweating like a pig. And the fact that everyone in my department is working on a hybrid schedule, so not all of us are in the office at one time. So I was there by myself for a while until my new co-worker showed up and made my time in that infernal hell hole a lot better. Not to mention that I had back to back virtual meetings almost all damned day long. Having to hear my other coworker talk over my boss for hour upon agonizing hour was getting on my last nerve, and this is the person that is supposed to be training me. She has the horrible habit of talking over everyone even if you began the conversation or answered a question first.

She hears you but doesn’t care she just babbles and babbles until the rest of us just give up and let her ramble on. She’s so annoying that I’ve already thought up countless ways of disposing of her body.

New Co-Worker is a Complete Ray of Sunshine

My new coworker is a great guy, he was hired to be part of our team a week after I started. We hit it off as soon as we met. He has a great sense of humor and it’s as sarcastic as I am, which makes for a much welcomed change from Babble Mouth and Sarcastically, Ill Timed Comment boss. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boss he’s a great guy but he has what I called bad timed mouth. He says the wrong thing at the wrong time, which at times makes for a lot of awkward situations. My new co-worker is such a sweet guy and I love that he gets my humor and then joins in. Which makes us a really good but evil combo of coworkers if you ask me. When we got our first paychecks he walked over to my cubicle and said “Is this a joke or did I really fuck up by taking this job?” I looked at him and said “Its both, believe me I know exactly how you feel.” He laughed like Tom Hanks in The Money Pit when the tub falls through the floor of the house he’s renovating, and walked away.

Which endeared me to him even more because he’s like me, we quote movies all the time. So I knew exactly who he was imitating when he did it and in turn make me laugh out loud for the first time in what seem like months.

Trying To Making Ends Meet

After my coworker and I saw a full paycheck of ours I began crunching numbers and literally almost cried because there is no way I am going to be able to afford to keep my house if I don’t find another job that pays me more soon. My coworker is a contractor/house flipper who has a business on the side so he doesn’t have to worry so much about what he’s getting paid. I mean he’s not happy about it but because of COVID hitting his business hard, he took this job to supplement his income. But I on the other had have had to contemplate some serious changes, which include maybe having to sell my house and move in with my oldest to avoid having to file for bankruptcy to avoid losing my house in a bad situation turned worse. I cried all night on Monday night because I’m feeling as if this horrible year just keeps getting worse. I can’t believe it hasn’t even been a year in my house and now I might have to resort to selling it to avoid drowning financially. Just writing this makes me want to cry, I can’t believe I’ve found myself here.

Searching for Other Opportunities

Even before I started this job, I told myself that I was going to keep looking for something that paid close to what I was making before. Something that didn’t require me to take a $13K pay cut, I could handle even a $5K pay cut to live comfortably and now worry the way I am now. Slowly but surly I’ve scored some interviews, and since most of them are virtual I’ve had no problem taking them while I’m at “work” at home. I hope to find something soon so I won’t have to take the drastic measures I’m contemplating right now. I’ve been using ZipRecruiter and Indeed for help with searching for better opportunities but I keep getting referred to administrative/secretary positions. I uploaded my resume with the title of executive manager, which is what I was but my title didn’t correspond with my duties. And even though I’ve changed my preferences in both, I’m still getting referred to secretarial jobs that are hourly and pay little to nothing and that pisses me off to no end.

I even contacted JMR to help run the numbers since the housing marking is hot for sellers right now, and there is a shortage of inventory. So this one thing could be in my favor and I could actually walk away with some cash in my pocket if I have to sell my house. As he said, this money can be something I can save for when Im ready to buy another house. But I’m thinking I won’t be able to buy another house anytime soon with the housing market the way it is and mortgage rates going up anytime soon. My boys tell me to try and stay positive and I know they mean well. They are also all ready to jump in and help if I needed it, so I know I’m extremely blessed because of the men they turned out to be.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Trying to Keep My Faith

It’s been a hectic couple of months. I’ll have to say that about the time I’ve been through lately. I keep wanting things to change for the better but somehow, they just keep roller-coasting for the worst.  I have to remain optimistic even in the hard times I suppose, but sometimes I struggle to keep my faith because it’s been tested in the last five months.

It’s taken me five months to finally find a job, I keep telling myself that there was no choice and I had to because if I didn’t the bastards at the unemployment would call me out on why.   I took a city government job that is 100% remote with only going into the office on Monday’s half day.  This Monday I met the newest member of our growing department, he’s a building inspector that is working with our team.   When we met we got along swimmingly, well that’s what our boss said.  We have new employee orientation on the next coming Monday together.  The new guy said in passing about our boss that he thought he seemed like a genuine guy and has a great sense of humor.  Then he added that everyone had to have a sense of humor with what we were all getting paid.  I did a double take and asked him how he knew what everyone was getting paid?  He laughed and he said that if he got short changed with his salary he was only guessing that all of did. 

I nodded my head and told him that I sure as hell did.  Then I decided to do a bit of research and after a few minutes found that all of us new hires are being paid the “entry level minimum” for our positions.  Then I found that Fake Blanche Devereaux is making over $140K, and that may not be much everywhere else in the world but here in El Paso that’s over the median salary for an executive.  Then quite by accident I found out our boss who was working with a huge construction company here out of Dallas was getting paid more than the director.  And now, he’s making only about $5K more than I am!!  This is not exactly the sign I was looking for to reassure me that I need to stop looking for something else that pays a bit closer to what I was making at the university of hell.

Things Just Kept Getting Worse

My dad went in for surgery for a esophageal hernia in mid-February.  He seemed to be making progress but less than four days later he was back in the hospital again because he couldn’t swallow let alone eat.  The surgeon found that since my dad didn’t follow post-surgery instruction of not bending over or forcing himself to cough he somehow caused his diaphragm to swell and causing it to be sucked up into the esophagus causing his not being able to swallow.   So he had a second surgery to undo what he had done when he didn’t follow post-surgery instructions.  I got so mad at him because he was being so fucking stubborn and to add to that he wouldn’t take his medications.  He wouldn’t walk even though he was told he had to because he had deep vein thrombosis.  He’d develop blood clots if he stayed immobile.  So he was released from the hospital a second time only to be back another three days later, then he stayed for the internal medicine doctor to see him and well let’s just say he was being stubborn once again.  Not taking his medications, not doing his physical therapy or wearing his hearing aids and his dentures.  His doctor took him off of his blood thinner because he was severely anemic due to not eating.  The doctor told him he had to eat and my dad rudely said he didn’t like chicken, green beans or spinach.  Which was what the dietician had brought him in the day I was there during lunch.  The doctor then said he had to eat so he could get better and go home and my dad begrudgingly ate his lunch. 

Then the doctor said he was transferring my dad over to a nursing rehab home until my dad could get his strength back and eat well enough to be able to be put back on his blood thinners.  He was transferred over to the rehab nursing home on a Monday night and on Weds morning at 4:16am he passed away from a pulmonary embolism.  My dad was 83 years old.

This has been the worst five months I can recall and as I mentioned before my faith is waning.  I don’t really talk about my spiritual faith because, really its nobody’s business but mine.  But lately I’ve been questioning the Lord and what has been going on in my life the last five months.  It seems that everything has gotten progressively worse.  The preacher at the church I attend talk to me a couple of Sunday’s ago and he put things into perspective for me.   Even then I’m having a hard time with all of this.  But as he said I have to have faith and the God doesn’t test us or put us through all the hard times, the world and the people in it do and it’s up to us and our faith to endure and get past it.  I’m trying right now really hard and I suppose that’s all I can do for now. As Forrest Gump once said…”That’s all I have to say about that.”

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Too Soon?

I wanted to wait a couple of weeks before I posted anything about some of the people I work with at my new job, you know to get a feel for my new coworkers. But, I can’t wait as first impressions for me are extremely important because it can make or break a good working relationship. So on with the show!

My new boss is awesome, he’s straightforward, blunt and comical. We have that in common I think, but then I found out he’s only been here since February 7th and I am the first person he hired. So on Monday it was my first day at work and I had to be there in person to meet with him and the compliance specialist that will be training me. He kind of inherited her from the two pervious supervisors. But talk about……………wanting to smack this bitch in the face! I’m going to call her Fake Jackie after Roseanne Barrs TV sister Jackie.

Because she doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up and I’m still trying to find out exactly what she does. Anyway, when I got there to meet my boss in person for the first time we went to our designated area where our cubicles are. As far as cubicles go they are huge, almost as big as an office. But I’ve learned that cubicles are no where nearly as private as we’d like. I’ve refrained from talking loud on the phone or to anyone in person but not Fake Jackie though. More on that in a second, on to Fake Blanche Deveroux (I might have used this name before but this is a new coworker so we’ll just keep it)…..she’s our Director and oversees our entire department. We got there on Monday and my boss had a call from his boss that we had to go down to a “meeting” at one of the local community centers. Mind you this bitch is younger than I am, and with her being a director you’d think she’d know better than to flaunt her obvious riches in a low income people.

Well being new I just followed my boss and Fake Jackie and he drove us to the community center. Come to find out it wasn’t a meeting really but a celebration of local volunteers for AmeriCorp. We were in the heart of the poorest community in the city. People here live in government housing, or “the projects” and our director showed up in a Prada dress with her Michael Kors purse and Christian Louboutin red soled heels. My boss and I were in shocked and embarrassed that she was going to speak in the poorest neighborhoods in the city and showing off her obvious wealth. We stayed all through the presentation (45 mins of it) of her talking all about herself. Only ten minutes speaking and recognizing the volunteers. She’s younger than I am I can plainly see that, but she lacks any kind of empathy or a social skill set that is appropriate for whatever occasion comes up……I was appalled. My shock was obvious and on the drive back, my boss voiced his displeasure. The Fake Jackie chimed in saying that Fake Blanche loves attention, she has to be the center of everything the department does. I think we both collectively rolled our eyes and she continued to say that when Fake Blanche got there she had been demoted from her previous job at the city. We both laughed and he said it didn’t surprise him one bit. Anyway we get back to the office and he asks us to meet with him and Fake Jackie goes off and starts complaining about how the department works, how slow everything is, how she’s only there until she hits retirement age and then she’s gone.

To be fair my boss told me the same thing but that won’t be for another 7 years. Then she says how hypocritical everything is there. Which she adds this “I’m a civil servant, so I can’t get fired. But you two are contract employees and if you get on someones bad side, with a snap of their fingers your gone.” I looked at my boss and he looked at her and whispered “You know, I don’t know what your previous supervisor was like but don’t be telling the other new employees this when they start okay?” She looked surprised at his comment…..I mean seriously the bitch looked shocked. I was thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into? When she left, my boss called me into his cubicle and we had a long conversation about Fake Jackie. Very, very quietly of course and he reassured me that everything will be okay and not to listen to her. He also said “Look kid (yes he called me kid) I know your not making what you were at your other place of employment. But, just make it past your six months and you can apply for another position within the city that has a higher salary. I don’t really want to encourage you because your a smart cookie and I think you’d do a really good job here. But, I also know that one can only take so much bullshit before you’ve had enough.” I admired his honesty and took his advice and mulled it over a bit. I mean what else can I really do? I’m stuck here until I can see I like the job or keep applying for other positions outside the city. Which I have been doing since I found out what my salary was going to be.

Now I have to deal with Fake Jackie and Fake Blanche to boot? I told my boss that I’d stick it out until my six months or a better opportunity came my way outside the city. He sighed and said “I was afraid you’d say that but I completely understand. In the mean time, it looks and sounds like we’ll work great together. But can you please stay until you complete New Employee Orientation?” We laughed as we walked to the parking lot together, got in our cars and went our separate ways to work from home. This far this is only my first day…..FUCK MY LIFE.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A Ray Of Sunshine Plows Through The Concrete

I’m back to update on the update. On Thursday I had an appointment with the HR department from Hell to sign my paperwork and get my access badge. Not that I would need it to work from home but, low and behold I got this done. Then on Friday I had to drive to central El Paso to the Police Department Headquarters to get my fingerprints and a current mugshot personnel picture taken for my file. I had asked the incompetent HR girl a slew of questions about my department, whether or not I’d be getting a computer, when I’d be meeting my new colleagues, and of course a question about my new employee orientation. To which she smugly answered “Oh those questions need to be directed to your department’s direct HR person. Her name is Daisy.”

Daisy….I’m using her real name here because, hahahaha……..what are the fucking odds of her reading this?!?! I’ll get back to you on that later…..in any case she gave me “Daisy’s” direct line and when I got home I called but after three rings it went direct to her voicemail. And BELIEVE IT OR NOT it wouldn’t let me leave a goddamned voicemail. Of course not because up until now everything’s run so fucking smoothly (NOT) that why would I want any more red tape to choke my new job and start date. So I remembered she was on my virtual interview and retrieved her email from my email and then sent her a very long message and questions about literally EVERYTHING regarding my job. About an hour later I get a phone call from Daisy Ditzface to tell me that I have to contact my direct supervisor in order to get answers to my questions. She said she gave him my cell phone number and he should contact me shortly.

Yes, yes if your thinking I was pissed beyond pissed you are right. But then a miracle happened, when my new boss called me he reassured me with his soft as buttah voice. Yes he has that kind of voice that could talk to you all day and keep you as calm as ever. Anyway Bossman put my worries at ease telling me he only recently started that job as well. He’s only three months in and he worked at the University I worked at before I started at the University of Hell. We talked for over an hour, we laughed about things he noticed in my virtual interview like the gaming chair my son gave me to use as an office chair. The fact that he walked out on his previous job because of the hypocrisy and unprofessionalism (no I didn’t let him in on what I went through with Skeletor and Jabba the Hut) and he said that HR at the city is worse than waiting at the county hospital emergency room. You’ll die before they give you any information. Needless to say, we got along pretty well and he also mentioned that our department will be working remote for only a while longer and then we’d all have to go back to normal operations by the end of the summer. I told him I was good with that and I didn’t mind.

So, now I have an official start date for Monday, I’ll be meeting him and another of my coworkers in person. I’ll pick up my office computer, setting up my official work email and having a pow-wow with the other coworker to go over several things pending to be set up and reviewed. I can breath a sigh of relief finally about starting my new job. He also mentioned that Daisy Ditzface isn’t as helpful as she comes off to be and he doesn’t understand why every department has their own HR person instead of a general HR person? He said that the red tape there is unbelievably slow and that once I get started I will see for myself how to get around all of this.

A New Passion….Sort Of…

While the entire world was on lockdown I worked in person at the University of Hell. But since being let go back in October I did what people already in lockdown did. I baked or tried to learn how to bake so I baked bread, fruit tarts, cookies, muffins, biscuits and cake. CAKE people!!! I came across a recipe in a cookbook my mom gave me a while back. The Betty Crocker New Picture Cookbook, 1961 edition, second printing. This is one of my most treasured possessions because my mom is hard pressed to part with anything. As you can see it’s pretty well “loved” as I use to flip through the pages of this cookbook as a kid and wondered what salmon mousse, beef Wellington and Welsh Rarebit tasted like.

So, while coconut cake may not seem so special to anyone, I made some adjustments to the recipe in the book and made my own version of this, “When Harry Met Sally” style. Meaning I added a bit more shredded coconut a bit less sugar and some coconut extract to the cake batter. This made the cake moist and not too sweet, which is a good thing since I also learned how to make chocolate ganache as well to go with the cake, as Sally put it, “On the side.”

I’ve thus far made four coconut cakes (two in the last two weeks) because my boys loved it. Especially with the chocolate ganache on the side, and well lets face it I stress bake and eat when I’m……well stressed. Anyway that’s my new passion, I’m still trying to master Hollandaise Sauce which is a bitch to make and not wind up with scrambled eggs in butter. I’ve also been testing recipes from Joanna Gains Magnolia channel.

Magnolia Biscuits, oh so DELISH!

Her magnolia biscuits are a dream and so easy to make as well as holding up to a hearty sausage gravy too. I’ve made them every other Sunday when the boys come over, ugh why am I so addicted to FUCKING CARBS?!?! So this is my update on my update. Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Ranting and Raving About Frustration, Concrete and Boredom

Today will make three weeks since I was offered and accepted the position with the city. As of today I still have yet to finalize my on-boarding, sign any paperwork or hear back from the human resources people. I’ve emailed, called and emailed again over and over and still nothing even though I was given a start date of April 4th. The last call I was on the HR lady told me I should be receiving an email with some forms to fill out and send back regarding W-2, direct deposit and other information. Well as of today, NOTHING and I’m kind of getting a bit pissed off and not to mention antsy about this entire on-boarding process. The university of Hell didn’t take this long to get someone hired and in their role working. I have an appointment with HR on Thursday morning, I was told I had to make sure to send in those “forms” prior to my HR appointment. How the fuck can I do this when I can’t get anyone to call me the fuck back?? I need to get to work, I need a steady source of income because my fucking unemployment benefits have been consistently late since I filed my claim! This never-ending red tape is driving me completely mad. And I”m not using that metaphorically either, I’m going crazy constantly waiting for someone to get back to me about my benefits, my new job or whatever!!

Because I Needed An Outlet

Because I got to the point of epic frustration and not having any results or answers, I took to cleaning my back yard and prepping to plant some foliage, herbs and veggies. But after my fourth call to the HR department and voicemail I was so pissed off at not getting a response from anyone, I began to tear out the concrete that covers most of my back yard. First of all, I have an in-ground pool thats been filled in with dirt. Yes people I know what an abomination that is and that’s why I didn’t mention it when I first posted that I had bought my house. It’s filled in with dirt, rocks and paving stones similar to the ones I took out of the front of my yard. It’s downright damned ugly, and I wanted to hire someone to break up the concrete pool deck that surrounds the dirt pool. But after the frustration of not being able to get ahold of anyone to help me with my late unemployment or from the HR department at the city, I took a pick axe and pry bar to the concrete in my back yard myself. The only positive thing was the outlet of rage and feelings of stagnation and boredom I released by breaking something apart that is a complete eyesore. First of all I couldn’t believe how easy it was (or maybe it was the anger) to just take to the concrete and break it apart. Oh what am I saying? Who ever decided to put concrete in the back yard didn’t know what they were doing. They probably got some drunk uncle and cousins to come and do it on a couple of weekends because it’s completely half-assed. If it had been done properly I wouldn’t have had such an easy time breaking it apart. I’ll keep things posted on how my progress is going.

What the Fuck is Wrong with Will Smith?!?!?!

No, I didn’t see the Oscars because to me it’s a waste of time and energy to sit there and watch all these people with more money that I have pretend to have it hard. But I get notifications from the New York Times and I was already in bed when I saw that this had happened. First of all, Jada Pinkett-Smith is barely an actress let alone anyone someone should consider important. If anyones seen her Red Table Talks, she constantly talks about the “love of her life” Tupac Shakur. Yes, it’s not Will Smith people that’s for damned sure. She criticizes Smith for not knowing what she wants or needs. Now, this is why I was shocked at this and because I’m bored and have to bitch about something that’s not about my new job or unemployment benefits or how I haven’t been out of my house in almost a week and I’m going completely crazy being here with a snarky ass cat who has decided to take out everything that’ s in the cabinet under the sink for an entire week straight!!!! Anyway back to the Oscars debacle, violence in any shape or form should not be condoned especially if one who is held in such high standards as someone who is a public figure (sort of) or a respectable celebrity . If you can’t take the heat then maybe you should have reconsidered your profession. Jokes aimed at celebrities are par for the course and there is a high price to pay for fame. So, my opinion on the matter? I think that Will Smith should have his Oscar taken away, and banned from attending the Oscars or SAGs in the future. But then again another so called celebrity (Whoopi Goldberg) who I dare even call a celebrity, said that Governing Board of the Oscars wouldn’t take the award away from Will Smith. Well then what a way to teach him a lesson….don’t you think? Anyway this is my rant for this week.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Some People Just Boggle The Mind

As I wait for a solid start date from the City, I’m still trying to get a routine going because lets face it, right now it’s nothing but one day after another that seem to blur into each other. I”m trying to figure out how this entire working from home thing is going to work for me. Because I’ve been home for four and a half months and going totally fucking stir crazy here. But, I suppose that working from home is different than just “staying” home and watching hour upon hour of Fixer Upper while eating pint after pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Well….on with the show…

A few weeks back I had a friend that I hasn’t talk to or seen since I left the university I was at prior to the University of Hell. He was in the purchasing department and I working with him a lot when I was in the Department of Civil Engineering. I knew him for as long as I had been there and knew he had retired in 2015. He use to text me on holiday’s and stuff to wish me Merry Christmas or whatever and that was the end of that. A couple of weeks ago he texts me to say hi. I text him back to say likewise and that I hoped he was doing well. That seemed to open a floodgate of emotions for the dude and the next thing I know he calls me which I found weird because he’d never called me to talk before. I answer thinking it was just a friendly call since he knew I was out of work and stuff so we talked awhile (3 hours to be exact) because I guess he felt comfortable enough to tell me he was getting a divorce because his wife of 44 years cheated on him with a former high school classmate she reconnected with at a high school reunion.

So lets just say that I was his soundboard for those three hours of him telling me what happened and how long it happened and listening to him cry almost the whole time. I listened, gave some advice and then he said he felt better about letting it all out and we hung up. But afterwards I was completely drained emotionally. And not soon after we hung up his incessant text began, I was like what the fuck is going on here?!?! I would sometimes answer his texts and other times I’d ignore them but I kept thinking why the fuck is this guy sinking his emotional hooks into me?

