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Skepticism….It’s A Thing

So I had a completely different post written for today, but the last month or so I’ve been on a journey that hasn’t quite turned out like I thought.  So here I go……

Once Upon A Time There Was A Huntress

Who had ventured into purchasing a house two years back that turned into complete and utter shit.  It was the worst experience of my life.  Because I was a first time home buyer that even though I researched what I could regarding buying a house and trying to get as much information as I could on different types of financing.  Ultimately the realtor and mortgage company that I had worked with were to say the least, crap on a cracker!  So, a synopsis of what I went through, I found a realtor who was all gung-ho about helping me buy a house.  She was very helpful (at first) and she put me in touch with the mortgage company she used often.  Well the idiot mortgage/loan officer for the Crap mortgage company was more interested in his upcoming vacation with his son to Cloudcroft NM than paying attention to my stats and getting me approved.  So, before that motherfucker went on vacation he told my realtor that “we were ready to go” and he gave us a price range for a house.  So we began looking, and then I found a beautiful home near where I live now.  It was below what I had supposedly been approved for and then everything went to shit.  The asshole loan officer for the mortgage company came back a week after his vacation and was sucked back into reality and realized that I didn’t qualify for anything because he didn’t take into account my student loans or my median credit score.  You can read more about that here.

So, that was back in 2019 and it was a huge setback for me because I really wanted to get out of the rental house owned by that cheap ass Filipina bitch who maintains it on a damned $10 budget.  So, after two years of fixing what I needed to fix regarding my credit, I finally approached another realtor who has been such a blessing and she guided me in regards to what I needed to do, what documents I had to collect and all the information I would submit.  And after all that……………….I finally GOT APPROVED FOR A HOME LOAN Y’ALL!!!!

And Even Despite This Good News, I’m Skeptical

Okay so that’s the good part of all of this, that I finally found a competent realtor and a caring and not to mention careful loan officer who paid attention to me and all my financial information.   It’s been going on a month now and I’ve yet to find a house that I like or can afford.  THEN my caring and thoughtful realtor had to break some bad new to me.  She told me that she would be going to Florida to help her daughter open her own realty office in Miami.  She said that she had someone in mind to help me with my home hunting journey.  So, I was kind of hesitant to go through all of that again but since most of the work on the financial side had been done.  I took a chance and agreed to meet with the person who would continue helping me look for a house while she traipsed off to sunny Florida to help her daughter. 

She told me this man was her mentor when she began in the business 20 years ago, and that he knew his stuff.  As for me, I had to meet and hear this man for myself to know if that was true, so she arranged for me to meet him at a house listing I had sent her previously.  So she booked us for a showing on a Sunday afternoon on the Far East side of town. 

I got there and he sent me a text me to tell me what he was driving and I met him out front while we waited for the mob of other people to leave the home so we could take our private tour.  We introduced ourselves and he began to give me details about the home.  He said to me that he needed for me to tell him what I wanted in a house and where I preferred to live.  So I did, he took notes and we walked the house.  We spoke for a bit and then left since that house seemed to have been booked all day for showings.  That was more than three weeks ago, since then I’ve put in offers for four homes and in the process I’ve been outbid by people with more money and on two occasions people that came in with cash.   I was beginning to lose hope because I hadn’t found anything in my price range and being out bid by people with more than I had to offer for homes that two years ago would have sold for $25K less than today and was beginning to get really discouraged.  He called me up one day and told me that I sounded a bit down, and I told him the truth about how I might have to wait to find not just something I liked but could afford as well. 

Well maybe not perfect, but he’s trying

Then, he began to give me some really important information that only a seasoned and experienced realtor would give.  He told me that the housing market right now is a sellers’ market, and that homes that were less than 1200 square feet were being price gouged by the owners because there is a lack of inventory right now.   He also advised that I look beyond the side of town that I wanted to find something that I could afford but, that I loved and would make my home there for the rest of my life.  He knew what I was worried about and then reassured me that if I wasn’t ready to continue looking at the moment, he’d be available for when I was.  So, my second realtor whom I’ll call Mr. Irvin, because that’s the high school he graduated from, is not only well versed in this business, he also knows how to gauge people and their enthusiasm or hesitancy in regards to their home buying.  He also said that because of the housing market right now, cash buyers are coming out of the woodwork to just undermine those who have financing.  It’s very competitive to purchase a home at this point in time, and Mr. Irvin asked me if I wanted to wait or keep looking? 

I told him I wanted to keep looking, that’s when he suggested I look in different areas of the city, not just in the neighborhood I live in now.  Two years ago houses in my neighborhood were coming up for sale like weeds.  And now? I’ll be hard pressed to find one like the rental I live in now at a decent price.  So look in another area I did, and even though I grew up in what we call the lower valley.  Moving to a complete other side of the city was never my intention.  To be continued.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Out Of My Comfort Zone……I Think.

My boss has been telling me to get out of my comfort zone for a while now and although she’s a good cookie and means well, I hadn’t thought of what I could do to get out of that comfort zone she says I have.   So, what did she do? She bought a paranormal tour of one of the oldest cemeteries in Texas, a PARANORMAL TOUR people! I thought to myself, what the fuck and why would she think this is the kind of thing I’d like to do to get out of my comfort zone? In any case, she had family visit from out of town last month and she planned an entire weekend around touring Old El Paso and the surrounding areas to learn more about the historic places and such.  She took a paranormal tour of Concordia Cemetery during this time and loved it.  She said the history alone was worth the two hour tour and three mile walk around the cemetery.

She loved it so much, she came into my office with the tickets and said “I paid for this paranormal tour of Concordia for you and ten people.  I had to pay for ten because that’s the least amount of people and it includes security for the tour.  They close off the cemetery for the tour so it’s you and nine other people, have fun!”  The thing is, she did her tour during the day and the one she gave me tickets for was for a night tour of this place that is said to be somewhat haunted.  Even the guys from Ghost Adventures were made to shudder while visiting this place.  This cemetery is in the heart of El Paso, where U.S 54 and I-10 intersect, the cemetery lies right underneath the overpasses that cross each other.  The tour was going to start at 8:30pm just as the sun was to set.  I seriously thought that my boss was testing me as I’ve watched ghost type reality shows but I’ve never expressed the desire to actually go and do this myself.

I had no trouble convincing Imposter to go, she had her twin sister, cousin, her sister’s bff and her daughter join.  My oldest planned to go with me but was called into work that afternoon and he had to work from 3-11pm that day.  My friend Virginia was supposed to go too but, she said it was her son’s birthday and she couldn’t make it.  So out of the ten tickets we had, seven people showed up to the paranormal tour of this very old and historic cemetery.   I was having second thoughts that day because I was still tired from the COVID vaccine clinics we had a week and a half before.  I feel as though I can’t get enough sleep, I need to let my doctor know because I’ve never felt like this. 

In any case, Friday night rolled around and I met the group on the side gates of the cemetery, the lady from Ghosts915 paranormal tours met us there to go over some rules and advice that we should adhere to since she’s experienced actual paranormal activity at the cemetery and other places around El Paso.  I was skeptical that I’d see or hear anything that night but Impostor was elated to say the least.  She loves this stuff, as does my son but mostly I watch from the sidelines interested in the fact that this stuff actually happens sometimes. 

As we walked the cemetery in the dusk of a windy Friday night, the mood got a bit more surreal and the group began experiencing some weird occurrences.  The paranormal guides encouraged us to take pictures with our cell phones, but not to take anything we saw on the ground, headstones or the fence that surrounds this 165 year old patch of hallowed ground.  They introduced us to a variety of paranormal equipment that they use on a regular basis on different tours.  Peter one of the guides handed me what’s called a paranormal puck, it’s a device that works by picking up temperature and/or humidity.  And the lights go off on it if the temperature around it goes cold.  Let’s just say the entire time I held the damned thing, it kept going off.  But that’s probably because my heart is a cold, cold place and my soul is dark as pitch.  No? Not buying it? Oh well you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Impostor also was handed another version of the paranormal puck as well, we were told by all three of the guides not to stand next to each other (Impostor and I) to avoid any misreading of the pucks.  Hmmm, I was skeptical of this because then the pucks might give off false readings?  Okay I went with it, still having doubts about all of this.  So our tour began, and the history of this place is just amazing, the first African-American business woman in El Paso, her name is Ms. Flo, ran two restaurants and owned the biggest department store downtown for a time.  She fell in love with a white man and they couldn’t live or work together, they didn’t have children but they considered themselves married.  When he died he left her $15K and his family found out and sued her to get all of the money he’d left her.   A local judge sided with her and said not only did she deserve the $15K, but he gave her another $5K to boot, you go Lady Flo!!! Here is a picture of her grave marker.

Ms. Flo’s Grave

She’s buried next to the section where the Buffalo Soldiers were said to be buried, and during our walk through, we were encouraged to take pictures as I mentioned before.  I took a lot of pictures but I didn’t review them until Saturday morning.  This is one I took right at the foot of the plot where the Buffalo Soldiers were said to be interred.

Light anomaly or wtf?

Whatever that is or who that is I have no idea, all I know is that when I saw this through my phone as I was taking the picture, there was nothing there.  Then I see these misty question mark shapes right at the marker of the burial plot.  This might very well be residual light or some kind of electronic anomaly.  But, I can’t explain it, so I thought I’d share. This is also a place in the cemetery that, even though the wind was at about 15 to 20 MPH, it was perfectly still. It wasn’t until we moved to another part of the cemetery that I told Impostor and we both were at a loss. Why was the wind perfectly still at this certain place, and blowing normal when we moved?

Then as we made our way to the part of the cemetery where the rich and wealthy were buried at, I took another picture of the headstones in the distance.  Again, this could be the shadow of a headstone or whatever, but it looks to me to be a head and shoulders looking back at the group.

Shadow of a Headstone or creepy shadow head and shoulders?

Right before we began, one of the security guards was running towards the far west side gate to close and lock it.  I happen to take a picture of him when he was running towards the gate, and you can see his legs very clearly and the glow of his flashlight.  But, there is a black mass covering him from the waist up, ghost glob or just a shadow? Who knows?

The guard running to go lock the west side gate.

I would randomly scan the cemetery and click my phone and I caught this next picture, it definitely looks like the outline of someone standing behind that very skinny tree. 

To me it looks like he’s dressed in a long cowboy overcoat with a hat on his head.  This one I can definitely say that I’m sure there was nothing there when I pointed my phone in that direction.  You can even see the glow of the star on the Franklin Mountains in the background. 

The reason I saw it “looks” like a cowboy is that John Wesley Harden is buried here, and people have said that he roams the cemetery, so who knows? A lot of the graves had solar powered lights, don’t ask me why, but directly to the right of the picture you can see one of them at the foot of the headstone.  Now it was really dark so I had my phone on night mode to be able to see where I was pointing to clearly.  That’s why some of the pictures look like they were taken in the day.  But they weren’t, so I’ll let you be the judge of what’s on those pictures I took.

Yes, this was definitely out of my comfort zone because I would have never thought of doing this on my own. But it was worth it because most of the times I spend Friday nights at home, drinking Kahlua out of the bottle watching Ghost Adventures anyway. So this was a real life ghost adventure for me, thanks to my boss.

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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I’m a Rebel Just For the Fuck Of It

The last two weeks our institution has had COVID vaccine clinics for the remaining students, staff and faculty members that were on the third tier of the vaccination list.  I worked an entire week until 9:30pm every night, to say the least I was dragging by Friday night.  And somehow I got wrangled into being the bilingual translator for President Cutie Pie and the Spanish speaking patients that were coming in for the vaccine.  He kept me there by his side (I’m not complaining about being at his side, he is called President Cutie Pie for a reason you know) the entire five days we had this event going on.  Then when he didn’t have patients he’d ask me how something was said in Spanish.  It was kind of fun watching an older white guy trying to learn how to speak Spanish.    I was very much looking forward to a much needed weekend of rest, peace and quiet.  Did that happen? Of course it fucking didn’t, why you ask?  Hmmm, let me see, where do I start?

Rental House Nightmare Continues

The property management company that is “suppose to” do all the maintenance on the house….hasn’t.  They’ve deferred to the owner/landlord to do whatever repairs that house needed because the cheap ass bitch doesn’t want to pay for anything she can do herself.  And I mean it when she does shit herself, so when the contractor that came last week to turn off the heater and turn on the AC told he wasn’t going to be able to turn it on because the electrical was shot, I was to say the least a bit pissed off.  He also told me that he’d told the property management company the last three years that the AC unit needed to be replaced because it’s apparently rotted on the bottom. 

So, he said he took pictures of the unit, sent them to the property management company and they in turn sent them to the landlord.  I knew that this wasn’t going to get resolved until the cheap ass Filipina bitch could come and see it herself and try to fix it herself or hire someone from her idiot Filipino circle to do it for her on the cheap.  That’s exactly what happened, well it was supposed to happen on Saturday.  She said one of her own contractors was going to stop by the house to take a look at the AC until.  But no one did, so this morning the property management company emailed me to ask if the owner had gone by and I told them no one had. 

I’m so fucking tired of this shit, but I’m still trying to get all my ducks in a row so I can purchase my own house.  Until then, I have to deal with this stupid bitch and her corner cutting, cheap ass, duct tape and staple fix it ways. 

On The Verge of Parricide

On Saturday, my mother fell…..again, this make four times since January.  And I realize that she’s old, getting frail and her memory is fading.  But, my mother has a narcissistic personality and thinks that the ENTIRE world should revolve around her, she make it impossible to try and help her.  Okay, I try and stay away from her because I’d smother her with a goddamned pillow if she so much as pissed me off.  Which she’s actually done on multiple occasions since this year started.  She’s supposed to use a walked because she trips over ants on tile, you think I’m kidding but the woman trips over herself it’s ridiculous.  Now, I know I sound like a complete and total bitch, but one has to have walked a mile in my stilettos to know what it’s like to deal with a mother such as mine.  So, on Saturday night my brother calls me to tell me my mom fell….again, and that she refused for him to pick her up.  He said that she crawled to the living room so she could pick herself up onto the couch and sit down. 

I’m getting angrier because I know she’s a bitch like that, she refuses help only to complain to doctors, emergency responders and anyone else that goes to help her.  My brother told me he was going to pick her up, and she kept yelling at him that she didn’t want him to.  So after our phone call she calls me to tell me what my brother already had.  Then she proceeds to tell me that “your brother just left me there and I had to crawl to the couch so I could sit myself up.”  Now, mind you I had already gotten the low down from my brother, so when she told me she was looking for sympathy and like always telling me her side to a story that I knew wasn’t true. 

I told her that my brother had already called me to tell me and that she refused his help, she stayed quiet.  I also got on her case because she wasn’t using her walker, and according to her, she fell because she slipped on the floor.  When my brother had already told me she was wearing her slippers with the rubber grip on the bottom.  He said he believed she tripped over a towel he found on the floor.  I asked her about it and she told me there was no towel on the floor.  My brother had sent me a picture, and there was CLEARLY A FUCKING TOWEL ON THE FLOOR!!!     I confronted her about it and she kept telling me, yelling at me that there was not towel on the floor.  Then I suppose my brother heard her yelling and he came to the living room where she was calling me from.  I heard him say “what’s that right there? It’s a fucking towel mom!”  He took her phone from her and told me he had shown her the picture he’d taken right after she fell.  And even the she still fucking denied it, which means that she’s losing her mind or she’s lying.  And I can’t tell either way because she’s lied her entire life that I don’t know when she’s being honest about anything.  She asked me if I was going to go over and check on her, I told her I was not, that my brother was there and anything she needed to let him know.  She began telling me how ungrateful and uncaring daughter I was.  I told her “Okay mom, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, bye” and hung up on her.  Then one of my aunts called me to yell at me that how could I just leave my mom there not even (and I quote) “giving a good goddamned if she lived or died.” 

I let her finish and then I said to her that she didn’t live with her sister and didn’t know all the petty bullshit she’s put me and my brother through.  And that if she was willing to quit her job to take care of my mom full time to go right ahead.  I also added that I’d give her a month before she quit because my mom would take advantage of her and want to control her about how she should be taken care of.  Then I hung up on her too.  Then my cousin called, she told me my aunt called all of my aunts and complained how I’m such a bad daughter.  I told her I don’t care what my aunts though of me, then she told me one of them said I’m just a fucking rebel without a care.  Can you believe that shit?

I LOVE how people assume I’m the worst daughter in the world because they only know what my idiot, inconsiderate, self-centered, self-absorbed, narcissistic mother tells them.  They have no idea what I or my brother have been through with her.  And my dad only adds to the frustration by siding with her, but that’s because I think he’s afraid of her dumb ass.  I’m trying really hard not to lose it completely with my mother and the cheap ass bitch landlord because of what my doctor said about my stress levels.  But it’s hard not too, and those kickboxing classes or time at the shooting range would have really come in handy this past week that’s for damned sure. 

I really could have used some alcohol this past week, but I’m a week and a half away from my month of abstaining from liquor, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I make it without having to be bailed out of jail.   The shit I have to put up with because of a careless cheap ass landlord and a self-centered, self-entitled mother….FML!

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Apparently I Have Anger Management Issues…..Or Do I?

I’ve continued my quest to improve myself and get over several issues I’ve been carrying since childhood and one huge one in my adult life (Lestat.)  So I’ve continued to see Terri my super therapist who has had some very valuable insight into who, why and how to deal with all of these issues in my life.  Now, coming from a Hispanic/Latino background, therapy was a four letter word……B-E-E-R.  And if you think I’m joking, I’m not, okay just a little bit.  But that’s how people in my family dealt with emotional, physical, financial and mental issues.  So to say that alcoholism runs rampant in my family is a huge understatement.  My dad’s side of the family alone have had a long string of alcoholics that, combined have served enough time for alcohol related charges that a correctional facility could be named after them.

On my mom side, well let’s just say that every correctional facility from here to the California/Nevada border would have their last name emblazoned on them.  Needless to say that I have always been proud of the fact that I haven’t fallen prey to the type of alcoholism that most of my family suffers from.  I’m not talking about drinking Kahlua straight from the bottle, or the occasional glass of wine or cocktail.  The alcoholics (I call them mom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins) in my family are daily drinkers, they can’t go one day without popping the top on a can or bottle of beer.  Or in my mom’s side of the family’s case, going though bottles of whiskey, gin or vodka.  ON A DAILY BASIS PEOPLE! They drink every single day of their lives, so I’m surprised that none of them have pickled themselves to death just yet.  Or maybe it works like formaldehyde and is preserving these dinosaurs forever….forever…forever.

Moving on, so in my last session with Terri she was asking me a couple of questions regarding work.  I told her about how generous my boss has been and how I love my job but that health wise, it’s causing me a bit of stress.  In an exercise she asked me to write down some of the people I deal with and give her the list, then after I gave her the list she began to ask me the first though that I came across afterwards.  I thought to myself, well this is weird.  So she started and after the first six names I was in such a bad mood, but I had no idea that this was happening to me.

She got to Fake Supervisor and she noticed how I reacted to her saying her name, and mind you I try very hard not to react to Fake Supervisor in any way, let alone hearing her name.  With this little facial twitch she told me I had anger management issues.  Can you fucking believe that?!?!  Okay I can believe it but I’m not trying to hide the fact that some people at work make me want to carry around the giant pair of scissors over my shoulder sometimes, just to get a reaction from the stupid ones like Fake Mimi.  But, Fake Mimi is leaving this week, so one of the sources of my stress will be vanquished. 

In any case, Terri told me that I had to control my anger, and I told her I was already doing yoga and running but she suggested something even more severe…..kindness.  I’m like what the literal fuck?!?!  She said “Have you ever heard the term, kill them with kindness?”  I shook my head and said “You had me at the word kill, then I lost you completely.”  She responded with “There you see, you are lost in your anger” and so after my hour long session and her suggestion that in spite of the stupidity I deal with daily.  I should focus my energy on being excruciatingly kind to those that piss me the fuck off.  So, for one week I told her I’d try and I also told her that I wasn’t making any promises but I would do so because she asked me to.

I’m Not An Alcoholic, I Only Play One On TV

I’m with you Karen

When Terri moved on to the subject of my families alcoholism she asked me if I was every afraid that I’d head down that path.  I answered honestly and told her I didn’t think I had it in me, and if I was I would already be a high functioning alcoholic.  She cocked her head to one side and said “high functioning?” I told her that almost all of those in my family who are alcoholics are high functioning, they seem normal, they can go to work, socialize and are responsible enough to earn a living.  But they have to have their alcohol after work into the late night because they can’t sleep without it.  Or it helps them relax and all the other types of bullshit alcoholics tell you when they try to justify why they drink.  She then started to write notes on her pad, and she confirmed what I had already suspected.  She told me that I wasn’t an alcoholic because I didn’t depend on it to help me function and also because even though I do drink, it’s not in excess and I don’t do it every day.  She also threw in a warning, which I should try to stay away from stressful situations because that can be a trigger to drink.  So, my take away from this session with Terri? I need to find another job because of my anger management issues that can cause me stress and lead me to drink.  Or, slowly but surely kill off everyone that pisses me off and have a toast of a bubbly beverage as I bury their bodies wrapped in tarps at the landfill that’s approximately 35 miles east of here. 

Call Me Diabloique, I Dare You

I went to go and get a p.o box for reasons that I will disclose later on. After they gave me my key and number, this is the number I got.

Could it be that finally the dark side has come to me?

It didn’t worry me any, I just thought it was hilarious because well, due to the nature of my personality I found it fitting. Then I showed my son, and he said “Well, do they know you down at the post office mom?” What can I say, that’s all the confirmation I needed.

Stupid People EVERYWHERE

One of my friends and former coworkers from the other university I worked at was in hysterics on Friday night because she had a car accident.  I was asking her if she was alright and she said she was, but that some stupid blonde bimbo in a Corvette had crashed into her PARKED Jeep Compass.  Then she said that when the cops showed up the Corvette Bitch was trying to tell the cops that it wasn’t her fault.  Now, look at this picture and tell me, do you think this bitch could possibly get away with, “It wasn’t my fault?”

Does it look like it was my friends fault here? I think not, dumb ass Corvette driving bitch.

Because my friends car was parked in front of her daughters house….I don’t think the cops bought it.  My friend said they didn’t either but now her insurance company is going through fighting Blonde Bitch Corvette’s insurance company because she keeps insisting that it wasn’t her fault.  I think her insurance company might be owned by the Donald.

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Learning How To NOT To Let The Stupid People Get To Me or Let’s Kill All The MoFo’s To Help Me Feel Better

I know I’ve spoken about Fake Buddy, Fake Phoebe, Fake Buzz, Fake Bob, Fake Mimi and Fake Roseanne in a lot of my previous posts.  They have been to say the least entertaining and without them I wouldn’t have as much blog fodder to entertain my readers.  But, how does one get past the assortment of dysfunction and pure unadulterated stupidity that I encounter on a daily basis?  I had a Telemedicine doctor’s appointment on Friday, after extensive bloodwork to try and determine why I’ve been feeling so tired and without any motivation for the last couple of months, he determined it was stress.

My doctor went over the results of my labs and he concluded that my cholesterol and cortisol levels are much higher than the past two years combined.  He asked me what changed, and I of course told him that it was a new job.  Okay, it’s not that new, I’ve been here going on ten months now, but the last set of labs I had which was back in October showed that I was maintaining a good balance and my cholesterol was at a healthy level and he hadn’t tested my cortisol levels.  I began to tell him about what my new job entailed and who the cast of characters I deal with make me so mad sometimes that I have to go and walk around to blow off steam.  Well, after my virtual doctor’s visit, my boss asked me how it went and I told her what my results were and how my doctor was kind of worried about my stress levels.  She closed the door to my office and said “You know what Huntress, don’t do that to yourself.  I know you’re new to this department and everyone that comes through here.  But you need to learn to not sweat the small stuff.”  She continued, “A very long time ago I was exactly like you, I let every person that came through my office get to me.  Whether it was by their actions or attitude I would always somehow manage to be in angry knots when they left.  Life is too short to let stupid people matter.”

How I try to avoid stress…..by being sarcastic

She looked at me and asked “Do you understand? Don’t let Fake Buddy, Fake Buzz or Fake Bob get under your skin, remember it’s their the ones with issues, not you.” She winked at me and walked out of my office, I sat there pondering her words, taking them in, absorbing the knowledge of her 64 years.  Then, about half an hour later I get an email from Gaia | Yoga, and it said I was gifted a one year subscription to a series of yoga classes.  They start at beginners, then intermediate and advanced, four months of each, starting next week.  Then I get an email from Amazon, I got a virtual gift card to Amazon to buy three pairs of yoga pants/shirts or whatever I needed. 

I’m so very grateful, really I am but I think to relieve the kind of stress I feel I would have much preferred a kick boxing or taekwondo class, hell even access to a shooting range would alleviate a lot of stress, (yes Dave, and you’d be the first person I’d be aiming for.) But hey, I’ll take it, I need to focus on the stress that, apparently I’ve been absorbing since I started this job.

I was on the verge of tears, she said that she needs me to be healthy and not worry about the things I can’t control.  Nor to let the assholes that make me angry cause me undue stress.  She said, “By this time next year you should be the healthiest person in this department, remember don’t let the stupid people get on your nerves.  They are simply not worth the aggravation.  You also need to do something exciting, take a trip to the hot springs in New Mexico, go take a sky diving lesson, hike the Franklin Mountains, but do something out of your comfort zone, you got me?”  My boss is by far the bestesest (yes Dave, this is an actual word you grammar Nazi, because I’ve made it so!) boss I’ve ever had, and I mean that with all my heart.  Then I get the summary of my consult with my doctor, and this is what he said…

I love my doctor, he and his wife are my PCP and OBGYN’s respectively and I’ve never had to wonder or not whether they actually pay attention to me, my needs or how I feel. He had given me a food log to start logging in what I was eating. I logged in my lunch and dinner I emailed it to him, and during our consult he asked me if that was all. I stayed silent, and said that I had been indulging in a few after work (after workout) cocktails. He asked how many….I said one…..he stayed quiet. I said “Okay, does drinking Kahlua out of the bottle count?” He ordered me to stay off of alcohol for an entire month. Now THAT is going to be torture, and my stress level may go up, I’m not sure it’s a toss up….

I hear ya Ron Burgundy….I hear ya…

Snarky Cat on Classic Film Watching…

On another note, who say’s cats can’t convey feelings through facial expressions? Well on Saturday I…ahem, we were watching some classic movies on TCM. The movie Double Indemnity with Barbara Stanwyck, Fred McMurray and Edward G. Robinson came on which happens to be one of Charlie’s favorite films, and one of mine too. He sits on the ottoman and watches these movies, listening/watching intently and I have to say, learning something I just don’t know what. But I digress as I was asking him, nicely of course, if he was ready to have dinner. I asked the mofo a couple of times but he just ignored me and continued to watch the movie.