Then I found my answer, he text me to see if I could look at his resume because a mutual friend of ours told him about a position at the University of Hell she thought he’d be a good fit for and he wanted to apply. I said yes not knowing just how much this emotional anchor was going to bother the fuck out of me for the last week or so. So he sent me his resume and cover letter and it was a fucking mess, I asked him if I could change some things and he said of course. So I did and sent them back to him and told him to apply as quickly as he could because the job postings at UOH only stay on for five days. He said he would, then literally half an hour later he calls me because he said he’s lost navigating the application portal…..FUCK MY LIFE!!!

So I walked him through it and he thanked me profusely and we hung up. Then the next day he text me that he wanted to take me to dinner and this was the last straw. After years of therapy with Teri I knew how to spot an emotional vampire ten miles away. I also knew that his not yet finalized divorce was playing a factor in all of this. Before I could respond to his dinner text he told me he was going to take me somewhere fancy and that I should (and I quote) “dress to the 9’s” That was it, I was done because I hadn’t seen this man in over eight years and he’s already acting like we’ve never lost touch.

I thought I’m not going to answer him because this situation is just too emotionally charged right now and I have to admit that someone that jumps the gun that way tends to set off my anger very easily. So I didn’t, then this morning I get a text from him telling me that he’s sorry about moving fast but that he’s alway thought I was attractive and that I speak my mind and “loved” that about me. He also said that he wanted to take me to dinner so he could ask if we “could date.” Before I go on I should mention that during his three hour emotional bitch-fest he told me he had ED (erectile dysfunction) not that there’s anything wrong with that but I should also mention that he’s 71 years old. Who say’s that to someone who you haven’t talked to in years?!?!?! It was TMI for sure but that’s not something you just throw out in a conversation with someone that isn’t and never has been close to you! I’ve always been attracted to older men, but my cut off is ten years older than me, he’s 71 and is just not what I am looking for because he wants to be taken care of, he wants to know someone is going to be there to take his ex-wives place, no thank you. And I’m also not looking for someone who still has feeling for his stupid ex-wife and is emotionally, mentally and physically insecure. He has no balls, no pun intended there but I could hear it in his voice and how he described his relationship with his ex to me. She dominated every aspect of his life and that’s a huge train wreck waiting to happen but not at this station!

I took all I had to text him (not call him) that this wasn’t a good idea and that I had been in therapy for years and recognized that he wanted to take me out and asked me to dress up for a reason. I told him that I knew he was going to take me somewhere that he and his ex frequented where people he knew would see us. And then report back to his ex about him being there with a much younger (not to mention totally stunning in every which way) woman so that this “news” would get back to her. There was text silence for almost four hours and he finally came clean, he asked me how I knew? I told him I had already been there after years of therapy and being on my own to figure out I deserved better. I also told him he needed to be alone and embrace his independence before he could date someone new or else he’d be bringing all his emotional baggage from his marriage breakdown into a new relationship with him. I told him that I thought it best if we didn’t keep in touch until he figured out how to love himself and be alone for a while. The response I got? “I can’t be alone, I don’t know how and I’m afraid to.”

Lets just say I didn’t answer and blocked him from my phone because I don’t need to be ANYONE’s consolation prize, and that’s where this was all headed. Not to mention he needs way more therapy than he thinks he does and I’m not sure if it will help in the long run either. He’s too use to being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. That’s not the kind of man I want or need in my life.

I’ll just let Sherrie sing about this….you go girl!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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End of The Week Update

Today marks the four and a half months since I have been out of work. This has been the longest that I’ve been unemployed ever and I was beginning to think that something or someone from my previous job was hindering my ability to get hired. Because honestly, I wouldn’t put it past those assholes I use to work with. Anyway I’ve painted rooms, rearranged furniture, cleaned out the garage and back yard storage, I’ve changed bedrooms three times. I’ve decluttered my kitchen counters, I’ve made several trips to the Goodwill and Savers to donate many, many items that I didn’t need. I’ve begun to run and do yoga once again since I hadn’t done so since I purchased my house. Okay about two months before that I stopped. I’ve made bread….lots and lots of bread, I began recipe testing recipes from the New York Times food section…..wait….well that explains why I’ve fucking gained 16 pounds since I stopped working.

I FOUND A JOB Y’ALL!!!! BUT WAIT THERE’S A CATCH

After months and months of applying and countless interviews I finally got a job offer yesterday!!! And then I was told how much I was being offered, and as I sat in my car while I listened to the HR lady for the City tell me exactly what I’d be making annually I almost cried. I think she sensed the shock and asked me again if I was going to accept the job offer. I reluctantly said yes, I had to because I’m on fucking unemployment. Here in Texas where everything seems bigger including the red tape of being on unemployment benefits if I didn’t accept the job offer my unemployment benefits would be suspended pending an appeal hearing as to why I turned down the job and that could take months. Yes ladies and gentlemen I’ll be making $13K less annually than my previous job. I got home and I was in tears, I kept thinking to myself that I feel like I’m constantly going backwards in my life. That I’ve been struggling for getting a head and when I finally get there I get kicked off the mountain by someone or something. I felt frustrated and angry, that I’m forced to accept a job that I actually wanted and thought I’d be able to negotiate my salary for didn’t pan out the way I expected.

So, my new job is with the City government and it’s in Sponsored Projects as my previous department that I was in before I quit to go work for Skeletor and Jabba The Hut in the President’s office. I called my son to let him know and he was exited and then I told him about that pay. He heard the disappointment in my voice and then began giving me a speech about all the pros and cons of this opportunity. He TOLD me to write down the pros and cons, which when I saw my list afterwards the only con was the pay. The pros included, 1) Health Insurance 2) I’m currently only getting $1800 of unemployment monthly so I’ll be making more than that…………and the kicker…….3) IT’S 100% REMOTE!!!

Which my son said that was a huge plus because gas prices are getting ridiculously high I won’t have to worry about wasting/buying gas to get to and from work. Not to mention having to go downtown where the city offices are and navigate trying to find parking. And of course no wear and tear on my beloved car, he also added that I could work in my PJ’s, with my hair up no make up unless there was a video meeting and all that stuff. He said it’s a blessing in disguise because saving on gas alone would make up the difference in pay in less than a couple of years. I also believe that the City provides the computers and printer I might need as well as a monthly stipend for my internet cost.

After the talk with my wise beyond his years but totally annoying when he’s right oldest son. I began to realize that he had made a lot of valid points about this job and the annual salary I’d be getting. He also told me that I need the job but I can keep looking for something that pays more in the mean time, again I hate to say it but he’s right. So after I hung up with my son, I felt better about accepting the job, again not that I had a choice. But it made the situation bearable to know I’ll be getting some liquid income and working from home is definitely a plus. Which I’m sure Charlie will ABSOLUTELY LOVE.

This is totally my snarky cat

*Charlie from another room*No hooman, no you need to get a job that you have to leave every morning and come back every afternoon so I can have some “me time.”

I need my “me” time hooman……

Yeah like that’s going to happen. Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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My Cat Ate My Wisteria

Its true, my cat who seems to think I only exist to serve him, ate my baby wisteria. Oh I’ve heard it from the boys…”Oh God mom he’s going to get sick” and “Why would he eat a house plant?” Well first of all I had to explain to them that a wisteria isn’t a house plant, that its a tree. In any case, I got this baby wisteria from my mom and it came in a bag from a nursery where she goes to buy her annual plants and stuff. Then my friend Impostor #3 told me I had to plant it in a pot for it to grow enough for me to be able to plant it outside somewhere. Now both of these woman have green thumbs, something I wasn’t born with. But then again both of these women are bat-shit crazy too so it makes me wonder if there’s a connection there somehow. And that maybe the fact that I wasn’t good with plants was a good thing.

This is what it looked like before my cat ate it. Now its just a bare twig.

Anyway, I’m thinking that Charlie is getting pretty tired of me being home all the time….

*Charlie from another room* -Hooman! I need more nip for my mouse, I can’t play nip mouse hockey without nip in the mouse!!!!

As I said I think he’s beginning to think I’m here purely for his pleasure and to serve his every whim. The fact that he’s also gaining a bit of weight seems to be another indication that I may be a bit to attentive with his feeding.

This is what Charlie would look like if he was a cartoon…..and just as fat.

But the fact that I came home from being out and about last week to find my baby wisteria completely devoid of leaves lead me to believe his furry fat ass had something to do with it. Then, just as it began to grow again….BAM!! It was gone again, I mean who or what else could it be?

On The Job Hunt…..Still

I’m still job hunting and haven’t yet found anything. I haven’t had any interviews since the Excel interview question debacle, which still bothers me to be honest. But I’m still here plugging away and applying for every job that I know I’m qualified for. I’m still waiting to see if any employer is willing to take a chance on me so that they can find I’m a great employee. Ugh, I sound like a commercial….but oh well I have to sell myself or else I’ll really have to resort to selling myself (pun intended here.) I know I should be posting more often but I’m trying to find a routine that has failed to materialize since I stopped working. I find that I can’t do something and stick with it because either I lose interest or I find it mundane. I just began to start running again and doing yoga, which seems to be some sort of entertainment and interactive sport for Charlie.

It’s totally like this

Random Valentine’s Day Text

Yeah me too….

On Valentine’s Day I received a random text from all people, my ex-realtor. I was knee deep in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia when my phone went off and I got the text below. Needless to say, I didn’t respond, why you ask?

Because why would the jerk text me on all day’s, seriously I never got a Happy Thanksgiving text, or Merry Christmas text or a Happy New Year’s text. So why in the FUCK would he send me a damned text on Valentine’s Day?!?!?!?!

Okay well this was my short and maybe not so sweet post. Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A Series of What the F**ks

I’ve encountered a couple of situations where Ive found myself, literally saying, WHAT THE FUCK?!? I thought this would be a change to the comedic side of life because well, we could all use a laugh or two. You know to bring some sort of positive glimmers of civility in this barbaric slaughterhouse known as humanity, especially due to the pandemic.

I’ve been “house sitting” for my oldest, if you all remember we bought our homes around the same time last year. So he’s had a series of issues that needed someone to be at home to have solar panels installed, the water heater fixed and oh yes, the second 65″ television that was delivered when the first one had been cancelled. It’s not been fun house sitting, I’m there with my grand cat Zeus, and he’s just a teenager so he has a lot of energy.

This is Zeus….isn’t he adorbs?!?

So the last couple of times I house sat, I hung curtains in my sons house because well, he’s a man and lives a minimalist lifestyle. Which is mom code for he’s too lazy to think about shit like that. Anyway, he asked me to house sit the first time and I hesitated and then he said “Come on mom, what else do you have to do?” As much as I hated to admit it, the mofo was right….ugh. On with the show.

Spandex/Yoga Pants….It’s a Privilege NOT A RIGHT!!!

Yes white woman who drives a red Dodge SUV at Albertsons!!! I’m talking to your fat butt, if you can see crotch hair in the mirror, don’t fucking put it on!!!!!! She was walking the aisles at Albertsons like she was circa 1980’s Christie Brinkley and thinking she was hot as fuck. But that wasn’t why people were staring, it was the light pink yoga pants and your lack of underwear that everyone was looking at you space cadet. Seriously what the fuck!?!?!

Roundabouts El Pasoans, Learn How to USE THEM Assholes!!!!

I’m talking to every fucking Audi, Mercedes, Accura, Lexus driving (oh yeah that one bitch in the silver Chevy Tahoe too) asshole who uses the roundabout at Edegemere and Rich Beem. Its a fucking roundabout you use it like YIELD signs you pompous over paid pricks!! Your supposed yield and let someone else take a turn to get where their going. If you don’t know how to use one, YOUTUBE IT IMBECILES!! But then again I have no idea why TXDOT just doesn’t put up street lights, because people on the far east side of Hell Paso will never learn how to use roundabouts, like EVER!

Okay Boomer……….Your Saying It Wrong.

I was at Target last week and saw a women not much older than myself with a snarky teenager in tow. To which the little bitch would respond to her mothers questions of “Do you want oranges or mandarins? With “Okay Boomer” and the woman seemed to be frustrated enough with shit going on in her head that she’d ignore this snarky little, prissy ass bitch. Now just to be clear, the phrase “Okay Boomer” was said to a specific person who was actually a Baby Boomer. A baby boomer are indicators of people who were born between 1946 and 1964. I was frustrated with just listening to her daughter who didn’t look up from her fucking phone once while they walked the isles of the store. After the fifteenth hundred “Okay Boomer” I finally stopped and asked her mom, “does she know what that means?” Her mom looked at her and then at me and laughed, and replied “Nope, she sure doesn’t.” Thats when the little bitch looked up from her phone and told her mom she didn’t like her making fun of her in front of strangers. I said “Aww, seriously? Oh poor little you” and finished with “Okay fetus” and her mom put her hand in the air and we high-fived each other as we passed our way towards opposite sides of the store. I could feel that snarky little bitches eyes trying to burn a hole through my back but, I’m one of the original queens of snark, so I was unfazed but her feeble, amateur attempts.

How In The Fuck Was I Suppose To Know This?!?!?!

So I had a virtual interview for a job I’d kill to get with the County. I had a panel of three people on it and two of them were smug as fuck. One of them I could tell wasn’t paying attention to my responses, because the fucker looked totally lost when it was his turn to ask me his three questions. One of which was this:

In an Excel spreadsheet with multiple years of income on it, how would you create a rule for which to filter out the income for a certain year, with only the months of March and August?

I’m sure my response will get me a “fail” on my interview because it’s a PASS/FAIL on whether candidates will go onto the next round. My response was….”If I was to be allowed to have an Excel sheet open while I interview, I’m sure I’d be able to give you a reasonable answer but since I can’t recall this action from a random question I’m going to have to give my answer as I don’t know.” Seriously pompous County Fiscal Budget asshole manager, who in their right mind could recall that kind of information especially during a job interview?!?! Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Oh well, live and learn I suppose.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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When Your Parent’s Dream Becomes Your Nightmare

Picture it, San Bernardino California 1971 a Texas couple are contemplating returning to the Lone Star State after two years in the smoggy, over populated county. Where bumper to bumper traffic was a daily ritual and breathing in pollution while hanging laundry out to dry was par for the course. This couple made the decision to return to Texas and………..make the biggest mistake of their lives!!! No, not returning to Texas but the decision to build their home on land that, by a stupid verbal agreement has tied them to this Titanic sized anchor to date.

My parents in California one year before I was born

My childhood home still stands, it’s getting older just like its inhabitants and just about as run down. My parents house sits on a 1/4 acre of land that was once part of a three acre cotton gin, which the main office, turned into a house back in 1959 still stands. This was my paternal grandparents home, a small two bedroom, one bath home that housed a family of seven. It’s still there on the shared acreage of what was once a huge cotton gin. This “house” was rented by my grandparents from the soon to be former owner of the cotton gin where my grandfather worked for many years. One day my grandfather was approached by the owner letting him know that he was going to sell the three acres and asked if he was interested. He said it he was going to sell it for $3000, and I’m sure back in 1964 this was a shit ton of money. My grandfather had a pow-wow with my granny and they decided to try and come up with the money to buy the land. Well, my dad’s oldest half-sister who was a complete and utter bitch and his full sister my darling aunt his full blooded sister worked for a doctor in town. Both of them nurses, both of them bringing in more income than my grandfather and dad combined. So, the half- bitch sister and my aunt decided to approach the doctor, Dr. Delgado for a loan. Since both of them were trusted and dependable employees of Dr. Delgado he said yes and there is when this nightmare of a situation began.

My wonderful Aunt Nettie, wedding picture

Both my Aunt Nettie and her bitch half sister borrowed the money, but to repay the good and generous doctor all of the family chipped in to pay off the $3000 loan. Including my dad and his younger brother who worked as a box boy at one of the grocery stores nine miles away. My granny was a wonderful woman who dressed up as Santa Clause for Christmas.

Granny and me Christmas 1972

She made homemade tortillas every single day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She had a garden so beautiful I remember just walking around and getting lost in all the flowers and plants. She made Cafe De La Olla or coffee in a clay pot with cinnamon and orange peel and it was delicious especially during the holidays. She smelled like Dove soap and her hair was as white as snow and she was beloved by everyone. BUT she did have a mean streak (now I know where I get that from) but I won’t mention that. When my parents came back from California back in 1971, I was but two years old and they moved in with my grandparents until they found a place to live. My sweet, sweet misguided grandmother began to talk my dad into building their home on the land she was sure would be all of theirs since they all pitched in to buy.

But, even though the entire family repaid Dr. Delgado, the name on the actual deed was that of my bitch half-blooded, cloven hoofed, forked tonged, speared tailed aunt. This fact wasn’t revealed until after my granny had passed away in 1973. The land is still considered commercial and is still to this day taxed that way. Which means that my parent’s pay commercial land tax on a residential property and since it’s never been rezoned to residential, my parent’s can’t claim any tax exemptions for their age or income because technically the land is still vacant, commercial and under asshole cousins living Oklahoma.

Back in 1981 when my grandfather passed away my bitch devil half aunt told my parents they could continue to live on the property as long as they paid the property tax. Which really wasn’t fair because my parent’s home only takes up 1/4 of an acre. The rest of the land? Oh did I not mention that the half bastard son of my dear, wonderful granny lived on the other side with his automotive repair shop taking up more than half of the land as well? But my parents and my dad’s half bastard brother had to split the property taxes right down the middle each and every fucking year. When my bitch, forked tongued aunt finally kicked the bucket in 1996 the property passed onto to her inbred, red-neck, sister porking, toothless moonshine swigging, trailer trash kids in Oklahoma. Yes people I have red-neck cousins but I don’t acknowledge them in any way. This is because my demon spawn aunt denied that my dad and his two legitimate siblings (all my grandfathers children) were not related to her. She maintained this until the day she croaked the fucking bitch, as did my dad’s older half bastard brother, which now that I think about it, my grandfather raised these two ingrates and they still thought they were superior to my dad and his brother and sister. Anyway, so when the land passed on to the red-neck side of the family, they continued their “verbal” agreement with my parents even though my parent’s tired in vain for years to buy the land that their house sits on to no avail.

After all of this family drama the only one I really blame is my dad, why you ask? Well, he’s still to this day a fucking mama’s boy. The man is 83 years old and because of his unwillingness to move away from his mother he made the decision to stay and create this entire nightmare of a situation. Back in 1976 my parents began to look at a subdivision of new homes being built less than half a mile away from my grandfather’s house. It was the very same floor plan as my parent’s home only about 105 square feet bigger with a garage no less all for the whooping price of…….$67,000.00!!! My dad said no because he’d built the house they lived in with his own two hands……I COULD FUCKING KILL HIM FOR THIS STUPID DECISION!!! Not only would they have already paid of the other house, but the could be living with tax exemptions and maybe a reverse mortgage to help them get by. Because God knows I don’t want that house and my brother needs to be responsible for himself sometime before the motherfucker turns 70 years old. Not to mention that when I was living with my parent’s I helped them with the property taxes, which my mother says I didn’t but what the fuck does she know? She can’t even remember where she went yesterday and I have receipts for proof.

But no, my dad the epitome of a mama’s boy is still there, stuck in a fucking situation that I can’t even help out in because any communication with my idiot family in Oklahoma causes me to breakout in a damned rash. My dad’s bastard half brother died back in 2009 and his whore of a widow who’s shacked up with some dude my parent’s don’t recognize still demands half the taxes. She was 27 years younger than my uncle who didn’t marry her until he was 54, the bitch is 11 years older than I am but looks like she’s 85. She married him for his military disability and thought he had money, boy was the bitch surprised when she found out he wasn’t.

So….this is the story of how my parent’s own their home but not the land that it’s situated on. The nightmare will only get worse when they are no longer around. Because I’ll be the one to try and demolish and salvage what I can from my childhood home so that when my parent’s are no longer here, the land will go back to the inbred red-neck cousins in Oklahoma the way it was back in 1971. No house, no dad’s workshop nothing, just land that where once stood an old cotton gin, silent and alone.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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The Hangover Continues

We’re headed into the third week of the new year and it seems a lot of us are still dealing with the hangover that was 2020 and 2021. Negativity seems to be par for the course when I watch the news or read an article about what’s happening lately regarding COVID-19. How much stupidity can we endure having to deal with people who actually think COVID is a mind control technique the government is using to control its citizens? Yes that was something some idiot Joe Schmo said on the local news last night and I seriously had to contemplate the intelligence of some of the human race. IF the government was going to control it’s citizens I’m sure it would be using something a bit more covert, for instance if it wanted to do with with said Joe Schmo, it would use beer. Because that’s what this asshole on local t.v looked like he’d been swigging before he got pulled into the “on the street” interview. Which oddly enough includes my anti-vaxxer brother, but that’s an entirely different post.

For fucksake people, start using your brain and do your own research instead of believing what you see and hear on fucking Facebook and Instagram!!!! But as one of my cousins said a while back, intelligence isn’t something that Orange Asshole or his followers are known for. I agree, because anyone who believes that they don’t have to have vaccines to protect themselves or those around them from a virus that has killed millions all around the world, are certainly lacking in not only intelligence but education as well. Ok that’s enough of my soap box rant on to our show!

My Cat Won’t Eat Fancy Cat Food…..But Loves Raspberry PopTarts and Ice Cream

Tis true I tell you. I bought this mofo some of that fancy schmancy cat food, FreshPet and the fucker won’t eat it!!! I did it to break the monotony of him having just dry food. But, he just looked at it and looked at me and then walked away. So I left it there for a couple of hours and Charlie came back over and over again to just smell it and walk away. But the mofo does like Raspberry Pop-tarts and vanilla ice cream.

Cat eats Pop-Tart

Cat eats Ice Cream

Which I don’t feed him I just give him a taste, well the pop-tart I caught him eating mine when I got up to get my coffee. The ice cream, well cat like milk and ice cream is frozen milk sort of, but I don’t give Charlie much milk either since his vet said it causes stomach issues and gas. So no thank you, I couldn’t believe it, so what did I do with the fancy cat food? I gave said fancy cat food to Snowball, a beautiful white cat that belongs to one of my neighbors in back of where I live. She loved it, and she’s such a pretty can too, all white, clean and fluffy with her girly pink collar with her pet GPS tracker on her. I tried to get a picture of her but to no avail, she ate, washed herself and leapt over the back yard fence before I could snap a quick pic of her.

Still Looking and Still Waiting for a Job Offer

Yes I’m still applying and still waiting to see if any employer out there is going to take a chance on me and offer me a job. I’ve counted all the applications I’ve put in since October and I’m up to about 72 applications and out of all of those I’ve probably gotten 18 “thanks but no thanks” emails. So I’m still here plugging away at making as many applications as possible. Meanwhile trying not to get too discouraged and finding something productive to do here at home. With not much money there’s only so much I can do here. I’m trying to save up to buy more paint to maybe paint the two other rooms I have left. Or just get out of the house because I’ve gone weeks without leaving because I can’t afford to drive around too much and save gas in case I get an interview. And save up to buy food for the week. But also hoping I find something before my unemployment benefits end, so I’m trying to focus on the positive, which lets face it as of now, 2022 is still lacking but hopefully it will turn around……hopefully. I say that in the least sarcastic way possible…..or do I?

I’ve Let My Blog Reading Slide

In addition to not having much energy to do stuff around the house, I’ve found I haven’t read up on all the blogs I follow. I suppose I should be posting stuff daily since I haven’t got much else to do at the moment. But I’ve also realized I’m lacking energy and motivation. This is new to me and I’m not sure what I need to do when it comes to these feelings I’m not familiar with. So please bear with me until I find my motivation back.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Happy 2022!! I Think…

Just writing to wish everyone a very Happy New Year. Lets hope and pray that things will be much better than 2021 and 2020. I have to be optimistic because I’m tired of baking bread, cleaning and rearranging my house. Getting up early to just go back to bed two hours later, going out side to completely destroy a very badly poured concrete over a mish-mash of different paving stones that one of the previous owners decided the front yard absolutely needed. Which by the way IT MOST DEFINITELY DID FUCKING NOT!!!!

Before…..

Yes, I took this project on this past week because I needed something to do other than binge watch Bridgerton and Dr. Who. I walked out one morning to go get my mail and realized that this part of my front yard was down right ugly. I made my way around this….paving stone concrete monstrosity a couple of times and decided, this is one motherfucking ugly………thing.

After

Whatever it was or who ever thought they needed it, I surely didn’t. So I went to the garage and found my trusty pry bar (don’t ask) and went to town on this piece of cement/paving stone yuck. Lucky for me who ever pour this concrete mixture over these horrendous paving stones didn’t do a good enough job. Because I was able to pry each and every piece of them out of place and toss the badly mixed, so called concrete to one side. Now I have an overabundance of different paving stones and no idea what to do with them. Not to mention that I won’t be moving them to the back yard anytime soon since my back and legs are sore from undertaking this little project. Maybe next week or something.

Just one of many projects I find myself doing since I’m still unemployed and hoping that 2022 bring with it much love, joy prosperity but most importantly……a much needed job!

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! Well see you in the time space continuum that is 2022!!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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“Life Is A Series of Train-wrecks With Only Brief, Commercial-Like Breaks of Happiness” – Deadpool

So my job hunting journey continues, not that I’ve heard anything because several people have told me (including those at the “commission”) that the holiday’s are the absolute worst time to be unemployed. Okay, I agree but that doesn’t mean I hope and pray something comes up soon because I’m going stir crazy at home and I think my cat is starting to plot against me. In any case I’ve tried as best I could to tidy up my house and when I’m done I start all over again. I’ve purged and purged junk, stuff, things and given them to the Goodwill and Savers. I’ve put up my Christmas tree or tried at least because my cat had never cared too much about the tree in our previous house. Now sees it as his personal play thing, he punches ornaments, he chews on the artificial branches that some are almost bare. He sneaks under and tries to climb that damned thing…..HE TRIES CLIMBING MY 9 FOOT ARTIFICIAL TREE THAT MOFO!!!!

Train Wreck #1

For the first month I tried to stay positive but that was when I was getting a couple of job interviews. Since then things have dried up and I’m submitting applications every day. Then I sit and watch television because I’ve cleaned my yard, cleaned my garage and organized and re-organized everything I can. Then the preverbal and dreaded other shoe (namely ‘doom’) dropped. I got a letter in the mail from the local mortgage company I had initially worked with letting me know I still owed them the mortgage payment for August. When in fact I had called TWICE to ask why the payment hadn’t been drafted from my account AND asking when it would? When I called I talked to the same lady who I spoke to on Monday. She had told me back in August that my mortgage had been sold (shocker there) to a servicer from out of state and that I would make my first payment with them. This was after TWO phone calls to the local mortgage company, well I spoke to her on Monday and told her she’s the one who told me that I didn’t have to pay them because my mortgage had been sold. She denied it was her and lucky for me I kept all my notes and had written her name down, the date and time of my initial contact with them. She kept denying it and I lost it, I went ballistic and told her that I would NEVER SKIP A MORTGAGE PAYMENT, EVER!

So no in addition to my payment with my new servicer, I have to pay the August payment to this asshole mortgage company as well. Ha! Go figure that things could go from bad to worse, I mean seriously. Although I told this dumb bitch that there was no way I could make this payment in its entirety because I let her know I was unemployed. She agreed to have my pay in payments but what else could she do? I threatened to contact the Big Cheese for this local asshole mortgage company and let him know what I was told. I’m pretty sure it was her that told me this, but then realized she make a mistake and had to back track to cover her ass.

Train Wreck #2

My youngest son who had started the Fire Tech academy was struggling. He began strong but somehow he was derailed by, of all people, his fucking classmates. He was the first one to class in the first day of the semester, so his instructor named him class leader. This meant he was in charge of the entire class, texting them what they needed to know about test times. Getting them prepared for skills tests out in the field, etc. They were suppose to be a team, but it seemed that he was helping everyone else prepare but no one was helping him. He started to develop anxiety, he fucking lost 37 lbs because he wasn’t eating. He would go to work at 7am, leave work at 4pm to be at school by 6pm. He’d get out at 10pm and go straight to bed to do it all over again the next day. He went to school Monday through Thursday from 6 to 10pm and then again all day Saturday until 5pm. It’s no wonder he got the flu. Yes, he got the flu and was diagnosed with exhaustion and fatigue. He’d tell me he would go talk to his Captain that was in charge, about his so-called “team” not helping him out when he needed them to. All the while he gave all of himself to his fucking teammates, those ungrateful bastards.

As his mother I was furious because I could see how tired he was physically, mentally and emotionally. But he kept on, determined not to quit. Then he fell ill and his Saturday instructor asked him to go get tested for COVID. Which he did, and he came back negative but his doctor told him he had the flu and had to stay home for the rest of the week. This was the final week of this semester and he had to make up two written exams, two skills exams and the final. It would be impossible, so with a heavy heart he had to let his instructor know he could not return to complete the semester. He is to say the least, devastated as am I because he thinks he disappointed me. Which he could never do, my boys have made me so proud. They are good, hard working, honest men who are good hearted and will help someone in need if they can. My son stayed with me when he came back from the doctors office so I could care for him, with tears in his eyes he completely broke down. I cried along with him because you think that once you kids are out of dreaded high school the bullying stops. The alienation and exclusion comes to a screeching halt because they are adults. My baby turned 27 on December 1st and we tried to celebrate his birthday the way we always do. But he told us he didn’t feel like it, and that’s when I knew it was more than just the flu. He’s still recovering and will return to work on Monday. He will retake these courses again in the Fall of 2022 because that’s when the next cycle is open.

He says he’s okay with that, that he doesn’t mind having to go through all of this again because he’s bound and determined to finish the courses needed to graduate and become a firefighter. On a more positive note, his crew at work offered to go to his college (and I quote) kick some snotty-wannabe firefighter ass (namely his classmates.) His crew consists of two Marines (once a Marine, always a Marine) two former construction workers, who I think together weigh about six-hundred pounds, one former amateur MMA fighter, and another student at the Fire Tech academy (but in another cohort and on the second cycle) and a former football player that played for the university when he was an undergrad who is going for his Masters in Kinesiology. This particular person said he knows how to cast bones, which when divulging this information seemed ominous but then practical at the same time. It’s funny that they all wanted to go to one university to another to threaten the asshole mofo’s who treated my son so bad. Funny because I knew they meant it.

It makes me feel better that his coworkers, his crew, look out for my son in ways that every mother wants to know her children are cared for. Yes he’s 27 years old, but he’s still my son and my heart hurt so much for him and I’d cry when he’d go to sleep just knowing that such a good hearted boy was excluded because his fucking classmates thought he didn’t need the help. But, he’s a fighter and he’ll get to fulfill his dream of becoming a firefighter one day. As he put it “even if I’m the oldest rookie on the squad, at least I know I didn’t give up or quit.” But for now he’s recovering from the flu which hit him hard. And he’s also resting so he can recuperate both physically and mentally from this horrible ordeal. Working full time and going to school full time is hard, I did it and it takes a toll on you but I know he’ll come back to do this again and succeed. I’ve tried to make him feel loved and cared for this week, I’ve made him homemade chicken soup to heal his body, I’ve held him in my arms to help him heal his heart, I’ve prayed for my dear son to help heal his soul. I know he feels let down because the whole class was told they were to be a team and start with the mentality that no firefighter is left behind. Well those asshole bastards failed and I hope they fucking know it when they don’t have my son there to help them. Yes I’m pissed as fuck because no one deserves to be treated like this, especially if they help everyone else.

Train Wreck #3

Okay it may not be a wreck per say, but it’s just something that bothers me because its so fucking unrealistic. The dreaded Hallmark Channel…..yes ladies and gents the channel with all the sappy, sticky sweet as Robitussin Cough medicine and just as hard to swallow holiday broadcasting. During this time of year they have made for T.V movies for Christmas about two lost people who over the Christmas holiday discover they are a perfect match. Or two people who vehemently hate each other and over the planning of a Christmas pageant they find they actually are in love. Or there are two people in the midst of a divorce and work together to plan a Christmas parade and find that, low and behold they still love each other!!! I’m like so fucking sick of these unrealistic movies!! It’s nauseating and mind you there are more than just one Hallmark Channel. And because of the cable package I have, I’m stuck with all four of them!! Even if I’d want to watch this broadcast cavity fest, I don’t recognize any of these actors. I did however think that Haley Joel Osment was one of them, but it turns out it’s his sister *Insert dramatic eye roll here.*

If it were realistic it would feature two people who are married tried to make ends meet so they can buy their kids presents for Christmas all the while dealing with the in-laws and their constant butting in. Or a single dad trying to get home for Christmas to see his kids because he’s an over the road truck driver, you know real life shit. The majority of these Hallmark Channel “couples” are white, middle or upper class and again….unrealistic. I’m not bashing any race here I’m stating a fact about these weird ass made for T.V movies. As Chris Rock once said, it’s only the wealthy like the people that own Similac or the color blue (referring to the color Tiffany Blue) that are portrayed this way at least on the Hallmark Channel anyway.

Train Wreck #4

Speaking of white middle class type of broadcasting, let me comment on what use to be one of my favorite films to watch during the holidays, Meet Me In St. Louis with Judy Garland. I loved this film, yes I say loved because I sat down to watch it yesterday and then noticed that it’s a weird ass movie. I mean it’s a classic yes, but some of the storylines are really…inappropriate. Okay so this film was made in 1944 but set in 1903 a year before the World’s Fair is set to open in St. Louis Missouri. Judy Garland’s character is perfect, so is her sister Rose. But for the life of me her two little sisters are horrible!! One is name is Agnes (that should tip you off right there) and the other Tootie. Who is a horrible little bitch if I do say so myself. She buries her dolls in her back yard calling it the cemetery and when she gets a new one, she plays with it for a couple of weeks and then decides it has to die. Then she holds a funeral for it…..can anyone say “PYCHO?”

Or lets talk about Agnes when she threatens the help, Katie by telling her that if Katie hurt her cat, she’s going to stab her to death a million times and the have her drawn and quartered and pulled apart by horses. Of course it doesn’t help that Katie tells Agnes (jokingly) that “The cat got in her way walking down to the cellar and kicked it and heard the cats spine hit every step.” I mean who wrote the fucking psychopathic script for these characters, seriously?! Then the psycho sisters go out on Halloween and decide to put a mannequin on the trolly track to watch the trolly overturn with passengers on it!!! When they actually try to do this their neighbor, John Truitt sees the police and grabs them to hide them away so they won’t get caught. The that horrible little bitch Tootie blames him for the cuts and bruises she got being well, the little bitch she was being. After the Halloween scene I stopped watching it, this use to be on my watch list every year along with Trading Places, Scrooged, Nothing Like The Holidays, Love Actually, Die Hard (yes it’s a Christmas movie as my friend Christopher confirmed), A Christmas Story and White Christmas. But I’m taking Meet Me In St. Louis out of that rotation due to those two little psycho bitches who make it just fucking creepy.

Praying For Guidance

Because my optimism and patience is running thin, I pray for guidance, patience and optimism. I’m not religious, I’m spiritual and I believe in God. Although I know that may come as a shock to many of you since I know I can come off as abrasive, a bit bossy and who cusses like a sailor. But I still believe that God is taking care of me and my boys. So I pray, and I’m thankful for what I have even with my current situation. But it seems the more I pray the harder things become and so I’m like “okay Lord I know, I need to chill out but I’m getting a bit worried here.” In any case I’m trying but to be honest it sucks big, fat monkey balls not having a job during the holidays. I’m cutting corners like you can’t believe. Cutting coupons, buying store brands, being extra frugal with what money I have and trying to accept that this too shall pass.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Happy Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving Eve y’all and yes that’s a thing. I hope you are doing well and staying safe and most importantly I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving holiday. As I sit here in the cool 60 degree Weds morning (okay I’m not outside, I’m just stating that this is the weather today) with clouds sauntering by spreading their cheer (which means it’s fucking sprinkling) preparing for tomorrow. I have my composition book/handwritten cookbook open to begin preparations for things I can make a day ahead, like pumpkin cheesecake, chocolate pie, homemade cranberry sauce and sweet-potato casserole. Also doing the pre-chopping of many of the veggies I’m going to need for tomorrow, this way I’m not rushing like I remember my mom doing on Thanksgiving day. This will be my inaugural Thanksgiving holiday in my new house, okay I know it’s not new but y’all get the picture. It’s been cooling down here in my corner of Texas and I’ve yet to have the AC shut down and the heater turned on. Why you ask? Well, the dude that turned on my AC can’t make it to my house until next week which is fine by me because it’s not that cold inside as it is outside.

Waiting……Still

As I write this I am still waiting to hear anything regarding past interviews I’ve had and it’s been three week since my last interview. I haven’t gotten called for any new ones but several of my friends have assured me that it’s due to the holiday season creeping up on us. I sure hope so because even though I’m not worried, I’m beginning to get a bit anxious about staying home. I need to find a routine because I still haven’t as each day is not the same for me. Sometimes I sleep late and other days I don’t, I manage to do stuff around that house but other times I just lay about watching hours of television. I told myself I was going to start running again but this time outdoors as I have a park three blocks away from my house and it has a running track. But alas, I still drive by only telling myself I’m going to do it. Speaking of blocks, I found out to my dismay that my former idiot, cheap ass Filipina bitch landlord lives only five blocks from me! Fucking bitch, I had no idea my house was so close to hers or else I might have passed on buying it. Okay that’s not true, I loved this house when I saw it so I would have bought it either way, I am being dramatic (like I’ve never done that before.)

Unemployment Hiccup Resolved

Seriously I was on hold for an hour and ten minutes just to talk to someone

When I applied for unemployment I was told that they would be taking out the amount I “owed” them for an overpayment back form 2001 from the current benefits. Because of this my first week was short by about $280. But that’s okay because that means I no longer have a state hold in case I win the lottery (yeah like that will ever happen) or have to submit a travel reimbursement if I ever work for the state again. Cheesus crust the State of Texas is a pain in the ass to deal with. The bureaucracy works in their favor for anything, I’d been fighting that stupid overpayment for six years now. Appeal after motherfucking appeal, submitting proof that I didn’t turn down a job, trying to prove that I was offered two jobs and naturally took the higher paying one. But try to tell the TWC that, in their eyes I turned down a job PERIOD! Asshat motherfucking pricks.

Job Opportunities

I don’t think so

Dealing with the third party employment agency that one is forced to register with because the “commission” tells you that in order to receive unemployment benefits its mandatory. So register I did, I created my profile so they could “help” me find a job that’s best suited to my education and experience. After almost a month I haven’t found anything that I’m even remotely interested in that they’ve sent my way. And then getting an email from one of the placement counselors telling me that maybe I need to settle for something less. So, this is what she thinks is less, s he thinks I should take a data entry position for a company called ADP. Or take a position as an admin assistant so that I can get my “foot in the door” to which I responded, I don’t fucking think so. Okay I didn’t quite put it like that, I was polite in telling her that I’ve worked really hard for my education and experience to start at the bottom once again. And at my age, I can’t afford to take a job that would literally pay me half of what I was making before. She then very nicely said that by week 12 if I still don’t have a job I need to reduce my salary expectations by 25%. I’m hoping I won’t have to but this is what I’m facing right now and well, lets face it I may have to “settle” if things don’t improve for me by January.

On that note, I’m going to leave you with this.

I think of myself as the bird that flies upside-down, but thats me, this is who I am.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Shout Out to A Couple of Blogger Buddies and One Non-Blogger Friend and Other Rants from The Huntress

This is officially my third week of unemployment, which has me sleeping later than usual and doing stuff around my house at my own pace. That is unless my cat, who has taken on an alias (don’t ask me why?) wants to be called Pattso Gregorovich. He has demanded that I call him by this name, and does so in a Russian accent. To which I quickly responded “hell to the no I”m not calling you Pattso Gregorovich, your name is Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan!” He sat down on his fat butt to explain that Scottish cats don’t really do anything interesting and Sasha said he should change his name to be able to lead a more exciting feline life.

A couple of cat punches and arm scratches later, I reaffirmed the fact that I’m the one that buys his food and cat litter so I refuse to call him Pattso, which I quickly reminded him rhymes with fattso. Let’s just say, Pattso was not impressed. When he said he was taking lessons from a Russian Blue feline named Sasha, I scoffed at him and thats when he tried to grab my phone.

He’s mad because I refuse to him by his Russian name

Okay back to the program, in any case I’ve been applying every single day and today was the first day I’ve claimed unemployment benefits. Or should I say, I filed for my first unemployment benefits to be paid out to me. I’ll be deducted about $65 dollars from each payment seeing as I “owe” this fucking “commission” over payment for a supposed job I turned down back in 2002. Which is complete bullshit because I took a better paying job over another but try explaining that to the “commission.”

On Friday October 22nd was officially my last day at that horrible place. That day I endured a day of no one talking to me, I was in my former office the majority of the day making applications online. I had closed the door to my office not really talking to anyone, because no one talked to me so why was I going to make the effort to talk to assholes who were ignoring me? I wanted the day to go by fast but that wasn’t the case, it seemed that the more I wanted to leave the slower that day went by. They had boxed lunches brought in for everyone and I had a knock on my door and Impostor #1 asked me if I wanted lunch. I said no because I had plans to go eat lunch with Cupcake that day. So I closed the door to my office and watched three movies that day on my iPad, Hackers, Down With Love and The Other Boleyn Girl. So 4:30pm came around, I grabbed what was left of my belongings and started to walk out of the office. Then I heard that fat ass bitch get up from her chair and follow me down the hall. She called out “Huntress, are you leaving already?” as I turned around I sighed loudly and said “Why yes FS, I am leaving, why do you ask?” and she said “well it’s not 5 o’clock yet.” And I laughed out hysterically and as I held my purse in one hand and my bag of stuff in the other and responded with “Oh…FS, I don’t give a fuck what time it is, I won’t be here on Monday and I don’t care what you say or think” and turned right back around and walked out of that

My Avon Lady Is A Saint

I wanted to give a heartfelt shout out to my blogger friend Heather, of Hopelessly Heather who also happens to be my official Avon lady as well. When I got home on what was my official last day, I went to my mailbox to find a package from Heather. I thought to myself I didn’t order any Avon did I? I got inside and changed, washed my face of makeup, and put on my comfy shorts and tank-top and went to the kitchen to open what Heather had sent. Inside I found a care package and a card from Heather telling me that she sent me this care package so that I can take care of myself because of all the professional bullshit I’d been going through the last two months. I stood there holding my card, looking through all the wonderful things she’d sent me (all Avon of course because she knows my love of everything Avon!) with tears rolling down my face. Which soon turned to loud sobs because my last day in the horrible place, not once did my soon to be old (I emphasize OLD) boss, that leathery hag bitch say thank you for everything I’d done to help her in the year and a half I was with her. Not that I needed her to say thank you, but I know she was still hung up on what she believed I had done wrong, and was blinded by those stinking values she will never see all the good and positive things I did for her stupid office. I cried for 45 minutes straight, I took my care package in my hands and hugged it because it meant the world to me on that last, horrible day in that lousy office.

So thank you Heather you made me feel like a million bucks on one of the days in my life I felt the most defeated, I am so lucky to have a friend like you!!!