I nudged the ottoman he was sitting on and this is the look he game me. The mofo gave me the stink eye!!! He loves Edward G. Robinson, and then lectured me on how NOT to bother him whilst watching his favorite movies, after which, we watched the Maltese Falcon….in silence.

P.S Random Funny Picture Just Because

I’m with the people who say Math can solve it’s own problems….fucking math.

P.S.S – I’ve blocked “Dave” from my blog, he’s anther a-hole who only criticized my posts while the stupid motherfucker did nothing creative. Ha! Take that Dave!

This is the Huntress, saying.…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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More Dysfunctional Characters from The Huntress’ World

Fake Buddy the Elf

I recall that I mentioned Fake Buddy, or maybe I haven’t. who knows? Anyway we have a director from Human Resources whom I’ll call Fake Buddy. He’s a complete idiot who was acting as interim Vice President of HR since last May. First of all let me just say the motherfucker has the nerve to claim he was in the service. Yes, he actually has done that, so I did a little digging, and found not only didn’t he serve (because I can’t find any military records on the walking bag of assholes) he also doesn’t have a degree in Human Resources. What he does have is a “certificate” for a four and a half month Human Resources course from prominent university. And that alone also doesn’t make him and alumni ether, but it’s on his resume. When President Cutie Pie opened the position/recruitment search for the Vice President he made it a point to include that the candidate have a Master’s degree in HR. He also claims that he’s an Alumni from a very prominent Ivy League university, how fucking mental does one have to be to claim that after a four and a half month course??

Well, what did stupid Fake Buddy do? He stomped down to the President’s office to demand that he be included.  Well, President Cutie Pie and my boss told him straight out that, since his master’s degree is in Theology (yes you heard that right) he couldn’t qualify or even be considered for the VP position.  His resume, which Impostor was kind enough to show me, shows all the motherfucker has is being a Cruise Ship Social Director.  YES….you heard that right, the assholes only HR experience was from his stint on a Disney Cruise as its Social Director.  I mean come the fuck on, who hired this clown?  Oh that’s right he was hired by the former VP for HR who got fired because Fake Buddy threw her under the bus for shit he did.   As previously mentioned, he has ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN RESOURCE experience! Oh, did I mention the dude’s gay? And not in a, “I’m happy” kind of gay either.  Now I have nothing against gay people, I have a cousin and three friends that are gay, so I don’t discriminate against LGBTTTQ community.  That is, unless you try to use the gay card to get what they want, then nope, you’re going to be a bitch to me, no matter what gender you are.  And that’s exactly what this asshole did to President Cutie Pie when he was excluded from applying for the Vice President position.  

He called the main campus and complained, using the gay card and telling them he was being discriminated against because of his homosexuality.   This caused President Cutie Pie some stress, but ultimately the main campus told Fake Buddy he didn’t have a case or a chance to apply for the position.  But now, the university has hired a new Vice President, and she seems totally fabulous! Oh, yeah the reason I call him Fake Buddy.  Well last Christmas the walking bag of assholes thought it would be a great idea for him to dress up as Buddy the Elf and walk around campus giving out candy to all the departments.  I was so embarrassed for the prick, I mean it was not only embarrassing but humiliating for everyone he visited! His costume was to say the least, a bit too transparent if y’all know what I mean? Not enough mental bleach in the entire world to forget that shit let me tell you.  Seriously I don’t know who wore it worse, him or Fake Carol. It’s a toss up at this point.

Seriously y’all that shit was just disturbing

But wait, there’s more, so for St. Patrick’s Day I was on a Webex meeting with my boss and other people, and my office door was closed.  The stupid motherfucker knocked, and then opened the door and what do I see??!!  His dumb ass dressed as a fucking leprechaun, yes people a grown ass, idiot of a man, who is a director of human resources is walking around campus dressed as a fucking idiot leprechaun!!! And not a cute, Lucky Charms kind of leprechaun either, he looks like the fucker serial killer from the movies “Leprechaun.”  And most of us on campus are adults, we don’t need an idiot dressed in a leprechaun costume to come to our offices and give us candy.  Yes, it was a stupid thing to do and I don’t know why the asshole thinks everyone is going to be amused. 

Fake Phoebe is Alive and Kicking….and Apparently Working for This Institution.

Then there is Fake Phoebe, she has the same title as I do only she works at an off campus clinic site.  She is and has never been held accountable for anything.  The Provost likes her, and that’s the only reason she has a job. 

The Provost is also Fake Mimi’s boss, anyway Fake Pheobe is an airhead of epic proportions, and we can’t ever get her to answer any of our emails.  But on Monday my boss sent her an email saying that President Cutie Pie and my boss needed (did you hear that? NEED) to meet with the faculty from the office site clinic, all of them.  On different days of course and she constantly answered me and Supervisor with “Give me dates and times of your people and I will ask if they are available.”

THE FUCKING NERVE, but I digress as both my boss and Supervisor told me to let her handle it.  My boss said that’s why she told her to set up the meeting because she’s (and I quote) “a ditz.”

And she indeed proved my boss right, with constant emails going back and forth and telling Supervisor and myself she needed US to send her days and times so she could check all of the faculty’s availability.  My end email was not so nice, but yet in a “I’m not going to kill you….JUST YET” kind of way…

She kept bitching about how the faculty members can only meet during their “administrative time.”  When the President and Vice President tell you they need to meet with someone, it doesn’t matter who, you’d best start telling them that it’s mandatory! Stupid people I swear! Well, yes I know I swear a lot, but can you blame me with an air head about to float away and a grown ass man who dresses up as a leprechaun to give out candy??  This is why I drink with my cat, he understand me.

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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You Know What’s Funny???

Driving on I-10 coming to work and watching a Smart Car pass a Mustang….

Yes this actually happened on my way to work this past week….that shit was hilarious to watch.

Explaining to someone who has been in their position longer than you’ve been in yours, how to do THEIR job.   No other explanation needed, only to say Fake Buzz McCallister and Fake Bob Penciotti were involved.

That was the exact look the stupid mofo gave me…..priceless.

Watching a misogynistic asshole squirm because you are smarter than he anticipated.

Fake Bob Penciotti

This dude looks lost all the time, I’m talking about Fake Bob

This Sam Adams “Cougar” commercial…Just because it made me laugh…because you know….Cougars.

Being able to scare someone with one, strong meaningful glare….

Fake Mimi

Watching Fake Carol give a Presentation in these…………

Yes people it was a fashion crime that no self respecting (or anyone with taste) 64 year old woman SHOULD wear….but she did…FML

Yes, she really did wear this shit to not only work but to a meeting with higher administration, I took the picture myself.  So it may have not been that funny rather, more embarrassing than anything.

GREATEST NEWS EVER!!!!

Seriously no one cares….

FAKE MIMI QUIT!!!  And only for a split second did I think that maybe Imposter and I had something to do with it….NAH, couldn’t be.

She’s been in and out of the office on FFEEMMMLLLAAA since October, first she had COVID, then she had lady parts issues, then we found out she had to have a partial hysterectomy.  Not that I needed to know that but she felt free to tell the entire office why she was going to be out for 8 weeks.  Eight glorious weeks of no Fake Mini.  Eight lovely weeks of quiet and serenity…okay it hasn’t been that serene but I didn’t have to deal with her verbal diarrhea and back handed compliments.  So I wasn’t too disappointed when I heard she was leaving.  One down, two to go.  Two, you ask?  Why yes, two because in the last month or so I’ve gotten to know Fake Dolly a bit and she’s not that bad.  But Fake Roseanne on the other hand, that lazy bitch needs to go, so her and Fake Supervisor make two.  I’ll keep you all posted.

Random Cat Photo

Charlie gets an eye twitch when I tell him he has to wait for his daily dose of nip. Not sure it its annoyance or if he’s plotting my demise.

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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There was Once a “Supposed” Supervisor that Turned into Something Worse…

I’ve been at this not so new job for about eight months now, and during that time I’ve encountered some characters that are questionable, some that are just amusing and annoying all at the same time, and then there are those that are…….just making me want to break out of my anger management and pop them so good and hard that it would be worth the charge of assault.  

When you work with so many people and then see them for who they really are, some surprise you in a pleasant way.  And others just make you wonder how in the fuck did this person get here?  Supervisor for instance, I chose the name Supervisor because that’s what she says she is, but really she’s a lazy ass, self-entitled, totally misguided and wrongly enabled bitch.  Who thinks just because she assists President Cutie Pie, she’s like a capo in the Higher Administration Mafia and untouchable.  At least that what she thinks she is, but in reality she’s just a lazy ass bitch that comes in late, leaves early and pawns off her duties to those of us she says she “supervises.”  Which she calls “delegation” of duties, which it’s clearly not.

Now, I now many might think that I’m being too critical of someone who’s been here longer than I have, but trust me, I’m not.  For example, both I and Impostor have Master’s degrees, as does she.  But Fake Supervisor insists that she is superior to us simply because she assists President Cutie Pie.  She makes my boss and other VPs feel as though she is above them, and she most definitely is NOT.

She, takes advantage of President Cutie Pie’s patience and generosity, so much so she makes decisions on his behalf that cause some problems, problems that she has to go and apologize to him for.  Adding to that she is a bad supervisor, has horrible communication skills both written and verbal, and she is extremely passive aggressive.  But, I’ve figured out that she also can’t handle confrontation or push back of any kind, and that’s where I, The Huntress have mastered these skills over the years.  And I’m not talking about in a bad, I want to get things done my way, kind of push back.  No, it’s purely in a defensive, I’m tired of your shit, come at me bro, you’ll see the worst side of me, I can play this game too and you’ll lose, the Huntress is aggressive-aggressive, these are my “rage on rage” colors, type of self-defense

She hired Fake Dolly, even though she had asked for my and Impostor’s opinion on who she should hire, and we both told her we didn’t think Fake Dolly could handle the job, but she hired her anyway.  She treats my boss like shit, and THAT won’t fly with me.  She thinks she’s smarter than all of us, she thinks she can control everyone to do her bidding because she does next to nothing every single fucking day! And she’s a genuinely a bad person, and by this I mean a REALLY BAD person, let me explain. 

Low Life Piece of Shit…..

In early January, her step daughter’s fiancé was killed in a car crash, and they have a son together.  Fake Supervisor started a GoFundMe account to raise money for her step daughter to pay for her fiancé’s funeral.   She hit up my boss for money, remembering that my boss had donated funds to the homeless mom and her son that Imposter and I were helping.  Fake Supervisor thought that she could get around the same amount from my boss.  Now, when my boss donated those funds to the homeless mom and son, I didn’t ask her to, she did it out of the goodness of her heart.  So when Fake Supervisor approached my boss, my boss was kind of weary about this, so she gave her a check for $150.  Well, Fake Supervisor wasn’t happy, because she thought that she’d get a donation in the thousands from my boss.

Well it turns out my boss did some digging (she and President Cutie Pie have known each other and worked together for about 16 years)  and President Cutie Pie told my boss that Supervisor had told him that the funeral was going to be paid for by her step daughter’s fiancés’ parents.   And that he was going to be buried in Mexico, because that’s what his parents wanted.  A funeral in Mexico costs about $3500 compared to $10K here in the states.

So, Boss was NOT happy, but she donated anyway.  Impostor found the GoFundMe account and it showed that Fake Supervisor had raised around $6500, and then changed her story about what the money was for.  It started out to pay for funeral expenses, then it turned into funds to help her step-daughter and expenses for the baby.  Fake Supervisor and Imposter go back a long time, then one day Impostor comes in raging mad and tells me that Fake Supervisor posted a picture of her giving her step daughter a check of $3200. 

Yes, you heard me right, out of the $6500 she only gave her step daughter half and what did Fake Supervisor do with the rest?  Oh, well her and her husband are going to Vegas in April, yeah so now do you think I’m being a bit too mean describing this lazy ass bitch??!!! I think not!

Then my boss found out and was raging mad as well, she said she’s not going to trust Fake Supervisor anymore and that she’s done with lying, conniving people like her.  One has to be the lowest of the low to do what this bitch did, start a fund raising account and worse, using her step daughter’s fiancé’s death to raise money for herself!! Oh but it gets so much worse than that…

COVID Vaccine Clinic

We’ve been having COVID vaccine clinics since late December, and during the last one there were some batches of the MODERNA vaccine that were still being stored.  Well, Impostor wanted to get vaccinated but she had to wait 90 days because she’d had COVID back at the beginning of November.  So, what did Fake Supervisor do?  She called all of her family and friends to come get vaccinated!  She didn’t even tell us, but she supposedly ran it by President Cutie Pie, and apparently she said he said it was okay.  So around 13 members of her family were vaccinated, and they aren’t even front line workers!!!!  I mean, both my parents and Impostor’s mom are elderly and have underlying conditions and could have used the vaccines.  But it never occurred to us to even ask because we don’t and we will, NEVER take advantage of who our bosses are or where we work.  But Fake Supervisor??  She’s just a lying, manipulative, entitled, lazy ass bitch who believes she is the entire President’s suite!

My boss tells me that Fake Supervisor is a disgrace to our suite, because she comes in late, leaves early and dresses like shit. Supervisor told Impostor that because she’s heavy (I’m putting that mildly, and no I’m not fat shaming here, I’m stating what this person is like) that she can’t wear a lot of professional attire (that’s what her excuse is anyway, which is pure BS because we have a director who is also on the heavy side and she has business suits and professional attire and looks simply beautiful!) and she dresses in leggings and oversized shirts.  She has a lot of patterned leggings that she wears and my boss says she looks like she comes to work in pajamas or worse a house coat.  Then Fake Supervisor turns around and tells me things like “Are we TRYING to emulate Boss?”  And I’m like what are you talking about?  So, I find out that she said that because my boss gave me one of her designer (Calvin Klein) purses.   My boss is awesome like that, she will “recycle” her bags and some of her clothes as well.  She’s given me a designer bag and a couple to Impostor.  But she’s never given Supervisor anything, so, what was my response?

“Who better to emulate than a kick-ass, strong woman like my boss? Who seems to be generous with those that she likes?”  Fake Supervisor just rolled her eyes and walked away, I was thinking to myself, Supervisor doesn’t like pushback, she hates it. 

She one day told me when I was in our breakroom getting coffee, “Well aren’t we dressed up today, are we looking for another job?” And she laughed, I just grabbed the coffee pot and poured me a cup of coffee and said “No, but I do believe in professionalism because we represent the President’s suite, you should try it sometime” and walked off.  Impostor told me later that day that she was pissed, that how dare I talk to her like that and imply she was unprofessional, that and that she doesn’t appreciate it. 

I laughed (actually we both laughed) and told her if the truth hurts then so be it.  And that I wasn’t implying I was outright telling her she was unprofessional.  Lucky for me she’s a supervisor in name only and can’t touch me because my boss likes me and how I work and has told me so on several occasions.

One day she came in about 9:45am and President Cutie Pie was not happy, but she began to talk to him like he was stupid.  I can hear all of this because my bosses and my office are right next to hers and President Cutie Pie’s.  My boss walked in my office closed the door and said “Can you hear Fake Supervisor try and talk her way out of being this late?” 

I said that I could, then we opened the door and Fake Supervisor was walking out of her office in a huff, with all her things in her arms and stormed out.  President Cutie Pie told my boss later that day he sent her home since she couldn’t get here on time, he’d given her the day.  Boss was surprised as was I because she thinks she’ll never get fired.  When she told me and Impostor she was going to Vegas in April, I very sarcastically said “Oh I’m sure Impostor and I will take care of President Cutie Pie very well while you’re gone, so don’t worry.”  Impostor told me she feels threatened by me, she also told her that I don’t listen to what she has to say sometimes.  She says that I question her a lot about the stupid shit she has us do, I told Impostor that one shouldn’t follow blindly.  Impostor said that she didn’t think about that or any of Fake Supervisor “leadership” before, until I began to point out things to her.   The Huntress 1, Fake Supervisor 0. 

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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There was Once A White Russian that Turned Into A Colorado Bulldog, and a Bruiser Cat that Turned into a House Pet.

What? Snow in Old El Paso?……Get out of Town…Seriously Get Out of Town, People Here Don’t Know How To Drive In Inclement Weather….

The past couple of days have been……cold.  Yep, cold as a witch’s titty out yonder in this part of Texas.  A part of Texas that never sees the weather dip lower than, oh about, 45 degrees maybe?  Anyway when the local weather peeps were talking about El Paso being hit by that winter storm going on down south and up north I thought to myself, nope not going to happen.  Why? Because this is El Paso, it gets hotter than hell during the summer but it rarely gets cold enough for us to pull out those heavy winter coats, gloves, scarves and boots for.  Seriously it’s a joke when people say “oh it’s cold out there” and it’s like 55 degrees. 

The view from my front yard on Sunday morning

So when I heard it was going to be 15 degrees this weekend, I scoffed, yes I scoffed out loud no less as I made my way home on Friday stopping at the liquor store four blocks from my house to pick up some vodka and Kahlua to make myself a couple of White Russians for the weekend.

Not for any special reason, just simply for the fact that I was craving a white Russian, and the drink too….yes that was a joke.

Living With Squidward Is NOT FUN!

Anyway, I got home and my son who is recovering from the flu and being a total Squidward about it told me it was going to freeze and snow on Saturday night.  I scoffed again, and told him this was El Paso Texas and that cold here meant either Mother Nature was going through menopause and having hot and cold flashes simultaneously.  He was not amused, but of course not because the mofo has been home the entire week making my life a living hell because he has/had the flu.  Then he got mad at me because I MADE him go get tested for COVID since they have similar symptoms.  Yes the mofo got tested, and during the time he was waiting for the results, I made him stay in his room, wear a mask and gloves.  Made him wipe down everything he touched with Clorox wipes because I didn’t know if it was COVID or the flu.  Then his doctor called to tell him he tested negative for COVID but positive for the flu.

My son is Squidward, Squidward is my son…..ugh

Either way I treated him as if he had COVID, making him stay in his room, taking him food, reminding him to take his meds, you know being a good mom.  And what do I get in return?  I get attitude because he’s sick and acting like a goddamned baby and he complains about eating and not being able to taste anything.  About eating the same old “house food” and wanting take out (even though the mofo couldn’t taste anything) and complaining that he was cold (before the freezing temp actually hit) then that he was too hot.  Oh my god, I almost hit my very own son over the head with a damned shovel, YES, YES, THAT THOUGHT did cross my mind for a split second……..then I calmed down.   

Then I made myself a White Russian and settled in to enjoy the weekend.  As I sipped on my second cocktail, I thought it came out a bit strong. 

But I soldiered on, sipping my next cocktail, in my nice warm flannel PJ’s that I use maybe twice a year (again it’s El Paso people keep up with me here) and watching a great new show on SyFy called Resident Alient. 

This is totally hilarious, no seriously without alcohol

It stars Alan Tudyk (he’s from El Paso y’all) and it’s a combination of sarcastic humor, Law and Order and Northern Exposure all wrapped up into one great show.  Then I watched Ghost Adventures and I made my third white Russian that still tasted kind of strong. 

That’s why my brain Sharleen (remember her?) said to me, add freaking Coke to it and make is a damned Colorado Bulldog and stop complaining because your giving me and Charlie a headache.  Anyway I added Coke to my White Russian and it made for a much more pleasant drinking experience.  So much so I drank the entire bottle of vodka and Kahlua over the weekend, and no I didn’t get a hangover. 

Best stress reliving, grumpy kid tolerating, homicide tendency reducing drink ever…

Which in itself is kind of odd, because the Cayman Jack Margarita’s do give me a headache type hangover, but that could be that I drink the entire six pack at once.  HHmmmm…..

This weekend went by and because of all of my adult beverage consumption I didn’t even realize that Sunday way Valentine’s Day.  Not that I pay attention to that consumer driven holiday, but usually I remember because my dad’s and my oldest son’s birthday’s come the day after and two days later respectively.  But because my son was being such a pain in the ass, I’ve officially cancelled his birthday this year.  Yes I can do that, I’m his mom and went through 13 and a half hours of labor with him, for him to act like a total douche 35 years later. 

I’m his mom…..I can do that you know….

Why, yes I can hold a grudge…..and apparently a ton of vodka and Kahlua as well, come at me bro, do it…..I dare you.

Cone Cat….

On another note, my cat….ahem, my feline owner got himself into yet another round of “who has bigger balls” (oddly enough he has no balls since he’s neutered) with the neighbors cat Grady about three weeks ago.  He came in on a Friday night with his left ear swollen, then Saturday it was even more swollen and then he began to scratch it.  And scratch it he did, so much so that he began to bleed, all over the damned house! 

So finally on Sunday my son and I had to take him to the vet, or as Charlie puts it “Cat Physician.”  The Cat Physician found he had an abscess because he scratched it so much and became infected.  He was shaven (around the ear of course) and the abscess drained, two stiches put in, given a rabies and an antibiotic injection and given some pain meds.  He was also given a medical cone to keep from scratching, he had the cone on for an entire week. 

Captain Cone Cat high on pain meds

I felt bad for him because he was bumping into the walls, flipping his food bowl over.  But, his fight and the trip to the Cat Physician cost my son $200 and now, Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan gave up his Kat Fight Klub title and is strictly an inside cat.  No he’s not happy about it, but he seems to be adjusting to the comforts of being inside 24/7 now. 

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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COVID Vaccine Side Effects, Teaching Boss Not To Enable Hispanic Misogynists, Learning to Stay In My Lane and Explaining the Giant Scissors in my Office…..

COVID Vaccines and Side Effects….other than the stupid people we deal with…

Not really COVID related but I thought it was funny

My institution has been giving the COVID vaccine to the front line workers here in the city.  Which included 72 FBI agents, 45 Sheriff’s Deputies, 103 ICE agents, 55 local police officers, 81 fire fighters and countless doctors, nurses and clinic staff.  I was voluntold that I needed to help with these vaccine clinics which are being held on the 4th floor of our brand spanking new building.  Supervisor needed all the EA’s to help, with the exception of Fake Mimi because she’s out on FMLA.  She constantly feels free to enunciate it….calling it……FeeM….L…A.  She’s so annoying, but she hasn’t been here for over two months and I’ve been in heaven, well heaven when it comes to her presence anyway.

So, since January every week on Monday, Tuesday and Weds, I, Impostor, Supervisor and my boss have been down taking registration for the Moderna vaccine, both the 1st and second doses.  It been a mad house, because people from off the street walk in demanding, yes you heard that right DEMANDING that they get the vaccine.  I know El Paso isn’t the most polite town, but damn people calm your tits down and wait until the vaccine is available to the general public!

Like, hello lady get a grip..

We had this one lady walk in, asking about the vaccine for her husband.  She said he is recovering from cancer, and she only spoke Spanish so I was tasked with explaining to her that we were only giving the vaccine to front line workers and students, staff and faculty of the institution.  That we were not yet vaccinating the general public.  She looked at me, and in Spanish she said “My husband isn’t the general public, he’s the father of my children.”  I know she was being snarky, so I know it’s not right to respond that way because her husband is a cancer survivor.  But I too gave some snark of my own, saying “I’m sorry but he may not be the general public to you, and unless he’s employed with the university he will have to wait to get the vaccine when it rolls out for THE GENERAL PUBLIC.”  She rolled her eyes and left. 

Seriously people, I know everyone is anxious to get vaccinated but damn.  Speaking of vaccinations, I was made to get mine because my boss and I are in and out of several clinical areas she insisted.  I told her that I’d stay away from the clinics until the general public was allowed to get the vaccine, and someone who needed it could take the one I’d be getting.  She and President Cutie Pie insisted, so on January 4th I got first dose of the Moderna vaccine.  I didn’t get any side effects other than soreness at the injection site and it itched for the first couple of days, mostly at night.  Then last week I got the second dose, the booster and that motherfucker knocked me on my ass.  The next day I felt as though I’d been hit by an 18 wheeler.  I couldn’t get out of bed, my body ached and I had fever of 101, I slept all day the next day.  I only got up to get water and check up on my stupid cat who’s wearing a protective cone over his head because he’s injured, motherfucker.  But 24 hours later, it’s like I never had the side effects/symptoms of the second dose.  I woke up feeling so much better and thought to myself if I’m in relatively healthy condition, how would the second dose side effects make those with underlying conditions feel?

Don’t Feed The Pig or Don’t Enable a Hispanic Misogynist

Anyway, Boss has been trying to juggle a lot of internal issues with the administrators under her the last couple of weeks and it’s put her in a bad mood. Two weeks ago there was an administrator’s meeting, an in person meeting, why? Because Fake Buzz McCallister insisted on having it in person, and since our new digs have a huge conference room there was enough room for everyone to social distance. That wasn’t my call, if it had been I’d have said no. So since this meeting was scheduled for 7:30am I came in extra, extra early. I got her at 6:45am and my boss, President Cutie Pie were already here, so I made my way to the conference room to set up the laptop and screen and who do I see sitting there? Fake Buzz McCallister, on his laptop, as I walked in no acknowledging him I muttered “paranoid much?” He looked up at me and I ignored him. I heard Boss yell from the hallway “Hey Buzz, how do you take your coffee?” I was MORTIFIED, I mean I was in shock!! I walked out as Fake Buzz called out, “I’m light with one sugar…”

I walked into the huge kitchen and saw Boss carrying her cup of coffee and Fake Buzz’s as well.  I asked her “Boss, what are you doing? Why are you catering to him? Don’t do that, it’s just going to make things worse for all the women he has to work with!”  She looked at me, confused and said “I’m just being nice” and she walked slowly into the conference room with both cups of coffee.  Fuck my entire life, she just set Hispanic women back fifty fucking years!  Okay she’s an older white women, who’s made it this far on her smarts, education and ballsy, no nonsense attitude.  But she isn’t Hispanic, she doesn’t know how to handle misogynistic assholes like Fake Buzz McCallister and Fake Bob Penciotti!  After the meeting and all of the administrators left she came and asked me if I was alright.  I told her no, she was surprised and asked what was wrong.  I asked her to sit down and I closed the door to my office, then I told her that dealing with men like Fake Buzz and Fake Bob isn’t easy for me, for Hispanic women in general. 