My Dear Friend Deb From Aunt Debbie

When I first bough my house and finally closed at the end of June, I had been telling my friend Deb from Being Aunt Debbie about all the moving headaches I’d been experiencing and all the crap I thought was my son’s. Which in fact some of it (not all) had turned out to be mine. I’ve made 9 trips to Savers and the Goodwill to donate everything from women’s clothes, shoes, curtains, housewares (mostly plastic plates, cups and glasses, which were actually my sons…hee-hee) to some furniture I didn’t plan on using anymore. 9 trips, and all in my Ford Fusion because I don’t have a truck to make one haul to these places so I’ve had to make a couple in my car. Anyway, a couple of weeks after I moved in I received a package in the mail. Low and behold, I find these spectacular glasses sent to me by my dear friend Deb!! I sent her a text right away to tell her I ABSOLUTELY LOVE these glasses and to let her know that she knows me so well, lmao.

My dear friend Deb, she knows me so well!

So thank you my dear friend Deb, I appreciate having a friend like you to remind me of who I really am and that I shouldn’t change for anyone!

Just Jack

The Weds following my last day at work, I slept in late and by late I mean almost until about noon. The only reason I didn’t was because Charlie finally got tired of waiting for me to get out of bed and feed his fat ass…….I mean pour food into his bowl. So I got out of bed, went through my morning routine you know coffee, watching Fixer Upper, making myself a health shake and figuring out what I’m going to work on next. As I put a load of laundry to wash my doorbell rang, which lets face it doesn’t happen often. But I opened the door to find UPS speeding away (as they usually do) and a brown box at my front door. It was a plain brown box with no address or information on who it was from. Anyway I opened up my mystery package and found Jack had sent me a book as a gift. His card said “For you to read and finally understand those bitch ex-coworkers of yours. Remember good riddance is all in how you say it, preferably with a glass of red wine in hand and a killer black dress. Love Jack.”

So thank you too Jack, even though he’ll never see this because I haven’t told him about my blog, and I think I prefer it that way. I love you and thank you for the awesome biography about my leathery hag ex-boss and that fat ass Fake Supervisor.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Lacking Motivation or Inspiration or Tricks and Treats?

I realize that I haven’t posted anything consistent for a while.  After all starting this blog was purely for cathartic reasons on the suggestion of my super awesome therapist Terri.  And that all started because of one stupid, careless, self-absorbed person, Lestat.  Well, Lestat is long gone, not that he hasn’t tried to contact me because he has.  Desperate measures I think because he’s just that kind of an asshole.  Anyway since last Monday, which was officially my first day of unemployment, I’ve been trying to keep busy here at home.  I’ve tried my best to get my unemployed ass out of bed to do something productive around my house.  Like pulling that stupid, annoying devils weed from winding its way around my one and only rose bush and the chain-link fence on the corner of my house.  This fucking thing is just what I said it was, the devils weed, it’s an ivy sort of plant that just grabs onto something so it can choke the fuck out of it and just keep growing no matter what it has to cling onto.  Or keep unpacking more boxes of crap in the last bedroom because I’ve still to find some of my cook wear.  Or attempt to clean out more of my garage, my one car garage that although I can fit my car in there now.  There are still boxes and bags of stuff I need to go through before I can fling it into the trash bin. But I haven’t done much in the last week here at home other than obsessively apply for jobs online. 

Speaking of which, let talk unemployment shall we?  Here in the great state of Texas (okay it’s not that great right now with the fucking state government trying to tell me what and how I should treat my own female body, those fucking asshole pricks) we have to go through this state office called the Texas Workforce Commission.  If it sounds like a branch of the mafia, well that’s because trying to get money from them is like having to kidnap someone, put them in your truck to prove that you’ve done what you have so they know you’re a goodfella.  That’s what it’s like to try and register with them to get unemployment benefits.  It’s taken me two days to do this and then your directed to a third-party website where you have to register yourself so potential employers can see you; your qualifications and experience and they can contact you.  If you don’t register and do this, you don’t get unemployment benefits, fuck my life this is aggravating.  In any case, I’ve applied to so many jobs (27 to be exact) that I’m hoping something will turn up.  Before I left that shithole university and its crap leadership, I applied to several jobs within and I got four interviews.  Nothing came of those of course because I’m pretty sure they all called my ex-boss the leathery hag to ask about me and that was the end of that.  I’m just making an assumption here; I don’t really know if that’s the case. 

Okay moving on, so I’ve been glued to my computer applying for city, state and federal jobs like a mad woman.  I’ve made a few private company applications here and there, but I’ve been in state service since God was a boy, I figured I’d find something that better suited me within these entities.  I’ve had three interviews with the university I was with prior to this shit university I just left, and I haven’t heard anything back yet.  I’m even applying within the state of New Mexico because they seem to have a lot of positions that I’m suited for.  And because I live so close to the Texas/New Mexico border it wouldn’t be so bad for me commuting from here to there.  But what is puzzling me at the moment is my lack of…..drive.  I have no energy, no inspiration, nothing to motivate me.  My very good friend who is also a counselor told me on Friday as we met for lunch that I’m simply adjusting to being without a job for now.  She said this to me because I asked her if I might be getting depressed.  She looked at me and she asked me a series of questions, which I answered honestly, and she told me that I wasn’t depressed. 

She said that my life before I lost my job was always go-go-go, from 5:15am to when I got home at about 6pm every day.  Now my body is adjusting to not having to rush around and get to work every single day.  I told her that last week I had the hardest time getting out of bed, I woke up and damned these light blocking curtains, it was already 11:30!! Yes, I just blamed my curtains for my not waking up early, but then I thought, why?  I have nowhere to go because, ha-ha, get this I have no money!  Okay I do have money but it’s my savings for four months of unemployment.  But I have no liquid income at the moment whereas before I could go and buy a pair of shoes to go with the other 67 pairs I already have and not suffer for it financially.  Yes, I know it sounds very petty but I’m venting here, and I know a lot of you don’t feel sorry for me and I don’t expect you to.  Again I’m just writing down what I’m going through to put out there into the void. 

Speaking of Voids

Halloween came and went this year and I didn’t even blink, or should I say shudder.  My neighborhood is rife with rug rats of all ages and I didn’t even think to buy candy.  Good thing too because no one came to my house.  Maybe it’s because I locked my gate with a chain and lock.  Yes I do that at the behest of my three sons since I live alone.  But my next-door neighbors reassured me that no one comes down our street to Trick or Treat.  They all go across to the golf course every year because they host a huge Halloween Trick or Treat…..thing and give out candy and prizes and stuff.  They also told me that since COVID hit, the hadn’t had it so it was going to be a big deal this year.  I suppose I don’t feel as bad not giving out candy and stuff and now I guess I’m the crazy cat lady on the corner who locks her gate at night.  And everyone can just stare at me while I yell at the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn.   Which I really don’t do, I’m exaggerating here……OR AM I?

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Maybe This Is A Good Thing

I’ve been wondering what people think about who I really am?  What I mean is, my life, in…uh real life isn’t like exciting or glamours in anyway.  In fact it’s far from it, I am a normal (not quite vanilla) but in a sense quirky.  At least that’s what I try to tell myself from time to time when I find myself cursing out loud (yes I know you all know) when I’m asked yet once again to enter a password I created years ago for an account I’ve been using that automatically signs me in.  Then I switch devices and it asks me to sign in again and I CAN’T REMEMBER THE FUCKING PASSWORD I CREATED IN 2011!!! Just a quick note about my featured image, I absolutely ADORED Roddy Piper he was everything I ever wanted to be. Bold, brash and straight to the point and it didn’t hurt that he was good looking as well. Yes, yes he was.

Okay sorry we’re getting off track here, anyway I began to wonder about how I might make my life a tad more interesting.  I mean, interesting in a positive sort of way not like what I’ve been experiencing since May of this year.  Quick review of what I’ve been through this year……

January 2021

I started the new year with a really positive attitude because I had landed what I thought was my dream job.  I worked for a female VP who said she was going to mentor me so I could get ahead in the organization we worked in.  And that’s how it started out, it was great I was learning things I had no idea about and in turn I would advise her when it came to grants, proposals and things in the proposal submission area.  It was all going great; she was a great boss she was also generous as well.  When she saw I was stressing out, she gave me a one year subscription an online yoga class and an Amazon gift card to buy some yoga apparel.   Then something changed and that’s when everything hit the preverbal fan. 

May 2021

Reporting structure changed to someone who is neither a boss or a leader, in fact she’s everything but.  Anyway, things went downhill quickly, and I saw that my boss turned into some spineless, ass kissing wimp.  She let this other person dominate her professionally and I’m not sure why?  So, because I’m not in any way a kiss ass or compromise my beliefs when it comes to my work.  I find myself at the end of the road with this particular person and department.  I got notice that I was being part of a reduction in force.  Which is a nice way of saying that the other fake boss didn’t like that I questioned everything, and she found a way to get rid of me without being fired.  A reduction in force is an HR term for “let’s get rid of this troublemaker because she asks to many questions and pushes back.”  So, after I was told I was being let go I didn’t panic, I actually felt relieved that I no longer had to wake up each morning dreading going into that office where hypocrisy is the daily norm.

One thing I find extremely ironic is that this place, this so-called institution has implemented this values culture.  But in reality it’s not……I mean how can they preach (because that’s what they do) these values when only those in higher levels of administration supposedly practice them?  A couple of months ago I was in a meeting with the main higher up, my boss and the fake supervisor and several others from our office.  The, what I’ll call “values” department was giving us a presentation on these “rules” that they want every employee to follow.  Lunch was provided and we ate as they presented.  Then at the end, one of the other VP’s asked the main guy (president) why he though employees should follow these rules?

He responded with…”Well, if you don’t think you values mirror ours, then maybe you need to find somewhere else to work.”  Everyone nodded in agreement like professional lemmings and then the values person asked if we had any questions.  I raised my hand and then said “I’d like to direct this to our leader.”  He turned around to face me and then I said “With the upmost respect sir, how can you say that if we, or employees don’t mirror these values, they should go work somewhere else?  I mean, this, all of this is like an oil slick floating on the ocean.  Only the top elite are good with this, while they sit on top of the slick and think that everyone can and should follow them.  But everyone below the oil slick is drowning in toxicity.  What about the custodian who works two jobs because she can’t make ends meet?  What about the clinical assistant who needs to keep her job because she’s a single mother of two and needs to provide health insurance?  What about the nurse who is overwhelmed with COVID and HAS to stay on because she just bought her very first house before this nightmare pandemic hit?  Or what about the grounds crews who have a tyrant for a boss, but they need to work because one of them is going to school himself to better his future?  How can you say that they need to find somewhere else to work if they don’t see eye to eye with those kinds of values?  What if some of your employees can’t move or leave their jobs because they are desperate to keep them due to responsibilities you yourself may never understand?  Being accountable to your employees is the first and foremost responsibility don’t you think?”

This six foot three inch tall man with snow white hair and piercing blue eyes just sat there and didn’t blink and believe it or not completely ignored what I had just said and turned around to continue his conversation with the other VP next to him.   Everyone was shocked that I had questioned the big cheese.  The fact that he just brushed me off without a response made me think that he really doesn’t care about those in the institutional trenches. But what he said about these beliefs and if employees didn’t like it that they could go work somewhere else just didn’t sit right with me.  And implementing this type of personal tyranny isn’t right either.  It like questioning someone for their religious or political choices.  You can work with someone who’s views aren’t the same and be perfectly able to work as a team.  But when you’re the leader of a big institution, that’s a huge responsibility and trying to “make” everyone see your views about something isn’t really somewhere I want to work.  Personal beliefs and values can mean many things to many people and ethics is another thing that should go hand in hand with this, as should accountability. 

After that interaction with the big cheese, I noticed things began to change for the worse.  So today I find myself at home taking sick leave on my last week at this toxic place.  Because since I’ve gotten notice I’d be losing my job, I haven’t had any work.  Now whether this is retaliatory or not I don’t know?  But I know I contributed many positive things to, my soon to be former VP even if she won’t see it or refuses to acknowledge it.  I had a ton of work, but now I go into the office to sit there using the computer to apply online to other jobs.  I waste my day watching movies on my iPad so that the day goes by faster and find I’m more tired than when I actually had work. This goes on while no one talks to me, not my soon to be former VP or Fake whatever she is and one of the women up front because she’s an idiot and a complete waste of space. This is what I describe as workplace bullying and I’m not new to this, it’s happen to me before and I will get through this knowing I’m the better person for not going all Harley Quinn on their ass.

I made some good friends while I was there and one of them recently left for a job out of state because he too was fed up with how that place works.  When I told him that I had been let go he had some very good words of wisdom for me.

He said “You need to get out of that place because it doesn’t matter what department you find a job in, you’re not happy with the higher administration there.  They’ve left a bad taste in your mouth and you will never see eye to eye with what they are touting.”  He has a point, and of course he’s right….damn you Jack! But I also was told the very same thing by another friend/coworker who happens to be the head nurse for another department.  He too said that the best thing I can do I get out of there because this place is filled with hypocrisy and its system is irrevocably broken.   So as worried as I should be because I mean, I just bought a house after all somehow, I’m really not.  I know something will come along that’s much better than what I had here and the lessons I’ve learned are even more valuable than I can explain.  I’ve worked with so many different people here and some who became good friends outside of work.  But one thing is for sure, I will never compromise MY values for those persons who think theirs are superior.  I have integrity and respect, but don’t you dare tell me that I have to follow yours if I don’t realize that there are people suffering because those beliefs are forced upon them.  And more importantly if you consider yourself a leader then you need to lead from the bottom up not the other way around.  

Leading doesn’t mean making others do what you want it means leading them in the right and moral direction. It means taking everyone who works for you for their contribution to your organization not forcing them into something your trying to sell, but yet don’t buy it yourself. Especially if you can’t hold those closest to you professionally accountable for their hypocrisy.

So, as far as my life being interesting I suppose that it is in it’s own way. Maybe all the characters I encounter at work are great blog fodder because without the professional and personal experiences I wouldn’t have anything to write about. I just realized that I got through this entire post with only one bad word. This is truly a first for me, so until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A Ray Of Sunshine Among All the Bullshit

I’m going in a different direction with this post.  I’ve posted recently how I’m being “RIF’d” from my position with the leathery hag VP I currently work for.  And yet, I’m also hoping that I can find it in my inner good person and walk away from this experience with a renewed sense of purpose as well as a genuine reflection of how this all started out in a positive direction and then turned into something I can’t believe happened. 

Dave The Miracle Mobile Mechanic

In addition to everything bad that’s happened I had an experience of “when it rains, it fucking pours” on Tuesday.  I ran some errands on Tuesday morning and when I came back home, as I was backing into my garage my car stalled.  It went dead, okay maybe dead isn’t how I’d describe it, it just stopped because I knew I had power in my car but it wouldn’t start.   It didn’t let me take it out of gear and I tried what I could to try and get it to turn back on.  But I couldn’t find what was going on with it and in my head I’m thinking well this is just fucking perfect.  I’m losing my job and now my car whom I take such great care of with all the maintenance when it needs, you know oil changes, tire rotations, filter replacements.  I wash it at least once a week, I make sure the inside is immaculate and take pride in the fact that for a 2010 Ford Fusion it looks good AND has low mileage.  Not to mention that I don’t have a car payment at the moment, that’s a huge plus.  But despite all the love and care, it took a giant mechanical crap in my garage Tuesday morning.  At least it didn’t happen in the parking lot of the Albertson’s or Dollar Store where I had been previously.

My son came over that afternoon and tried his best to figure it out, he took off the batter and we went to AutoZone to get it tested and they said it was good. 

We came back and he said he’d try and get to it during this weekend.  I was left without transportation and Weds morning I told myself I was going to look for a mobile mechanic to see if I could get them to come and look at my car.  I found Dave, no it’s not Dave the critical, overbearing grammar Nazi who use to troll my blog only to give me unsolicited tips on how to write.  Anyway, Dave came by and he was a Godsend because he eliminated everything else that it could be causing it to stop working and then before I knew it, he found the problem.  He figured out it was the shifter cable that runs from the shifter inside the car out towards the engine and into the transmission.  He also checked the transmission and found there was nothing wrong with it either.  Which was a huge relief because I don’t have money to fix the transmission.  For four hours Dave the mechanic was in my garage diagnosing my poor baby Precious.  Yes, I named my car don’t you? 

After about an hour he called me out to tell me and show me what he’d found.  I almost cried as sat in my car with the shifter box console taken out and all the guts of it spilling out into the inside of my car.  Not to mention under the hood he took off the battery and everything that was in the way of the cable that was causing the problem.  He told me that my car was stuck in reverse and it wasn’t starting because the safety mechanism sensed it was in gear therefore not allowing to start.  He showed me a small plastic piece that was supposed to hold the shifter cable in place was broken.  I’m talking a small piece of plastic that if he hasn’t pointed it out to me I would have never seen it.  He called around to several auto parts store and he had them on speaker while they gave him prices.  The part was running anywhere from $42 to $47 dollars.  But he said he could fix it without ordering the entire cable to save me money.  Dave is a miracle worker in spite of him working on my car for four hours, when he was done he called me out to ask me to start my car and it started up. 

Dave the Miracle Mechanic fixed my car and only charged me for labor, which was about $190 because he did spend four hours figuring out the issue with my Precious.  I am forever grateful because had I taken it to a repair shop or the dealership and they would have taken days to figure out what was wrong all the while racking up hundreds of dollars in labor.  Dave is going to be my mechanic for life and not only is he a great mechanic he’s a great looking conversationalist and has an awesome personality.  He’s a retired mechanic from the City and he’s very handsome……He’s married of course, just my luck.

Dave was that much needed ray of sunshine to restore my faith in humanity.  He is the silver lining in a downpour of professional problems, because let face it the issues with my car could have been worse than what it was.  And, it definitely would have taken a lot longer than one day for someone else to figure out the problem.

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Karma…….It’s A Bitch

I want to talk about karma people and only because until I had this conversation with Fake Dolly did I realize that karma has begun working “it’s gonna bit you in the ass” magic for being bitch assholes.  On whom are you asking that karma is working its voodoo? Well let’s start off with Impostor #1.

Imposter #1– She is a backstabbing, uneducated, word misusing bitch.  And although she was the one who actually showed me some of the things I needed to learn when I got this job.  Nothing prepared me for having to deal with her conniving, backstabbing ways.  I heard her on the phone talking with the nurse for the COVID response team and she said this…..

“By her own submission she said she didn’t know she was supposed to pick up the supplies.”  I couldn’t help but laugh because I knew what she was attempting to say.  And yet I thought to myself, and this is the bitch they’re going to keep? What she was trying to say that the nurse from another department had forgotten to pick up supplies for a COVID vaccine clinic that day.  Instead of saying “By her own admission” she said submission.  I question how this dumb broad got through grad school….probably by her own submission I think.

Her karma – Well I found out that her low life, can’t hold down a regular job, three bar tending jobs a week daughter stole her credit card about a month back and tapped it out of its $8K limit.  Yeah, this is her very own daughter and that’s not the end of it, her selfish, self-centered mother lives with her and HELPED her daughter take her credit card.  Now, I stop to think that for two days straight she was on the phone with Discover Card customer services trying to get them to reverse the charges because she fought tooth and nail over her not being the one who spend the money.  So after the second day, one of the stores at the mall forwarded video to the card company of her daughter and mother having a hell of a time on a shopping spree all at her expense.  She was in my office crying telling me “You’re so lucky your kids would never do something so evil to you.  I have no idea why my daughter treats me like that and why my mom enables her.”  Well yeah ya dumb bitch, I raised my boys better. Now she’s in debt for eight thousand dollars on her credit card and she deserves all the karma that comes her way.

Fake Supervisor – This wannabe “boss” but has no ethics, integrity or accountability and is less than a leader but, somehow gets away with doing whatever the fat bitch wants because President Oblivious (yes I changed his name because what else could he be but oblivious or abliss according to Impostor) to how Fake Supervisor takes care of things in his office.

Her Karma – I come to find that her husband suffers from a very debilitating anxiety, so much so that he can’t hold down a “regular” job.  He is a chef/caterer but, his food isn’t all that great either.  Because it’s a conflict of interest for her to hire her husband to cater any of the events at work.  She is bankrolling his business.  Not that that’s stopped her from hiring him, no the bitch asks others to order his crappy food like MD, she hired him for one of the COVID clinics we had and got mediocre sandwiches and chips from Sam’s. I filed an anonymous complaint to the compliance office because that’s just pure bullshit if you ask me.  But then I also found out that she’d been trying to buy a house for a while now but, she has (are you ready for this?) $428,000 in student loans!!  How does anyone accumulate that much in student loans? Oh, that’s right a narcist bitch who thinks she could be a Ph.D but has absolutely no follow through that’s who.  So, every realtor has told her debt to income ratio is too high and because the bitch is the sole bread winner because of her useless husband she’s been struggling to stay afloat.  The bitch makes six figures and she’s struggling financially, oh sweet, sweet karma!  AND the rental house she’s been living for the last ten years in is being sold and has to be out of there by the end of October. 