I deal with “pendejo’s” all damn day long

She honestly didn’t understand, I had to let her know that since she’s white, she couldn’t possibly understand.  I told her that by catering to Fake Buzz she was enabling his bad behavior towards women.  She asked “By taking him a cup of coffee?”  I said “Yes, by taking him a cup of coffee.  Let me explain, to you it’s just a cup of coffee, but to Buzz he’s having ‘his’ boss bring him a cup of coffee.  He’s having his white, female boss cater to him and bring him a cup of coffee.  Which to a Hispanic misogynist is what he was taught to do, that women will never be equal to him.”  She still looked confused, “Okay I said, you see it’s like this, in the Hispanic culture when men are raised to think that women, all women are to be subservient, and they are more important it’s a control and power play. Now Fake Buzz is going to go back to his office and brag that he has ‘his boss’ bring him coffee.  Therefore every women that works under him is going to feel less of an equal to this asshole prick, and he will continue to treat us like we’re nobody, like we’re shit.” 

She sat there staring at me and I knew she didn’t understand what I was trying to say.  I said “Okay Boss I give up, but please don’t cater to his stupid ass anymore or else I, MD (managing director) and everyone else that has to deal with his over inflated ego will have to suffer through his attitude.” Seriously I don’t understand why the fuck she can’t understand?  Even MD asked me why she did what she did, and I honestly couldn’t tell her!

Learning to Stay in My Lane….I Think

I’ve been at this job for eight months now, I have learned a lot and thus far this has been the best job I’ve ever had.  Then last week when I was out with the side effects from the second dose of the COVID vaccine Boss gave a lot of what I was doing to MD.  I came back to find that MG had changed a lot of the procedures and protocols I’d had been trying to establish for Boss since I got here.  I asked MD why?  She said that Boss had told her to do some stuff while I was out.  I said I was out for one fucking day, not two entire weeks!  She said she was sorry and that Boss told her to do it for her, so what did I do? I talked to Boss about it, and came up against a stone wall.  She said “Oh I just asked MD to write a couple of the offer letters for the two faculty members that were coming in, no worries.”  No worries, she said no worries, I told Boss that I thought we’d established some sort of procedure since she had none when I got here.  Boss didn’t want to hear it, I just walked out of her office and I was pissed, and yet I don’t know why?  Maybe because I believed I was valued for my work and everything I had accomplished since I got hired.  A couple of days went by and MD came by the office to drop off some papers for Boss to sign and she asked me if I was okay?  I told her I was okay, just not too happy with Boss for backtracking on all the work I’d done.  MD sat down in my office and said “Look, I know how you feel Boss is hard pressed to let go of some of the things she’s been doing herself because she didn’t have any support before you came along.”  I told her that I didn’t understand why Boss keeps changing things when I had already put up a process for her approvals on documents, signatures or her review in general.  AND since I was the one that started/created the database for all the documents that require her approval for tracking purposes it just means I’ve done all this work for nothing if Boss won’t change her ways.  MD just shrugged and said she’d been working with Boss for five years now and Boss is hard pressed to let go of and change some things if they’ve been working for her.

I just said that it doesn’t make sense, Boss has made three steps forward and five steps back because all the work I’ve done and processes I put in place have been tossed out the window and that isn’t encouraging whatsoever.  So I suppose that now I’ll just do what Boss wants me to, don’t ask questions and leave any policies and processes to be implemented at her will.

Explaining the Giant Scissors In My Office

Giant scissors against my new mini fridge..

I had forgotten about the giant scissors in my office until 2bshamless reminded me on one of my other post comments.  So here I go…

While we were still in the old building we were packing up our offices to move here.  Impostor, Supervisor and I were packing up offices, supplies and various other items as fast and accurately as possible.  Fake Mini however spent the better part of two days taking all the crap in her office, bubble wrapping it, putting it in color coded boxes and labeling them, according to her, appropriately.  We had four carts and two hand trucks that we were using, and Fake Mini had ALL OF THEM with ALL OF HER STUPID CRAP leaving the rest of us to wait for her dumb ass to finish taking her and her bosses stuff across the street.  I mean she is slower than molasses in winter, and it was getting on my nerves that she was taking, not only too long to do this, but utilizing all of the carts and hand trucks for just her stuff.  Imposter went over to ask her to unload some of her stuff since she wasn’t finished and we needed to get moving.  She stood there trying to explain that she had “breakable” items on the cart we need to use.  I stood in the lobby area of the old office and on the couch there was a box with the giant scissors and other celebratory items that President Cuite Pie uses on special occasions, like ground breakings, new building openings and such.  I could hear Fake Mini trying to tell Imposter that she didn’t want us to break anything in the boxes.  I had just about enough of her so I took the giant scissors out of the box, dragged them on the carpet as I walked towards Fake Mimi and Imposter.

When I got to where they were, I flung the giant scissors over my shoulder and said “Look Mimi, we need to move and we need to move now. Take you box of breakable shit off the cart, put it back in your office and you can have this back once we’re finished. It’s really selfish of you to take all of the carts and hand trucks just for your crap. And yes, I think its all crap, who has a goddamned ice maker in their office? Seriously what the fuck? It’s an office Mimi, not some place for you to nest. Nest at home, that’s what your house is for so either take these boxes of crap off the cart or I will. Also, maybe you should like a fire, you know under your ass, because we have two day’s to move and all you’ve done is move your office!” Fake Mimi stood there looking at me with the giant scissors over my shoulder, she began to stutter as she normally does when she’s nervous.

Seriously, our office “Mimi” thinks matching her eye shadow to her shoes is a good thing…

She said “Well, well…um….I’m going as fast as I can…and….and…um.”  I took the scissors from one shoulder to the other as she asked “What do you plan to do with those scissors?  Cut my head off?” as she laughed a nervous laugh.  I looked at Impostor and then at Fake Mini, and said “No, not your head because there is nothing of value in there, but I’ll start with all the boxes of breakable shit you plan on moving to your new office.”  She stopped laughing as I took one of the box of crap and put in on her desk, took the cart and told Imposter “Take the other one, we can get this done in two hours.  It will take her slow ass forever and we can’t wait for her to finish her shit.”  Fake Mimi stood there just staring that blank stare she has when her brain shuts down.  As I walked back into the lobby of our office, President Cutie Pie was standing there and then he asked me what I was doing with his giant, ribbon cutting scissors.  I said “I was going to cut Mimi’s head off for hoarding all the carts and hand trucks.  But she saw my point of view and we have three of them now.”  He looked at me laughed, (I’m thinking because he thought I was joking) and that’s when he said “Huntress, I’m gifting you the scissors.  Just let me use them when I need to accordingly okay?”  I smiled and said “yes sir, of course.” So that’s how I came about those giant scissors in my office, as a gift from President Cutie Pie.  He really doesn’t know how or why I intended to use them or how I might still.  But that’s okay, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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A Moronic Inferno……More Characters I Work With. It’s Like a Dysfunctional Disneyland

I find myself once more dealing with questionable characters on a daily basis that make me wonder, how in the fuck did these people make it past the background check?  Okay, shut up Dave I know what you’re thinking, and I haven’t committed a felony……yet.   Fucking Dave….ahem on with the show.

My boss, who is super awesome has to deal with an array of characters with somewhat problematic personalities.  One, as you know, I’ve already written about Fake Buzz McCallister, a Hispanic, chauvinistic asshole who thinks he’s God’s gift to……everybody.  But wait, there’s more, more asshole characters that seem, even in this day and age, to be throwbacks to the days of Madmen.  Men who don’t like to be subordinate to a women, men who think they deserve to have my bosses job simply because they are….men.  Now, I’m not man bashing here, I’m stating and explaining the characters that I and my boss have to deal with on a daily basis.  Not all of them are this way, a couple are actually nice and very compassionate guys who are respectful to my boss and myself.

Introducing…..Fake Bob Pinciotti (from That 70’s Show)

Bob…not his real name. But it’s creepy just how much this person looks like Bob…

Yes ladies and gents this asshole is a horrible guy, and a worse clinical administrator.  He looks just like Bob from That 70’s show, without the curly hair, the guy acts with such stupidity it’s unbelievable.  Fake Bob has the sheer ignorance for anything reasonable or practical.  Bob is a fat asshole who waltzes into our suite, straight to my boss’s office without letting Fake Dolly know why he’s here.  I’ve had to stop him from just walking into my boss’s office while she’s on a phone call or meeting with someone else.  Twice I’ve told him to wait out front.  He looks at me with that, “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of look.   The third time I happened to be up front as he walked off the elevator and he completely ignored me and tried to walk past into the back offices.  I said to him “Bob, can you please wait here?” and he turned around and said, in a very condescending tone “Why? I need to talk to Boss.”  And I responded with “Well, does boss need to talk to you?”  I could see he wasn’t happy about a woman talking to him that way, and I proceeded to say “From now on, if you need to talk to Boss, you need to make an appointment or call to see if she’s free. Otherwise I won’t let you see her.”  He laughed and said, “You….won’t let me see her?”

And I said “that’s right, I WON’T let you.  Did you get that? I won’t LET YOU.” 

He smirked and tried to walk past me, and I got in front of him and said “Do you really want to try my patience Bob?  Because you won’t like the outcome.”  That’s when President Cutie Pie walked around the corner and Bob said good morning in that ass kissing, brown nosing kind of way.  President Cutie Pie wasn’t in a very good mood.  It’s been a hectic time for him and all the VP’s because they’ve been trying to get the COVID vaccine distribution out as fast as they can.  So President Cutie Pie said “Is there something you need Bob?”

Very short, curt and to the point.  Then Bob said “I’m her to talk to Boss but, Huntress isn’t letting me” and President turned to Boss’s office, her door closed and then asked me “Is Boss here?”  I said “Yes sir, but she on a conference call with Lubbock” and President Cutie Pie turned to Bob and said “Did you make an appointment to see Boss?” And Bob started to sweat profusely and stared at his notebook and said “Um, well, I never had to before” as he looked at me.  The President Cutie Pie said “Well, from now on, if you don’t, Boss won’t see you, do you got that?” and walked away.  I looked at Bob and said “Need I say more? Next time, if you don’t call or email before you show up, I’m calling campus police and I don’t think President Cutie Pie will have any issue with me doing so” and I told him to leave.  I stood there watching the motherfucker until he got on the elevator.  He glared at me the entire time and all I did was laugh maniacally as the doors closed. I told Fake Dolly that if he shows up again her job is to stop him or anyone that comes to see Boss and that she needed to call me to tell me someone was here to see her.   

She just nodded her head in agreement, kind of like a bobble head when you hit a speed bump, all nod no brain. 

Then there is Fake Potsie Weber (Happy Days)

Potsie is a wannabe Buzz McCallister and Bob Pinciotti.  He’s a young, naïve kind dumb dude that needs direction for EVERYTHING.  My boss just made him an associate clinical administrator from a unit manager, and the motherfucker doesn’t know what he’s doing.  Fake Potsie thinks he knows his job, but if he did he wouldn’t be calling me all the time to do shit for him.  I would, at first help, but then he got an inflated ego when Boss promoted him.  So when I stopped helping him, he thought he could tell me that since I work for Boss, I technically work for the administrators and it was my “job” to do what they asked of me.  I stopped him right there, and told him that if he needed my help to do the simplest of things then maybe I needed to talk to Boss about his promotion.  If I had to “do” his work for him, then he wasn’t ready to take over an entire clinical department as an administrator and that I should get the raise not him. 

I knew that Fake Buzz and Fake Bob were telling him what to say, because he sounded just like them and in some instances used their words verbatim.  I told Fake Postise, “I’d be careful about who you listen to and take advice from.  Other administrators don’t care about helping you, they just want attention and not all their advice is for your own good, it’s for theirs.”  Cheesus crust these people have bigger egos and god complexes than their doctors, assholes.

Then we have Fake Andrew Squiggman aka Squiggy (Lavern & Shirley)

Fake Squiggy is just that, fake.  He’s a short, annoying pain in the ass who likes to brown nose to anyone whom he thinks will help him and/or praise his mediocre efforts.   This short, briefcase carrying kiss ass is also an administrator and he’s not misogynistic or chauvinistic like Fake Buzz or Fake Bob.  He’s just….a back stabbing little weasel.  One thing you don’t do is piss off my boss, although she’s a soft spoken white lady, when she’s angry it’s like the devil let loose a tornado of fire.  No, seriously you don’t piss my boss of for any reason.  But what did Fake Squiggy do? Yep, he pissed of my boss in the worst way imaginable.  How do you do that? By doing things she didn’t approve with her budget that’s how, and by working with her nemesis, Fake Carol.  Fake Carol to be honest is on her way out, as the VP for Finance she’s alienated pretty much everyone including President Cutie Pie.  She is only now trying to rectify shit she should have a long time ago.  So she thought by manipulating Fake Squiggy she’d get back into President Cutie Pie’s favor….WRONG. 

All she did was cause more upheaval and problems for my boss by manipulating Fake Squiggy into spending money from MY boss’s budget and not hers.  Well, that didn’t go well for Fake Squiggy or Fake Carol.  Since I monitor all of my boss’s budgets, I noticed a lot of things being charged that weren’t authorized by her. I brought it to her attention and then did some research and found Fake Squiggy, the rat bastard was helping Fake Carol in doing shit they shouldn’t.  Now, let me clarify that Fake Squiggy is directly under my boss, so when you go and listen to another VP who isn’t your superior, that doesn’t sit well with any of the higher administration.  Then after my boss tore him a new one, he blamed me for the bullshit he caused.  And of course what did the Huntress do? I tore him another asshole in addition to the one my boss had already given him.  Yep, that’s right I did and he deserved every inch of that new asshole because I told Fake Squiggy that he shouldn’t bite that hand that feeds him by going around our boss.  This motherfucker doesn’t like confrontation, unlike Fake Buzz and Fake Bob, he shrunk into an even smaller, shorter version of himself standing in the doorway to my office. 

Then there is…..Managing Director, whom I’ll call Dora the Explorer

I’m not bashing her, she’s totes awesome, I just thought I’d mention a positive management figure rather than total douche-assholeness. And not because I’m making fun of her by calling her Dora the Explorer, okay I might be, just a little.  But it’s because you can see her walking all over campus carrying her backpack where she keeps her laptop and everything she needs as she travels back and forth from department to department.  She’s one smart cookie, and she’s my boss’s contracting person who has been helping with the purchasing of property around the university for our eventual expansion.  Dora has helped me in learning the ropes when it comes to contracting, the purchase of real property and the design and distribution of space on campus.  Yes, there is such a thing as having space designed and utilized for different departments.  Although Fake Buzz and Fake Bob love to hoard space with putting crap in unused offices, but my boss and I have a plan for those two assholes and their hoarding of space.  Well that’s all for this week.  Stay tuned for the next installment of, (insert echo here)……ASSHOLES I WORK WITH!

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Introducing More of The Cast of Characters I have to Deal With…

It’s that time boys and girls to introduce the array of characters that I have to deal with as my bosses EA.  I’ve already mentioned Fake Mimi, Fake Dolly, Fake Roseanne, Buzz McCallister, Fake Carol and Fake April (who did us a favor and left this place.  So now without further ado, I introduce….

StayPuft EA – She is the EA for the dean of the Dental School, and was in our suite for a while after I got hired.  Why StayPuft you ask?  Because she’s a pretentious bitch who thinks she’s smarter than all of us, and is nice to our face but goes and talks shit behind out backs.  So, given her stature and, ahem, extra bulge/tire/fat she carries, as well as the way she walks across campus (I can see her from my view at the top) she looks like the StayPuft Marshmallow Man from the first Ghostbusters film…

Chucky Jr – She is the even more pretentious, rude, bitch asshole admissions and recruitment for the dental school.  Her nickname is Syd, and ever time I hear Syd, I think of Syd that Sloth from the Ice Age movies.  But then she cut her hair and painted it a Ronald McDonald red, and now she looks like Chucky from the horror movies.  So, she’s been named Chucky Jr., because of the fact that she look just as ugly as Chucky does and has the personality of a plastic doll.  The Dental school people seem to think they are literally “the shit” when it comes to being on campus.  And they are far from it, a few weeks back I was asked (by my boss) to help StayPuft with some documents she needed to submit to human resources.  She claims to be so smart and I was amazed at just how stupid she is.  She’s worked here for three years in this capacity and she didn’t know that procedures for any of the things she was asking my help on.  I did it myself, then sent it to her and told her to use it as a guide for further HR submissions.  She kept calling and emailing me but I never responded.  I told my boss that I wasn’t going to respond because I knew she wanted more help and I just didn’t have the inclination or the time to do it.  Then Supervisor told my boss that the dental school people had to do things on their own, that’s why they hired all of those so-called “experts” to run the school.  Yeah experts my ass the only thing they know how to do is act like they know what they’re doing.

Fake Jar-Jar Binks – This woman is incredible, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  She’s the administrator for one of the clinics on campus.  I use to work in this particular department and she is a complete and utter idiot.  She got hired a little after I did, and she felt inadequate because she didn’t have a degree.  She’s actually a bit younger than I am but you can’t see that because she’s but ugly and her attitude is total shit.  For example, she didn’t get along with the associate administrator because the associate admin had been there longer and knew a lot more.  And after Jar-Jar insulted the associate admin, they began to fight, literally and though emails, jabbing each other whenever they could.  No, it’s not right but the associate admin knew much more about how the department was run.  And not it a bad or self-absorbed kind of way, only that she’d been there for eight year prior to Jar-Jar being hired.  Jar-Jar took this as the associate admin thinking she was better than her, and yes, she was. 

But Fake Jar-Jar had an ego the size of a small compact car and the brain the size of a lentil.  So her tiraid of revenge began, alienating people she needed/needs, insulting others, forcing write-ups on people who she deemed friends of associate admin (even after associate admin left) and making those that were still in touch with associate admin lives a living hell.  She once told me that I wasn’t needed in the department, so I told the department I was actually under what she had said and my manager at the time made sure that our director knew about it.  To make a long story short, I was told that I didn’t have to listen to her because Jar-Jar wasn’t my supervisor.  So I’ve been on her hit list ever since, until that is I got hired here, you see my boss oversees the administrators, so that makes my boss her boss.  And I get the pleasure of returning things to Jar-Jar with comments about her inept writing, her using words out of context and letting her know that nothing she submits is going to be sent to my boss for review or approval unless she does what I ask her to do.  My boss is okay with that, which I love and it’s not in a malicious way either.  Just establishing protocols and procedures which should be followed by everyone under my boss. 

COVID Vaccinations Here at Our Institution

So I’ve been helping with registration and information taking for the COVID vaccine for the first responders and front line workers here at my institution.  It’s been hectic, we’ve had several people from the general public try to sneak themselves in.  And some from our own institution claiming to be “frontline workers.”  Which clearly they are not, for example, we had two ladies from the veterinary lab come in and start yelling that they are front line workers.  Supervisor was trying to calm them down to no avail, so I walked up and told her to let me handle it.  And handle it I did, the Huntress way, you see these two supposed frontline worker bitches are veterinary lab assistants.  They don’t deal with students, faculty or even staff.  They are all alone up in the fourth floor of the research building behind a keypad lock, no one can get in or out.  I know this because I worked in research and know exactly who these two trouble makers are.  So Supervisor stepped away and I told them to calm down and then one of them started yelling at me that it’s her right as a frontline worker to get her COVID vaccine.  So, I treated them exactly how they treated us.  I said “No you are NOT frontline workers, you have NO contact with students, faculty or staff.  You are both in an isolated lab that you can’t get into unless you know the combination to the key pad on the door!  So, you can either wait until the vaccine is available to general staff or I can report you to campus police AND Dr. Research (not his real name) and let him know that two of his employees are trying to scam their way into getting the vaccine before the staff is authorized to do so.  Also, DON’T EVER TRY TO COMPARE YOURSELVES TO REAL FRONLINE WORKERS, it’s AN INSULT TO THE ONES IN THE EMERGENCY ROOMS, CLINICS, FIRE DEPARTMENTS AND POLICE. You should be ashamed of yourselves, frontline workers my ass, now go back to your lab and wait until the staff are told to get vaccinated.  By the way, I’m making sure your names are keep on the list of those that gave us trouble!”

They genuinely looked surprised, then one of them said “You can’t deny us the vaccine, we’re going to report you to the department of health.”  I said “Go right ahead and report us, and when it comes time to have you annual evaluation I will let Dr. Research know that you were not only insubordinate you reported the institution for which you work for to the health department, just because you didn’t get your way.  Remember ladies, don’t bite that hand that feeds you, no one here is irreplaceable!”  They looked at me again with surprise on their faces, then turned and walked away in a huff.  My boss and supervisor stared at me, then my boss asked me if I knew them.  I told her I did, and knew they weren’t the so-called front line workers they claimed to be, fucking bitches.  Seriously, people are stupid and they just seem to get even more stupid as this pandemic gets deeper into a second year.  Well, that’s all for now, this is the Huntress and remember…..

Don’t be a moth around a dim, yellow bulb. Be a moth to the flame, make it worth the burn!

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Catching Up on Things In The Huntress’ World

Happy New Year everyone!!  I hope that you all had a safe and wonderful new year and now that we’re in 2021 we might be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Hopefully it isn’t the damned freight train headed towards us at lighting speed.  Anyway on with the show…..

Lestat’s Cousin Louis, The Self Centered, Forlorn Vampire

On Saturday the 2nd of January I went to go pick up a couple of items at Target, feeling pretty good about the fact that the New Year had begun and nothing major had yet happened, well in a negative way that is, until…..I ran into Lestat’s cousin, Louis the forlorn vampire.  This dude is incredible, not in a good way, he’s just those types of people who you want to avoid at all costs.  One minute he’s bragging about himself and everything he’s done and the next he’s having a pity party over shit that hasn’t gone right for him.  Anyway, Louis recognized me before I had a chance to see him and make my escape because I really don’t want anything to do with Lestat or anyone related to him.  So in essence. Louis ambushed me in the coffee aisle at Target, ugh.  He came up to me and said “Oh hey Huntress, how are you doing?” And before I could run away he was right there in front of me, I was trapped in between the Dunkin Donuts coffee that was on special and the oatmeal.  I stayed quiet, hoping he’d think he had the wrong person but nooooooo, he just said “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in ages.”  I just said “Oh hi Louis, how are you?” and that was it, that was enough to have this dude give me the verbal version of a downpour.  I cut him off because I really didn’t want to answer any of his stupid questions regarding Lestat. 

So I said “Oh Louis I have to go, my son’s waiting in the car, bye” and tried to leave.  He then walked around me and said “So do you miss Lestat at all? I don’t know if you heard but he and Fiona bought a new house.”  I looked at him and said “Louis, I don’t miss that fat bastard one bit, and as far I’m concerned he and Fiona deserve to be miserable together because I know for a fact she doesn’t make him happy and he doesn’t make her happy.  Your entire family is fake, their phony’s, they love to put on a show for the rest of the world.  To pretend that you all are happy, good, kind people but you’re all a bunch of hypocrites.”  Louis just stood there in silence, blinking his brain away because I’m sure he had no clue I was going to go off on him like I did.  A little background on Louise, when I met Lestat he was married to his first wife, Marie.  Then he met some cheap ass wannabe bleach blonde idiot at work and began having an affair, all the while he and Marie were trying to have kids.  This fucker would blame Marie for not being able to have children, yeah that’s the kind of bastard he is. Then Marie found out about the affair and divorced his ass.  Then a year later Marie gets married again, and had twin boys with her second husband.  So I guess we know it wasn’t her that couldn’t have kids.  Soon after that Louis marries the bitch who he had an affair with, and I could tell she was just a money grubbing bitch, because the first thing he did for her was buy her a Lexus. Then bought her a house, remodeled it the way she wanted, and put her name on all of the properties he owned.  Then after four years of being married to Bleach Blonde bimbo, he goes and “tries” to have an affair with his sister in law!!!!  Yes, that asshole tried to hook up with his brother in laws wife, and then she found out about it and divorced that fucker!

Then he met a younger woman with six kids to hook up with because he’s the kind of guy that doesn’t know how to live alone. So he’d rather be with someone whom he doesn’t know, and probably treats him bad because of his past history. Rather than be by himself.

These are the kind of people that are from Lestat’s family tree.  Anyway, I looked at him at continued with telling him that if he ever saw me again anywhere in public that he’d better just leave me alone.  I told him I didn’t care what Lestat was doing or who with, and that my life has been so much better without him!  That last part was strategic because I know Louis will tell Lestat next time he sees him.

Fake Dolly and Fake Roseanne

Before I went on vacation we hired Fake April’s replacement, someone who didn’t impress me much after reading her cover letter.  Seriously it was that bad, but I nor Impostor have the last say in who was hired so, it won’t fall on our shoulders if or when this person fails.  When we did the virtual interviews she came off as chipper, bubbly and a team player.  But then she actually started work and I saw none of those traits.  I’m going to call this person Fake Dolly, because when she came in on her first day of work, she’s much taller than I thought and maybe it doesn’t help that she teases her hair to oblivion.  Yep I started singing “Here You Come Again” when I saw her sitting at the front desk.  Then Imposter gave me the nudge to stop.  But it was only later when we were actually, physically moving that Fake Dolly got on my nerves straight off.

We were walking back and forth from the old to the new building, with carts of boxes for my and Impostor’s boss.  Okay my boss had ONE box, Impostor’s boss is a needy, passive aggressive bitch who kept complaining “who’s going to help me pack?” the entire time we were moving.  Fake Carol didn’t pack until Imposter began packing for her, ugh that woman’s a pain in the ass.  I actually feel sorry for Imposter, her boss is a complete and total bitch.  Anyway, while all of us were moving, cleaning, doing preliminary and final walk through’s at the old office.  Fake Dolly and our other Admin Assistant whom I’ll call Fake Roseanne (because she looks like Roseanne Barr), just sat there, doing absolutely nothing.

It wasn’t until our last trip that we walked in on them on their phone, because IT had already taken their computers, and I lost it.  I asked then nicely albeit loudly, “What are you two waiting for? Get you stuff and go to the new building and unpack your things!  Oh and by the way Supervisor asked both of you to take the boxes of PPE to the new building, so do it!” Fake Roseanne looked up at me and said “She never said that” and then Supervisor said “I sent you both an email last week.”  Then I told both of them, get off your phones and get moving.  We’re almost ready to start working from the new building and you all as just sitting there doing nothing!”  And I walked off into my old office to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind.  When we got to the new office, Fake Roseanne told Impostor she didn’t appreciate being yelled at, and Impostor told her that she and Fake Dolly should have been finished moving, unpacking and settled way before any of us because they are the front desk.  So I’m not in good standing with Fake Fiona or Fake Dolly right now, but meh, whatever, I’m not their direct boss but, I can tell them to do stuff for me if I need it.  But if her attitude is any indication of what kind of work they’ll do, I would rather do things myself. 

After they come to the new office and me and Impostor were going back and forth, all Fake Dolly was doing was sitting at her desk staring at her computer.  NOT ONCE did she offer to help!  Even after me and Imposter had a hard time with some of her bosses boxes, which fell onto the floor and the contents spilled out.  She just sat there like a fucking slug! She wasn’t my first choice so I won’t take the blame for creating another Fake April.  Which by the way Supervisor had Fake April come and train Fake Dolly on some of the systems we use, I’m like do we really want this bitch to teach the other bitch how to do things the wrong way?

Falling Behind and Experiencing Technical Difficulties

Yes, it’s true I’ve fallen behind on reading and posting comments to a lot of the blogs I follow.  I’m just going to blame it on the dumpster fire and the hobo who started it and say, I’ll do better this year.  But, I’ve also noticed that on some of the blogs I follow, I can’t post any comments because it tells me that “An error has occurred” and when I try again, same thing.  So I’m starting to think that I’ve been blocked, banned, hindered from posting to some blogs.  *Sigh* I’ll just keep thinking it’s a technical glitch and not being blocked by those I follow…..

This is the Huntress, saying ”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Are Tenant’s Rights Really Rights?

I normally don’t spur of the moment posts but I think this is one that deserves one and I believe that it might be cathartic for me right now. But I think this particular situation warrant’s a post because what’s been happening since Christmas Eve Eve (yes that’s a thing, watch Friends and you’ll know what I’m talking about.)

Anyway, since last year’s home purchasing debacle and having to wait to buy a house until this next March, I’ve waited patiently to get to the point, not to mention have enough savings, to be able to move out of this shit hole rental home I’ve been in for the last thirteen years.  Okay that’s not fair to the house itself, it’s been a wonderful home for me and my boys.  But it’s lacked, oh how do you say? Maintenance from the homeowner/landlord.  She, is Filipino, she married another Filipino but from American descent and somehow moved to El Paso.   Her sister got her meat hooks into a Navy veteran that was once stationed in the Philippines and moved here as well. 

For the first three years everything was fine, because this Filipino bitch had a rental property management company take care of issues that would arise with the house.  You know, minor plumbing problems, replacement tiles and faucet for the main bath.  When I moved into this house, there were no ceiling fans only bare light bulbs in every bedroom.  So Lestat replaced all of those with ceiling fans and painted my youngest sons bedroom a very striking light blue. 

Also, the fan over the stove stopped working in the fourth year we were here, not to mention the stove that came with the house, only the back burners would work.  So Lestat once again said to me he’d remove her busted ass old stove and put the one I had from where I lived in the apartment in instead.  Then, the house had the original washer and dryer which means that they were from 1982, when the house was built.  In 2013 the washer stopped working, I called the property management company to let them know and they said the owner wasn’t responsible for fixing it or replacing it.  I knew this but I told them I was going to buy my own and put her washer/dryer in storage.

Then the ceiling fan in the living room stopped working, and it was in the middle of summer, so Lestat replaced it with a new one.  Back in 2009, we had a vicious ice and hail storm that wreaked havoc on a lot of homes, damaging their roofs, cars and whatever was outside at the time the storm hit.  Since I’m sure the house hadn’t had a roof replacement since it was built, I didn’t worry.  That’s because a week after the hail storm hit, an insurance adjuster rang my door bell to let me know she was here to inspect the roof.  She took about 45 minutes, and then let me know that the insurance company would contact the owner to let her know they would be sending her a check for the roof replacement. 

Well, the roof didn’t get replaced and by 2010 the roof began to leak, in the dining area and in the hall way.  I let the property management company know, they told me they would contact the owner to let her know.  Well months then years went by with the roof still leaking and getting worse.  It wasn’t until I complained via a vicious email to the property management company and claiming my renter’s rights and how the landlord was neglecting her responsibilities with the lease we both signed. 

Not my house, just a meme I found, but these are the types of repairs the Cheap Ass Sisters make……*insert giant facepalm here*

After much complaint, finally in 2014 the cheap ass bitch finally had the roof replaced, think about it, it was damaged in 2009, then it was replaced in 2014.  That’s five fucking years of waiting on her to do something about the roof.  And still, I stayed because I had a job that I was living from paycheck to paycheck, and moving wasn’t an option for me.  Then, in the beginning of November my son was on one of his days off doing homework when this cheap ass bitch, whom I’ll call Kung Pao because her real name is close to that, yes I know it’s racist but hear me out here, she deserves her nickname in more ways than one.   She had stopped by to tell my son that her dryer broke, and she wanted to know if she could take the one that was in the garage that we use to use. 

I’m thinking here to myself, this really cheap ass motherfucking bitch would rather come and get a 38 year old dryer than buy a NEW ONE!?!?!  Seriously?  My son told her that he’d have to ask me because it was in the storage and it was locked and he didn’t have the key.  She gave him her cell phone and said she’d call me sometime during the week to talk to me about getting the old dryer out.

Well I waited, and nothing for a week and a half I didn’t hear from her.  Then on a Friday night around 9:45 at night, she texts me that she’ll be by early in the morning to pick up the dryer.  Did you get that?  She FUCKING TOLD ME SHE’D BE BY EARLY ON A GODDAMNED SATURDAY MORNING to pick up a damned dryer I hadn’t even gotten out of the garage yet!!!!!  By this time I was pissed and I text her back in the morning telling her I couldn’t be at home to let her get the dryer as I had to work.  Of course I lied, I wasn’t going to wake up early on a Saturday just for that cheap ass, low class bitch to come and get her dryer because she’s too cheap to buy a new one!!

So, my son took the dryer out of the garage and she came by, took the dryer the following weekend and left.  Wait, there’s more……

I’ve been on holiday vacation since the 19th of December and I was peacefully under the impression that I’d spend that time relaxing at home getting ready for the holidays and looking forward to the New Year, like most of us are.  But no, this bitch and her sister show up last Monday without notice and start to “work” on the house.  I was asleep when I heard banging and scraping and then got up and what do I see? These two annoying, cheap ass, make a nickel shit, do-it-themselves bitches scraping the paint off the trim on the house! 

Like totally true, especially when they’re cheap ass mofos who can’t hire someone to make repairs and do a half assed, shitty job themselves!

I was not amused, but I thought she’d only be here that day…..WRONG.  The motherfucking Filipina’s showed up again on Tuesday and after I went outside because I was going to run an errand to Albertsons did I see they used my garbage can and filled it with THEIR fucking trash!!! Then I saw Kung Pao using my water hose.  I just about lost it when I told her she couldn’t use my trash can!  I mean because of the holiday, city services won’t do garbage pick up until Monday.  And now I can’t use my OWN FUCKING TRASH CAN!!!  I also told her that since she isn’t paying for the utilities, she can’t use my water.

“Oh sorry, oh sorry Bebonica” is all I heard as I stomped back into my house.  Then I called the property management company to complain, because after all I am under a lease agreement with them and the owner and I have rights, or do I?

I talked to the owner of the property management company and told her that this was unacceptable and I wasn’t okay with the cheap ass Kung Pao just showing up at the house and fixing things on a whim.  I also made it known that after thirteen years of no actual owner engagement as far as repairs were concerned, NOW she wants to fix the house?!? The lady whom I’ll call Susan understood, and I told her that Kung Pao was using my trash can and water (without asking for that matter) and she said that the owner couldn’t do that and she would call her to let her know.  This was on December 23rd and I thought I’d enjoy Christmas and that would be the end of Kung Pao and her sister General Sao.

What happened today?  The Cheap Ass sisters show up this morning, once again waking me up with their aluminum ladders and speaking in their native tongue so loud the neighbors could hear them.  Speaking of ladders, while my parents were here on Christmas day, my mom went out to my back yard and all I heard was a crash and her scream.  My mom fell over one of the ladders these bitches left lying right by my back door!!

Thank God all my mom had was a bruised hand and shin, this WAS NOT how I wanted to spend Christmas, in the ER with my mom hoping she hadn’t broke anything.  Anyway, they were here this morning and last night I had parked my car about six inches from the garage door.  Yes I did it on purpose because I suspected that the two Ching-Chang sisters would be back without letting me know.

I go out to my car when I couldn’t see or hear them, and I grabbed my keys on the pretense I was going to my car to get something and what do I see?!?!?   I see that the Cheap Ass sisters are precariously perched on a ladder they maneuvered somehow OVER THE HOOD OF MY CAR!!!  They are painting the trim over the garage AND THERE’S WHITE PAINT SPATTERED OVER THE HOOD OF MY BLUE CAR!!!!!

This is exactly how I felt after seeing white paint on my car!!!

This was it, I’d had enough and I went off on Kung Pao, telling her she was inconsiderate and irresponsible to think that I was okay with her working OVER my car!!!  She came down off her ladder and said “Oh is dat paint or is bird poo?”  I was like ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?!  She was noticeably scared and her sister began to speak to her in Filipino.  I told her sister to speak in English because I was not about to stand there while they talked about me in another language. 

She said “Oh, I sorry, I sorry.  Look it come off” as she dragged a dirty ass rag across the hood of my car.  I was furious and told her to keep her hands off my car.  I walked back into the house to get my phone so I could take a picture of the white paint on my car, and when I walked back out, she was still wiping my car down with that dirty ass rag!!  I had already told her to keep her fucking hands of my car and she didn’t listen!!!!  What is it about some Asian cultures that they don’t understand or comprehend when westerners are visibly upset?!?! They don’t take is as a warning but keep doing what their doing?!?!

I yelled at her to stay away from my and my son’s cars and told her that I understood it’s her house but she needs to not come back because she’s violating the lease.  All she kept saying is “Oh I sorry, I sorry Bebonica” which only pissed me off even more.  I stomped back into the house, but did they leave? No, no they fucking didn’t, they continued to work on other parts of the house and that’s when I emailed the property management company.  They’ve been closed since Wednesday, but will be open tomorrow, and I hope to God they call me back ASAP because this motherfucking ass bitch is too stupid and cheap to pay someone to make repairs to the house and rather do a shitty job herself.   She won’t let the property management company do it because they will charge her, and she’s already paying them to manage the home as it is!! I don’t get it, I’m FURIOUS because this stupid bitch doesn’t seem to comprehend how angry she’s made me and I’ve been in this house, paying her over $65K in rent.  And yet she doesn’t understand the she’s alienating the one tenant that has been a great one for over a decade!!!

I can’t stand the sight of her or her Cheap Ass sisters, and after repeatedly telling her to keep her hands off my car, she still wiped it down before I could take a picture!!  She’s ruined my vacation and I told the property management company if she’s willing to pay out of what remains of my lease and find a compatible property for me to move to, I was fine with that.  Which I know won’t happen, but I’m hoping that whatever tenant right’s I have will come into play here and keep this cheap ass Filipino bitch, whom I can’t stand the sight of, from damaging more of my property or belongings. 

I want to say that I have some semblance of holiday cheer left, so I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones and that you are staying well and staying safe. 

This is the Huntress, stay safe, be well and wear a mask!

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Lets Talk About Classic Movies And How They’ve Changed My Opinion About Them

Yep, I thought I’d write a post about old movies, mainly because I was on vacation for a week for the Thanksgiving holiday and binge watched movies like crazy.  In my movie repertoire, I have several classic films I never tire of watching.  But during that week when I did re-watch these films, I reviewed them with a more critical eye so to speak and some of these films were…………….FOREVER RUINED!!! Ugh yes, ruined, fucked up, FUBARED!! What else can I say, but let’s start the review and critiques of my favorite films.  

His Girl Friday 1940 – This is one of my favorites, it stars Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, and it’s pretty much a remake of the 1928 film, The Front Page, also a remake in 1931 and a more comical version, in 1974 with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemon, which is to say the least, hysterical as always when it comes to Lemon and Matthau.  Walter Burns (Grant) is an editor at the Morning Post, and his prized reporter Hildegard (Russell) is leaving to get married.  I loved this film when I saw it back in the day after I had my second son and was home on maternity leave.  I’ve watched it about a hundred times, but last week I realized that, Cary Grant is a complete asshole in this film.  He’s a conniving, misogynistic prick trying to sabotage not only his ex-wife but very talented reporter out of getting married!

And not even because he misses her as his wife, but more so because she makes money for the paper he runs.  I mean seriously, I know this film was made in 1940, when women really didn’t have that much support as far as having a career or supporting themselves.  Or gaining any type of equality from the male species, as in this movie, only to be seen as a prize, a possession or a means of making money.  As much as I love this movie I’m hard pressed to want to watch it again anytime soon. 

I watched and cursed at the television (even threw Chex mix at the screen) as I made my pre-Thanksgiving preparations.  Of course my son would yell from the spare room/office/game room asking me who I was yelling at.  Anyway, on a scale of 1-5 wine bottles, I give this one a 3.

The Nuns Story 1959 – I saw this film one late night when I was a kid, I was with my grandfather and he was babysitting me while my parents were at a wedding.  The only thing that would come out late at night on one of the local channels were classic films.  Which didn’t interest me very much until my grandfather began watching this that day.  Although he didn’t speak English he understood it and seemed very enthralled by this film with Audrey Hepburn.  As we sat there, completely taken in by this young woman Gabrielle Van Der Mal (Hepburn) entering a convent of nursing sisters, to become a nun in the Belgian Congo.   We were captivated by the rituals of becoming a nun, as we watched her part ways with her physician father played by Dean Jagger, after a dowry was given to the convent that is.  The history and religious customs that she had to go through,  like observing the grand silence and letting go of your memories of your past.  One had to erase any trace of the life you lived before entering the convent, and observe, be obedient and take the vow of poverty.  It seemed like such an undertaking as I watched this as a 9 year old, but especially being a girl and having to watch this young nun give up any and everything she’d grown up with.  Like mirrors for example, having to get dresses without mirrors because it’s seen as vane, now come the fuck on!!  Mirrors, seriously?

Anyway, I watched this over the holiday week as it was on TCM, and as I re-watched it I realized that the only way she could become a nurse, was to become a nun? What the literal fuck?!  But Hepburn did turn out to be a true heroine in my eyes, as she couldn’t keep up the façade of being a nun, and not taking pride in her work as an excellent nurse.  Because pride is a sin, and she could not do that as a nursing sister.  She was asked to fail her final medical exam by one of the reverend mothers in order to prove humility. 

After taking your final vows, you erase everything of your former life. Which also includes cutting your hair, because having long hair is considered vain.

In my head I thought this was completely wrong and asking Hepburn’s character to do such a thing was a sin in itself.  I’d have been, nope not doing it, with all due respect reverend mom, I’m outta here.  But I suppose that I wouldn’t have made it past the preliminary vows as a postulant.  I have been thrown out as soon as I complained about wearing the same shit every day and not having mirrors or being able to drink water when I wanted to. 

Audrey Hepburn

She made it past being a postulent, and even got to go to the Belgian Congo to serve as a nurse. She worked with the handsome Dr. Fortunati.

A doctor who was labeled as hard to work with, but throughout their time together it seemed as though Sister Luke was developing feelings for him. But of course being a nun, one can’t develop feelings for anything or anyone. I’m sure this was the beginning of the end as a nun for her.

But I suppose Gabrielle found out that after her father was killed by the Nazi’s, she couldn’t find it in her heart to forgive, and being a nun, that has to run deep in your soul.  In the end (spoilers people) Gabrielle Van Der Mal saw she couldn’t be both a nurse and a nun.  It was either one or the other, and she left that place behind realizing she was a better nurse than she was a nun and taking pride in her work.  But overall, it’s a great film, and the Huntress gives this one 5 out of 5 wine bottles.

Rear Window 1954 – Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly play L.B Jefferies and Lisa Freemont, photographic journalist and fashion guru/socialite boyfriend and girlfriend.  Jefferies broke his leg taking a picture in the middle of a race track, and his sweet girlfriend Lisa is taking really good care of him during his recovery.  Because Jefferies is bored and stuck in his little apartment staring out at the courtyard that links his apartment building with three others, he’s become quite the nosey neighbor.  From there he can stare straight into the apartment of his neighbors.  Watching them like some sort of voyeuristic perv and making some judgmental opinions about his neighbors that somehow are really off key. 

I hate nosey neighbors

When Lisa kindly and lovingly orders dinner from their favorite restaurant he’s snarky about it.  When one of his neighbors, who’s a composer, is playing one of his unfinished tunes, she comments about it and how it seems that it’s being especially written for them, he’s snarky about it. 

This is definitely NOT a match made in heaven. Grace Kelly is the epitome of sophistication and so is her character in this film.

When she presents dinner at his side (lobster Thermidor, French string potatoes, and a fine wine) he’s fucking snarky about it.

Because she suggests that he may want to stay close to home so they can start a life together, he says’ that they are too different and it wouldn’t work out.  He tears her down at every chance he gets, and this is Grace Fucking Kelly were talking about here!! This asshole is a total jerk to her, then they argue and outright tells her to “shut up a minute” so he can assert his masculinity while tearing her down once again.  I love this movie, it’s been one of my all-time favorites for years, but after watching it over two bottles of Stella Rosa wine.  I again found myself yelling at the television calling Jimmy Stewart every name in the book, for being such an asshole all because Lisa is “too perfect” a woman for this prick!  She’s kind, loving, generous and not to mention patient with this sorry ass looking excuse of a man.  As I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, Jimmy Stewart was 48 years old when this film was made and he looks 70.  Yet Brad Pitt is 56 years old and came out shirtless in Once Upon A Time in Hollywood and gives Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper a run for their money.  But looking at Grace Kelly and James Stewart she is by far, more glamorous and way out of his league in this film as far as their characters go.  So I didn’t feel one bit sorry for the motherfucker (spoiler’s people) when he broke his other leg being a nosey neighbor.  But on one last note about this film, and the one His Girl Friday.  It seems that the writers of the screenplays wrote the female characters to be in “need” of a male in their lives to give them purpose.  I give this 3 out of 5 wine bottles, because, GRACE KELLY people!

As “strong” as Grace Kelly and Rosalind Russell’s characters are, they are still written by men who only saw them as an “accent” or an “accessory” to their male lead characters.  Because they were made to come on screen and play a part of a strong female only to wind up needing a man to feel complete.  If it were me in Rear Window, I’d have chucked L.B Jefferies for his detective buddy or said to him “Your right, I am too perfect for you prick, so I’m out of here.”  But of course that’s not how these films were written to begin with.  This is my review/critique of these classic films.

P.s This is a picture of my new office, we’re finally settled in and unpacked everything. Why, yes, those are a pair of GIANT scissors next to the mini-fridge. Those have a story of their own, I’ll post about it later on, but go ahead and just let your imagination run away with you for now.

This is The Huntress saying….”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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Things Happening in the Huntress’ World

First a few comments on the my featured image: Mr. Sherman Hemsley was my neighbor (on the nice side of the street I live on) for about six years before he passed away. I’d see him at the Albertson’s, at the Verizon store and as he took his morning walks around the neighborhood. He was a genuinely humble and good person, he talked to everyone who went up to talk to him. He never said no when asked for an autograph. God Bless Mr. Hemsley, now on with the news!

The Huntress is “Movin’ on Up”…..at least to a 5th floor office with a mini-fridge and new executive furniture that is.  We’re finally moving into the new building after being told that we were to move in July, then Sept, then finally they told us mid-December.  So, now we’ve been instructed to pack up our current offices so that on Weds the IT gang (two rude guys with attitude) could move our computers in the afternoon.  I didn’t really didn’t think I’d have much to pack up, but working with my boss I’ve amassed quite a few binders and files.  But, in the new building I’ll have a bigger office, with a view of the landscaped quad as well as the reserved parking space I have.

We’ve been trying to do as much as we can so that when Weds rolls around we are pretty much set to start working from our new offices.  Then….Fake Mimi sends us all an email that she is going to have surgery at the end of December and she will “have to know” who is going to cover for her.  I was livid, and I know I shouldn’t be but her attitude is so condescending and narcissistic.  The thing is, she isn’t aware she’s being that way.  For instance, a couple of weeks back she came into my office to ask me about a federal grant that the Associate Vice Provost wanted her to work on.  She was giving me the low down about what this woman wanted and I told her what federal grants allowed and what they didn’t.  Then she left and came back two hours later to ask more questions.  I helped her and told her she needed to let my old department know what this person wanted to do.  Because it sounded a bit shady to me. 

Then the very next day she came in bragging about how she balanced her budget and had money to spare and that she told her boss and he was happy and shit, and then made the following comment…

“Everyone knows that I’m like, the finance queen in this suite, with the exception of the VP for Finance and CFO” and that pissed me off.  So my reply?

“So what your saying is, that everyone else in this office is shit at finance even though, all OF US HAVE MASTERS DEGREES, with the exception of yourself, RIGHT?”  She just looked at me and began to stutter….”Well…no, no that’s, that’s not what I was saying.  I, I was trying to say…”

I cut her off and said “You know what Fake Mini, I don’t care what your explanation is, you implied that you’re the only one that can work wonders in finance and that the rest of us, with the exception of Fake Carol, are idiots when it comes to money.  And if you’re the finance queen, you should have known about the guidelines for that federal grant you needed help with a couple of weeks ago, right?” 

She stared at me from behind her mask and just stood there in my office door way like a fucking deer in headlights.

Then I told her “Oh, by the way Ms. Finance Queen, everyone knows that if you have money left over at the end of the fiscal year, they cut your budget by exactly that amount for the next.”  She just kept blinking at me until I got up and pushed her out of my office and closed the door.  Seriously who in the fuck says stupid things like that?!?!  Oh wait, Fake Mimi does, that self-absorbed stupid bitch….Ugh!

I’ve had about enough of Fake Mimi and I’m glad she’ll be out on her surgery for the 8 weeks and won’t have to see her stupid face until the beginning of February.  Because I seriously want to punch her in her Finance Queen Face.

Fake Carol and Her Horrid Holiday Jewelry

As mentioned before we’re all moving, and Fake Carol has been coming in all decked out in holiday garb. Which for a VP is quite tacky to be honest, she wears bells in her ears, around her neck and on her wrist. Which makes her sound like a goddamned Pomeranian jumping up and down wanting attention. We’ve all begun to close our office doors to keep the “jingle-jangle” noise at a minimum because she has horrible taste in jewelry, clothes, nail polish and art. She purchased some art pieces for her new office and they are, to say the least, horrible to look at. Imposter rolls her eyes when Fake Carol asks if they are pretty. Or what she thinks, and my boss rolls her eyes at her mere presence. I actually feel sorry for Imposter, she makes her do some stupid shit, like record her meetings because the bitch is too stupid to press the big red record button on Webex. Or have her go down to her car to take stuff out of her truck to bring back up to her office. She’s often asked her to make copies of something only to revise it and waste even more paper.

And she walks in making sure that EVERYONE notices what she’s wearing because she’s fishing for compliments. It’s hard to compliment someone who has horrible fashion sense, I mean faking it once or twice but every goddamned morning is quite a feat. One can only lie for so long before it backfires on you. But Fake Carol is a lot like Fake Mimi, they have no filter, they act entitled and they believe they know everything about, well everything. When they are the most lost and undelighted of the entire office, ugh it gets annoying. I’m losing my patience with both of them and Fake Carol isn’t even my boss and I don’t work directly with Fake Mini either.

It’s their manner that offends, like Fake Mimi came in this morning with hints of purple and teal in her hair…..IN HER FUCKING HAIR!! The thing is, she’s got jet black hair and unless you have light colored hair it just makes it look…..stupid. So those are the things that are happening in the Huntress’ world this week. I know I’ve been MIA for a while but I’m trying to get my writing mojo going again. Hopefully I can get there sooner than later.

This is The Huntress saying Stay Safe and Wear Your Mask!!

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Don’t Be a Sore Loser, Be a Humble Winner….and Other Happenings this Week with the Huntress

On November 7th there was a sense of relief, the entire nation seemed to let out a huge sigh of relief when it was announced that Joe Biden would be our next president.  Of course not all are relieved, some are still holding on to the last bastion of hope for their candidate of choice.  But as my son put it on Saturday night, he said “The US just let go of a huge dump that was constipating the nation, there is some relief.”  No, not the nicest of words, but very poignant given the situation.  We all know what the big “Dump” was or is, and now that big dump is holding onto the Presidency with his claws to try and fight what the rest of the country has already shouted loud and clear, and that is he is not fit to be this nations president!

So on Sunday morning, I was at Walmart gathering my weekly supplies, when the guard was holding back a woman (Karen I’m going to say) that refused to wear a mask while entering the store. 
I’m still astonished at this, these idiots that follow the orange idiot that think they don’t need to wear a mask because it’s oppressive or uncomfortable.  Seriously? The bitch probably has never felt oppressed in her entire life.  Okay maybe here in El Paso, where whites are the minority so I guess she might have at least once in her lifetime. 

As I passed I just said “Just wear a mask lady and you’ll get in the store” and she turned around and yelled “Oh you’re probably a Biden supporter bitch.”  My oldest son was with me and he immediately grabbed my arm and tried to walk me in the store.  As he “tried” I broke away from him and went back to the door and yelled “Bet your ass I am you idiot, what is it about your candidate that doesn’t understand the science of a pandemic?! And again YES I’m a supporter of someone who cares about others more than he cares about himself, KAREN!”  She said “This is a hoax, and who is Karen?” and I said “No, what’s a hoax is your president’s leadership, that’s why he’s not president anymore you dumb bitch! The country has spoken and he’s out like yesterday’s garbage!”  She tried to think of something to yell back but the guard had begun to walk her away from the door, as she looked my way and gave me the middle finger, and I responded with the Hispanic version that includes my entire forearm.  My son, who came back to walk me into the store said “Why do you let people like her get to you mom? They’re just not worth it, they’re too dumb to believe anything that isn’t on social media.”  He made a valid point, people who still believe that the election hasn’t been calculated correctly, those who believe this entire pandemic is a hoax, those that believe that all of the news they find is on social media is valid and call everything else fake news are not worth it. 

I read an article somewhere that said that the majority of Trump supporters are middle aged, white, uneducated with an income in the mid $30K.  No, I didn’t make that up, one just has to Google “How Stupid Is Trump Really” and tons of articles come with statistics on his supporters and why they chose him to vote for in 2016.  They believe his false claims of immigrants, Muslims, fake news conspiracies and how he’s smarter than the scientists who first warned him of the COVID virus before it got out of hand.  Let’s face it the idiot can’t even hold a conversation, and apparently one of his college professors claimed him to be one of the dumbest students he’d ever had! Yes, it’s amazing that he got into college, but we all know he didn’t finish.  I’m not saying everyone is smarter if they go to college, I can attest that is not true, I’ve worked with engineers and physicians who couldn’t put together a single declarative sentence with both hands and a flashlight.  It just depends on how one chooses to use their college education.