This is what you can do with your letter of recommendation bitch

Leathery Hag VP – She started out as the boss I thought I’d always wanted to be like.  Then when the change in reporting structure happened she turned into an ass-kissing, spineless, insensitive bitch.  She says she doesn’t have enough work for me but, she’s giving Impostor #1 what work I do have.  I’ve been going into the office because I have to.  Except for this week, I had planned vacation this week a couple of months ago, but only for three days but then decided why not take the entire week.  She offered to write me a letter of recommendation and I reluctantly accepted.  Then after asking her for it for four days because I had an appointment at HR to go over my application options.  The fucking boney assed bitch said to me “Well Huntress, I’m trying to figure our how to dance around the issue that you have an anger management issue and that your values don’t align with mine.”  I told her if she had to “dance” around the two things that in her warped mind were negative, as opposed to all the positive things I’d accomplished during my time with her then I didn’t need a letter of recommendation from her.  She began to back track and tell me she’d have it in a couple of hours and I told her not to bother, that was pretty sure I could find a job on my own without her fucking letter.  Then she came to me to tell me I had to pick somewhere so she could take me to lunch for my birthday when I came back from vacation.  This was definitely feeble attempt to make right the entire issue of the letter she said she’d write. I looked at her and said “Are you serious?” she thinking I was joking.  And I said “I think that’s completely insensitive you wanting to take me out to lunch AND bringing Fake Supervisor and Impostor #1 along as well all the while I’m being let go by October 22nd.”  She just stood there in the break room blinking the nervous blink she gets when you make her uncomfortable.  I grabbed my cup of coffee and walked to my office.  Seriously, this skeletonized bitch has come fucking balls.

Her Karma – Her husband had some cosmetic surgery to fix a droopy eyelid because it was bothering him.  Well, the surgery didn’t go as planned and he got an infection and now the dude can’t open his left eye.  She’s been taking him to specialist all over the state of Texas to no avail and she even brought him here to see one of the neurologists at the university.  But the surgery damaged the nerves above and below his eye so it seems he’ll either have to stay that way or try for another surgery.  Oh should I also mention that her only son from her first marriage also stole money from her as well? How do I know all this? Because Impostor is a huge gossip and can’t help but tell everyone that will give her the time of day.  Also her new house she just bought with her second husband turns out has some structural issues that’s going to cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars. 

When I explained to Fake Dolly about all the behind the scenes crap going on, I told her that karma is already in the works for these bitch assholes from hell.  And that we don’t normally see karma happen the way we’d like, for example having Fake Supervisor choke on a sandwich like Mama Cass, as mean and vengeful as that would be.  But that doesn’t mean it’s not happening where it hurts them the most, their families and finances.  Fake Dolly looked at me with this light in her eyes and said “You know what? Your right, I never thought about it like that” and we both stood there laughing. Fake Dolly has a job interview this week with another department, I sure hope she gets it because we need to get the fuck out of there as soon as we’re able.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Money For Nothing and My Checks for Free…….For Now

Since they gave me notice that I would be RIF’d and my last day here would be on October 22nd, I’ve been coming into work to find that things are slowly being changed over to the “new” backstabber who will be helping my now, soon to be former VP.   I’ve lost all access to all the calendars of the people I was helping, so now I can’t see anything.  Is that good or bad? Good I think because I’m here in my soon to be former office, making online applications to different places and taking my sweet time to do absolutely NOTHING.  Impostor has begun to take appointments for my skeletonized, leathery faced hag of a VP.  They meet in the VP’s office which is next to mine and then they close the doors to whisper about me I’m sure.  Does that make me paranoid? Actually no, because even with the door closed I can hear everything they say because these offices are so badly built, the walls so thin one can hear every single audible word they say. 

But, I’ve done my job to the best of my ability, and I can honestly say that I have not sabotaged anything or anyone here.  As much as I’d love to, I’m not because unlike everyone that works in this Godforsaken place, I have integrity.   Fake Supervisor has been out of town attending an institutional values conference, talk about hypocrisy, the mere fact that fat bitch has any values is laughable!  I heard that she was having issues with connecting flights, that’s what Impostor said.  I’m sure they finally got a cargo plane to take her to where she was going.  Again, I don’t fat shame because I have a son who is on the “fluffy” side, and I am sensitive to that fact.  But Fake Supervisor is a horrid person all around and she, for some reason perceives she’s untouchable.  And maybe she is because President Cutie Pie thinks she’s doing a spectacular job and doesn’t question anything she does.  She’s a control freak with a huge (and I mean huge) God complex who wants to be in charge of everything but isn’t a leader in anyway.

So, I, Impostor #2 and Fake Dolly have formed an alliance since we’ve found out each other’s displeasure of this particular workplace. We’ve had a couple of Friday night, girl’s night, alcohol induced bitch fests about work, and the people within this office. We’ve had a blast and believe it or not the fact that we can talk, complain and laugh about what we individually go through at work is like therapy. We feel better afterwards and the stress doesn’t seem so bad. We bitch about how they preach values and teamwork and inclusiveness, but do the exact opposite of all these things. Fake Dolly is applying internally as well, and I hope she finds something soon. Because what she says about dealing with Fake Roseanne is just fucking absurd. Fake Roseanne does next to nothing, she’s a complete waste of space and thinks she’s Fake Dolly’s supervisor. Fake Roseanne gets on my fucking nerves, when you tell her to do something, she complains about it. She’s told Impostor that she wants to be a “boss” but has only a high school education, no tack, initiative, or even communication skills. The bitch is useless, but yet she’s a favorite as well, her and Impostor are protected. It’s like working with the damned mafia here, if you don’t kiss Fake Supervisor’s ring (or big fat lardy ass) you don’t get anything. And Fake Dolly, Impostor #2 and I are NOT ass kissing hypocrites.

Finding Little Details In Fine Print

After I was given my RIF letter, I went home and took it out of my purse and read it at least five times. I still couldn’t believe that these two bitches who control this office made up such a lame excuse that the VP I worked for didn’t have enough work for me. But then I realized the letter referenced a couple of policies that HR had regarding employee’s who’ve been RIF’d. So when I came back the next day I began looking through all 107 HR polices to find the overlooked fine print of the policy for employees let go due to a reduction in force.

If my suspicions are correct what Fake Supervisor and my soon to be former leathery hag VP are trying to do is give Impostor my job. Something tells me that the new VP for Finance/CFO may be bringing her own assistant and this is just a way of ensuring Imposters job. But, because I worked in research, I am thorough with policies, guidelines and such. And I will make sure that whatever it is that I am being made a part of will be enforced. That is if I don’t have a job within the period that the policy states, because why would I want to continue working here right? Some may think, enforce this policy out of spite and I’d have to agree but only to make their lives hell after the fact. And only if I haven’t found a job because let’s face it I need a job and ASAP. Anything is better than working here, my leathery faced boss takes an entire hour out of her day to take a Spanish lesson. I can hear her broken Spanish through the paper thin walls, it’s like nails on a fucking chalkboard.

Applications Everywhere

Since I found out I’m being let go, I’ve made my days in this troll-hole productive with the fact that I am applying wherever I can. Not just for any job mind you, but for jobs that I know I’m experienced at and that are consistent with my education as well. I’ve applied internally and with my former university and the City. So with my luck I hope to find something soon so that I can finally say a big old fuck you to this place and the hypocritical, lying, manipulative, two faced motherfuckers that work here! Yesterday my soon to be former VP approached me to see if I’d like for her to write me a letter of recommendation. What could I say? I couldn’t very well tell her no even though I wanted to, but if I keep applying within this university her letter would maybe open a couple of doors. Even with this I feel like a hypocrite and that makes me feel….well like YUCK!

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Well Fuck My Entire Life………..

Somehow I felt this coming, I had a sense that because I’m not in any way an ass kissing employee that I’d either be written up for something stupid or taken to HR because of how I verbalize my dissatisfaction with some situations.  But today I was told by both my no-good, rotten, ass-kissing, motherfucking, hypocritical bitch bosses that I was being let go due to a “reorganizational structure” in the Office of the President.  Yes, you heard that right, I’m being let go or “RIF’d” (reduction in force) because my boney assed bitch boss and the fat ass, jello mold from Hotel Transylvania

(because that’s how morbidly obese the bitch is and how many rolls she has) earth quake shaking walking bitch Fake Supervisor that they don’t have enough work for me so therefore they are eliminating my position!

And what’s worse is, there isn’t a fucking thing I can do about it, they work in tandem to get shit done, and their reasoning is that when I got hired, I got hired to support two people.  My VP and the Chief of Staff, but the COS quit in August of last year.  And in spite of this, Impostor #1 is going to be helping my boss with what she needs from now on.  I suspect that she might have something to do with this because she’d been avoiding me the last three weeks.  So that backstabbing, ignorant bitch (because she’s abliss) can fuck herself alone with the other two!

So in this “meeting” they had with me to let me know I was being let go, they told me that I was hired to support two people and then my skeletonized, leathery hag of a boss said “And I just don’t think I have enough work to keep you busy, Huntress.”  This is her justification even though I’ve been working to help Bad Cop and MD in my capacity and this bitch can’t find enough work for me?!?!  How does this make sense? I’m working like hell just to keep up with Bad Cops demands on me and his admin support already started!!

They Said That I Should Be Supporting Two People

My response?  I told them that they should have thought about that when the COS quit, and let me go then so that I would have been able to find something suitable as far a job.  I also added that if neither of them can’t find enough work for me that means that they don’t have enough work, correct?   They sat there looking at me in silence and then fat all Fake Supervisor told me that “this isn’t the way this works Huntress.”  I said that I know that, because I don’t kiss ass and aren’t a “favorite” in this suite they target those people first.  My boney assed-leather faced white lady boss said to me “I’m really sorry Veronica” and I responded with “Are you really? Because I highly doubt it.”  I grabbed my “RIF” letter folded it and walked back to my office to do…….ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! It’s not like me to be a slacker in any shape or form, but you know what? I’ve given my boney assed leather faced, Shirley Temple, brillo pad haired boss 100% in my job, and I’m not giving her anymore of my time or effort.  I have this stupid job until October 22nd so as far as I’m concerned, I’m not doing a fucking thing until I have to officially leave this godforsaken place, of course I’ll be applying to other jobs but that’s an afterthought at the moment.  I’m so GODDAMNED ANGRY right now, and there isn’t anything anyone can say or do that is going to change how I feel at this very moment!!!!

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Silently Wishing Their Demise

I haven’t really posted anything in regards to my job in a while because, well I’ve been kinda busy with my house and stuff.  But I’ve realized that even though things here aren’t as bad as they are in my mind, and that I over think the professional injustice that goes on in this office constantly.  I just need to do what a former coworker of mine told me once.  He said “que te valga madre” and I’ll translate that as “just don’t give a shit” and do your job without conscience of what others do or say.  He’s right you know, but for someone who’s always had pride in her work, that mind set is hard to do, because I’ve always been a hard worker no matter what I did.  When I worked as a janitor, I did the best job I could because my dad always told me “It doesn’t matter what your job is, always do it the best you can.”  So I grew up with that mentality, so as a janitor, I did.  When I was a warehouse worker, I did, when I worked at the other university I did.  But with the lack of leadership, guidance and communication that goes on here, I may have to just say “me vale madre” for my own sanity and wellbeing. 

My VP Is Either BiPolar Or Just A Wishy Washy Bitch

Because of the change in reporting structure my VP is no longer my direct line boss.  So I asked her a couple of weeks ago that if she knew if everyone was going to get the 2% merit increase.  Her response?

“I don’t know anything about that, if you don’t get it could it be because of your coaching with Fake Supervisor?”  Those words lit a fire of rage inside me, a fire that was apparently obvious to her because her facial expression changed when she saw how I reacted by not really reacting.  My response?

“I believe that if anyone gets more than a 4.0 on their annual evaluation it’s a 2% merit across the board.  You being the associate dean of finance should know this, and how do you not know this?”  And I walked out of her office.  I received a “coaching” after I had asked Impostor #2 to take meeting minutes for me the day I was to go and close on my house.  I didn’t ask Fake Supervisor though, and because she’s our direct line boss she got upset, hence my so-called coaching. 

The Ineptitude and Idiocy Here Is Overwhelming

After the incident with my VP, nothings been the same.  I chose to say what I did because I’m not stupid, and I hate that she’s turned into some wishy-washy, ass kissing, bipolar old hag.  Yes this is the person who was overwhelming generous when I was first hired.  This is the woman that gifted me the Amazon gift card and Yoga classes for a year.  So what happened?  I couldn’t say, but it all began when Fake Supervisor changed the reporting structure.  The thing is, President Cutie Pie has no clue about what his so called “assistant” does behind his back.  Yes he has a lot of responsibility, the entire weight of the university is on his shoulders, but he really should pay attention to what Fake Supervisor does in the suite because it causes a lot of internal strife.

When my VP voluntold me to help out Bad Cop in his department she didn’t ask me.  At the time I didn’t mind because I didn’t know Bad Cop all that well.  But since, I’ve gotten to know the ineptitude of his direction and how he runs his department causing six good, hard working people under him to quit.  That shit is just plain wrong if you ask me?  He may be a great physician but as a director, he sucks monkey balls as he doesn’t know how to do anything technological.  He doesn’t know how much money he has in his budget, what he can or should pay the people under him and he scrutinized every single office supply purchase asking if one of the administrators needs an entire box of pencils?  But, he has no idea how to read his financial reports, and asks the stupidest questions about why he has so much money in the M&O account at the beginning of the fiscal year.  It’s enough to make me want to bang my head against the wall every single time I meet with the dude!

The worst part of all is that he’s a sneaky little weasel, and since my boss is his boss he goes directly to her when I let him know about stuff he can or can’t do with the budget.  Then the boney assed bitch contradicts me because it seems she likes to make me look stupid.  My feelings about this? I didn’t ask to help this guy out, she put me here to help and then she tells me I’m not to guide him financially.  HOW IN THE FUCK DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?!?!

I’m Playing The Game While I Quietly Look For Something Else

I need my job, that’s a fact because I just bought a house and I need to pay for my mortgage.  But having to deal with all the emotional bullshit that goes on here is enough to make one go crazy.  At the moment I don’t have another option, there isn’t anything I can apply for within this institution.  I have to bite my tongue and grind my teeth so that I don’t snap my VPs neck like a dried up chicken bone!  She’s quick to tell me everything I do wrong, which is complete nonsense because I do what she tells me to do so where does this shit make sense?  Then it’s like high school, Impostor #1 walks into my boss’s office, they close the door and stay in there for the longest time.  Or she walks in there and they are whispering about God knows what.  I don’t care what they talk about, I just do my job and keep on stepping.  

As Stupid As They Come

They just hired a new boss to replace Fake Carol, and I hope that she sees that Impostor does next to nothing all fucking day long.  Impostor #2 says she has to close her office door because Impostor #1 is on personal calls all day, with her mother, daughter or sister.  And yells so loud that Impostor #2’s boss closes the door to his office and so does Impostor #2 for that matter.  She watches YouTube videos all day, and then leaves for lunch with Fake Supervisor for more than two hours.  I guess that saying is true, it’s not what you know but who you know, and if you’re good at kissing ass it goes a long way in this suite.  And Impostor #1 can certainly do that.  And she’s doesn’t know how to talk, and I mean seriously she uses words out of context or can’t say the word at all.  Here’s an example….

Impostor #1 – That new guy that Impostor #2 hired doesn’t know anything don’t you think?

Me – Yeah, he’s a new graduate and he seems a bit wet behind the ears if you ask me

Impostor #1 – Yeah I asked him if he set up his work email and he looked at me and seemed abliss about what I was talking about.

Me – Abliss? What is that?

Impostor #1 – You know, abliss……*she sighs in frustration*…..that he doesn’t know anything!

Me – *laughing hysterically*…..oh you mean OBLIVOUS?!…..HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Impostor #1 – What?

Me – Its not “abliss” its oblivious….hahahaha, abliss….seriously?

Impostor #1 – *turns red and walks away*

This is the kind of shit she says all the time, I mean she’s got a master’s degree but she’s completely “ABLISS” to any sort of professionalism whatsoever.  Once my VP asked her why she never wore dresses to work, and Impostor #1 said that she has scars on her legs. She rolled up her pant leg and showed us what looked like stretch marks. And my VP said “you can wear dark hosiery you know?” And Impostor just nodded her head and then my VP asked how she got those “scars” and Impostor said the most ludacris thing in the world, confirming she’s a complete idiot. She said she had an allergic reaction to something and “the histamine in her legs popped” and that’s how she got the scars. I was drinking coffee at that very moment and I swear it almost came out of my nose because of her response. How exactly does one’s histamine pop? Because I’m curious, I want to know this rare medical condition so that I don’t come down with it.

No I shouldn’t have laughed at her when she thought “abliss” was “oblivious” but I’m not a “favorite” in this office, and it was mean to do what I did.  But, I don’t get any favors, or can take two hour lunches, or pretend to “work” when in reality all she does it watch Youtube, fight with her family and then leave early because she’s “had too much to do.”  I have to come in when I am scheduled to do so, I have to actually do my work, plus help Bad Cop with his department and Managing Director with her department too.  And then I’m told I may not be getting a merit increase? Where in the FUCK does this make sense? 

Okay I know, I’m rambling on about something that I can’t change, but I’d rather ramble on here then be arrested for assault in the workplace due to plain stupidity of others.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Things That Happened While I Was On Vacation

I haven’t posted anything in over two weeks because of work and the continuing effort to finalize the unpacking process from the move into my new house.  Which is kind of odd saying that because it’s not really my new house anymore, it’s just my house.  I’ve adjusted to the fact that this house is way bigger than the rental home I lived in for 15 years.  But the fact that I’m still unpacking comes as a complete surprise to me because of the fact that, HOW IN THE FUCK DID I ACCUMULATE SO MUCH CRAP?!?!  And here I thought that most of it was my son’s, which is accurate he had a lot of crap he’s taking to his new house.  And I still have some of his crap/stuff/junk at mine, waiting patiently for him to take it home.  Anyway, I took vacation to be able to stay home and finish unpacking and organize everything where it needs to go.  All the while trying to keep the jungle that was my front and back yards in check.  Because with all the rain, they grow like…..well like fucking weeds and my role as new home owner now includes being a landscaper/gardener to make sure my house has a tame yard.  Because will all the rain, the grass (actually it’s more the weeds) grow unruly and it’s a pain in the fucking ass. 

Also since I don’t have a lawnmower I use the weed whacker to do what I can to keep everything in check. 

The Only Person I Knew On My Side Of Town Left

Working here I had to start working with Good Cop/Bad Cop and under his department I became friends with one of the assistant directors and the head RN who runs infection control.  We didn’t like each other at first because he’s such a diva.  Apparently that’s exactly what he thought about me too, and then we got along fabulously.  Come to find out he lived on the same side of town I moved to, only four blocks from where I bought my house.  So we became kind of close in the short amount of time that we worked together, I’m going to call him Jack (Will and Grace) because he’s the Jack to my Karen.

I’m going to really miss Jack

Just as I began to form a new work family, Jack up and tells me he found a job in Phoenix and is going to start on Sept 8th.  I and Cupcake (the RN in Infection Control, I’ll explain later and yes it’s a he) will just have to get along without Jack.  Jack put his house up for sale and it sold in less than two weeks, he’s coming back into town to sign off on paper work in three weeks to finalize the sale of his house.  So because of this, Jack was selling off a lot of his stuff, you know furniture, accessories etc.  He had already given me a light fixture for the dining area.  So he called me to go and pick it up from his house and he was also having a yard sale to get rid of some of his things.  Needless to say I came home with not just the free light fixture, but for $35 I came home with a newish tv stand, two blue accent chairs, an industrial style lamp and a “vintage” coffee table that I’m going to refinish to make it look more modern.  I’ve gotten into the DIY phase of my home buying experience.  Anyway Jack called me the following day to tell me that he was selling his Ashley Furniture sofas, and I was ecstatic because they’re beautiful!  But, I told him I was on a budget, and needed to negotiate the price.  He said no need to negotiate, I know you’ll take care of them so I’ll let you have them both for $300. 

I was like FURIOUSLY HAPPY! No I’m not ripping off Jenny Lawson, I was literally furiously happy for him letting me have them for only $300. 

These are the sofas I got from Jack, this picture is from his home’s Realtor.com listing

Because I looked up the sofa set and he paid about $2400 for them.  So, I went to pick up my new-ish sofa set at his house on Friday and with my son’s help got them home and into my new “formal” living room.  Which by the way has an awkward green wall now since I moved the old sofa set into the “sun” room or “den” area.  But, that will change by next week when I can go buy paint for that one wall.  Friday was the last day I saw Jack in person, he was off to Phoenix that weekend to start his new fabulous life over there.  All because Good Cop/Bad Cop didn’t think he had the experience and education to allow him to apply for the director position.  Only because this idiot wants a RN for the director but I digress.  Good Cop/Bad Cop is allowing the good hardworking people in his department to leave, and those who are asshole miscreants to stay.  What the fuck is wrong with this picture, seriously?

My Home Still Doesn’t Quite Feel Like Home…..Yet

Charlie kept mumbling to himself this very phrase while I was on vacation…

Yes, tis true, my beautiful little house (not really it’s kinda big for one person and her snarky, CHONK cat) doesn’t quite feel like home yet.  I’ve been there over two months and I’m still trying to find my place, you know like when you finally slip into bed or a comfy sofa and find just the right spot to just lie in?  Yeah that’s how I feel right now, maybe it’s because I still have tons of shit to unpack and it won’t feel like home until all of this crap is put away in its place and/or donated.  In spite of my wonderful house not quite feeling like home, I do like the view of the mountain every morning when I leave to drive to work.  It’s absolutely breathtaking, of course unless your being eaten alive by mosquitos that is.  In my old house, I didn’t have a mosquito problem, but maybe being so close to the mountain and because its been raining constantly that’s why there are mosquitos out to get me.  Of course it doesn’t help that neighbors (I won’t mentioned which ones) won’t cut their fucking grass that’s also taken over with giant weeds.  See, this is why I got up early on my first day of vacation, yes at 6am to go outside to cut grass, pull weeds, trim my mimosa tree that seemed to be growing out wild and dug up four dried up rose bushes.  I didn’t want the neighbors to start gossiping about “the woman who bought the corner house and how she doesn’t keep her yard tidy.”  Okay, it’s only in my imagination but if I’m already thinking this about neighbors that have already lived there longer than I have, what’s to say they aren’t thinking that about me? I can hear it already…

Neighbors:

Grace (fictitious neighbor’s name): Oh gawd, Henry did you see the new neighbor that bought the house on the corner?

Henry (fictitious neighbors husband): Nope, watching the game…

Grace: Her weeds are almost up to the ankles.  Isn’t she going to at least do her yard sometime soon?

Henry: Can’t hear ya Grace, watching the game.

Grace: And why doesn’t she put her car in her garage?  She’s probably one of those hoarders, oh GAWD Henry we have a hoarder living across the street!!

Henry: Oh for the love of Pete, Grace, stop looking through the window like a fucking Kravitz!

Grace: I’m not a Kravitz, Henry I’m merely making a comment about how our new neighbor isn’t cleaning her yard!  She’s been there close to two months and you can see the weeds in her back yard are as tall as the fence!

Henry:…..raises the volume on the television.

Meanwhile across the street from the Kravitz’…..

Norma (other fictitious neighbor): Well fuck my life James that fucking Henry and his wife have the volume up on their dammed television….again!

James: Can’t hear you Norma I’m watching the game.

Norma: But did you see the woman that bought the house on the corner hasn’t cleaned her yard yet? Well, that’s just an abomination.  At least the last neighbors kept their yard clean.

James: But they had house parties and drank out front Norma.  You called the cops on then several times, remember?

Norma: Well, if they were going to drink at least do it in the back yard where no one can see you.

James: *sighs loudly*

Norma: At least the new neighbor seems quiet, but she really does need to cut the weeds in her yard.

James: I’m going over to Henry’s to watch the game….

I have four sets of neighbors because I have a corner house, one to the right, to the left, one caddy corner to me and the house right in front of mine.  Whose yard hasn’t been kept since I moved in, so if these fucking neighbors are going to gossip, they should maybe start with them.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Trying to Accept Things As They Are, and Being Grateful For What I Have

Yes, it’s still raining here…..

No, you’re not dreaming or on someone else’s blog, yes that is the title of my latest post.  In addition to being tired, for which I have an upcoming doctor’s appointment.  I’m also feeling a lack of, enthusiasm, energy or whatever else once calls just making it through their day and going home, then repeating it again.  Like the Lego Movie, except in my reality not everyone is awesome.

I was Voluntold To Help A Passive Aggressive Good Cop/Bad Cop

My dotted line boss, my VP volunteered me to help a director of a department she oversees.  I didn’t fight it because he seemed to be a very good, genuine guy.  That was mid-June, and now I want to fucking choke the motherfucker because he’s not what he seems to be.  He plays this very well meaning person to the higher ups, but behind the scenes he’s a complete asshole who doesn’t know what he’s doing.  You may remember him as Dr. Dangerous.  Well, he’s more like the Good Cop/Bad Cop from the Lego movie.  Yes this may very well be a Lego Movie themed post, but whatever, this dude is getting on my nerves!  AND I’m not being paid to help this douche bag of a director either, when I approached my VP about getting what we call an overload, she said no.   An overload is extra money we’ve paid others under my boss that take on extra duties while doing their jobs.  Some of the administrators under have received an extra $1,500 a month.  In addition to their six figure salaries.  And I can’t fucking can’t get an extra $500 for dealing with Dr. Douchebag?!?!

The dude is impossible to work with, he makes things harder than they should be, and he’s lost four people in his department who were competent, valuable, hardworking people!  Then he keeps the slackers, whiners and do-nothing asshole, bitch pricks! One which I’ve already butted heads with, I’m going to call her the Human Hemorrhoid, but in reality she physically looks like the poop emoji we all use, I’m not exaggerating with this. 

If I could show y’all a picture of her I would so you’d see she really does look like the poop emoji.  She’s a manager and has attempted to tell me what to do, boss me around and order me to do what she should be doing.  So after ignoring her nasty emails and such, she sent me another one and “told” me I had to answer her or else.  So I answered her, and I copied Dr. Douchebag and told her I didn’t work for her, and that I was helping Dr. Douchebag out at the behest of my boss.  I also explained that as a manager she needed to take care of those individuals under her, and I worked directly for the VP in charge of her boss, and I wasn’t a secretary or an admin.  I was the EA for the VP of Clinical Administration, and I don’t answer to anyone but my boss.  Which I pointed again, was her boss’s boss, and if she didn’t like it, she could take it up directly with her boss or mine.

I’m Supporting Four People And My Workload Is More While My Pay Is The Same

After I approached my VP about a potential overload and after she said no, I felt as though I’m just being taken advantage of.  And now I see her as President Business from the Lego Movie….yes, yes my post has taken on the Lego Movie theme, I know.

Maybe this is why I feel so tired, and that my lack of enthusiasm has been more and more apparent.  My plan is to do the bare minimum, yes I know how that sounds, and believe me it’s not like me to be a slacker in any way.  I’ve always prided myself in being a hard worker, and never, ever back down from a challenge.  But, being volunteered to help someone else without being asked isn’t exactly what I had in mind as far as a challenge.  I want the extra experience, I want to gain knowledge from my job so that I can eventually become a director or something.  So I don’t have to work at the drive through at Wendy’s until I’m 89 years old to pay off a house I bought at 52 years of age.

I’m Grateful For…

My therapist asked me what I was grateful for after our visit and my bitch session about my boss, the new duties and how I wasn’t being paid extra for all the work I’m doing and how others are getting an overload amount.  She sighed out loud as if annoyed and then I sighed even louder, that’s when she gave me a little black journal and asked me to write down every morning, twenty things I’m grateful for.  She said to fill up the journal and when I have, to bring it back to her.

So after the first few days of entries like….

I’m grateful for not being in jail

For not being arrested for road rage

For not killing the stupid lady in the checkout line at Albertsons for haggling over coupons

I started writing down things like……

Being grateful for God

For my boys

For the view of the mountain from my house

For my job (despite the drawbacks)

For my blogger friends

For my house

You know things like that, genuinely being grateful for the things I have and not keep wondering about the things I don’t.  Being grateful for a dinner get together tonight with cousins I haven’t seen in decades.  Six maternal cousins that I grew up with, that I’d see every weekend, played together, fought with, spent the night with and somehow we all lost touch when we grew up.  Being grateful for being alive and living to be 52 years old, technically not until October but we’re almost there so, whatever.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Getting Into The New Swing of Things

It’s been just over a month since the “big move” into my very own home, and believe it or not, I’m still unpacking and putting stuff away.  But now that I’m living alone, okay with my cat so that’s not really alone. 

I’ve struggled somewhat to get back into a normal routine of sorts, like getting back to running, fixing up my house, or just finding energy to do stuff around the house.  I have no idea why I’m struggling so much at the moment.  Could I be that I’m just plain tired or what the hell?

Rain, Rain Go Away……..Seriously Rain BEAT IT!

El Paso doesn’t normally get much rain during the year, it hits mostly around the end of August or early September.  But this year, the monsoon season come early and it’s beginning to be a pain the ass!  Seriously though, the mountain and surrounding areas haven’t been so green in I don’t know how long, but this constant rain shit is getting on my nerves.  Not only because of the humidity but, because of the rate grass and weeds are growing.  I haven’t had a chance to even start doing something to my lawn because when I finally decide to do it, it starts raining again.  Like last night for instance, it was around 2:45am and I could hear the rain coming down, and I’m thinking to myself well this fucking sucks.  One) because trying to dry my hair as I get ready for work will take longer and two) because my hair is a bitch and won’t cooperate when I attempt to style it, three) the weeds and grass in my yard are about two feet tall.  Yes, TWO MOTHERFUCKING FEET TALL!! And what’s the point of doing yard work when it’s just going to fucking rain again and make it all grow back?? 

Someone here in El Paso was kind enough to post a video of what tons rain does to a section of I-10. It floods, A LOT and it does so where cars stall out, and 18-wheelers can blind a driver by passing them and spraying what is a kin to a fucking tidal wave over your car.

I’m Learning To Be A “Outdoorsy” Person

In spite of all the rain and humidity, I’ve decided to try and work on my front yard, because I’m a homeowner now, I have been trying to keep the outdoor part of my house at least somewhat kept.  As mentioned above, the rain has been horrible and made whatever grass I have along with weird weeds grow.  And by weird I mean, as I used the weed whacker/eater/trimmer thingy, I came across some weed that’s low to the ground.  I’d say it’s a creeper type of weed, that has oblong leaves and when I cut the damned thing with the weed eater, it has water inside.  Then there are the stupid “goats-head” thorn weeds/bushes that are low to the ground as well.  And some grow high too as I learned this past Sunday at my son’s new house.  I ran past one and got caught in it and my running shoe, pants and everything below the ankle covered in goats-head thorns! Those motherfuckers are everywhere, and are annoying as hell.  In Spanish we call them “torritos” or little bulls heads, because of the horn like crap that make them stick to everything. 

Exactly

Anyway, I’ve cut down the long grass and taken some of the weeds out and fought with that stupid annoying “water plant/weed.”   I did manage to find that I have a bearded iris growing along the side of the house and bird of paradise plant as well.  Along with dried up rose bushes that need to be taken out too.  I haven’t even started on my back yard, it’s a jungle out back I’m sure of it, but I can only do so much during the weekends. 

My Snarky Cat Plays Nip Mouse Hockey All Night Long

So, since my son moved to his new house, he left Charlie with me, to keep him from stressing out more than he had been with the move to my new house.  So now that I live alone, I mean with my cat I don’t close the bedroom doors at night anymore.  The main reason for me doing that was because my son snores and loud, he sounds like a damned freight train sitting on the track just idling there.   Now if you don’t know what that sounds like, then you’ve never lived near railroad tracks.  I grew up around them, and when the engine just sits on the track idling, it’s a loud type of constant hum, it’s scary and weird all at the same time.  And my son snores that loud where I kept my bedroom door closed for years and even then it still didn’t help, I had to wear earplugs.

But, I’m getting off subject here, so since he moved out and it’s been me and Charlie, I keep the bedroom doors open so the scary cat won’t think I’m trying to lock him out.  Anyway, he sleeps all damned day long and at around 2:45am every morning to about 5:30am the motherfucker plays nip mouse hockey.  Which means since I don’t have carpet anymore, he slams all four of his nip mice against the walls, doors or whatever furniture he can.  Then I hear him run all around the 1631 square feet of my house, with his little paws and claws trying to grab onto the corners.  I’ve had to retrieve two of the four mice from under my bed before I go to sleep, and then he starts up again the next morning.  So, I’ve started to use earplugs again, but this time to keep Charles “Bruiser” O’Houlihan the FHL (feline hockey league) goalie from waking me up at night. 

I’ve Moved Within My House

Since I live alone…..correction since I live with a snarky motherfucking cat, I can pretty much do what I want in my own home now.  My master bedroom is small, so small that my queen size bed takes up all the room in my…..well, room.  And on top of the child size sink I have to deal with daily, it’s pretty much a struggle to feel comfortable in my own house with a tiny room and even smaller master sink.  My solution?  I’ve move out of my master suite and into the larger front bedroom, and I did all of this all by myself on Saturday.  I took apart my bed, moved the mattresses and dresser and moved the full size bed that was in the front bedroom and into the adjoining bedroom and now I feel a bit more comfortable even though I don’t have an en suite bath.  But like I said I live alone and I use the much bigger hall bathroom for everything else but drying and styling my hair because as previously noted, there are no electrical outlets in the hall bath.  So, I’m okay with it for now, until I can actually remodel the master and fourth bedroom into one huge master suite. 

My oldest came over on Saturday after work to pick up some of his things, and asked who helped me move?  I told him no one, that I did it all myself, and he was actually surprised and then I was surprised that he was surprised.  I’m nothing if self-sufficient, and of course I’ll do what I need to if I can do it on my own.  It made up for the lack of physical exercise that I haven’t been doing since I moved.  Or maybe moving itself was the exercise I did get but didn’t know it.  Either way, I’m moving around instead of just sitting on the couch watching a Godfather trilogy marathon and that’s important and would explain why I’m so fucking tired. 

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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In All Of The Emotional Chaos, A Stranger Rings Poetic

Dealing with all the emotional and physical whirlwind I’ve been through the last month, I thought I’d never find one solitary moment of peace.  After going through the horror of moving from one house to another (which took for fucking ever, almost an entire month) I’m finally done with moving of any kind.  Now I just have to unpack tons upon tons of boxes and put everything away, but I can do that at my own pace.  I’m going to start where I left off when this entire home buying process began, trying to running my three miles a day.  Or at least try to pick up where I left off, I might have my work cut out for me since this is the longest I’ve stopped from running since I started running.  But forge ahead I must, I need to get back into shape only this time I will incorporate strength training.

This came to my attention during the move when I was helping my boys (or they were helping me when they’d stop laughing and joking long enough to actually get shit done) that I noticed things “jiggled” in places that jiggling wasn’t meant to happen.

It Sucks Getting Old…..er 

As the jiggling of body parts that were meant to be stationary and taunt became more obvious and of course pointed out to me by my overly sarcastic, joking, annoying boys.  I thought to myself, damned it must be nice to be Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Aniston where I had all the money in the world to just work out six hours a day, every single day to keep the “jiggles” from happening, right?  I mean like Jennifer Lopez in the sense of being able to do a daily workout that takes up to six hours, but definitely not her propensity for not being able to stay alone for less than a week before the woman is on the arm of an old boyfriend because despite her having everything, she is the most insecure bitch ever!  Seriously, like the bitch just broke up with A-Rod a few months ago and now she and her ex, Ben Affleck.  And they are looking for a house together?!?!  What the fuck is wrong with you Jenny from the Block, are you that insecure and afraid of being alone for a year or maybe two!?  That’s a disaster waiting to happen and if it didn’t work the first time, what makes them so sure it’s going to work out the second?!?! OMFG seriously, like……

Ahem….sorry about that, back to the program, any way as I started to try and get my life together in my new home and adjusting to the hypocritical changes at work.  I wanted to get back to something familiar, satisfying and positive, which for me is running.  I’m not a good runner, I’m not even a runner per say, I just like to run because it reduces stress (supposedly) and cardio is good for you.  But I digress, I thought this was a routine I needed to get back to as I began to unpack all of the boxes in my “spare” room, and put my belongings away.  No, I didn’t do that as soon as I moved as I had to go back to work and then having to keep moving all the crap from hell from the rental house.  I positioned my treadmill in one of the empty rooms to try and get to running soon…..yes I said soon.

Gardner/Landscaper/Poet

Every morning as I park my car one of the landscapers is waiting for me, we’ve known each other since I worked at my previous department in research.  One morning way back then, it was raining gatos and perros (cats and dogs), and as I opened my car door I saw a virtual river of water rushing past my car.  I was wearing suede high heels and thought to myself, well that’s just a big old fuck you from Mother Nature isn’t it?  Of course she and I don’t get along too much but that’s an entirely different post.  Anyway, I contemplated just sitting in my car until the rain subsided, but it keep pouring as I listened to one of the local radio stations telling me it was going to keep raining for the next two days.  I attempted a second time to find a way to get from my car to the front of the building.  That’s when the landscaper held my door open, he told me in Spanish he’d placed some wooden planks so I wouldn’t have to get my shoes wet AND he flung his raincoat over me as he held an umbrella over my head and carried my computer case and lunch bag as well.  This was by far, the sweetest most romantic gesture I’d ever experienced, and by romantic I mean like what we read in books.  Not him and I romantic because he’s married, he’s just a gentleman.

He walked me all the way across the wooden planks until we got under the concrete arches that support the research building.  I thanked him profusely as I gave him back his raincoat and he handed me my things.  I went into my office and about half an hour later our senior director came in soaking wet, holding her umbrella, her clothes all wet.  Okay so she’s a totes bitch, she’s the biggest reason I left that department, so that’s just a little background story about her.  As she looked at me she said “Why are you completely dry?” I looked at her and told her what the landscaper had done for me and she said “Where is he now? He’s not out there” I shrugged my shoulders and went back to my office.  Baby Kermit came in looking the same, I just laughed and really didn’t think anything of it.

The landscaper it turns out is a poet, he recites his poetry at the other university and partakes of his poetry here as well during the wellness camp we have once a year.  So, the day after that stupid incident with my boss and Impostor, he saw me and I guess I wasn’t my usual self.  He stood there under one of the mulberry trees and asked me if I was okay.  I told him I was (I lied) and then we just smiled and then he said to me (in Spanish) “Don’t be sad, the rays of sunshine emanate from your soul, you are the reason the skies are blue, the birds sing and you are, a walking, talking poem in the form of a woman.”  It took everything I had to keep it together and not cry right there and then.  I walked up to him and shook his hand and said no one has ever said anything even remotely that beautiful to me ever.  Which is the truth, not Lestat or my stupid ex-husband and certainly not JMR.

We see each other every day as I walk from the parking lot to my office, we say good morning and we chat about whatever comes up.  He is what I think a gentleman should be, both respectful and strong, courteous and kind, good with words and gentle in the soul.   The only problem is, he has the same name as my stupid ex-husband, but I think after the impromptu poem I can forgive that flaw in the guy.

My DIY Attempt Has Begun

Yeah, yeah don’t rub it in….

Yes ladies and gents, I’m a homeowner now and I’m still trying to arrange my house, clean what I need to, throw away what I don’t need and do some “fixer-upper” type things around the house.  One thing I do need to do is paint, every single room in my house has ONE ACCENT wall that’s green.  The previous owner used the house as a rental property and I guess when the last tenant moved out he did some half-assed designing.  When I say green I don’t mean a subtle sage green, or a soothing succulent type green.  No, the motherfucker thought he was being brilliant and painted one wall in each room a fucking 1970’s avocado green, you know like the appliances that were available at the time?  Yeah, that kind of green, although JMR said it was sage green when he showed me the house but I beg to differ.

So I’ve begun that task of taking paint swatches from Lowe’s and painting one of the white walls in the spare room with small spots of different shades of paint I might like. 

But that’s going to have to wait, because there are more pressing matters that need my attention at the moment.  I need to try and change out the master bath’s vanity/sink combo, because again the previous owner probably was a cheapskate like my previous landlord and bought a vanity/sink that only a goddamned kindergartener would use.  It’s tiny, and by tiny I mean the fucking sink is only 17 inches wide, with no counter space whatsoever!!! Replacing that is my priority right now because there is no way I can wash my face, brush my teeth or even try and get ready every morning over that tiny sink that was made for a fucking Oompa-loompa.  Charlie sits there snickering at me as I try in vain to fill the sink with water (which is about the amount of a small Dixie cup) to wash my face every afternoon when I get home from work.  I’ve hit my forehead countless times because although the sink is miniscule, the fucking faucet isn’t, so the entire fucking thing is disproportionate.  The sink is child size but the faucet is normal and how in the FUCK does that make sense?!?!  I could use the hall bathroom I suppose but that guess what?  That fucking bathroom doesn’t have any electrical outlets near the sink……..FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Okay back to my DIY phase of fixing up my home, I’m going to attempt to change the vanity/sink in my master bath but then my master bedroom is probably THE smallest room in the house.  I plan to (eventually) make the master and 4th bedroom into one huge master suite.  I’m going to knock down the wall dividing the two and make it HUGE, with a walk in closet and bigger master bath.  I’m going to start taking pictures of my work and progress to post them, so I can have a record of what I’ve done to my, soon to be beautiful house.  It’s definitely a diamond in the rough.

FHA and VA Loans Aren’t Qualified for Re-casting, Like Seriously Why The Fuck Not?!?!

To JMR’s credit, he did give me some very sound advice, this was before our disastrous date of course.  He gave me a folder with a lot of mortgage information which included how to re-cast your mortgage by giving a big old payment towards your principle.  And seeing as there is a bill which might give new homeowners up to a $15K tax credit for purchasing a home in 2021, but it has to pass congress and we all know that might take forever for it to become a law.  I thought why not? I thought I’d give about $9k to the principle and then have the mortgage company re-cast my amortization schedule with a lower payment.  This way I’d have a little bit more equity in my home and every year for twelve years I’d give $2500 towards my principle and pay off my house in about twelve to fifteen years.  That’s what I thought anyway, after going through all of the information JMR gave me I did some research online and found out FHA and VA mortgages don’t qualify for re-casting unless we wait four years and refinance.  It’s not that I wanted to do this right away, because I have an FHA mortgage I know I have to abide by the regulations for at least four years before I can re-cast or at this point refinance so I can recast my loan. But right now I’m like…………what-fucking-ever….

Dante and Cleopatra…..My Neighbors

I managed to meet two Pit Bull doggos that ran past me on the first day of the move.  They were blurs for a split second and then one of them came back and stood staring at me as I prayed out loud “please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me” over and over.  Then he cocked his head to one side as if to say “Relax lady, I’m not the killing kind, I’m just running free from my owner because the dude left the side gate open, and we don’t get to run free very often.”  Then I guess he saw me relax and walked towards me and I bent down to pet him and he went all friendly canine on me.  Licking me as he sat in my front yard taking a small break.  I looked at his collar and tag and saw his name is Dante.  I started to call him by his name and right then his owner ran up to me and out of breath said “Oh my gawd, thank you for holding him!” 

Dante’s human’s name is Josh, he took Dante from the collar that’s when Cleopatra ran back by, a pale gray blur and then Josh yelled “Cleo!! Come here!” and she made a hard break and came back to my yard.  She too came up to me and started wagging her tail and licking my face….I had dog slobber all over me.  But, the doggos were nice, and now when I see them jet past my fence I yell out to them and hold them for their human.  But that day when I walked into the house Charlie yelled at me…

Charlie: Meow you have canine scent on you human, explain yourself!