You know what I think? I think that when and if there is a vaccine for COVID, everyone that is a diehard Trump supporter shouldn’t get it, I mean after all they are so smart that they believe it’s a fucking hoax, they should abstain from getting a hoax vaccine right? Let the fuckers die holding on their political god, who put his interest before those of the American people.  That chooses to use the Presidency as a reality show instead of giving us solid, honest, caring and competent leadership.  Who downplayed the virus as he and his supporters call it a hoax which has killed millions around the world, while he was on Twitter spewing his misogynistic, jealous, self-serving rants, instead of doing his job. 

I’ve always been a proud American, our nation isn’t perfect, but it sure as hell is better than most.  Our nation isn’t always right, but we’ve managed to get over worse disasters than this Trumps presidency, and I use those words loosely.  But one thing is true and that is, we as Americans deserves better than Donald J. Trump as this nation’s leader.  And one thing is for sure, he’s already ruined his so called “legacy.” Many historian’s predict that he will be labeled and go down in history as the worst president the United States has had thus far.  So I was glad to say what I did to that idiot at Walmart on Saturday because……………….I am Generation X, I answer to no one!! 

Okay my son did roll his eyes when I shouted that out at the pharmacy section in the Walmart, like Norma Rae trying to recruit union memberships in a loud factory.  As we drove home the song from Charlie Daniels came on, In America.  It talks about how our country has fought for what we’ve built.  How we as a nation have fought amongst ourselves, but outsiders shouldn’t intervene because as Mr. Daniels said……

And we may have done a little bit of fightin’ amongst ourselves. But you outside people best leave us alone ‘Cause we’ll all stick together, and you can take that to the bank. That’s the cowboys and the hippies and the rebels and the yanks. You just go and lay your hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers’ fan, and I think you’re gonna finally understand.”

I had to get the line about the Steelers in, so sue me.

I was all riled up and felt pretty good about my response to that void of a Trumptard supporter.  Then it happened, I got an email on Sunday night that one of my coworkers tested positive for COVID and that I was ORDERED to self-isolate and go for a COVID test…ugh.

If you all are wondering it was Imposter whose mom tested positive but didn’t tell her, she began to feel sick but thought it was her allergies but tested and came back positive.  We had virtual interviews for Fake April’s position all day Weds and Thurs.  We were more than 6 feet apart and I wear a mask all the time, even at work.  I’ve gotten good at mask makeup, which means I don’t put too much effort from my nose down, since no one really sees my mouth.  So now I’m here, self-isolating until my test tomorrow and then for 48 hrs. until I get my results.  I don’t feel sick, I haven’t lost my sense of taste or smell, I don’t have a fever, chills, body aches or pains.  Okay I have a slight headache from the half a bottle of wine I had last night.  But that’s not COVID related….okay maybe it is since we all know that drinking at home has been at an all-time high since the pandemic hit. 

Fake Carol is a Pig..

So fake Carol is not only a fashion disaster, which I have to look at every single freaking day when she walks by my office. But apparently now, she’s just a pig, why you ask? Let me explain, in the President’s suite there is a private bathroom, and it’s hidden away in the back and it was meant for President Cutie Pie, but he’s humble and generous and he told us that anyone could use that bathroom if we needed to. But I choose not to, and here’s why, Fake Carol is a “swatter” which means she doesn’t sit on the toilet seat like normal people, she hoovers above it. And in turn leaves her “mark” on the seat, which is disgusting in itself. Because that leaves the next person to use the facilities to clean up after Fake Pig Carol and I just ain’t doing that shit (no pun intended.) It’s completely deplorable and I can’t believe she doesn’t clean up after herself!! She’s a goddamned vice president and acts like she’s from El Segundo, here in El Paso it’s a section of town known for it’s poverty and gang related violence.

So I don’t use the private facilities because who knows when Fake Pig Carol will use them and leave splashes of her bathroom use on the toilet seat, ugh this woman is fucking incredible, and not in a good way. She also has the most disgusting hands ever!! She has dry, cracked finger tips, I mean has the woman not heard of hand lotion?!?! and when she uses nail polish she winds up chipping and peeling it away and it too looks disgusting. I have no idea how Imposter puts up with her?

P.S – Update to this post, I’ve gotten test results back and I’m NEGATIVE!! Okay negative in test results, Dave! I know you were going to say I’m just negative period, which sometimes I am but shove it DAVE!

This is the Huntress, stay safe, be kind and WEAR YOUR MASK!!!!

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The Things that Bother the Huntress

I know this might sound a bit redundant, because it seems a lot of things that bother me and I tend to rant, talk about them quite a bit.  But there are daily little nuances annoyances that tend to get under my skin because they seem to happen EVERY FREAKING DAY!

Here are a couple…

The passing/fast lane on the interstate is FOR PASSING!!!

Yes, I’ve bitched talked about this one before, but this one rubs me the wrong way every single day I drive onto the interstate so it warrants a second helping.  Why do people insist on holding up traffic because they drive on the passing or fast lane the entire fucking time they are on their commute?  I don’t understand this, just because you’re going the speed limit doesn’t mean you can stay in the fast lane.  It’s called the passing/fast lane for a reason you Prius driving, slow moving “I’m going the speed limit, so I’m not doing anything wrong” self-righteous assholes!!! Get on the far left lane, speed it up, pass the slow moving cars (unless you’re the slow moving little bitch then you should just stay home) then make your way to the middle lane ya PRICKS!!! Don’t hold up ALL of the traffic on the interstate because of your belief that you are going 60 miles an hour, therefor not breaking the law because you’re too stupid to know what to do when you’re driving.  And if you have a goddamned BMW, why wouldn’t you step on the gas and pass all traffic and make your way down I-10 until we no longer see your taillights you bitch?!!?  You know who you are, so move it!!!

Reserved Parking is reserved for a REASON!!!

I pay a little bit more for a reserved parking space here at work, with my new job I thought, why not? This way I didn’t have to look for a parking space when I leave for lunch and come back to park on the far side of the parking lot.  But the last two weeks there has been a white Mazda SUV that’s been parked in MY PARKING SPOT every other day.  There’s even a sign that says “RESERVED PARKING FOR THE HUNTRESS!”  So after calling parking and transportation about a thousand times, and not having any results, even though they are supposed to give out tickets to those that are parked in reserved parking spaces.  At the time I didn’t know if this white SUV asshole has gotten any, but if they have it has not deterred them form parking in MY parking space.  I decided to take things in my own hands and call a tow truck to have that annoying white SUV towed at the owner’s expense.  When the truck got here, the driver called me and I quickly made my way down stairs to let him know which car it was.  Right as that was happening, the owner of said SUV was making her way to her now being towed away car. She began yelling and then she looked at me and said “Did you do this?!” And I said “I sure did” and she began to throw profanities at me and I just looked her and walked up to the sign that said it was a reserved parking space, pointed and told her “Do you see this? This is a reserved parking space that means it’s reserved for one person and one person only, me.  You know why that is? BECAUSE I PAY FOR THIS PARKING SPACE AND NO ONE SHOULD PARK HER BUT ME!!!!”  She looked confused, then said “I didn’t see that it was reserved, to which I added “How can you not see it, it’s right there in huge red letters?”

She began to cry, and then I looked at the tow truck guy and told him to stop.  She told me she was a medical student and was here early every day for her labs.  Well, except for me that is, because I get here just as early as or earlier than she does (about 6:50 or 7am.)  My boss is an early bird and I have to help her catch that worm so to speak. She also mentioned that she thought because she got here early she didn’t think anyone would notice.  Which made me realize that she did indeed know she was parking where she shouldn’t have. I asked her if she’d gotten any tickets, she wiped away her tears and said she had three.  And then, in my head I thought, she must be related to that Prius driving asshole on I-10 that hold up traffic every morning.  She showed them to me, and then I said “Have you paid these?” she nodded no.  I told her that I was going to give her a warning this time, but if I ever saw her car parked in my space again I was going to have it towed for sure at her expense.  I took her tickets with me and told her I’d take care of those, but that she’d better not get anymore or she’d be on her own.  I hate that I have a kind steak in me, it makes the entire Huntress, dark, unforgiving, I’m going to kill you with a spoon, don’t mess with me or my kids, you’ll be sorry you ever crossed my path type of soul hard to hold onto.

Fake Mimi Is a Hoarder and I don’t Like Hoarders….and She’s annoying too

Fake Mini is another Executive Associate that works for our dearly loved Provost.  Dr. Provost is a great guy, an old football player that loves to talk about his alma mater with nostalgia and pride.   He talks about history and books and we have some great conversations.  I’ve actually read a couple of his book recommendations.  But his EA leaves a lot to be desired, she is about 47 years old, married never had kids because she didn’t want any, and that’s her choice which is fine by me.  But she makes her job harder than it has to by doing stupid shit like sending out Doodle polls for my boss’s availability.  I mean send me a goddamned email and I’ll let you know when my boss is available!  You don’t have to get all technical and make your job harder to show off.  Yes, that’s my opinion of what she does, half the time she’s making more work for herself she constantly complains about have so much work she has to stay late or work from home.  So as an EA we have to cover for each other when one of us is out, so the bitch got COVID and I covered for her for two and a half weeks while she was out.  No biggie, her boss is a doll and I love working with Dr. Provost. 

But she began working from home so I began to direct every one back to her letting them I was no longer covering for her.  She then sent me a calendar invite for next week to cover for her while she’s on vacation going to Houston.  I was to say the least, enraged, why? Because she didn’t ask me, and only assumed I do this again when there are two other people that can cover for her instead of me.  Well she came back today and what do I see? She’s colored her hair a teal blue…..that matched her eyeshadow and (gasp) her lipstick.  In my head I’m thinking to myself, how old are you and why do you feel the need to dress like you fucking 15 years old?  She stood in my office jabbering on about her being sick with COVID, how she couldn’t taste…blah, blah, blah.  I couldn’t stop staring at her one dimensional colored head, like teal blue washout.  Seriously why would a grown woman who works in the President’s office of a University think that doing something like that is okay?  When I got hired, along with the operations of the office I had to read and sign, I got handed a dress code, which I also had to read and sign.  But of course no one here really pays attention to if but me.  Supervisor wears printed leggings to work, Imposter Huntress wears colored jeans every day, with blouses she got at a garage sale and Fake Carol dresses like she’s still 30 years old.  But Fake Mimi? Why do you feel the need to color your hair a certain color and then match you freaking eye shadow and lipstick too?!?!  And she rambles on about the same things, how much work she has, why she stays in her office all day long, how much she paid for her new couch (about $6000 if I remember correctly.)  Don’t even get me started on her house, Imposter and I went to take her the laptop she uses for work a little after she got sick and she lives in a very prominent neighborhood, but her house looks like it could come out on the show Hoarders.  She has crap all over the yard, on the porch, in the alley no less.  When I got down to leave her laptop at the door, I glanced into her dining area and there were amazon boxes piled everywhere.  Okay I do too, but they are in the garage where no one can see them and I’m saving them for when I move.  I break them down and put them nice and neat in a pile for when I need them.  She just gets on my nerves period, but I have to work with her so I won’t kill her anytime soon, but at the rate she’s going, that could possibly change before the year ends.

The New Word Press Block Editor

I FUCKING hate this thing…..that’s about it for that subject.

This is the Huntress, stay safe, wear your mask and GO VOTE!!!

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The Urge To Write…..Is Gone….For Now

Those words definitely ring true, I haven’t had the urge to write at all.  I don’t know if it’s been because my new job has kept me busy writing for business purposes, which lets face it can get a little dry.  Or because I don’t think I’m a good writer in general.  But the fact that I’ve lacked the interest in writing is scary to me because ever since I was little all I’ve ever wanted to do was write.  My ambition, like all wannabe writers, was to write the great American novel.  Okay that’s a stretch but I do or did want to write my very first book by the time I hit 50, and well that’s in the rearview mirror now.

So at this point I’m not sure what is going on?  I’ve also lost the urge to run, but as much as I’ve fought with myself to just get home and lie on the couch like a slug and eat Rocky Road ice cream right out of the container, I’ve still managed to make myself run my 5K or three miles a day.  I’ve slowed down in my time too, but that’s another story entirely.  The main reason for me pushing myself to run is because, I don’t want to get fat again.  I’m amazed at myself that I’ve actually gotten to where I can run three entire miles without passing out, falling off the treadmill, laying on my bedroom floor covered in sweat my limbs twisted and contorted as I reach for the bag of Oreo’s on my dresser.  Don’t judge, doesn’t everyone keep Oreo’s on their dresser?

When I began my weight loss journey, I weighed 202 pounds and I do not want to get back there again, so that is the motivation, however faded or misguided it may be I refuse to go back to being that heavy.  But I’ve also realized that I’ve come a very long way health wise.  I can now run for three miles straight without stopping, falling, passing out, or looking like Elaine from Seinfeld when she’s dancing (that’s what I look like when I run) and I finish in less than 30 minutes.  Again my motivation for running, as mentioned is to stay healthy.  My lack of motivation for writing is something totally foreign to me.  So I don’t know where this is coming from, or maybe I just really don’t feel like writing anymore or maybe just for the time being. This is my short and not so sweet post for this week.

This is the Huntress, stay safe and wear your mask! COVID is NOT A HOAX!

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EVERYBODY PANTS NOW!! PANTS, PANTS, PANTS, PANTS, PANTS……

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel today, I walked in the office (I’m usually one of the first ones here) singing and dancing my way down the hall, in heels no less….why you ask?

Because Fake April gave her TWO WEEKS NOTICE ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON!!! Yes ladies and gents, Fake April got the job with those arrogant asshole zombies at the Dental School.  I am, to say the least ecstatic about this new revelation, we’ve known she wasn’t happy here because she didn’t want to be told what to do.  Yes, seriously she’s that kind of personality, she wants to be a boss, but has no clue about how to actually get to be a boss.  She just thinks it’s telling people what to do and having a big office.  Boy is she in for a rude awakening, one of the Director’s under my boss told me that she applied for a job in his department, he even gave her an interview.  But he and he hiring panel were put off by her answers to their interview questions which consisted of, “Tell us about your work ethic?”

Her answer? “I like to do things my way.”   “Do you consider yourself a team player?” Her answer, “I like to do things my way.”   Well, it’s going to totally come as a shock to her that, her new job isn’t a “boss” job, it’s a coordinator and the dumb bitch left for the same pay and more work.  She didn’t like it here because she was our administrative support, and again she didn’t like people telling her what to do.  I can’t contain my sheer enthusiasm at her getting the fuck out of our office!!  I’m so excited I can’t stand it! 

She’s a toxic person, her attitude (not to mention her sloppy work ethic and dress) make our entire suite look bad. 

Okay enough about this shallow bitch, on to the next monstrous personality in our office, and unfortunately its Impostor’s boss.  She is another VP but, honestly she lacks personality, professionalism and above all sophistication and decorum.  Yes, this is a vice president I’m talking about, I’m going to call her Fake Carol Burnett, because she’s just as loud, just not funny or witty like her.  So Fake Carol is about 63 years old, not very old (yeah the older I get the more I realize that 60s and 70s aren’t old anymore) but she comes in wearing the most hideous outfits.  She dresses like she’s still in her 20’s and not in any way professional for a vice president.  For example, at my age (yikes 51) I don’t wear anything above the knee, and I do mean nothing.  My wardrobe consists of mostly tailored business suits and professional dresses. 

Fake Carol, on the other hand, dresses like she’s going to a night club, and that’s putting it mildly.   For example, today she walked in wearing a mini-dress that when she bent down to pick up a copy that fell at her feet, you could (if you were looking) see her entire hoo-ha.  NO, I’m not exaggerating one bit, yes she has killer legs for her age.  But no you shouldn’t ware something like that to the office.  She also has a penchant for tacky ass jewelry, she matches everything with her clothes which doesn’t necessarily mean you have to.  When you do, one tends to become a color blur, but that’s just me and how I think.  She has more shoes than I do (if you can imagine that) and wears the stripper-platform type to work, another big no-no.  I’m talking the clear platform, six inch heel kind and she has them in all different colors (to match her outfits of course) but those shoes aren’t something one should wear to meetings I think.

She also has the really awful habit of matching the color of her lipstick to her eyeshadow, and that has sometimes has been purple, green or gawd, even orange.  This woman is a fashion disaster, and what makes it even worse is that she has this condescending tone when she talks to you.   This makes me wonder why Fake Carol dresses like she’s still 25 years old and Impostor making no effort to dress up at all.  Yes, as far as Impostor and I are concerned, we’ve come a long way in our working relationship, I still have no clue why she dresses like she’s staying home on a Saturday to paint her kitchen.  Colored jeans, faded may I add, and tops she’s mentioned she’s bought at Saver’s.  Now don’t get me wrong, I shop at Saver’s too, but I’ve bought some real good finds, business suits and designer dresses to be exact.  Not faded blouses that she thinks are a steal that don’t even match her jeans.  Yes, I know some of you might say, well The Huntress is a fashion snob, because she’s criticizing this woman’s wardrobe. 

Yes and no, and he’s why.  First off she’s 63 years old, a Vice President at a medical university AND the head of the Human Resources department.  There is a standard code of dress for university employees, so why doesn’t she adhere to it? Your guess is as good as mine, and you’d think that being that old one would season, mature with age so to speak.  Even I know I can’t pull of a skin tight band aid dress anymore, not even to go out socially, but to wear it in the office?  But then again this particular VP doesn’t understand social cues, or any cues to be honest.  She may have the body of a 29 year old, one can if they’ve never had kids and she hasn’t, but she’s got the equivalent of hammer time on her face.  She’s not anywhere near attractive.  As my former coworker said “She’s a four bagger for sure.”  Most of you will know what that means.  And when asked why she never had kids, she responded with “I didn’t want the responsibility of having to take care of anyone else but myself.”  Yes she actually said that, and talk about selfish, she’s one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met, and this includes my mom people.  She and my boss have had their verbal scuffles and my boss puts her in her place pretty damned quick, and that’s why I love my boss.  She’s a kick ass woman who doesn’t mince words and does her job well.

UPDATE…..As per River at Rivergirl’s request, I have an actual photo of Fake Carol in one of her getups….you’ve been warned…

Well that’s my post for this week, I have so much more but I have to get to work now. This is The Huntress, stay safe and wear your mask!!!

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Have You Ever Wondered…..

What real life would be like if we could live it as though in a movie?

This post came about because I’ve had a lot of stuff happen in the last two weeks that got me thinking, why can’t my life be like a movie?  Yes, I know it sounds a bit odd, but I think we’ve all had that feeling, and sometimes we just want to have the day we’ve been having end, by having credits roll at the end and maybe a post credit scene like in Deadpool, where Ryan Reynolds mimics Ferris Buller at the end of that movie.  Okay yes is sounds confusing but my nerves (not to mention my patience) are coming to a car crash, flying through the air in slow motion, shooting paint ball at my enemies, while looking devastatingly on point movie scene end……see what I did there?

So, pan back to my life two weeks ago before the clusterfuck of issues came about in helping this homeless mom and son started.  I’m sitting in my office, happy as a motherfucking clam (how can you tell when a clam is happy by the way?  Like do they laugh out loud or what the fuck?) and then I got the message from my son asking if I had any blankets to donate to this family.  I’ll leave it at that because I’m so done with this situation and my son’s now ex-girlfriend.  Then as I began to focus solely on my job again, I get hit with some asshole physician and a department administrator that are terrorizing their department.

My boss is now in charge of HR and she’s been in charge of clinical administration, so the complaints have come through to her.  I’ve worked in this department previously, so I know what a total hell hole that bunch of pit vipers are like.  I count my lucky stars that I got out there and into the research side when I did.  I have no doubt I’d be one of the ones complaining as well.

As I began to reflect on my life this year (which has been a complete shit-show, just like the current Baboon in the White House’s Presidency) I couldn’t help but wonder, what if we could decide to have our bad and good days, weeks, years end or begin like a movie?

You know have that good days end with wind blowing through our hair, walking in slow motion as we high fived everyone walking past us and getting into our cars and driving away blasting our favorite song on the radio?  Or if our emotional state would be introduced to those around us by the soundtrack of our mood? For example, Fake April has been, thus far acted just okay and that’s because we all found out that she’d applied for and I believe have gotten a job with the new dental school here.  A little background on the “dental school”, they are fairly new and honestly a bunch of fucking asshole morons who walk around like they own the damned place and yet, they have no actual student’s enrolled.  Yeah, I don’t know how we can have a dental school with no students, go figure?

Anyway, Fake April applied for a coordinator position with the zombies from the dental school, and I call them zombies because the dean and the associate dean are like 105 years old.  They are arrogant as are the people they hired to work for them.  They, along with their “staff” make the dental school a total of six people…..six arrogant, self-entitled, ignorant of how things run, always asking for help, can’t do shit on their own, useless…..….people.

They use to be in our floor, in our actual suite but they recently moved into the new building which they narcissistically call the “Dental building” not realizing it’s not.  They haven’t brought in any actual revenue in order for them to lay claim to anything on campus, but that’s how narcissistic they are.   The building is actually called the research and sciences building and our office will be moving in there as well.  But, the President’s suite will be on the 5th floor and the Dental Zombies will be on the 2nd, which is still not far enough for me.

But I digress so Fake April is pretty sure she’s got the job, and I’m hoping she does because that would make all of us ecstatic! But last week she pissed me off, and when that happened I could hear and feel my anger soundtrack start up…….for all of those wondering, it’s Metallica’s Enter Sandman…..

As I went down the hall from my office to the front desk, the guitar strings began as my slow motion walk started…then the percussion……..followed by the electric guitar….then…..BOOM the lyrics start….

Blah, blah, blah……..”Somethings wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight and they aren’t of snow white”…..you little conniving bitch!

I had asked her to order a new battery for the almost new laptop in the conference room because the dental zombies fucked it up by not using it the way they should have.  The President had a Webex meeting he needed to attend and the laptop didn’t work, he was not happy.  So I asked her to order a replacement battery after the IT guys gave us a quote.  But she didn’t and the president had another online meeting and the fucking thing didn’t work again!  I called her up front and asked her why she hadn’t (at this point it had been three weeks) and her response? “Oh…I forgot”…..she forgot, the little bitch fucking forgot!!

Hence my slow motion, angry as fuck, Metallica soundtrack playing in the background (okay only in my head) while I walked up to the reception area and tore her a new one.  If the president gets angry because the laptop that supposed to be at his disposal for his online meetings doesn’t work, the little bitch should have ordered it!!

We’ve all had those moments of anger or happiness that warrant a soundtrack or movie credits.  Imagine having credits after a successful meeting that you presented in and totally hit it out of the park, mine would be something like this…….

Kick Ass Presentation

Writer……………………………….The Huntress

Producer……………………………..The Huntress

Executive Producer………………………………The Hunterss

Director of Badassedness…………………………The Huntresss

Music……………………………………Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan

Director of Photography……………………….The Huntress

Editor………………………………………….The Huntress

Production Designer…………………….Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan

Lead Editor……………………………………..The Huntress

Staring

Kick Ass Executive Associate…………………………………The Huntress

The President……………………………….President Cutie Pie

Vice President of Awesome……………………………………….Muh Boss

Co-worker…………………………………………………….Imposter Huntress

Co-worker #2……………………………………………………….Supervisor

Annoying Fake Laugh VP……………….Imposter Huntress’ Boss

SPECIAL THANKS TO…..

Our Departmental IT guys for their support and help at not fucking up the audio for this production.

A very SPECIAL thanks to the Zombie Dental School for moving out so we didn’t have to share our donuts and coffee…….you zombie bastards.

Of course because I use the free Word Press blog, I can’t actually upload a freaking power point or video to my blog without converting to the business account. My blog doesn’t get that much traffic to warrant me paying $205 a year just to be able to install plugins that could help with the uploading of my own videos and such. So y’all are going to have to use your imagination and pretend the credits above are scrolling.

This is The Hunteress…….Stay safe and wear your mask!

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Good Intentions…..WTF?!?

This isn’t so much a post, it’s more of a rant of rage because it’s something that should have turned out well, but didn’t.  What is that saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions, welcome to hell and the good intentions that got me here….

Two weeks ago my son, the one that works at the same university that I work for, sent me a text asking if I had any blankets I could donate.  I asked donate blankets for what? I thought to myself that he was probably asking for donations for his “church.”  I say it that way because, as I’ve mentioned before he is “converting” to being a Jehovah’s Witness because of his girlfriend, in order for them to marry.

I told him I had two or three old blankets, but still usable he could have.  He said he’d drop by the house after work to pick them up.  I asked him again why he needed them, then he proceeded to tell me about a homeless mom and son who were living out of their small broken down car.  His girlfriend had come across them at the shopping center where the salon she works at is located.  And that my son and Mel (Melissa, not her real name) were checking on them periodically, taking them food, water and such.  He told me that Rose (the mom, not her real name) had asked Mel if she had any blankets because it had gotten cold the night before.

Well, this was enough for me to begin to think about how I could help these people.  From what my son told me, they were a mom and son who had become homeless due to the COVID situation.  She and her 21 year old son had been living in their car for roughly three and a half months.  I was sitting at work, crying in my office because the thought of this mother and her son living out of their car was just too much for me NOT to try and do something to help.

That day after work, I got home changed and instead of running I went to Walmart and bought two cases of water and non-perishable snacks/food.  I also stopped by the local Savers thrift shop and bought two more, thicker blankets and socks for the mom.  I went by the parking lot where my son had told me they were located.  I got there and I met Rose, she was in her car with her little dog.  I introduced myself to her and she got out, and when she saw what I had taken her she began to cry.  So then I began to cry, and soon both of us were crying. 

I asked her if there was anything she needed, she said not at the moment.  Then I had to ask how she got to be homeless.  She told me that she had followed her boyfriend here from Long Beach six years ago, and brought her two kids with her.  She mentioned she was from El Paso but had lived in California all her life, and when her ex told her he was moving here for work, she followed. 

Then she said their relationship was a rocky one, and that when the pandemic hit and they were together in such close proximity, it turned violent.  He kicked her and her kids out of the house they shared, since he was the one that worked and her and her kids had been living out of their small 2001 Chevy Cavalier since then.  She told me her son had just recently gotten a job at IHOP, and that’s where he was.  I asked about her other child, and she told me that her daughter (19) had left because they argued about Rose being the reason they got kicked out of their home. 

The IHOP where he works is about two miles from where their car is.  So what did we do? All of us, me, Mel and my oldest bought him a mountain bike for him to get to and from work faster.  I also bought him a backpack and the chain and lock for his bike to not get stolen.  Snacks to keep in his backpack and lights/reflectors for his bike.  My brother came by to change out the tires, put in non-flat inner tubes, clean and tune up the bike so we could take it to Daniel (not his real name.) 