Me: It’s just the neighbor’s dogs Dante and Cleo…

Charlie: Meow, likely story, first you move me here to the mountain.  I had to leave meow Kat Fight Klub crew back in the old neighborhood and now you expect me to believe you don’t have a canine?

Me: I don’t have a canine Charlie, it’s the neighbor’s dogs!

Charlie: Meow be very careful human, this is treason!  He said as he sharpened his claws with one of my nail files.

So to summarize my post, I have jiggly bits all over my body which suck because I don’t remember them jiggling at all a couple of years ago.  There’s a poet gardener who makes my day every morning I see him.  I have horrid, puke green walls and a microscopic sink in my master bath, where my cat sits to watch and laugh at me as I hit my forehead trying to navigate the sink from Oompa Loompa land.  And I can’t re-cast my mortgage until four years from now.  The only neighbors I’ve met are Dante and Cleo, and they seem to be good cookies or should I say doggy biscuits.  And my cat is suspicious of me having a dog.  But as of yet, I haven’t found that any of my human neighbors are assholes….…yet. 

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Will This Nightmare Ever End….or Will I Kill My Son Before He Moves Into His House?

Lunch with Freddy Kruger would be more pleasant than having to move crap, junk and trash from the rental house to mine and my son’s home.  Seriously the arguments of whose crap it belongs to, began to get on my fucking nerves because clearly, it’s mostly his shit.  You want to know the difference between crap, junk and trash, let me enlighten you, here I go.

That’s what he kept saying over and over as I threw my five-thousand bag of crap at him…

Junk – these are things that belong to someone else (my son) that aren’t really good for anything but he decides to keep it anyway,  For example, in the garage cabinets that are over the washer dryer area, I found eight, count them, eight sets of FUCKING SPARK PLUGS!!  Yes, used spark plugs for his car and truck, why he choose to keep them, I don’t know but its crap.  Also, I found four oil filter wrenches, because apparently he was never able to find the one’s he previously had, you know, because they were swallowed up by all that crap he had in MY GARAGE!  Not to mention countless computer cables, remote controls, six bags of zip ties (because he kept losing them) and nine pairs of mechanics gloves.  Apparently my son has a serious problem, when he can’t find something he just goes out to buy another one of what he’s “lost.”

No seriously…..I’m about to snap his neck!

Crap – this is stuff that belongs to my son as well, but this are things that he uses but not on a daily basis, for example, he has three electric toothbrushes, why?  I couldn’t tell you, but it seems that my son’s Junk/Crap/Trash monster keeps taking shit from him and hiding it in weird places like the garage or in the spare bedroom closet or the bottom of his laundry hamper.  Or, hey how about the fact that I found three pairs of old work boots that he “saved” to use when he was supposed to work on the yard or his car or whatever.  The mofo wouldn’t let me donate them to Goodwill because “they were still in good condition and usable.”  And did he use them?  No, no he motherfucking didn’t!  Or how about the dozens of quarts of motor oil containers (some empty and some new) that I found throughout the garage, swallowed by his Junk/Crap/Trash monster?  Other crap I found that belongs to my son, clothes that he doesn’t use but swears (not as much as I have though honestly) he’ll fit into as soon as “His fluffy ass loses weight which will be soon now that he has his own house to workout in” his exact words not mine.  Old light fixtures, broken lamps, one broken lawn chair, two custom made wooden chairs that have never been used and an electric skillet that according to him is still good despite the non-stick surface being almost all gone.

Trash – Now I’m going to say that there is definitely a fine line between junk and trash, according to my son anyway, to me trash is fucking trash.  For example, boxes….so many fucking empty Amazon boxes all over the garage.  Some flattened as I had requested he do because they were swallowing up every fucking thing, and some just thrown on top of each other.  Some of those boxes came in handy for the move but believe it or not, some were too small to use for us to move.  Why he saves the boxes from shit he orders from Amazon? He said “Well, you never know when I might have to send anything back in case it doesn’t work.”  I thought to myself, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

What can I say? It’s the motherfucking truth

In addition to thousands upon thousands of cardboard boxes there were tons of plastic bags that belonged to shit that were, at one point, in the cardboard boxes.  I packed up two large trash bags with countless plastic bags of all shapes and sizes. 

It’s been almost a month and I’m still not done!!! Yes ladies and gents, my son is a fucking hoarder and I didn’t know how bad his condition was until this week when we were STILL FUCKING PACKING, CLEANING AND MOVING shit from the rental house to each of our respective homes!!!  Even trash because we’re going to have to get rid of that shit little by little since there is no trash pickup at the rental home address because I transferred service to my new house.  I want to finally get the hell out of there, go turn in the keys and just LEAVE…..so, as of today I’m still going every day after work to pack up crap, junk and trash so I can surrender the property and be done with any ties with the horrific landlord and the mediocre property management company she uses.  I’ll keep you posted, this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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It’s Just A Job and Other Happenings In the Huntress’ World This Week

Since the beginning of June, the reporting structure has changed.  I no longer report to my vice president “directly” I report to Fake Supervisor now.  All of us do, and while that might sound all good and whatnot it’s caused strife among some of us in the office.  When Fake Supervisor sent us the email about no longer working “COVID” schedules (technically she was the only one, everyone else worked 40 hrs a week in person because her lazy ass worked from home three days a week) she also mentioned that the reporting structure had changed.  We would report directly to her and a dotted line report to our VPs.  I forwarded the email to my VP and asked her if she was okay with this, and of course she didn’t respond.  But told me in person that Fake Supervisor told her that she needed control of all of us because we weren’t telling her first when we would be taking vacation time or time off in general.  She wanted to have “a more accurate administrative oversight” over people in the President’s office.  To me it just sounded like she wants to be in control of everyone because her fat ass is insecure.

I was shocked, but then something happened, my VP changed.  And not for the better either, I’m talking bipolar, ass-kissing, spineless bitch kind of change.  She use to bash Fake Supervisor for EVERYTHING, the way she dressed, her lack of communication, her manner, she even said once she was “unbecoming of an assistant to the president.”  Now that’s harsh, but now?  Holy two faced bitch Batman!  It’s like she’s her best buddy in the entire world.  She use to bash her continuously and now, they are in each other’s offices, whispering to each other like they’re trying to hide something.  The hypocrisy here could choke a Clydesdale!  And I am not liking what I’m seeing or hearing, but what the fuck can I do, I just bought a house and I’m stuck here.   So after seeing this entirely different person in my VP, I decided I’m not going to confide anything to my boss anymore.  Not that I use to tell her a lot of my personal life, but she used to LOVE to gossip about everyone, especially Fake Supervisor, Fake Carol and Impostor.  Trashing them for the way they dressed, which let’s face it could use some improvement.  Fake Supervisor with her moo-moo type dresses, short tops and leggings (which isn’t flattering at all on an obese person, leggings come on people) yes she’s obese and I’m not shaming her either.  She says it’s hard to find clothes that fit her, but that’s bullshit too, because I use to work with a “big girl” at the other university and she dressed in business suits and looked professional.

And Impostor? She shops at second hand stores and it shows, now I’m not bashing that fact either because I shop there too but I look for stuff that’s nice, almost new or even new.  Hell I found one of my Calvin Klein dresses there.  But Impostor wears faded “colored jeans” which supposedly we’re not supposed to wear during the week.  She has clothes that you can see the fuzz balls attached, they are faded, dirty or so thin because it’s that used you can see skin, yes skin! She has a pair of boots that’s about to fall apart, their torn and have pieces of leather just hanging there.  She dresses like shit, plain and simple and so does Fake Supervisor, but what the hell can I do?  I’m now afraid that my VP is bashing me behind my back, I can’t trust her anymore and she was so cool the first six months when I started. 

Now? It’s all the backstabbing and hypocrisy that is making me dread coming to work.  Impostor use to talk to me but she stopped and I can’t tell you why because I came back from moving into my new house to find her that way.  So, I deduce that my stupid bipolar boss said something she shouldn’t have because that’s the only thing I can think of.  Or maybe, Impostor is kissing Fake Supervisor’s ass because I found out she’s getting a $15K raise and does next to NOTHING to deserve it.  Okay I know how that sounds but its true, Impostor #2 and I actually DO work.  I’m helping out two other departments, taking on three different roles.  I hardly have any time to just sit and talk or bullshit with anyone because I’m doing something for the other two people I was asked to help.  Impostor #2 is getting to learn the ropes of being an EA to her VP and working with everyone under her boos.  And Impostor? She spends her time in Fake Supervisor’s office for hours at a time, she watches YouTube videos for hours on end.  She takes personal phone calls (for more than 45 mins at a time) from her mom, sister and ungrateful daughter.  How do I know she has an ungrateful daughter? 

Because SHE FUCKING YELLS IT OUT LOUD AND WE CAN ALL HEAR HER!!  It’s embarrassing, not to mention unprofessional.  She takes off with Fake Supervisor for two to three hour lunches, while everyone else is told to keep it to an hour or hour and a half.  So I suppose it pays to kiss Fake Supervisor’s BIG FAT ASS if she’s gotten a raise out it.  And not a small one either, in the meantime I’m here doing my job (and other peoples jobs as well) and I’m wondering if my VP even thought of putting me in for a raise?  I’m not holding my breath that’s for damned sure and I wanted so much for my VP to mentor me as she said she was going to do.  But I’m not sure I want her as a mentor if she flip-flops on who she thinks is worthy of the bashing she does.  I use to love my job and my VP, but now not so much, because she told me that I needed to be nice to people under her.  In the beginning she told President Cutie Pie I took real good care of her, and that I was her first line of defense for her with everyone that reports to her.  Now, I’m at a complete loss as the change in her attitude, because we worked very well together.  But being told to be nice to Fake Buzz McCallister and Fake Bob Pinciotti is pushing beyond the limits of even what I can take.  Shouldn’t this be reciprocal? And shouldn’t she talk to these assholes and tell them to be nice too?

I came back from my time off and found Impostor stopped talking to me, the change was palpable, not to mention disturbing and when I approached my VP about it, her response?  “Well, what did YOU DO to make her change her attitude towards you?” I sat there biting my tongue almost drawing blood thinking to myself, you skinny, bipolar, fucking bitch, are you serious right now?  Yes I was really thinking that, and it was EXTREMELY hard not to forge ahead with my response of “Why would you assume it was something I did?”  I sat there in her office, me screaming inside, keeping it together instead of lunging at her and snapping her neck like a goddamned chicken bone, and pulling every single annoying curl out of the top of her flip-flopping, bipolar, trash-bashing little head!   But keep it together I did, and managed to keep my facial expressions as normal as possible.  I thanked her boney ass and got up and left her office.  That afternoon I thought to myself I should stop and talk to Impostor, as she passes by my office all damned day long to go and sit and talk to Fake Supervisor.  She also has to pass by my office when she has to use the ladies room because it’s on the other end of the hall.  So I tried to stop her and asked if she had a minute to talk, so that I could address whatever seems to be going on.  I said “Hey Impostor do you have a minute?” and she said “Um…no” and walked off towards her office. 

I was furious and I’m definitely thinking my stupid bird brained boss might have said something to her, either something I never actually said or if I did she must have said it out of context.  Either way the office is now one huge emotional tropical storm.  Impostor is avoiding me, my boss is being a fucking bipolar, hypocritical, gossiping bitch from hell  Now my VP and Fake Supervisor are BFF’s all of a sudden and Impostor #2 and I are on the outside looking in. 

I HATE this kind of work environment but, I left that when I left my previous department behind, or so I thought.  I never in my wildest dreams believe that the best job I’ve ever had was a short term situation and that office politics would play into how I work in my job now.  It was as I suspected, too good to be true and a boss whom I thought was a total badass turned out to be a wishy-washy, ass kissing bitch.  So, I do what I’m told, help who I need to and come to work and don’t engage with anyone one other than Impostor #2, and even then we don’t allow anyone to know we’re talking to each other.  I hate ass-kissing in any form, and I’ve never engaged in it because it’s still hypocritical and that isn’t something I tolerate well. We get told to do something and that these are the rules, then Fake Supervisor and Impostor do the exact opposite.  I’m too old to be going through this shit, and it pisses me of to no end that I have to endure it, especially since I just bought my house.

Did I mention that both of my so-called bosses will be on vacation for the next two weeks? Now, that’s what I call a vacation for emotional and mental health, on my part not theirs. I could hope that one gets stranded in Iceland for the couple of months and the other sinks the boat she’ll be on in New Orleans. Yes, yes I know that’s mean but, don’t y’all know me by now?

My Son’s Moving INTO HIS OWN HOUSE Y’ALL!!!

My son closed on his house on Tuesday of last week, and he got the keys the next afternoon.  He’s taken vacation time in order to move his stuff out of the rental house to his.  Believe it or not, I still haven’t finished moving, the garage is almost cleaned out (mostly crap that my son has) and I only have the bottom of my closet, the closet in the spare bedroom and the closet in the foyer.  Oh and what’s in the storage shed in the back yard.  I’m so very proud of him and that he took my advice and bought a house when he had the chance and the means to do so. 

My Baby Got Into the Fire Academy!!!

My youngest finally finished all the classes he needed to and got into the fire academy.  Which is a fast track into the Fire Department, my baby is going to be a FIREFIGHTER Y’ALL!!!

My Middle Son Started College….FINALLY!

My middle son picked up where he left off back in 2007, when he graduated and began his freshman year that summer.  He didn’t do well and actually flunked out after his first semester, the one child that school came easy for, the one that didn’t struggle with any subject flunked out in his first semester with four F’s and one A.  Fourteen years later he started school again, this time online and at Purdue, but I have no doubt that he’s more motivated now than he was then. 

Plain Evil, Bad Tenant Or AM I?

I’ve been trying to get the hell out of the rental house for about three weeks now, but my new house isn’t near the old house.  It’s actually 19 miles away from where I use to live and the drive is about 20 mins.  So after the movers moved the big stuff (furniture and washer/dryer) I still have boxes of crap to move.  Not to mention my clothes, shoes and everything else (lawnmowers, Christmas tree, gardening tools, boxes of shit I’d decided to save for some odd reason.)  Anyway the property management company sent me a checklist of what I was “supposed” to do when I moved out, which includes professionally cleaning the 39 year old, falling apart (literally) at the seams carpet, washing the walls, cleaning the window sills, washing the windows can cleaning the front and back yards.  Now, I’m thinking that they are REALLY asking a lot, I’m not a pig and the house isn’t in bad condition other than it being dusty.  After we moved the bedrooms there were dust bunnies the size of my actual cat under there.  But, after I got the email from the property management company I thought to myself…..HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING NO!!! I thought, I’m going to extend the same curtesy that they and the landlord extend to me while I was living there.

After 14 ½ years of being a very good and patient tenant, and enduring the tight-fisted, money grubbing, penny pinching, nickel shitting bitch that is that Filipina landlord.  I decided I wasn’t going to comply with the “move out checklist.”  I certainly wasn’t going to pay up to $100 dollars for having a carpet, that I tried to have cleaned in years past but the three of the companies I asked for a quote said that they wouldn’t attempt to clean it in fear it would fall apart.  The other said they would but I had to sign a waiver that if the carpet was damaged I wouldn’t hold them responsible.  I couldn’t do that, it wasn’t my fucking house, I forwarded those to the property management company.  I’ve transferred the utilities to my new house, so the rental doesn’t have any electricity, water or gas.  And I’m thinking to myself, after everything I went through and NOT ONCE faltering on the rent, NOT ONCE! 

I decided I’m not going to bother cleaning the house or the yards.  So does this make me a bad person?  I don’t think so, and here’s why.  Back in 2009 El Paso had a hell of an ice storm, yes you heard that right we had a cold front that resulted in three weeks of the worst weather imaginable, well for El Paso anyway.  It rained constantly in the middle of November, and then it snowed, then a week after the temps fell to below -19 degrees, the constant snow turned to ice.  After the hail storm the rental house roof began to leak, to which I reported to the property management company.  Who in turned told the cheap-ass Filipina bitch, and a couple of days later the insurance adjuster arrived.  Then everything went back to normal until the next spring when the rains came again and the roof began to leak.  I know the bitch got a check from the insurance company to replace the roof, but she didn’t.  Instead when I complained to the property management company, the contacted her and then she, her fucking sister and her sister’s husband showed up to fix it themselves.  Did it work? Of course it fucking didn’t, the roof began to leak in other places, after that as well. It had first started in the dining area and soon the house was leaking in the hallway, the hall bathroom, dining area and garage.

The roof was finally replaced in 2014, five fucking years later and only, I suspect, after the property management company pressured her to do so. Then there was the great water heater disaster of 2011.  I woke up to get ready for work and found that when I walked into the hallway the carpet was “squishy.”  And not to mention wet, and that’s when I realized the water heater had busted.  Again I called the property management company, who called the landlord, who in turned sent her cheap ass Filipino plumber.  He changed out the water heater with a used water heater.  Which was all fine and good….until that one broke four months later and again I called the property management company, who finally sent an actual plumber from a plumbing company.  He bought a brand new water heater and installed it.  After that it was one fucking pain in the ass after another, and finally last November when she decided to paint the house while I was on vacation during the holidays and my mom fell over the fucking ladders she left RIGHT BY THE BACK DOOR, I had had enough. That’s when I decided come hell or high water I needed to get the fuck out her house and into my own!

So, after 14 ½ year of paying rent on time (even when I didn’t have a job) and not getting the appropriate maintenance in return, I figured that not cleaning the carpet (which would fall apart mind you) the windows (which are falling out of their panes) or the entire house (which is just dust really) and yards (due to the recent rains they look like jungles) isn’t such a bad thing.  They can keep the fucking deposit and pay someone to do all that shit for the next tenant, I’m officially done with that property.  Now, the house itself has been a great little home for me and my boys and I will always remember the good and bad times we had there.  But, I have my own house now, and I need to concentrate on making it my HOME. 

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Meh….I’m Not Impressed. But Then Again Maybe Neither Was He

I had mentioned in my previous post that JMR had called to tell me about his dog mauling mishap.  At first I was skeptical because, guys have used all kinds of excuses to get out of a date.  So when he called me on Weds to tell me he’d like to go out that Friday I let him talk and tell me why.  He explained that he got hurt trying to separate his three dogs, okay his daughter’s two dogs and his dog.  His dog is a pit bull but he says normally she’s a gentle pet.  Anyway we talked for over 45 mins that day and he asked me if I’d like to reschedule for that coming Friday?  I said okay and he asked if I’d like to go to the Italian Kitchen which is a local Italian spot.  It’s famous for its chicken Angelo and I hadn’t been there in literally decades.  I said yes, and we were set for Friday at 6:30 (which I found odd because it was a bit early for me and the fact that he didn’t give me a choice as to where I wanted to have dinner seemed kind of selfish but okay) and I made plans to go all the way back home, change and spruce myself up and drive back to central El Paso to meet him at the restaurant.

He Said He Was A Chivalrous Gentleman….NOT

Yes, he asked to meet me there because he had a house showing at 4:30 in the upper valley.  I didn’t question it although I did think since he asked he should have offered to pick me up since we only live about eight blocks from each other.  I got to the restaurant around 6:15 and he sent me a text as I turned the corner where the restaurant is located at.  He told me that there was parking in back of the restaurant and that he was already there.  It did bother me that he was already there and that he didn’t offer to wait for me out front, but okay maybe it’s just me.  As I walked into the restaurant I walked past the foyer and into the dining area and he was seated right by the bathroom doors.  I didn’t say anything but this is a less than attractive place to sit in a restaurant.  He said hi as I approached the table and sat down, it was hot and humid and I was thinking my makeup was melting off my face.  He said that the waiter told him the AC has been on the fritz and that we could go out and sit on the patio where they had water misters and fans to stay cool.  But JMR said he’d gone out there and it was packed. 

Okay by this point I’m getting pretty annoyed, and thought to myself why can’t we just go somewhere else, right?  But I didn’t say anything because other than our interactions with the purchase of my house, I didn’t know too much about him other than what he divulged that day at the pub.  So I kept my mouth shut and smiled as he started to joke about the heat and humidity.  I was sweating like a pig, in my nice little black dress and high heels.   We ordered and then we talked about everything other than his or my work, finding out that other than a recovering alcoholic he’s also a recovering drug addict.  I was blown away because normally I try not to judge anyone on their past because I’ve been on that end.  Specifically about Lestat and his marital status and me being labeled “the other woman.”  As the night went on and the heat and humidity seemed to get worse, I was physically uncomfortable.  He seemed to be comfortable talking about himself and not once asked me about myself, he never once asked where I grew up, what I did, how many siblings I had, or anything personal.  This wasn’t a good sign, to me this seems to be a person who hasn’t been in a long term relationship and if he has, it didn’t last because of his lack of interest in the person he’s in the relationship with.  Then he showed me his hand and I saw that he was recovering from the dog bite/mauling and had thirteen stitches from his wrist to his index finger

Patience Isn’t MY Virtue

But I sat patiently listening, waiting for him to ask me something the pertained to me, downing my fourth glass of iced tea because it was so fucking hot, thinking I normally interject with stuff about myself if I’m comfortable with the person.  But I choose not to with JMR, I just heard him talk more about himself, his time with the Marines, his daughter, his dogs, how he started drinking at the age of 5 (yes, you heard that right, his dad started giving him alcohol at the AGE OF FIVE YEARS OLD!) How he’s never been married (actually he mentioned this a lot, and I do mean a lot.)  I wasn’t sure if he was trying to hammer home the fact that he never wanted to get married or that he might be looking for someone to settle down with.  Either way, I caught onto this statement of his as I sat there feeling uncomfortable as hell, listening to him talk about…himself…..still.