Seriously I was emotionally torn….fast forward two weeks later.  My son’s girlfriend Mel had been trying to figure out how to get them a place to live.  When I told her I’d try to help she was all for it, I went to work the next day tired, my face swollen from crying the night before, and my mind focused on getting these mom and son off the street.  I told Imposter Huntress about this, and she came on board with her twin sister (yes, can you believe that? Imposter has a twin!) with money and more bottled water, clothes for Rose and her son.  Then it got bigger, Imposter and I were having lunch the next day and my boss joined us in the conference room.  She asked what we were talking about, because we had mentioned contacting the Housing Authority about emergency housing.  We both were furiously taking notes, eating our lunch and forging a plan to help these two homeless people.

After we explained what we were doing, my boss asked what she could do to help.  I told her I’d let her know as we were trying to find somewhere for them to stay.  My boss said to me she’d happily donate $2500 to go towards their rent.  Both of us were in shock and grateful at her generosity.  Now I know that $2500 doesn’t seem like a lot of money.  But in El Paso that is, depending on where you can find it, cheap rent for at least six months.

So, I called and told Mel, she seemed…..sedated about the entire thing, seriously that was her reaction.  I thought for sure she’s be excited about this.  During this time I’d go by and check up on Rose and her son Daniel to make sure they were alright, taking them food and water.  During this time their non-working car was in the parking lot of a Walgreens, adjacent to where Mel worked. Rose had told both myself and Mel that the manager of the Walgreens had harassed them, telling them they were drunks and drug addicts.  I was to say the least, pissed off!

She said he had called the cops on them and she had spent two nights in jail because of him.  So Mel had asked her boss if they could park their car in back of the salon.  She agreed, now mind you this woman owns the salon, I’ve met her and she’s a mean Koran lady.  So her agreeing to this was to say the least surprising.

So that night me, my boys, Mel’s dad and brother and some high school kids that saw us pushing the car helped us take the car to the back of the building where the salon is located.  Mel thought (stupidly) that they’d be safe there.  My first thought was, the mean Korean lady rents a space in this building she doesn’t own the actual building.  I mentioned this to Mel and she told me (in a very bossy and authoritative voice) that they’d be okay.  Now, y’all know I don’t take kindly to shit like that since I’m trying to help, and because I’m a critical thinker and contemplate all of the possibilities of what can and can’t go wrong. 

But, I didn’t say anything and my youngest was mad at Mel for talking to me like that.  I told him to let it go and that it wasn’t about Mel, it was about Rose and Daniel and getting them to a safe place.   I and Imposter were furiously contacting charities and churches to see if we could get help for them.  Any help, temporary housing, medical attention etc.  Mel, couldn’t do this, okay she could because the bitch doesn’t go into work until 11am when the salon opens.  And yes I called my son’s girlfriend a bitch and I’ll explain why later.

During all this time several other people had gone by to visit Rose and her son, they got donated a folding tent, you know the kind one uses at tailgates or for temporary use.  Which helped them with the heat, they also got some sports chairs, a cooler, a small table, two sleeping bags and about $150 dollars for their use.  As mentioned, I’d go by to check up on them and to give them updates on what I, Impostor and Mel were trying to accomplish.  Rose and her son were grateful……at first.

Yes, you heard right, you see I had talked to Rose that even though we were trying to help them, they also needed to put in their part.  I told her after she was found somewhere to live, she needed to apply for housing, food stamps, Medicaid, and see if she might qualify for disability.  She had mentioned she had a bad back, and couldn’t do a lot of physical work.  She “said” she’d tried to look for work but when potential employers found she couldn’t lift or stand for too long, they would tell her they’d let her know and she’d never hear from them again.  Now, this for me is a red flag, but that’s just how I think, but I could be wrong.

Because of this, Mel found out I had asked Rose about this and she got mad.  Telling me it was none of my business if she was hurt or not.  Now this started a snowball of emotions for me because I had liked Mel before this.  But now, she was just being a fucking bitch and hoped to God my son wouldn’t marry her.  Okay I’m getting off track here, so with this Mel talked to the Mean Korean, and got Rose a part time job at the salon.  Cleaning, answering phones and re-stocking the techs stations, which I was grateful for.  Now, many people could look at Rose and Daniel and think, at first glance, that because of the extensive tattoos and chopped thug language they are just that, thugs. 

But to me, she’s a mom who needs a home for her and her son.  I didn’t see that image…..right away at least.  Yes I know how that sounds, but I’ll continue.  During this time, Mel was telling my son that I was interfering and moving too fast, that I had to let Rose and Daniel adjust to everything I was doing.  I thought to myself, is she fucking kidding me? She wants them to adjust to them being homeless?!?!  My son told me this and I was furious, but I told him that this wasn’t about Mel, this was about Rose and Daniel and how they needed a huge push at a fresh start at getting back on their feet.  My son agreed and he told me he’d talk to Mel.

Meanwhile Imposter and I were getting nowhere with any of the charities we’d been emailing and calling on a daily/hourly basis.  My oldest son told me I should seriously consider contacting my ex-husbands wife, you know the one that also works for the university I work for.  This is because her sister has a charity/ministry that helps a lot of the community here and in Juarez with food distribution, clothes, counseling etc.  I didn’t want to, but when Imposter and I had found ourselves at a loss, I gave in.  After all this wasn’t about me, it was about helping Rose and Daniel get out of living in their car and into a house or apartment somewhere. 

I called her (reluctantly) and told her what was going on, in turn she called her sister and BAM! In literally half a day, her sister had found them an apartment, furniture, clothes AND the ministry was going to stock their fridge with food for them.  I was speechless and y’all know that shit doesn’t happen to me often, right? Okay hold all your snarky comments….you know who you are.

All the ministry needed was two or three check stubs from Daniel, as he’s the one with the job, and their full names and an active email address.  I was going to give them mine but I found out that despite being homeless they actually had email addresses and broken down cell phones that worked off of Wi-Fi.

Fast forward to Tuesday afternoon, after I found out that someone was willing to move fast and help these people, I went by to go and collect the information from them so I could email it to my ex-husbands wife, so she in turn could send it to the apartment complex they were working with.

I got there and Rose and Daniel were arguing, and they argue a lot.  The bike we bought Daniel was on the ground, just lying there as it had been thrown down.  I had told him to please make sure he took care of it and lock it up to the metal door near the rock wall.  It’s understandable that they are arguing they are both in each other’s face all the time, their homeless situation, not having enough money to put down a deposit for a place etc.  But I (and Mel) had told them they needed to keep a low profile until they got a place so they wouldn’t get thrown out of the parking lot.  Although Mel kept telling me this wouldn’t happen because he boss said it was alright.

I got there and had to calm them both down, and let them know the good news. Rose was excited, and Daniel? Not so much, after all he’s a 21 year old kid and even though he’s homeless, he still has a lot of maturing to do.  Rose kept telling him to get his check stubs together, all the while he’s on his phone ignoring her.  She finally yells at him and he yells back and meanwhile I’m questioning why I’m helping these people…yes I was.

So he gets up all pissed off, looking through a pile of clothes, rifling through them to see if he can “find” the three check stubs I need.  Rose yells at him again, telling him why he doesn’t use the envelope she gave him a month ago to safely keep them in.  Of course, he yells back and I’m standing wanting to get the fuck out of there.

After 15 minutes he only finds one, I tell him I need three because that’s what the lady at the ministry said the apartment complex needed.  He says he can go to work and get copies of them, so I tell him when he does to take picture of them and send them to my private email.  I get all the other info from them and leave.  All the while I can hear them yelling at each other, the loud raspy voice of Rose resonating off the rock-wall that surrounds the back of the building.  I’m mentally and physically exhausted by this point.  Mel calls me shortly after, and I tell her that the charity had found them an apartment, she said that she’s happy and tells me that Rose and Daniel have been fighting all day.  I told her I was there with them and I had to stop them from yelling at each other….again. 

I had given Rose my cell phone number to text me when she had her sons check stubs so that I could check my private email since I’m at work and have to do my actual job so that I don’t become homeless myself.  So, yesterday around 9am I get a text from Rose, telling me that someone went by claiming to be a building inspector and told them they had to leave, that it was private property and they couldn’t live there.  She said that she didn’t have Mel’s number (even though Mel had given it to her numerous times), so I text back that I’d contact Mel to tell her what was going on.  I did, Mel called me all mad and panicked saying that whoever went by can’t do that, they she’s not going to move them, blah, blah, blah.

I let her rant go on until she asked me if I was still on the line, I mentioned to her that actually they can do that since the building doesn’t belong to the Mean Korean, and that someone probably reported them for being loud and obnoxious.  And that both of us had told them to keep themselves quiet and not draw any attention until the charity could secure them a place to stay.  Mel was not happy….why?  Because I had told her the truth about parking the car behind the salon, and that Rose and Daniel weren’t doing what they needed to in order to help themselves.  Like getting me his check stubs the afternoon before instead of arguing with each other. 

She didn’t say much, but to tell me she had to go and hung up. During the course of the morning, she texted me 32 times, asking if the charity could get them into the apartment sooner than October 1st (that was the time the apartment complex told the charity they could get Rose and Daniel in) and I told her that at the time, I still didn’t have his check stubs, so until them sent them the apartment complex couldn’t send them the application. The application is something they need to do themselves because they need their social security numbers and other personal information. She also proceeded to tell my son that I was being unhelpful, that I wasn’t giving her all the information. He told me he was on the phone with Mel and that she had said she didn’t even know who this charity was, and in the background Rose had yelled that she didn’t know either, that it could be a scam. Mel had said that it all seemed very shady to her and she didn’t even know if there was a “real” charity to begin with. I sent my son the charity/ministry website and he sent it to her, then she said (stupidly may I add) “This isn’t even a charity, it’s a ministry!” So, now I know that she’s definitely NOT the sharpest tool in the shed if she doesn’t know that non-profit ministries are charities, an actual 501c3 may I add.

The Huntress was FURIOUS, first because my poor son is caught in the middle, and second because this snotty little bitch is accusing me of lying to her!!!  I told my son I was done, that I was going to give the charity Rose’s and Mel’s number and they could contact them directly.  I actually contemplated asking them (the charity) to return the $2500 check my boss so graciously donated and let Mel figure out how they are going to pay for 4 or 6 months’ worth of rent! 

My youngest, who lives with my middle son (whose Mel’s boyfriend, keep up with me here) told me that he argued with Mel yesterday when she went by to tell my son that I was being a bitch.  My youngest said that he told her that if she went by to bash his mom, she needed to get her fat ass out of their house, and not to come back unless she apologized.

He told me Mel left, but during the time it took her to get home, she had broken up with my son and blamed me because I didn’t move fast enough to help Rose and Daniel.  I was fucking furious, first of all because at first she accused me of moving too fast, that they had to get use to the help.  Then I’m not moving fast enough for the fat ass control freak because someone reported them due to being loud enough to hear a block away, and were being thrown out of the back of the building!!!

I’m done, I no longer wish to be involved in helping this woman and her son, because not once have I seen them put in any effort into helping themselves.  Yes, I do know how that sounds, but let me tell you if I were in that situation, I’d be getting all the information the people trying to help me they needed asap.  AND if I was told not to call attention to myself in order to be able to stay where I was temporarily staying, I’D FUCKING DO IT!!

My oldest told me that I need to let Mel take it from here with the help of the charity, and wait for them to use the money for the rent and leave it at that.  He made me see that even though I had the resources to help these people faster than Mel could have, Rose, Daniel and Mel wouldn’t be grateful for it, and would never be.  I always though my oldest to be somewhat hard-hearted, but that’s because he’s been through some shit, but he made sense in this case.  He’s a real softy when it comes to me and his brothers though, and he doesn’t yet know that Mel broke up with his brother.   I’m sure when he finds out, he’ll be furious at her, supportive of his brother and telling me “I told you so.”

The Huntress915 on the Highway to Hell….

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The Archangel Murders

(draft) Chapter 1

The crisp morning air cut through the dawn, it was still too early for the sun to shine on the grizzly scene that had been discovered only hours before.  Yellow and red police tape was stroon about the parking lot, flashing red and blue lights made their mark on the building’s east side wall, like a shadow figure skipping through the foreboding dark red brick. 

Voices were muffled, I could hear the jingle of keys, the articulation of proper police jargon over the transmission airwaves coming from their cruisers.  There was red-brownish spots on the dirty asphalt of the parking lot, I could see my breath as I exhaled.  Then the white van with the cross painted on the side was let into the parking lot by the uniformed police officers guarding the entrance to the university’s campus.  I had to look away, I was cold but yet couldn’t process the chill of the dawn….I was still in shock.

A tall, gray haired man walked towards me, he was about six foot four and walked confidently, dressed as if it was just another day at the office.  Crisp dark blue slacks, a white, pressed shirt, red tie and a dark blue blazer.  His badge hung around his neck on an inconspicuous chain, and swung back and forth as he made his way to where I was.

As he got closer he stopped and talked to two of the plain clothes detectives and one uniformed policeman.  They nodded, all looked towards me, then he began the ten foot walk towards me.  I stood underneath one of the small oak trees, it was fairly new as they had been planted when they were saplings when the campus first opened ten years ago.  Oak trees are not native to this part of Texas, but yet neither was I.  I looked down as I felt the warm tears fall down my cheeks.  As he got closer he talked to one of the police officers, the officer nodded and then opened the trunk of his cruiser pulling out one of those thermal, silver emergency blankets and handed it to him.

He came near me, slowly with caution almost if approaching a wild animal, careful of how I might react.  As he got closer his deep voice pierced the morning frost, “Hello, ma’am, my name is detective Richard Logan” as he unfolded the emergency blanket and put it around my shoulders.  That’s when I realized I was shaking, I felt the warmth of his hands as he pulled the front of the blanket around my neck.

“I’d like to ask you some questions Ms………” he stopped short as he didn’t know who he was talking to.  “Ms. Nevarez” I said softly.  “Ms. Nevarez, please come with me” he said as he guided me towards a big black Ford F150, it must have been new because as I glanced towards the front of the truck it still had paper license plates.  It was immaculately clean for this time of year, not quite cold but the rain had been hitting the city for the last week, only giving a couple of days of sunshine. He still had one had on my shoulder, he told one of the other detectives “I’m going to talk to Ms. Nevarez, call me if you need anything.”

He took out his keys from his jacket pocket, I heard the unlocking mechanism of this behemoth of a truck, and he reached out to open the door for me.  “Please…..get in, it’s much warmer inside” he said as I turned up to look at him.  His ice blue eyes staring down at me, wrinkles of experience and age framed them.

I nodded and he helped me up into the truck that was about almost two feet off the ground.  As I climbed in, he closed the door, it was warmer in there and it still had that new car smell.  As he walked around the front of the truck I looked towards the back seat of his crew cab, I noticed clothes and a black duffle bag.  Inside there was an electric razor, some cologne, toothbrush and other toiletries.  He opened the door to the driver’s side and he seemed to get into his truck without any problem.  He was tall so he didn’t have to climb onto the step rails like I did.  He took his keys and started the truck and as it roared to life he turned on the heater.  As he looked over towards me another officer walked up with two cups of coffee.  Detective Logan rolled the window down, said thank you and closed it back up.

He said softly “It’s colder than usual for this time of year.” I nodded in agreement as he handed me a hot cup of coffee.  He asked if I wanted cream or sugar, I nodded no. He took his cup, opened the lid and took a sip.

He cleared his throat and then began to speak….”Ms. Nevarez, you do know you’re not under arrest here.  So, if you could please tell me exactly what happened last night.”

As I looked down at the hot cup of liquid I was holding with both my hands, I thought about how I was going to explain the blood that covered them, the copper smell of human blood that stained my hands, forearms and clothes.  I looked up and I could see the medical examiner’s office personnel put what use to be a human being into a black body bag and then onto a stretcher.  “What do you want me to say Detective Logan?” I asked softly as I kept looking forward, the steam from the coffee warming my hands and face.

He sighed, put one hand on the steering wheel and said “Tell me about him…………and why you thought he had to die?”

©The Huntress

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My Cat’s Attitude….and Other Happenings Around My World.

Charlie: Hmm, hmm, hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmm……

Me: Why are you humming that tune….again?

Charlie: Meow know this, Beastie Boys, Sure Shot….it helps my concentration with catching the feathered flying creatures that want to kill me.

Me: They don’t want to kill you….okay only Ralph’s family wants to kill you but they can’t.  Because your too big for them to kill.

Charlie: *sings out loud* “Meow you can’t, you won’t, and you don’t stop.  Meow you can’t, you won’t, and you don’t stop, well meow you can’t, you won’t and you don’t stop…..Charlie Bruiser…coming to rock the sure shot

Me: Alright already with that song, it’s burned into my head.

Charlie: Meow hush human, your ruining my mood.  I have to get ready to go out and declare war on all of the feathered flying creatures.

Me: All of the birds Charlie? But why?

Charlie holds up his front leg and gives me the paw, all the while he’s texting.  Seriously I know cats have attitude and he’s not even my cat!

Stupid things people say

Last year in August, El Paso suffered a mass shooting, and it was devastating to our community.  Although El Paso isn’t considered a big city, it still hit home for many of us.  So this year in August the university, on the one year anniversary of this tragedy, we had a small ceremony at the university where I work to commemorate.  We were all asked to wear our El Paso Strong shirts that day, and to leave our offices and join everyone (in social distancing mode of course) on the lawn for three minutes of silence.  As we were all walking out in our masks, Fake April said something that completely infuriated me…..

The Provost: Is everyone ready?

My Coworker: We’re waiting on two people.

The President: Okay is everyone here?

Fake April: *begrudgingly gets up to go* Oh man, I didn’t wear my El Paso Strong shirt….what’s the point of going down?

Me: *angry as fuck*…..the point is to remember those that died in the shooting you empty headed waste of space!!!

My boss: *grabs me by the arm, walks me back down the hall* Okay I think we need to calm down here….

Me: I’m sorry but seriously, that airhead NEVER thinks before she speaks!  This, today isn’t about a goddamned t-shirt!!

My boss: I know it makes you angry, and we all know she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, that is obvious by how she acts every single day.

Supervisor: Hey, I’ve talked to Fake April, she’s not going down with us.  Are you okay? I’ve told her to stay up here and answer the phones.

Me: Yes, I just hate stupidity, ignorance and sheer insensitivity of that magnitude….

As I walked past Fake April’s reception desk, she didn’t look at me, she just look at her computer screen.  I guess the truth hurt, when I called her an empty headed waste of space.  The small ceremony went off without a hitch, it was sad and many of us cried over remembering what happened one year ago that day.

More stupid things people say….

Over the weekend, I was watching a documentary on the great cathedrals of the world, and although the Sistine Chapel isn’t a cathedral, I did remember something about my ex-husband.  The mofo would call it the “Sixteenth” chapel.  Yes that drove me crazy, it was like grammatical nails on a chalkboard.  He also use to say that our Pontiac Grand Prix was a “Grand Pricks.”  Yeah, the only grand prick was him….

I haven’t heard from my friend Veronica, I wonder if that’s a good thing?  But that’s because I was always the one that sent her good morning messages.  Sometimes she’d answer, but most of the time she wouldn’t.  That is, until she needed something from me, so I stopped texting her.  It’s been two weeks.  This is my short and sweet post.

P.s….have I mentioned how much I hate this block editor in WP? No? Okay so now you know.

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This the Huntress, over and out!

Featured

Is It Me, Seriously What the Fuck?

My adventures with my new job, apparently are just beginning.  But that’s okay, I have a great boss as well as great mentor that works under my boss and is a kick ass woman who is willing to help me learn everything I need to in order to do my job.   But, that’s another story entirely.  So some of you are asking yourselves, “What’s up with the Blog Title?” First let me say….I FUCKING HATE THIS BLOCK EDITOR THAT WORDPRESS DECIDED TO SHOVE IN OUR FACES!!!!!!

Yes, there is a reason behind this title, but only because I got to thinking about the kind of people I attract as friends that made me wonder if it’s me, or them. 

Back in July of last year I wrote a post about a dear friend of mine, who I’ve found isn’t the brightest bulb in the pack.  But since then I’ve come to notice that, it’s just not the fact that she’s fucking needy as hell, but she’s goddamned lazy too….ugh! Below is the post I wrote about her being gaslit, gaslighted or however you say it, in July of 2019. You can read it here https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/thehuntress915.wordpress.com/958

This “friend” has been trying to land a job with the university I work for, it’s my fault really.  I told her that there are so many jobs being posted she’s qualified for that she needed to apply.  That’s when it happened, she began to ask me why she hasn’t been called for any interviews, why it’s taking so long to get her application noticed…blah, blah, blah.  When I tell her that the pandemic has affected the way that HR works, she came back with “Well you got hired during the pandemic” and I said to her, yes I fucking did but not all departments work that way.  What I’m taking away from all of this is, she’s literally expecting me to set her up with a job.  I have a job with a Vice President but I don’t have that kind of power.

That’s when I began to wonder, do I REALLY want to be on the same campus as her? If she got hired, she’d know NOTHING about the internal processes of this university.  Although we both worked at another state university together, this is a medical institution and there is nothing similar about them.  I can imagine it now, being hounded by her daily, “Oh friend, can you teach me how to do this?” “Friend, can you show me how to access that?”  “Friend, who do I talk to about this?” I’m seriously hoping she doesn’t get hired here, I can’t take that in my private life, let alone in my professional life.   I hate neediness in people in general, it’s annoying and the clinginess of someone who’s needy is off putting.  But neediness in a coworker is even worse, I fucking loath that kind of personality. 

But what’s worse is that my “friend” is very passive/aggressive and I will not put up with that shit, because I’m aggressive/aggressive and when you’ve pushed my buttons past being patient, I will let loose all the fires in hell on you!  So this is what last week was like….

Me: Hey Veronica I sent you some job postings for you to apply for, you need to do it soon because a couple of these will close on Friday.

Veronica: *crickets*

Two days later I sent her a text to tell her to check her emails because I sent her a couple more postings.

Veronica: Why didn’t you tell me that you sent me an email with jobs I need to apply for?

Me: Do I have to fucking tell you to check your emails daily?!?!  Seriously?!?!?!

Veronica: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bother you…

Me: Stop it with that shit I’m tired of it! No one had to tell me to look for jobs, I went out to find them. That’s how I got into the university in the first place! I didn’t have anyone to hold my hand the entire time!!

Veronica: I didn’t mean to bother you or make you mad.  I’ll let you go.

Me: *stops texting her*

So what else bothers me about my friend is that when I text her or call her I don’t get a response.  Not right away or when I call she sends me to voicemail, then I get a text asking if I needed anything.  I text her that I need her to answer the phone, and of course she doesn’t call me back.  So, is it me? Or am I right on about feeling that this person is yet another so-called friend I don’t need in my life?

Then I get a text last Monday that said: “Happy Monday! Is my friend still out there? Or is she disappeared?”

I was FURIOUS, because I text her all the time and I never get any responses from her.  Then this happened, I text her back and told her that I was still here and it would be nice if she fucking acknowledged the emails I sent her with the job postings.  Then this..

Veronica: The only messages I have from you are on 8/25, I don’t have anything after that.

Me: I’m talking about in general, the least you can do is email me back with a thank you or something.  To know you at least saw the email.

Veronica: I’m sorry I don’t mean to bother you

Me:*not wanting to hurt her feelings* Just apply for the positions…

Veronica: Friend, can you send me a copy of your resume, PLEASE!  So I can see if mine is up to par?

Me: Are you fucking serious? So what have you been uploading to the job site portal?!

Veronica: Well mine, but I want to see yours so I can see how yours is formatted.

Me: WORD has tons of resume templates, just use the one you’ve been using.

Veronica:*nothing*

I’m sure she got her feelings hurt or got mad because I didn’t send her my resume.  I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s wanting to use some of my experience for her resume.  Now I’m not sure about this, but my gut instinct is seldom wrong.

Then two days later, stupidly I send her another two job postings via email…

Veronica: Hey friend, I just noticed that the required documents on the job portal call for a cover letter.

Me: Yes they do, it’s in the instructional part of the portal, and I thought you were doing that?

Veronica: Can you send me your cover letter template, PLEASE!

Me: Well no wonder you haven’t been getting called for interviews! You’re not even following direction as to how to apply for the fucking jobs!!!

Veronica: Well, I didn’t realize that I…

Me: I’m not sending you anything of mine, fucking go online and look for yourself.  WORD has tons of templates for you to use.  I didn’t have anyone to show me, to hold my hand, to tell me to read all the instructions on the job site portal!! I can’t believe this shit!

Veronica: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bother you…

Me: STOP saying that!! Because you say it and then you fucking bother me with shit like asking me to send you my resume and cover letter template!  How in the fuck did you get so far in life by yourself?!!?  Or have you really?

Veronica: *nothing*

Now, I know how I come off sounding, but as I previously mentioned, I didn’t have nor need anyone to show me, hold my hand, or guide me in applying for this job or any other.  I read the instruction, I make sure that I submit what I need to in order to make sure I comply with everything they asked me.  I didn’t ask anyone for their resume or cover letter template, I found that shit on my own.  So as a friend, I’ve helped her out as much as I can, other than applying for her, I am not sure what else I can do?  The neediness that emanates from her is not only off putting but it’s annoying as fuck and I’m seriously tired of it. 

Her birthday is in December, and this past year I bought her a beautiful pair of Blue Topaz drop earrings, something like the picture below.

And not once has she worn them, and when I’ve asked her why, her response is that she doesn’t want to lose them and that there isn’t anywhere special for her to wear them to.  She showed me a pendant her father had given her a couple of Christmas’ ago, which matched the earrings I gave her perfectly, and she’s never worn that since her dad gave it to her either.  Claiming the same fucking excuse.  I’m seriously tired of having to constantly be the one to send her a text, inquire how she’s doing, ask if she’d like to get together (before this COVID shit hit) etc.  I’m also tired of her not answering my phone calls and responding via a text when I do.  If I wanted to text you I’d send you a text and NOT FUCKING CALL!!!

So, I’m seriously thinking of cutting cord yet again with this friend whom I’ve known since 2012, because I don’t have the energy to put into a friendship that seems to be a one way street.  There I said it, and although I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, I know that I’m resourceful enough to not impose or ask other friends to help me in situations that one can obviously do myself, like writing my resume or cover letter.  So, is it me?

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This the Huntress, over and out!

Featured

I Loath Mockingbirds and I live with Mockingbird Killer Charlie.