Great Advice….In Spite of…

We sat there for three hours after we’d finished dinner, dessert and coffee (as hot as it was I fucking had coffee.)  I can’t say “we” talked because it was mostly him, but he did give me some great advice about shit going on at work.  I told him that changes have been happening at work and not for the best, the reporting structure has changed and now Impostor is being a total bitch.   I came back from my time off to find she’s not talking to me, she’s spending a lot of time with Fake Supervisor.  Whom she’s bashed about her leadership skills, the way she dresses, how she manages the office etc.  Impostor has gone on and on about how Fake Supervisor bullied her and even threatened her to try to keep her grasp on the people under her.  Which we weren’t actually until the beginning of June when we came back from a weekend to an email from Fake Supervisor saying that we were going back to normal operations from the COVID schedule we’d been on.  Which wasn’t new to me, I’d been at my job 100% even before the transition back.  It was Fake Supervisor who “worked from home” three days out of the week.  Talk about hypocrisy.  Anyway I told him about how Impostor was acting and that it caught me off guard and how awkward it’s been since then.  He asked me if I had to work with her on a daily basis to do my job, I said no.  He asked if it affected my job on a daily basis that we didn’t communicate and I said no.  He asked if we were actual friends outside of work and I said no.  Then he said something that totally blew me away.

He explained that coworkers aren’t friends, and as tempted as we are to see them as that because we spend more time with them than our families sometimes, we need to keep it professional.  He said that friendships at work with coworkers are artificial/superficial and to keep from getting swallowed by a pretend friendship is to keep it a work relationship.  Then he said that Impostor has gained something from Fake Supervisor in terms of her job, which is true.  I found out she’s getting a $15K raise, and he pointed out that it’s to Impostors benefit to be Fake Supervisor’s new best friend.

He also said never talk about your personal life (which for the most part I hadn’t other than telling my VP that I was buying a house) and stay away from any socializing, gossip or bashing anyone in the office. I told him about my VP as well and how she’s totally changed since the new reporting structure changed and I explained how she too use to bash Fake Supervisor about the way she dressed, her lack of communication and leadership, how she’s a disgrace to the office of the President.  And that she’s now in there behind closed doors gossiping about other VP’s and that’s caught me totally off guard. 

He said that my VP lacks integrity if she’s gossiping about other vice presidents to someone like Fake Supervisor.  He asked if I confided in my VP and I told him I use to, but I stopped when I saw how much she’s changed.  He said that was a good thing and to remember we get paid to go and do a job, not to go and socialize and make friends.  He sent me an email with a couple of audio books to keep from stressing myself out about things and people at work.  Now that, I appreciated.

Expectations….They’re Overrated….

As we got ready to leave he said he’d walk me to my car parked in back of the restaurant, it felt awkward because there was tension between us as we walked close to each other.  Or maybe it was just me. But I was still sweating up a storm (I know I’ve said this a lot but fuck it was hot and I couldn’t feel comfortable at any point) and surprised he hadn’t noticed, but men don’t really notice shit like that do they?

We talked another half hour by my car, all about him and how he’s been told how he takes over conversations (really? Never noticed that) and how he also comes off as being a downer (apparently his sister’s told him that.) I was wearing high heels and my feet were killing me standing there for half an hour and then I said I’d give him a ride to his truck which was parked in front of the restaurant.  I drove him around the corner and parked right behind his black Toyota Tundra.  I thanked him for dinner, he said “you’re welcome” and he had fun and that we should do this again.  I agreed (don’t ask me why I said that) and smiled and got out of my car.  I drove away with the air conditioner in my car full blast, trying to stop myself from fucking melting like the Wicked Witch of the West.  All the while wondering if he really meant we should do this again?  And his lack of interest in anything personal about me or asking about my life made me wonder if he was just being nice.  Or even an attempt at a halfhearted hug or small peck on the cheek, after all it was a “date” wasn’t it, or was it?

I got home that night, tired and wondering if I had built this guy up in my head and felt disappointed that he was too self-absorbed not asking about me other than the advice he gave me about work.  I took a shower, had a glass of wine and even though it was late I sat in my living room watching Dateline and 20/20 episodes I’d recorded but hadn’t had time to watch. 

Attempts at Further Dialog Didn’t Pan Out

The next day I spoke to my best friend Impostor #2, and she was all kiddy about me telling her about my date with JMR.  I told her my story and she still felt it was exciting and asked me if we had planned to go out again.  I told him that we didn’t because he’d mentioned he’d be going to Greece in two weeks with his realtor’s group.  He said that they go on two excursions a year, in March they went to Costa Rica.  But that he never told me he’d like to get together when he got back.  Impostor #2 said that I should initiate a conversation via text with JMR to keep the dialog open.  After I got off the phone I said to myself, what’s the worse that could happen?  So I decided to text JMR a short good morning message and included that he never told me about how he makes his famous soup.  He said he makes a good green chile chicken soup the night before at dinner.  I thought it would be great opening for a continuous conversation……..wrong.

All he said was “It’s not famous I just kind of know how to make it.” Which sounded kind of cold and really not interested in continuing the text conversation.  So I responded with an attempt at humor saying “Well any guy that can cook is a rare thing” with a LMAO emoji.  That was Saturday morning and I haven’t heard back from him.  So I decided to just let it go and leave JMR alone with whatever he was doing.

Moving On….Life’s Too Short

On Sunday morning I was going through my texts with JMR (yeah don’t ask me why) and I saw the last attempt at trying to get him to interact with me even if it was via text.  I told myself that I’m not going to try anymore especially if he didn’t ask about me during our date on Friday.  As much as I thought I liked him, he may not be someone I need to have in my life and try to work my way into it his to be that “someone” that could/should be important if we began a relationship with each other.  Yes I’m aware at how far fetched that idea is, and I know that it’s just over thinking the situation. But I deleted all of the texts we sent each other since we started working together when I began my house hunting adventure.  And thought to myself, life’s too short to waste my time on anyone who sends mixed signals all the time as well as constantly telling me he’s never been married.  Like what the fuck is up with that shit?

Grateful In Spite of The No-Second Date Date

One thing I’m grateful for regarding JMR is this, I have been so preoccupied with buying my house and all of the adventures that came about because of it.  I hadn’t thought about Lestat in MONTHS!  Yes, you heard that right this is the first time I hadn’t had a thought of Lestat, even a fleeting one since April.  JMR had me so focused on buying my house and because of his constant flirting, I was devoid of memories or thoughts of Lestat and I’m finally recovered from that narcissistic, self-serving, self-absorbed asshole!!! This is a BREAKTHROUGH!

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Homeownership………….It’s an Adventure

The No-Show Realtor Date

In my last post I mentioned that JMR asked me out to dinner, I had accepted and was a little excited for this date as I hadn’t been out on an actual date since Lestat.  Anyway, we were supposed to have gone out this past Friday, but it never materialized.  I didn’t or should I say don’t keep following up with someone who has asked ME out on a date.  I figure that the guy asked, I accepted and from there on he’ll let me know when, where and what time.  So I figured that since we had such a connection via four Guinness’s, two margaritas and two burgers, he’s be reaching out to me to give me the information as to where our date would take place.  So just because he hadn’t given me any information the day at the pub, I sent him a text on Monday afternoon.  This was in addition to all the stuff I was undertaking in for the move to the new house.  As mentioned, this was Monday afternoon, and soon Tuesday, Weds and Thursday came around and I hadn’t heard from him.  So, as a follow up to Monday’s text, I called him….no answer, so then a few minutes later I sent him a text….nothing.

Friday morning at 3:45am I get a text from him saying that he’s gotten back from the ER because he had his right hand “mauled” by one of his dogs and that if I wasn’t squeamish he’d send a picture of his hand to prove it and that we would need to reschedule our dinner date.  My response?  I just told him I was sorry about what happened, and that for him to take care of his hand.  Whether this was true or not, and him offering proof of what had happened to him may or may not have been a feeble attempt as to why I hadn’t heard from him all week.  Yes, I say feeble attempt because I sent him a text on Monday and I didn’t hear from him until Friday early morning?  Why couldn’t he have just sent me a text or called me? Or why did he wait until he supposedly got back from the ER to let me know we’d have to reschedule?

Either way, I’m not putting any expectation into a thing that hasn’t even turned into a “thing” yet. He didn’t even say we’d keep in touch or that he’d call or text me later on in the week/month/year to see when he’d take me out again.

My House Is As Old As I Am

On Weds I spent the first night in my very own home, then cried that night and two nights afterwards because I still wasn’t sure what the fuck I was doing at my age buying a home and not having any clue about home ownership or all the financial responsibilities it entailed. No wonder the house is in need of some repairs, I’d be cranky too if I needed to be cared for.

On Friday I went early to go clean the house and get it as sanitary as I possibly could because on Wednesday the movers would be bringing all the furniture.  That day, as I swept and mopped all 1631 square feet of my house, as I cussed and regretted for a split second buying a house that big, I had the electricity come on.  I thanked God for that utilities being transferred finally and turned on all the ceiling fans in the house since the AC wasn’t on yet.  The person I contacted about coming to turn on the AC said he’d be there that afternoon.  Sure enough at 1:30 he showed up and we introduced ourselves and then caught his last name was JMR’s last name.  I asked if there was a connection and he said “Oh, yeah! He’s my cousin” and thought to myself, of course he is.  Then he climbed onto the roof and after about 20 mins he came back down and told me, the pump, motor and pads had to be replaced.  It’s a damned Master Cool and I know those stupid cardboard pads cost in the hundreds depending on the size.  He told me it would be about $250 to get it going.  It was 99 degrees that day and I was sweating up a storm, I was soaked in sweat because not only was it hotter than the devil’s crotch, it was humid due to all the rain we’d gotten in the last few days.

I gave him the okay and off he went to go get the supplies needed to fix my AC.  It took him two hours to replace and start the unit.  When he came back down he told me that he’d strongly recommend that I replace that unit before next summer because although he could start it up, it would only last me a couple of more years.  He’s a really nice guy, and he told me that if I decided to replace the unit he’d finance it for me so I didn’t have to pay for the entire thing out of pocket.  Then he opened up the closet where the heater is and said “Ummm, you may need to convert to refrigeration/heating instead.”  I almost fainted…because he said that the heater might not start up for the winter but that he’d be back around the end of October or early November to check it out.

I did a bit of research on my house and found out it was built in September of 1969, it’s as old as I am, okay the house is month older than I am but I’m pretty sure all the windows are as old as the house.  Oh you’re all wondering why I say that.   Maybe it was the thunderous rain and hail storm we had this past Sunday and EVERY SINGLE WINDOW IN THE HOUSE LEAKED, ALL TWELVE WINDOWS!!!  I have twelve windows *as I mutter every curse word known to man* and said to myself “you wanted a big house, you should have thought about this more, and twelve widows is a lot to replace, how about you kick yourself right now.”  The wind was hella-strong as I live up near the mountain now, and as water slowly made its way through every window and my son and I were grabbing towels of every size to put up against them.  I started to cry…again, not regretting purchasing the home…but because of all the money I’ll be putting into this house.  My son hugged me as he laughed and said “Don’t worry mom, you’ll have this house exactly how you want it in a couple of years, and then you’ll be happy.  I’m very proud of you mom.”  And I cried even harder, my son is proud of me.  Then, I realized that the slant on the back and front yards is TOWARDS the house not away from it!  The water started to pool and I prayed as hard as I could that the water wouldn’t reach up to the doors and that this will be another HUGE project I need to undertake so that can be fixed as well.

But I have to admit, the view from where I live now is awesome…

Northeast Franklin Mountains. The poppy’s bloom in the spring and the mountain is covered in yellow and purple flowers.

My Son Is Closing On His House

My son told me on Friday that Mortgage Bitch Lady let him know he’d be closing on Friday!! I’m so excited for him, one because he has a newer house (but wayyyy smaller than mine) and that two, he’ll have refrigerated air so he doesn’t have to deal with what I’m currently going through.  But he’ll be living on the opposite side of town, and it’s about 19 miles away from my new house.  I’m so very proud of my son and everything he’s helped me with. 

My Boys Are AWESOME

On Thursday afternoon I get a knock on the door, my son was at work and I don’t know anyone in the neighborhood yet, so I was surprised.  I opened the door, all sweaty, dirty and with a huge headache to find a crew of three guys from Vivint telling me they were there to install two cameras, motion sensors and a video doorbell.  I laughed out loud and said they probably had the wrong address because I hadn’t ordered any such service.  One of the men looked at his clipboard and said “This is *Blah, blah* address, and you are Ms. Huntress, correct?”  And I said that I was but I hadn’t ordered anything to be installed at my house and that there must be a mistake.  He said to me that the equipment and service had been paid for, I was still confused not to mention my headache getting stronger by the second.  Then he said to give him a minute and he took out his phone for a call.  Then he came back to the door and handed me his cell phone and I said “Hello?”  And my oldest came on the phone and said “Okay can you stop being a pain in the ass and let them install the security system please?  Me and the guys paid for it so we know your safe when I move out, so just let them in and they can get started because it’s going to take about two hours.”

My son told me to hand the phone back to the installation guy and I did….and I cried for the fiftieth time that week.  My boys paid for a Vivint security and video doorbell system because I’ll be living alone for the first time in five years.  They were worried about me being by myself, and they all chipped in to get me the service, for their peace of mind as they put it.  Little do they know that it’s not that they have to be worried about me, more that I may be the one the neighbors have to worry about, *insert evil laugh here.* 

Speaking of being worried, I came back to work after a week off to move to my new house and was told (again) I have anger management issues, okay not so much anger management issues but, I need to learn to be “nice.” But that’s for another post entirely.

My Cat Didn’t Like The New House

On Weds I finally transferred my cat to the new house. He spent the day behind the couch as he didn’t really want to explore. That night he finally came out and was walking close to the ground, wandering around the huge house he now lives in. After we went to bed, he cried all night and my son let him onto his bed so he could fall asleep. Well apparently my son didn’t sleep but Charlie did, and in the morning my son drank almost a pot of coffee all by himself. The following night, Charlie cried all night again, so I got up to go to the living room, turned on the lamp and television so I could stay up with him and make him feel at ease. We both woke up after my son came to tell me he was leaving for work. I was exhausted and still needed to finish unpacking and putting things away. My cat? That mofo slept all day long on the couch, and as mad as I was I let him.

My middle son told me to give him some nip and let him relax. So I did just that…..

This is my cat….
This is my cat on nip…

……to be continued.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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The Nightmare Is Almost Over……..I Think

The Late, Great Huntress and Overly Sarcastic Realtor

With all the drama that happened last week over the most minute issues from my in depth, IRS/CIA/FBI background check and me getting the underwriters their answers.  I found myself waiting anxiously over the weekend.  Then yesterday around 11:45am I get a call from my realtor JMR to let me know we had an appointment at the title company that afternoon so sign the closing documents.  I wasn’t all too convinced that this was the truth since I hadn’t gotten an update CD from them with the new down payment amount. 

I know exactly how you feel there buddy

I am very skeptical about the entire home buying process and am not convinced that Satan himself is the underwriter scanning each document and sending them all back.  So when JMR told me to go get the down payment (cashier’s check of course) and to meet him at the title company by 4pm.  I was beginning to realize that, “OMG this entire nightmare is finally coming to an end!”  Right? WRONG!

Satan and Mother Nature Hate Me For Sure

So, I asked for permission to leave, so I could rush to the bank get the goddamned cashier’s check from my account and all the proof that it came from my account, I began to feel a bit more at ease.  So before I go on, let me just say that El Paso is normally a very hot and dry city.  We don’t get rainfall here more than a couple of days a year.  So, it’s been raining constantly since Sunday afternoon.  I’m talking thunder, lighting, sprinkles then torrential rainfall for more than two days.  I didn’t think nothing of it that is until I got on I-10 headed west because that’s where the title company is located.  It began to rain harder as I left the bank, clutching my purse with the down payment check inside.  As I got onto the freeway I was harshly reminded that people here can’t drive in the rain.  Okay clarification people here can’t drive at all, it’s a serious problem.  But I digress, it’s that they can’t drive in any inclement weather what so ever!  As I passed the downtown exit, traffic came to a complete stand still, it was a fucking parking lot of cars, trucks, 18 wheelers.  I wasn’t moving at all, and I kept looking at the clock on my car radio thinking “Seriously what the fuck could be the problem to hold up this traffic it’s not raining that bad!”

As I sang along to Paul Revere and The Raiders song “Indian Reservation” which is one of my favorite songs, not to mention poignant as well.  I began to think what stupid driving idiot doesn’t know how to drive in this rain that is causing this traffic jam.  My car inched along while rain fell from above and then I get a call from JMR.  He’s asking if I’m stuck in traffic like he is, and I said I was and as time ticked away he said he’d call the title company to let them know we would be a bit late.  He said that if it was the last thing he did he’d get me to close that afternoon.  As I passed the mountain that abuts the University, there was a small landslide of rubble, muddy orange dirt and rocks the size of soccer balls in the middle of the highway.  Traffic was being held up because everyone was veering left to avoid the landslide of water, rock and mud.  It was a nightmare to get past that and we were so late to the title company we didn’t get out of there until way past 5:45pm.

Fast Forward Two Hours, Four Pints of Guinness, Two Margaritas and Two Red and Blue Burgers Later

That’s right, and that’s how we prefer it thank you very much

 As we left the title company two hours late, it was still raining and I stood outside in front of my car getting soaked by all the fucking rain.  JMR said “Well we’re almost done” and I said “Almost?” He responded with “Well the seller needs to get funded, so as soon as that happens, you can have the keys to your house.”  I could feel the rain on my face and the frustration build up, I was very tired and so ready to go and have a couple of cocktails to forget the arduous journey it took to get to this day.  JMR said “Have you eaten yet? I said I hadn’t, having rushed around to get to the closing, he then suggested we go grab something to eat as we both stood there with the rain coming down on us.  “Okay sounds good I’m starving” he said “Leave your car here and I’ll bring you back after we eat” and I agreed.

As we sat in the pub I chugged my pint of Guinness and JMR? He had sparking water with lime, as I came to find out that he’s a recovering alcoholic.  I told him we didn’t have to go to that pub but he insisted that we go because the blue cheese, sun dried tomato burger was the best.  And he was indeed right, it came with shoestring fries, and it was DELISH!

So, after my third Guinness JMR and I began to converse about everything BUT the house I just signed off.  I found out he’s a single dad of an adult daughter, he’s never been married (yeah I know, wtf?) and he’s a Marine that spent 8 years in the Corps.  He was Mr. Chatty all throughout our meal and drinks, and revealed a lot about himself.  Me…not so much.  I have my guard up a bit since Lestat (yes I know I shouldn’t do that to JMR because of that) but it’s a defense mechanism.  So, after my four pints of Guinness and two margaritas (yes it was all me) and the delicious burger, we decided to go home.  I mean each of us to our own homes (I know what you’re thinking River, but it’s not there yet.)  He walked me to my car and it began to rain again.  I swear Satan and Mother Nature were playing chicken with my life as the landslide and rain made it almost impossible to get to my closing.  JMR walked me to my car, and I thanked him for everything he’d done and putting up with my sarcasm and attitude.  He said it had been a pleasure (I know he’s lying) because we’d gotten into so many “discussions” regarding houses, location and him standing me up once for a showing I know it wasn’t so much a pleasure for the poor guy.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

As we tried to say a very awkward good bye, JMR hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.  I hugged him back and thanked him again for putting up with me as it began to rain softly.  That’s when he said “Oh, by the way did you know you’ll be my neighbor?”  I did a double take and said “What?!”  He laughed and said “Yeah, I live in the same neighborhood you’re going to live in.  I live about eight blocks from your new house.” It seemed the rain came down harder as I stood there in disbelief and a bit shocked.  Thunder from above cracked, I could see the lighting flash in my car windshield as I tried to process what he was telling me about being his neighbor……..and then he asked me to dinner.

Homeownership…..It’s An Adventure

After two excruciatingly long days I finally got the keys to my house.  I drove there right after work to make sure the roof wasn’t leaking since we’ve been encountering an unusually large amount of rain the last week and a half.  The seller had said that he’d reseal the roof on the house after the inspection found small parts of the roof weren’t going to pass FHA.  So, as I walked through the house taking in the horribly, musty smell of dirt and plastic (yeah I don’t know why?) I began the task of transferring all my utilities to the new address with a week overlap at the rental house so that we could finish moving.  I’m taking next week off for the move, and began to have a COMPLETE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!! I realized that at my age I’m barely buying a house and what the fuck am I doing?  Why the hell did I wait so long? Oh…..yeah his name is Lestat and I thought he hung the moon at the time and believed every fucking lie that came out of his forked tongued mouth.  So, I call the water company to transfer service and after being on hold for about half an hour the customer service rep tells me that there’s a hold on that property for service because of an outstanding balance of $1100.  I yelled out “what in the hell?!?”  And the customer service rep said “all we need form you ma’am is for you to email a copy of your ID and the fully executed deed/sale contract for the property and we can start service at your new address.”  Oh, well that’s like asking me to go find a gold nugget in a guano mine.  It took forever to close, I haven’t gotten the fully executed paperwork from the mortgage or title company.   Asking Mortgage Bitch Lady for anything at this point is useless.

JMR To The Rescue

I sent him a text asking how long it would take to get copies of the fully executed paperwork and his response, about three to four weeks!!!  He called me and asked me why and I told him, he said “Don’t worry let me call the lady from the title company and see what I can do.  This isn’t impossible okay?”

Well, maybe to him it didn’t seem impossible but to me it’s like going through the home buying process all over again.  About an hour later I get an email from the lady at the title company with the fully executed and notarized deed/contract of sale.  JMR really kept his word, and okay it wasn’t impossible but what can I say?  To be continued

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”