I know my posts have been few and far between, especially now with my new job, and boss.  I’m busy as hell and my day goes by so fast sometimes when I realize it, it’s time to go home.  And then I get home and I run and do yoga to stay in shape, so that I don’t get too stressed out from my new job.  It’s a vicious cycle….speaking of vicious, on with the show…..

I’ve lived in this rental house for about 12 years now, and only recently (since our cat Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan) adopted us to be his humans (okay technically he’s my son’s cat, correction my son is Charlie’s human, glad I straightened that out right?) have I had any issues with those asshole mockingbirds that decided to make the palm tree in our back yard their home.

Anyway, earlier this year when all this COVID hit, and I was forced to work from home did I notice that there was a bird that was bullying my cat, and he’d just lie there on the grass not really paying attention to this feathered menace. But then it seemed that the attacks got worse, to the point that Charlie couldn’t spend some of his quality sun bathing lounging time in peace, before he’d be all upset and at the backdoor wanting to come back in.

I did somewhat of a stakeout one morning, I sat outside as Charlie went about his morning routing, lying on his back in his favorite dirt spot and just taking in the morning vibes. Then I saw it, that skinny legged, bitchy feathered bullying motherfucker just dive bomb my calm feline. He seemed to just touch him but then Charlie ran under the patio chair I was sitting on and that asshole bird began hopping towards him, completely oblivious to my presence.

Pissed Off Charlie
This is Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan.  Yes he’s mad because I didn’t get home in time to feed his fat floofbutt

I had a broom in my hand as I had just finished sweeping under the porch when I sat down to admire Charlie and his morning ritual. I didn’t move, but Charlie seemed to be off kilter and as soon as the prick of a Mockingbird came close enough, I swung the broom and all I saw were feathers fly and then…….no bird. I looked hard but couldn’t find it, Charlie looked up at me…..took out his cell phone (yes he has a cell phone, y’all know this) and with his fat cat beans (paws) he began to type.

I looked at him, and then I said

Me: Charlie, are okay ya big chicken shit?

Charlie: Meowscuse me? Chicken shit, who are you talking to the neighbor’s dog Rocco?

Me: No I’m talking to you, and who are you texting while I’m talking to you?

Charlie: I’m texting Suri (our neighbor Laura’s cat), she bet me $5 worth of quality nip that my owner couldn’t hit Ralph.

Texting Charlie
Charlie taking a selfie for his Cats Online profile…

Me: Ummm…who’s Ralph and why are you betting nip…….you know what I don’t want to know.

Charlie: Ralph, that feathered creature that wants to kill me.

Me: that asshole mockingbird has a name?

Charlie: meowduh? Of course he does.

Me: how do you know this?

Charlie: Grady the other tabby told me.

Me: Grady? The other gray tabby that kicks your ass every other night?

Charlie: Meow-what?!?! Human! How dare you assume I get my ass kicked! Meow needs to respect meow-presence.

Grady and Charlie
I dare you to try and tell Charlie and Grady apart…

Me: yeah, yeah tell me that when you bring me the dead feathered body of the mockingbird menace.

Charlie: Meow will bet me $5 or quality nip, if I bring you the body of the feathered menace?

Me: Yeah, or whatever, why are you still texting?!

Charlie: Telling Suri about my human and her insolent behavior.

Me: How many times do I have to tell you I’m not your human?

Charlie: Meow-acts like my human, therefore you are my human.

Me: *eye roll*

Charlie: meow-saw that human

Me: So?

Charlie: meow-challenged me, meow shall deliver……

I stood there watching Charlie furiously texting on his brand new smart phone, with wireless cat-ear buds no less. A phone he says he bought with his profit from selling this special nip he imports from Puerto Rico. Which made me wonder why the UPS guy drops stuff off and then asks for my cat….by name no less.

As he continued texting, he said…

Charlie: Meow-can go, I do not need your assistance here anymore human……*still texting*

Me: whatever…

Sexy Charlie
This is Charlie….giving me attitude

The next day we repeated our routine to see if Ralph the asshole Mockingbird would show up.  And sure enough, the prick did.  Charlie sun bathing in his dirt spot, me sitting with the broom on the patio chair and then, Ralph chirped out loud and dived bombed Charlie again.

Charlie: meoooowwwww!!!!

Me: Charile!! Are you okay?

Charlie: Meow-does it look like meow-am okay?

I looked at him from nose to tail, and I didn’t see anything. I looked for Ralph all over the back yard, broom in hand. I walked towards the front yard, then as I walked back through the backyard gate I heard Charlie having a conversation with Rocco and Jerry the two German Shepard dogs from our back neighbor.

Charlie: Meow-owwwww…..

Rocco: Geez Chuck, did he really get you?

Jerry: Don’t call him Chuck, he doesn’t like that….

Charlie: Meow, savage canines, meow is hurt, and all you can do is stare at meow?

Rocco: Hey Chuck, Ralph told me he’s got a contract out on you, you’d better be careful.

Charlie: meow-contract!? How meow-much?

Jerry:…..licking himself not paying attention…

Rocco: He said 10 pounds of birdseed to the feathered, 6 pounds of nip to the other felines and 15 Milkbones to the canines.

Charlie: Meow-kay, that’s fuckers going down!!!

Hunter Charlie
Charlie, lying in wait for asshole Ralph

Rocco: Hey Chuck, your owners coming for you.

Charlie: Meow-if you call me Chuck one more time…..

Me: Charlie! Are you okay?

Charlie: Meow-ooowwwww….

Jerry to Rocco: Yeah that cat is milking that injury for all it’s worth….

As I picked Charlie up and carried him into the house, he lay down on the kitchen tile, because he cools down there. I freshened his water with some cool water with ice and as I bent down I saw a tiny puncture wound on Charlie’s fluffy belly.

Resting Charlie
Charlie, about two hours after his injury

Me: Oh my god Charlie, does it hurt?

Charlie: Meow-no, only my ego is bruised, meow is plotting revenge on Ralph. The backyard, uncultured savages told me he has a contract out on me……*takes out his cell phone again*

Me: Who told you this? Rocco and Jerry?

Charlie: Meow-hush human, I’m trying to think..

Me: While your texting?! Ugh…

Charlie: Meow, yes, if I had fingers I’d hush you meow-human style…

Me: whatever

Charlie: *gets up and walked to the door, stares out towards the back yard*

Me: *silent*

Charlie: Meow-stop staring at me human…meow feels your eyes on me….

Me: *walks away*

The next day I didn’t go outside with Charlie, I figured if the mofo had a brand new smart phone he’d be able to handle himself against Ralph the Asshole Mockingbird. As I sat at my computer I heard the loud chirping, some sort of ruckus in the back, but I ignored it.

Then silence, nothing, no chirping, no Rocco and Jerry barking, nothing. It was dead silent, then after about 15 minutes….

Charlie: *muffled voice* Meow-hooman…opn da door…..

Me: Oh Charlie…now what?

Charlie:*muffled voice* meow-opn da doo…opn, meow-mhave smfing for meow-you…..

And that’s when I saw it……

Zombie Charlie

Charlie was at my back door with Ralph that feathered menace Mockingbird in his mouth!

Me: I’m not opening the door with that thing in your mouth Charlie!

Charlie: *drops dead Ralph* Meow told me if I brought you the dead feathered body of Ralph meow-would give me $5 worth of quality meow-nip! Meow-pay up human.

Me: I never agreed to that Charlie!

As I went to go get him his nip mouse with some fresh nip, he sat at the door glaring at me. We argued for the next 45 minutes about him bringing Dead Ralph into the house. He argued his side and I argued mine, but since it’s my house I won. He did pout for about two days, he’s a cat after all and those damned felines can pout better than any kindergartner I’ve ever known, that’s for sure.

So what did Charlie do when he lost? He went back outside, picked up Dead Ralph and went into the grass and played with Dead Ralph for about half an hour. I went back to work and then when 5pm rolled around I locked my computer (because I’ve found paw prints on the keyboard) and quit for the day.   As I walked past the back door,  there Charlie was…….chomping on Dead Ralph….or what remained of Dead Ralph….I closed the inside door.

Charlie:*mouth full of food muffle* meow-didn’t let muh eat inside, meow needs Tabasco…..and some of that white wine in the fridge.

Featured

War Is Hell and Hell is Where I Dwell Best….

Bring on the suntan lotion, lounge chair and the non-stop pitchers of margaritas people, because I’m ready!!!!  I know its been a while since I posted anything new, but work has me uber busy and I’ve finally caught up.  I mean, as much as I can because my boss is non-stop, and that’s a good thing.  She’s a great mentor and is teaching me the ropes….can anyone say Vice-President Huntress?  Okay I’m getting a head of myself but, she’s hinted somewhat at the fact that I can do a VP job.  Which is incredible since I came from a micromanaging environment prior to this job.   Anyway, on with the show!

I’ve been here two months, and my VP and the Chief of Staff have been awesome when it’s come to helping me acclimate to my new position.  They’ve been nothing but supportive and they’ve helped me when I found myself stuck.  I love my new job, and not only am I beginning to thrive, I just found out that my VP has been assigned another title, VP of Finance Administration.  So, this is a blow to Impostor Huntress’ boss because she is….kind of……having that title taken away from her.  And Impostor Huntress let me know that her boss isn’t too happy with my boss taking that title and job duties away from her.

Scarlette meme

Now Impostor Huntress has calmed down as far as giving me attitude, especially since I pushed back (in a not so nice way) and everything between the two of us is okay.  Then this happened, and she’s worried that her boss is going to wage all-out war on my boss.  Both are Vice President’s, both work at the leisure of the President.  But only my boss actually does a good job.  Yes okay I might be a bit bias here, but if Impostor Huntress’ boss was doing such a wonderful job, she wouldn’t have lost that title, right?

Anyway, I’m adjusting to the hectic schedule of having to support two people.  It’s nonstop but it makes my day go by fast.  But not fast enough to avoid the tepid wrath of Fake April, yes she’s back and things between us got heated last week.  I say tepid because she’s all talk, and empty behind that plaster like face she has.  She lost her cool when I (rightfully so) left early after my boss told me I could.  She emailed her supervisor, who isn’t my supervisor about my leaving early.  I was fucking livid after I found out this little conniving bitch is clockwatching me!!! I told her supervisor that it’s none of Fake April’s damned business what I do, and if my VP is okay with it, she can go to hell.  Her supervisor said for me to calm down and that she didn’t take what Fake April said seriously.  Again, that little snake needs to stay away from me or I swear she’ll catch fiery hell from the real Huntress.

you-poor-thing-i-can-destroy-you-in-seconds-3679231

She’s a snarky little whiner and I love putting her in her place.  Especially since I found out she’s still bitching about not being able to apply for my job.  AND proving me right when I said she’s not qualified to do my job.  She’s made so many mistakes that it makes me wonder what the fuck she’s still doing here.  Her spelling and grammar is horrendous, she’s rude and condescending not just to me or Impostor Huntress, but to my boss and visitors as well.  And I defend my boss, telling Fake April that if anyone can fire her it’s my boss.  She ran to go tell her supervisor, that when “Supervisor” told me to stop telling her things like that.  I told Supervisor that it’s true, and that she needs to brush up on her Operating Policies.

Test meme

UPDATE…..My second boss, the Chief of Staff told us today that she’s taken a job with one of the local school districts as their chief auditor.  I was to say the least, relieved….and yes I know that sounds mean but supporting two people who are extremely busy is hard to do.  My VP told me they won’t be filling her position, which is great.  I have so much work right now, I leave my office late, and late for me is about 6:30 or 7pm.  When I use to get out at 4:30 in my other, micromanaging department.  But I do my job, and thus far my VP is happy with me, or at least that’s what she’s told me.

Then there is “Supervisor” who happens to be the assistant to the university’s president, and I didn’t ask many questions when I started but now I wonder exactly what does she really do?  She’s been working from home since I started, only occasionally coming into the office.  Other VP’s come in, ask for her and when someone tells them she’s not here, they all have the same reaction.  They roll their eyes, shrug their shoulders and sigh, one of the VP’s actually got frustrated enough to say out loud “Does she even work?!”  Good question, because for someone who makes six figures you’d think she’d be here all the time, helping “assist” the President and such.

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This the Huntress, over and out!

 

Featured

My Mothers Love……Arsenic, Grain Alcohol and a Straight Razor

It’s no secret that I grew up with a narcissistic mother, and only recently found she might have (no she has) borderline personality disorder.  I think everyone in our family knows but what I think they don’t know is that other than narcissism, she’s also self-absorbed, self-centered and I’m pretty sure she has Munchhausen’s syndrome.  Which is considered a mental illness in where a person repeatedly or deliberately acts if they are sick or has a condition that they really don’t have.  My mother, that evil spawn from hell (I shouldn’t say that my biological grandmother was the kindest person on earth, so I’m at a loss as to why my fucking mother acts the way she does) called to tell me last Tuesday that she’s having yet another surgery.

I’ve counted, since I began keeping count, she’s had over 16 surgeries, and I’m convinced that she didn’t need most of them.  Why, you ask?  Because she’s spent her entire life wanting, craving, demanding attention from anyone who would give it to her.  She is hell bound to be the center of the universe no matter who you are or what position you have in her life.  So she figured out that if she tells everyone she’s sick, she’ll get that attention.  I’m so sick (no pun intended) of it, that I’m ready to disown her, if not for my poor dad.  But my dad is an enabler, so maybe his penance is living with this nightmare of a woman.

I have spent the entirety of my adult life trying so hard NOT to be like her.  I told myself that my kids were going to be told that they are loved, every single day until I die.  That I was going to be as affectionate as possible with them, even if it embarrassed them, at least they’d know what a loving mother was like.  Something my brother and I NEVER got from my parents.  We were never acknowledged when we did something right, or accomplished something good or special in school.  The only attention we did get, was when we did something wrong, and boy that seemed like it was more often than none.  My parent’s never showed us any sort of affection, they never told my brother and I that they loved us, that they were proud of us or that they wished us well in any capacity.  We were not raised that way, so she mentions that my boys are always hugging and kissing me, telling me they love me.  I told her “That’s right, and you know why? Because YOU DIDN’T raise them, I did.”  My parent’s lived by the school of “spare the rod, spoil the child” kind of thinking.  And let me tell you, the rod was something my brother and I were all too familiar with in our childhood.  Or should I say the belt, wooden spoon, plastic or wire hanger, or shoe…….whatever was in her grasp at that particular time.  And my mom seemed to love to punish us, or embarrass us or make us look stupid in front of her, now long gone, friends.

In one instance, I remember being eight years old and going shopping for my First Communion dress.  This was a special occasion in the Catholic faith, and all I though was, I’m going to look like a bride, little did I know this was the only time I was going to look like a bride, we all know how that turned out.  But I digress, on this particular shopping trip, we went to a store that specialized in special occasion dresses.  Just myself, my momster and brother, and I tried on what seemed like dozens of white, frilly, embroidered, lacy dresses.  Then I found one I was happy with, then came time to decide on a veil.  I was more excited about the veil than the dress,  because what little girl doesn’t want to be a bride, in a white flowing dress and a beautiful veil on her head?

We went through a few veils, some which were very plain that were just a white hair comb with the veil attached. But the one that I wanted was a beautiful white veil with lace at the edge and it had a….CROWN of pearls!!!  I thought to myself I’ve hit the jack pot, that was of course until I told my momster that was the one I wanted.  Mind you, it wasn’t a huge crown of pearls, it was a tiny crown, made of synthetic pearls.  But it was beautiful, and because I wanted it, my momster said no.  She said I was going to get the cheapest thing she could afford, and I was devastated because she said this in front of the saleslady.  She gave the lady money, and took the dress and veil with the comb.  She also told the lady that I didn’t deserve to have the veil I wanted because I misbehaved all the time.  I knew this was a lie, my momster lied a lot, she still does and that is part of why I don’t believe her when she says she’s sick.

First Communion Crown and Veil
It looked like this but without the top tier, it was beautiful

She’d lie to my dad about how my brother and I misbehaved, she lied to our doctors about how we weren’t sick, she lied to my aunts about how awful we were to her.  And for the most part, everyone believed her.  That is, until we became adults, then shit started to hit the fan and her web of lies and deceptions began to fall apart.  Back to her having her 17th surgery, so she called me last week to TELL me, not ask me (God forbid) that she needed me to take her to her surgery on July 31st and that she had to be there by 6am.  I told her I had to make sure because my boss was presenting the next fiscal year’s budgets for the clinics and she wanted me to be there that week.

That’s when I told her that I had gotten another job within the university, and the first thing out of her mouth?  “How come you didn’t tell me and how much more are you making?”  I told her I didn’t tell her because I knew she’d ask about how much more I was getting.  Because then all she’d say is “Oh, no now you can afford a BIG house so you can take care of me and your father” and you know that shit isn’t going to happen.

I didn’t divulge how much more I got, and told her why.  Then she said “Its your responsibility as our daughter to take care of us in our old age.”  That’s when the Huntress lost it, and I replied “If the sole purpose of you having kids was for us to take care of you in your old age, you would have been better off without having us!” Honestly I’m so tired of her antiquated thoughts about how her children HAVE to take care of their parents in their old age, I think this is more heavily emphasized in the Latin cultures than others.  That’s when I also mentioned that I didn’t believe she “needed” to have this other surgery.  Well that was the sledgehammer that broke the demons back, and she went into a tirade about how I was ungrateful, the worst daughter in the world, how I never listen to her, how she took care of my kids when I was with Lestat.  THAT’s when I threw her shit back at her, saying that I never abandoned my boys for her to take care of.  I’d always worked to support them even when I was living with her and her stupid “This is my house and you live by my rules when you live here” bullshit, even though I was 33 years old.   When I’d give her money from my student loans to pay for the goddamned property taxes.  Of course she says I didn’t, but she’s full of shit because I know how I helped out while living there.  I told her not to martyr herself thinking and saying she did what she really didn’t do.  Then she stopped and asked “What’s a martyr?” and then I hung up on her.

As if this wasn’t enough, she began to text me, and I loathe getting texts from her because she doesn’t know how to spell correctly and uses words out of context.  But her text was just as nasty and vile as her voice, saying again how ungrateful I was even after she “HAD” to take care of me when I got pregnant at 15, how I almost killed her while in labor with me, how she spent so much money on me as a little girl, how all her friends kids all love, adore and take care of them.

By this time I was tired, and simply text her back saying to find someone else to take her to her surgery, and that it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t believe she was sick because, all my life all she’s ever done is cry wolf about her illnesses.  Then we all find out she’s not really sick.  That my brother, I and undoubtedly my dad was tired of her shit, and that she wasn’t the center of the universe.  If her friend’s kids took care of their parents it’s because their mother’s weren’t like ours, demanding, demeaning and just a plain fucking bitch.  Yes, I called my mother a bitch, because no one knows but me what she’s put me through in my lifetime, and she will only tell others her side of the story.  Like she does with my aunts but even they stay away from her now because they see what a lunatic she really is.

I told her I was going to block her from my phone because I don’t need her to aggravate me when she doesn’t get her way.  My mother has never asked, she only demands, she never wishes or hopes only wants.  She’s never been affectionate and now she wants to be hugged and kissed, she wants to be adored because she thinks she “deserves” it, but mostly because her friend’s kids are that way.  I blocked her for my own sanity,  and if that is to disown her and her evil, narcissistic, self-serving ways, I’m okay with that.  My therapist Terri once said to me that when we don’t reconcile with our parent’s it leave us with remorse when they die.  And that ultimately we will wish we had said or done something to set the record straight.  I told her, that some of us only wonder whether or not it will be seen as a relief when that parent dies, and feel guilty over not feeling the remorse.  She nodded her head, wrote notes down in my file and said “Valid Point Huntress, I never thought about it like that.”  There is such a thing as narcissistic mother PTSD, and I’m bound and determined to break the cycle.

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I do so for my boys, because I love them more than anything in this life

Thankfully my boys see their grandmother exactly for who she is, they’ve also been at the end of her forked-tongue tirades as well.  I don’t have to explain their grandmother to them, they just say “we understand mom.”  And for that I’m grateful and thankful that my boys are my family that I depend on and love wholeheartedly.

This the Huntress, over and out, remember to stay safe and WEAR YOUR MASK!!

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The Higher the Mountain the Uglier the Trolls, Bitches and Wannabe Bosses…..

It’s been going on seven weeks since I began my new gig, and thus far I’m in heaven.  With the occasional run in with Buzz McCallister and the Impostor Huntress.  But the Impostor has actually been calm, for now.  In any case, I don’t know if I mentioned but I support two people, one is my very lovely boss the VP.  And the other is the Chief of Staff, who reports directly to the President.  I’ve had a hard time trying to figure her out, she’s very stone faced and reserved.  She hardly cracks a smile and when she does, it’s an actual surprise.  So because she is the Chief of Staff supports the President as well, her job is just as important as the VP I work with.  So with that being said, she has to deal with a lot of human resource issues.  Even though the Impostor Huntress support the VP for HR.

In doing so, she or should I say “we” deal with a horrible little troll who works in HR, and since I have to work with him now.  This motherfucker is in charge of employee training and development.  That’s all he does, since HR is primarily working from home, there is no one in the office.  And he, I’m assuming has no one to train, but that’s just an assumption.  So he was recruited to help the Chief of Staff with a project, and this project was the inception of the university’s President.  It is going to take plenty of man hours, or in this case woman hours and one troll and whatever he thinks he can do.  This mofo is a manager, and constantly complains about having to help us out.   And I do mean constantly, this asshole is what I consider the king of whiners.  Every time an email is sent out with instructions or requests for this project, he emails me (privately) and complains.  I’m about at the end of my ever fraying rope with this asshole.  If anyone’s seen the movie Legend with Tom Cruise, there is a troll/monster that is just hideous.  It’s name is Blix, I say “it” because this HR manager acts like this slimy, sleazy, double dealing mofo.

He’s short, hunchbacked, and talks with a nasally whine.  He has a real name of course, but for this blogs purposes we’ll call him Blix.

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Blix from Human Resources

In any case this “manager” is in charge of employee development training’s, and right now since he’s working from home, does he have actual training’s to conduct?  He’s not a technical wiz so I know he’s not conducting online training or doing over the phone development training’s either.  He was recruited to help with the data collection for this project, and every time he calls or emails me, it’s the same thing, whining about having to help us out.  Finally I told him “You work at the pleasure of the President, therefore you will help us out because he asked your director to pick someone to help, and I don’t want to hear you complain about this anymore.”  I haven’t heard from him since, I think he thought I’d sympathize with his “plight” of having to do some intensive data collection.  But hey, I do to and no, it’s not an easy job, but I have to do it nonetheless.

Then there is our front desk receptionist, she reminds me of April, the creepy intern from the sitcom Parks and Recreations.  It’s probably because she has an uncanny resemblance to her, and just as cynical, rude and annoying.

Parks and Rec April Meme

She actually thinks she’s smarter than everyone else, of course she’s not because if she were they would have let apply for my position.  Something she’s told me over and over and over to the point I want to stab her in the neck with a pencil and watch her skinny ass bleed out onto the reception area carpet, until it soaks through and her lifeless body lies there pale and DEAD!  She’s made it a point to tell others how she was “cheated” out of my job because she believes she is talented enough to do what I do.

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Yes she does, so why is she a receptionist? Because she couldn’t get a job as a stripper because of her unsightly bony ass….

Being the support for a VP and the Chief of Staff is not an easy job, it demands a lot of time, attention to detail and patience (I know that my patience runs short, but I have to try either way) something she lacks.  She’s so stupid that she talks to one of the other associates from a different division of our university about me.  I’ve heard her, and when Impostor Huntress first told me to watch out for this sneaky, backstabbing, bony assed bitch, I thought for sure she was just being over-dramatic and narcissistic.  But, I hate to say this, Impostor Huntress was right about this Fake April, she really does believes she’s smarter than everyone else, including my two bosses, which of course she is not.  I thought about this quote below by Raymond Chandler, one of my favorite mystery writers, and thought I’d include it to describe Fake April.

You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.”
― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye

If she were she’d know not to talk about me to where I will find out about it.  AND I’ve caught her eavesdropping in on my conversations with my VP.  I just about lost it, when I walked out and saw her standing right outside my VP’s office door.  I let her know that just because I’m new, doesn’t mean I won’t put her in her place if she keeps doing stupid shit like that.  She’s friends with another idiot that I deal with in another department whom also thought he should have my job.  The thing is, these types of people want to be a boss, without all the hard work and sacrifice it takes to move up in your career.  They have this “they are smarter than everyone else, so therefore they deserve to be a boss” kind of bullshit mentality.

I let my boss know how Fake April is acting and she said “Yeah, Fake April doesn’t have what it takes to be an associate administrator, I think she couldn’t handle any kind of fiscal responsibility like the clinic budgets, the physician call pay and other money issues (which is something I have to do) what is she thinking? I would have fired her before her probation was over.  Not that she’d make it past the application phase.”  my boss actually said to me, she also added that she’s not too fond of Fake April either.

On a positive note, my son (we) finally finished his math class, and I can’t tell you how absolutely over the moon I am at NOT having to go home and do or think about MATH! I just hope to God he gets a passing grade because I can’t go through this another 7 weeks…ugh kill me now.

*I edited my post because one of my readers pointed out a lot of my grammatical mistakes and run on sentences.  Or how I repeated somethings…..are you happy now Dave? Not his real name but, Dave it is…..

Dave doesn’t actually have a blog, he just reads mine for, the chuckles as he put it.

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This is one angry and worried Huntress, over and out!

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Math is my Enemy and I hate it Now More Than Ever!!!

I was going to post something relating to this damned virus, but I thought to myself no one wants to hear about this thing any more than I do.  It doesn’t matter that the numbers keep skyrocketing and that some people don’t take this seriously.  I mean, after my son came down with it and all, and that he’s now recovered because he has no underlying conditions and healthy, he was able to do so.  And that they did contact tracing to find out how my son and another of his coworkers got sick and come to find out it was someone in the department of Athletics who didn’t wear a mask and showed up to work for a week KNOWING THE MOFO HAD COME IN CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WHO HAD IT!! But decided to come to work anyway!!!

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I’m not going to dwell on that and fight the urge to go find the dude who got my son sick and rip his fucking balls out through his nostrils….ahem……onto breaking news.

My oldest son began or should I say, is finishing up his degree in Information Technology.  It’s about fucking time, but I digress.  One of the classes he needs to take is a gawd-damned Calculus and Trigonometry class.  Because of the entire pandemic thing, all of his classes have become online classes.  Which is better for him because he works on the military base here and his schedule changes often, sometimes at an hours’ notice.  He’d been putting off this class because, well he hates math too and that’s because he thinks he’s not good at it.  So he actually looked at it and then told me “Mom, there’s no way I can pass this class” and said he would pay someone to take it for him.  Which was what I would have done, seriously I would have.  He approached his step-mom, who is an idiot because 1) she married my ex-husband (need I say more?) and 2) she’s not as smart as she thinks she is.

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His step-mom recruited some flunky resident from her department to tutor my son, but after a week, that prick skipped out on the tutoring.  After seeing my 34 year old son’s face and that look of desperation and potential defeat, I logged on and took a look at his math class.  Then I said to him “We can do this, you and me, we can get through this class but I’m not guaranteeing that you’ll pass with an A.  I’m only going to guarantee a C+ at best.”  He reluctantly said yes, I reminded him that he needs to not let this one class be the reason he doesn’t graduate and move onto his career in IT.

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He then asked me, “How are we going to do this mom?”  I responded, as I put a slice of Super Supreme Pizza with extra, extra jalapenos in my mouth, “We’re going to cheat” and proceeded to eat my dinner.   “Cheat, how?” he asked as he saw that I wasn’t as worried about this fucking, horrid, devils math class as he was, knowing that I’m bad at math and hate it just as much, if not more than he does.

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Shit, if math were only that easy….Impostor Huntress would be in that giant hole….

I told him that there are several online sites that if you pay for it, will not only give you the answer, but provide the steps on how to solve the problems.  He looked stunned, and then said “Really mom, you’re going to help me cheat at my math class?” I told him yes, because he could either try to learn five years of gawd-damned calculus, algebra and trigonometry in 7 weeks or we could go with my plan.  He didn’t say anything, so I’m assuming that he agreed with me, we are after all in the home stretch now.  We have two weeks of this fucking class left, and I say “we” because it’s been him and I, going over the sections of this class, him on his computer and me on mine.

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This is how I feel every time I begin to help my son

I haven’t run, or lifted weights or done anything but fucking, devil spawn math in over five weeks because I have to help my son get done with this class.  I hate math more than I did before, I’m serious its been a nightmare, not that we’re doing bad mind you.  But it’s taking up so much of my so-called “free time” that I’m even dreaming about numbers, fractions, augmented matrix’es, matrixi, or however you fucking pronounce it.  Word problems like, if a runner is running on a flat track, view the graph to determine whether the intercepts are if the runner is slowing down, speeding up or turning.  I’m like turning? WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK!?!?!

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It’s like the move Peggy Sue Got Married, after she’s in her algebra class and is about to take a test (after she’s been to the future) she gets up, takes her test to her teacher and tells him “I know for a fact I’m never going to use this, thank you.”  When in the fuck will we (or should I say my son) be using augmented matrix’s?

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Math is my life right now and so far he’s got a solid B-, and I told him that when he graduates, and if this entire pandemic has gotten to where he’ll actually have a graduation ceremony, I’m fucking walking across that stage with him, and I’m going to wear my Master’s cap, gown and hood (because I didn’t go to my graduation) holding his hand, embarrassing the shit out of him, and grabbing his diploma and walking off the stage fist pumping the whole time!  Then I told him, you’re going to take me out to dinner at Cattlemans for a damned 1 ½ lb t-bone steak.  Because not only did I give birth to him, which was painful enough, but having to go help get him through this damned class was probably more painful than all the hours of labor I went through.  Stay tuned for more adventure of….

THE HUNTRESS AND MATH I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH……

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This is one angry and worried Huntress, over and out!

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Power Hungry Egos and Impostor Huntress’ Lack of Work Ethic

First of all, I want to thank all my blogger buds out there who sent well wishes for my son who tested positive for COVID last week.  You have no idea how much it meant to me that you all reached out to me to let me know you were thinking about us.  So now on to our regularly scheduled program…..

As I’ve started to get a pretty good rhythm going with my new boss, and she, in turn is trusting me and my judgement in dealing with the departmental assholes that fall under her supervision.  Okay, just one asshole who is hell bent on trying to put me in my place……and y’all know that shit ain’t going to happen, right?  Anyway this asshole, whom I’ll call Buzz McCallister because the prick reminds me of the character who was Macally McCulkin’s big brother in the movie Home Alone.   The bullying asshole motherfucking prick that thinks he can get away with anything.  So he’s an administrator for one of the clinics and it was brought to my attention that he’s got a huge ego problem because, his dad is a doctor.  And I was like “So?” but then my boss told me he likes riding on his dad’s physician coattails.

Buzz Mcallister

I thought to myself, Cheesus Crust what a dick if he thinks he can act the way he does because his dad’s a doctor.  That’s like me trying to be all superior because of my mom’s narcissism, okay well something like that.  Anyway, I asked if his dad was a physician here at the university and my boss said no.  And I told her “Then why does he think he can act the way he does if his dad doesn’t even work here?”  She shrugged and laughed because she agreed with me because he’s difficult to work with.  In any case my boss is basically his boss and she emailed all the administrators that I am a direct extension of her when she’s not around (I’m sure that went down well with him, like a giant horse pill the motherfucker was trying to swallow.)  So he immediately emailed me and said he wanted ME to schedule something or other and I emailed him right back and told him he had people in his own department that could help him with whatever he needed.  I reminded him I was Patricia’s associate NOT his.  I didn’t hear back from him that day, but then the next day he emailed me AND my boss saying that the administrator’s meeting was just not the same via video medium as in person. And that he believed it was better if all of them (all 15 of them) met in person.  Because my boss was out that day, I responded to him and told him that my boss will have these meetings via video until further notice.  Being the narcissistic bastard Buzz McCallister is, he promptly responded with “I’m sure the other administrators will agree that meeting in person would benefit us greatly to discuss our needs and concerns.”  His fucking idiot email is below….

Email...

So I responded to him knowing that my boss was totally okay with whatever I was going to say to him because she had already told me, “Buzz is a little shit, so be careful with him.  He’ll try to get his way.”  And I was oh hells to the no he won’t, because unbeknownst to him, I dealt with him in my other job.  And I already knew he’s a dick…..my response to his email is below….

Response
Sorry about the small picture, I can’t get this to be any bigger than this….stupid Buzz McCallister…

After reading my response he called my boss to complain, and she said she told him that when she said I was an extension of her and her position, she meant it.  This was just another vote of confidence I’ve received since I began my new job.  Something I never got in my old department.  He was to say the least, not happy with me and do I care? NO, I fucking don’t!  But, this will be the catalyst I’m sure that will cause me a couple of more headaches because he’s a macho, asshole man-prick that thinks he deserves my respect and attention.  And this will only give me more blog fodder to post about him and I think we all know where this is headed.

Franco meme

So in addition to dealing with Buzz McCallister, the Impostor Huntress was at it again, only this time with the poor coordinator/admin assistant that is assigned here to the office.  This lady, whom I’ll call Janie, is a sweet older lady with a heart of gold.  She does most of the purchasing, deals with the front office traffic, answers the phone, helps with room reservations etc.  She help the associates out only when we have so much to do and not enough time to do it.   On Monday she came in and we talked for a bit and as I walked out of my office through the reception area, her phone rang and she said “Oh, okay I’ll be right there” and walked into the copy room, grabbed three reams of copy paper and walked off.  As I made my way back into the office she was walking back to her area and then her phone rang again.

I sat down at my desk and then I saw her rush past my office down the hall and out of sight.  I got up to go scan something and she came back and then she asked me if I wanted some coffee.  I said no, that I had already had my two cups and I thanked her.  She got up and took the coffee pot from the station and walked back towards the back.  I was curious as to where she was going as she passed the President’s office and that’s the only person I would think she’d cater to the way she was.

So when I turned the corner at the end of the hall, Janie was standing in Impostor Huntresses’ office, pouring her coffee as Impostor sat in her chair laughing about something or other.  I asked Janie, “What are you doing?” and Janie replied “Getting coffee for Impostor” and THAT pissed me off.  I then realized that this poor woman, who has a lung condition no less, was rushing back and forth to go and cater to Impostor Huntress the entire time!  I asked Janie to let me talk to Imposter alone.  She left and I closed the door to her office, sat down in one of the chairs as if to make her feel comfortable and then I asked her “So….why is it that you feel the need to ask Janie to play step and fetch for you?”

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She said “What?” and I said to her that having this poor woman go get reams of copy paper, make copies and fetch her coffee is NOT something we, as associates need to have her do.  She told me “Your new here, obviously you don’t know how to play the game.”  I told her that while I may be new,  I’m self-sufficient and that whatever game she thought I needed to play, wasn’t something I needed to make others feel inferior.  If she had to make herself feel more important by bossing this older lady around she had bigger problems than thinking she was “Management.”  She cleared her throat and said “That’s what they’re here for, to be utilized to help us with our work” and I said “What you’re doing in not utilizing her to help you, your abusing your authority because you’re a lazy fuck.”

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I’m not a queen, I just liked this meme

She looked at me and said “You’d better be careful, I have seniority” and I said “I don’t care if YOU have seniority, YOU’RE not my boss.  And YOU need to do shit for yourself, getting copy paper and coffee is something I would never have someone do for me.  But obviously you have power and ego issues, so YOU will never be management or administration.”  She looked at her coffee cup and said “You do your work and I’ll do mine as I see fit.”  I laughed and said to her “Be careful the way you treat others because karma is a bitch and so am I” and walked out of her office.  I told Janie she never had to do any of the shit she did for Impostor Huntress….EVER.  She just looked at me and laughed and nodded her head.  So now there’s this awkward tension between me and Impostor.

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She’ll never win this, I’m positive,  because I see weakness in her that can never overpower my confidence and sense of self-worth.  I don’t need to belittle or have others cater to me in order to make myself feel better about myself.  She uses the word power and control a lot.  I made it known at one of our meetings that power, just like control is an illusion and that anyone who believes it’s attainable, is delusional.  I’m sure she loved that.

What is it that song says???  You don’t pull on Wonder Woman’s crown, you don’t spit into the wind, and you don’t try to take the baseball bat from Harley Quinn.  Okay that’s not quite what the lyrics say but, y’all get the picture.

Let’s just say, that just because you’ve been doing a job for a certain amount of time doesn’t mean you’ve been doing it right.  I’ve already been threatened with someone’s seniority who obviously doesn’t know where I came from or how I got here.  And is somehow seriously underestimating my abilities and/or knowledge and education and my patience and temper.

But one things for sure, this is going to be one wild ride.  I’ll keep you posted on my new adventures of …..(insert echo here)…..The Huntress and the Impostor!!!!!

This is the Huntress, watch your back, stay safe and wear your mask, over and out!

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This Virus has Finally Hit Very Close to Home…….

As I began my new job, I was instructed to start working on campus, which to be honest was a relief as working from home, or should I say being micromanaged from home was getting to be a real chore.  I was also getting really tired of having to check in and out for every fucking thing I did, including asking to have time to use the bathroom.  Yes you heard that right, I had to let my former supervisor when I was leaving my “post” to use the bathroom.  Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I wrote that one of my maternal aunts had come down with the virus, she has underlying conditions such as diabetes and repertory issues.  She came through okay, but she told me she wouldn’t wish this virus on anyone, not even her worst enemy.  But my aunts a good person so she thinks like that and I’m glad she considers those types of things.

On Friday, my youngest son told me he was going to go get tested because he said he lost his sense of taste and smell and he said he thought it might be allergies.  He does get them and bad.  At the beginning of every spring and summer he suffers through sneezing, runny nose etc.

I was scared because I didn’t want it to be true, so I reassured him that it was allergies but it was better to be safe than sorry.  This morning he called me because his PCP called to tell him his test came back positive.  My youngest and middle sons don’t live with me, and I only see them once a week.  But this shit has me scared out of my mind because just last week someone here in El Paso died, a young man who was only 31 died of this goddamned virus. Now, I don’t know if this young man had any underlying conditions that caused his demise or if the virus just ravaged his body to the point of death.

My son is 25, and has no underlying conditions, but that does not make this any easier to take in.  As a mother I’m fucking worried sick because he’s my son, he’s my baby and there is nothing worse than seeing your child sick with something the medical community hasn’t found a vaccine for as of yet.  He tells me not to worry because the only symptom he has is loss of taste and smell, but that doesn’t reassure me whatsoever.  He works facilities services at my old university and he says he doesn’t know where he might have come into contact with this virus.  He said that his department have taken every precaution to stay safe, wearing the light hazmat suits, masks, gloves and protective eye wear.  He washes his hands so often he says that he now carries lotion in his car, backpack and keeps it in his desk and locker at work.  He hasn’t even gone to the gym because he’s not entirely sure they are safe to go back so he’s been working out from home.  And yet he still got sick and he nor I know how this happened.

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This is one angry and worried Huntress, over and out!

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The Impostor Huntress Can Be a Bitch To Deal With

I’m headed into my second week in my new job, and so far I like everyone I work with.  My boss is awesome, she’s a real pistol.  I had mentioned that there is another person named Huntress here, were not really Huntress but you guys get the picture right?  Anyway, she’s been nice for the most part.  But she also has a devious side to her (like most Huntress’ do) and I had to put her in her place last week.

She asked me if I was leaving for lunch on Weds and I told her that I was.  Then she asked me if I could pass by her car to peer through the window to see if her ring was in the cup holder.  I thought this weird but I said okay.  A couple of minutes later she comes and hands me her car keys, and then says “Can you unlock my car and look inside? If it’s there can you bring it to me?” I left her hand in the air with her gripping her keys, and then said “Uh, no. I’m not your errand runner, if you want to see if you left your ring in your car, you go look for it.” And she stayed quiet and then laughed and said “Oh that’s okay, I’ll go down when I go check the mail.”

Kermit II meme

I thought she might have gotten the hint that day, but this morning she sends me a message that the IT guys brought back the laptop my boss bought me.  And that she had it in her office, and if I wanted to pick it up I could go anytime.  So after I settled in I walked over to her office and said good morning and all that jazz.  She talked about her weekend (because I was out on Monday) and everything she did.  I’m standing there thinking, just give me my fucking laptop so I can get to work.  So she hands me my laptop and then pulls out another laptop, and says to me “Can you please take this to Tina up front so she can tag it and call the IT guys to map it?”

I stood there looking at her and I was seriously about to go off on her, but instead I said “You might want to take it up front yourself, and have Tina do all that.  I’m Patricia’s executive administrator, not yours.  By the way you might want to bring that attitude down a notch, and be a bit more self-sufficient.  Just because you try to boss people around doesn’t make you the boss, it only makes you look needy and kind of like a dick.” She stood there looking at me, like I might have said something she didn’t like.  Of course I did, I pushed back, just because I’m new doesn’t mean I’m stupid.  I know who I am and who I work for, fucking bitch thinking just because she has seniority doesn’t mean she can treat me like the receptionist.  She hasn’t talked to me since but I’m okay with that.

Cut a bitch meme

At least now the impostor Huntress knows not to mess with the real deal, because this Huntress isn’t about to take anyone’s shit.  Then I realized that her boss and my boss don’t get along.  I don’t know just how deep that rift goes but it seems to me that her boss is a trifle…….demanding and needy.  My boss, is a VP, her boss is a VP.  They need to work together in order to be able to create and approve budgets for every department.  Now I understand why the Impostor Huntress tried to test me, it’s a learned behavior.

Scratch that, she just came to my office to ask what I wanted for lunch because my boss is buying lunch tomorrow.  She seemed okay, but looks can be deceiving, I’ll keep you posted.

This is the Huntress, over and out.

 

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Short and Sweet…okay somewhat sweet

I’m still here people….

I began my new job on Monday of last week, it was to say a very rocky first two days.  This is because here in my new position I need to be independent and a “self-starter” something I couldn’t be in my previous department.  As you all know I was micromanaged to death which included the request to re-write my letter of resignation.  Yes, that’s right I was asked to edit/re-write my resignation letter.  Okay I’m getting off track here.  Anyway, I had really had it with my supervisor, although a very nice lady, after she got preggers, the micromanagement began.  My new boss, is telling me to be myself and take control of my position, and that I don’t have to run everything by her.  She’s a goddamned Vice President, and she’s telling me I DON’T have to run everything by her?!?!?!

By the way, let me just add that she is the most kick ass older white lady I have ever met.  She’s cutthroat and she does not bullshit around.  She holds her own in a room full of male VP’s and demands that she be respected because she’s earned it.  She has a lot of experience and she’s telling me that she hired me because I came across as confident and astute when she interviewed me.  Something I was not during my time with my old job, and something I struggled with the first two days on the job last week.

New Coworker meme

Everyone here is so nice and laid back it’s scary to think about.  One thing that does perteb me is this, this is THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT, and all the other executives dress like they’re going to work-out or shopping for groceries.  I’ve been told by several VP’s and my boss that I dress the part for my job, in which my boss decided to let the man himself (President) that everyone should dress professionally.  Granted most of the staff and student’s aren’t on campus because of the COVID thing, but they are slowly being phased back in.  And now, the other “Huntress” (there are two of us with the same name but technically there is only one Huntress, y’all know that) told me that her boss, another VP mentioned that she needs to dress more business casual.  So, in short, I have already (maybe) alienated some of my new co-workers.  But then again, they work in the most important office on campus, they need to reflect it, no?

Wonder Woman meme

I’ve been busy non-stop since I began last week, I have not posted anything in almost over two weeks, because I now work 8-5 (which I hate, but what can I say?) and when I get home the first thing I do is run.  Then after I make my lunch, put a couple of loads of laundry in and do what I need to for the next day.  I haven’t even had a chance to catch up on the blogs that I follow (apologies to all my fellow bloggers) and I think I need to come up with a rhythm in order to make sense of all the chaos in my life since I began my new job.

And it has been chaotic, meeting after meeting, report reviews, fiscal budgeting, fires, hires…..oh that’s because my boss is “the” boss for all the clinics so every hire and fire goes through her.  Policy reviews, emails, scheduling, phone calls and such that when I leave my office I’m mentally spent, and running helps me forget the business day.   Oh did I forget to mention that my previous department emailed me last week over a small calculator I forgot to turn in? No? Well they did, I got an email from my former supervisor about a fucking $6 dollar calculator! I didn’t respond to her I just took the fucking thing to my old office and left it with the girl at the front desk and asked her if she could email my former boss to let her know that I had dropped off the damned thing.

Done with Shit gif

I’m so done with that place, lucky for me I don’t really have to deal with them in a professional capacity.  I’m more on the fiscal side of things now, instead of the proposal/funding, dealing with idiot faculty members and such.  I’ve already come up with pet names for some of my new coworkers, but that’s a new post entirely.  For now, this is The Huntress, over and out.

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My Two Weeks’ Notice And Micromanaging to the End

This week I signed my offer letter and submitted my information for my background check for my new position.  My new department asked me to wait to give my current department notice until I got my official offer letter.  So when I did, I turned in my letter of resignation to my supervisor, which was Wednesday.  But I had told her on our weekly update meeting over the phone.  She has these meetings with myself and Thing 2, the other research administrator.  So after we went over what proposal’s I had pending and such and right before we hung up, I let her know I had accepted the position.  She congratulated me and then I told her I would submit my letter of resignation.  I had one written up about two weeks after Baby Kermit was hired (yes I actually did.)  About ten minutes after I sent her my letter, she sent it back with…….goddamned EDITS!!!! I was livid, she sent it back with highlights and asked me to change some of the wording.

Harley Quinn meme

I sent it right back to her and said that this was my letter of resignation and NOT one of the proposals I was working on and it was not subject to her input.  She didn’t respond, but about two hours later I got an email with her copying my director and the director of the office of research saying they will accept my letter and resignation.  I sat there thinking to myself, WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK?!?  Anyway, I’ve given my two weeks’ notice and at first when I got the phone call telling me that I had gotten the job I was a bit worried about leaving my supervisor and Thing 2 with all my work pending,  because my supervisor is pregnant and Thing 2 has a lot on her plate.  Okay I do feel bad for Thing 2,  she’s a nice kid and does a good job.

But after last Wednesday I’m like,  fuck no I don’t feel bad,  and I could care less if they give what remains of my pending proposals to Baby Kermit,  that bitch can fry in hell for all I care.  AND she doesn’t even know that so many (so very many) people in our office can’t stand her stupid ass.  I’m just so glad to be out of here.

Fuck you meme

Then, suddenly it hit,  last night I woke up in the middle of the night full of anxiety about my new job.  It’s in “The” main office in the University,  its where everyone is held to the highest standards,  and I kept thinking as I lay in bed at 2:55am,  would I be able to fit in?Would I be able to do what is expected of me?  After rambling on about how I use to love my job,  and how it was the best job I had ever had (up to the point when they went and hired an idiot,  who may or may not have helped in the mismanagement of grant funds at the other university) and now, where do I find myself?  I want to go into my new position with optimism and clarity that I can do this, and yet all the second guessing and micromanaging I’ve gotten in the last year has me doubting my own abilities.  THAT is NOT acceptable!  But even so,  I still lay there in the middle of the night questioning EVERYTHING about myself,  professionally.  My experiences,  my education and my judgement.

Self Doubt meme

Goddamned this fucking place and how it’s made me feel,  because I know I’m educated enough to know that this emotional and psychological bullshit that I’ve been put through all because someone’s hormones are going bat-shit crazy due to the fact that there is a life sucking force inside her right now is,  something I should not be subjected to!  Yes I’m blaming a pregnant woman for the micromanaging I’ve been through since October,  all because that’s when she found out she was expecting.  I see that as a connection,  because that’s right about the time all the micromanaging began.

Lego meme
This is the worst I can wish on a pregnant woman….

Then on Friday we had a video team meeting,  we played Jeopardy (this was fucking Baby Kermit’s idea,  I swear I could kill the bitch) it took about an hour of my time.  Time that I could have been working on tying up all loose ends on what is left of my proposals.

Coworker meme

Then my supervisor said that she had an announcement, and then told me to tell everyone about my new “opportunity” and I was like what the fuck?!?  She told me she was going to announce this shit to the team.  I sighed really loud and kind of in protest, and then I told everyone about my two weeks and new job.  Then our newest team member,  the nice lady that was hired to replace JP said,  “Oh Veronica, was it me?” And she laughed as did everyone else,  and then I responded with “Oh my, no Angie (not her real name) it’s not YOU” and everyone stopped laughing….

Smudge meeting meme
Yes, it should have been a fucking email!

I’ve had four of my proposals ready for my supervisors review since the end of April/beginning of May and she hasn’t gotten around to it.  Why? Because she’s a goddamned micromanager and has been working on other shit that Thing 2 has been working on.  So when she did finally get around to it,  she started sending me emails on what I needed to correct.  Finally on Friday afternoon I sent her an email (nice, polite email) that the deadline for all of these is at the end of May and edits should have been done early on,  that’s why I had them ready for her by the end of last month.

Punch coworker meme

But I would tell her that I’d send all the information to the faculty members for them to change (this late in the game) and “try” to get them back to her before I leave.  She didn’t respond.  So,  my supervisor is overwhelmed because she is so busy micromanaging my work,  and I’m assuming Thing 2’s as well, that she can’t keep up.  Instead of allowing us to use our own judgement,  make mistakes to learn from them,  build a rapport with the faculty members that allow us to get to know them and how they work,  and produce quality work on our own.

Madonna meme

She instead want’s us to sound like her,  make sure we write like her,  talk to the faculty members the way she does,  and leave our professional individuality and experience by the wayside so we can be exact replicas of who she is.

Karen Walker meme

No thank you! I may not be done bitching about this place,  that won’t happen until I leave,  but I’m sure I’ll have plenty to write about in the next two weeks.

On the Huntresses home-front, one of my maternal aunts came down with that fucking COVID virus.  She has underlying conditions, she’s diabetic and she contracted it at the clinic she works at.  She’s a medical assistant, she’s been in quarantine for almost three weeks.  I just found out about this TODAY, because my mother, who can’t remember what day of the week it is, says she definitely told me.  Which she certainly did NOT! I think I would have remembered her telling me one of my aunts having COVID19!!  I reached out to my poor aunt who has just gotten her voice back and she told me (and I quote) “I wouldn’t wish this illness on my worst enemy.” Which is admirable because she’s a good person, but you know me, I have enemies and people I don’t like so draw your own conclusions.  She’s doing better and she got cleared to be able to go out in public.  She said she wasn’t,  she was going to take one more week of self-quarantine. Talk about hitting home in this time of uncertainty.  Y’all take care of yourselves and remember,  when you take care of yourselves you are taking care of everyone around you.

This is the Huntress, over and out!

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Critical Comments and Callus Observations

Urban Cowboy

This weekend I binge watched movies, one of them being Urban Cowboy.  Which is one of my favorite’s movies of all time.  I use to love the entire theme of the movie, but as I grew older and would re-watched several times, I began to realize that…I fucking hate Debra Winger as Sissy.  She’s a fucking idiot, but Bud isn’t far behind either.  They are both stupid, they act like complete children, and let’s face it Madolyn Smith (Pam) would have made a waaayyyy better Sissy than fugly Debra Winger.

Pam Urban Cowboy
So much more beautiful than…Debra Winger.

Sissy Urban Cowboy
WTF, seriously? NOT attractive whatsoever!

She’s smart, beautiful and carries herself as such, okay she had a bit of a devious streak in her.  But I can overlook that because she admitted that she didn’t even love Bud, that’s a plus-plus in my book, she was honest.  Unlike fugly Sissy and her misleading Bud, but in her defense, Bud was a chauvinistic asshole.

Actors In their 50’s Then and Now….

Another of one of my favorite films is Rear Window with James Stewart and Grace Kelly.  This film is an absolute classic.  I’ve watched this movie a million times it seems and this weekend I saw it again and noticed something grotesquely odd.  There is a scene where Jimmy Stewart is getting a message by his nurse/physical therapist (Thelma Ritter, another awesome actress) and he takes his shirt off.  And then…….ewwww, just ewww.  Yes I know how that sound but let me put this in perspective.  This film was made in 1954, which means that James Stewart was only 46 in this movie and he looks 70 years old.

Rear Window pic
46 years old….looks 70

Compare that with Brad Pitt at 56 in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, looking devastatingly handsome.

Brad Pitt pic
56 years old….looks 35

Ripped abs and all, while Jimmy Steward in Rear Window at 46, saggy in every place possible.  Not to mention that although I love this film, James Stewart’s character “Jefferies” treats Grace Kelly’s character like shit, and I think she should have left his bedridden, saggy boobed ass.  I’m not sure why actors and actresses in the 40s and 50s look way older than they seemed in film.  But I’m so glad that today, they don’t because, damn!

New/Old Coworker Fake Debra Messing

I found out that an old coworker, or should I say acquaintance works in the office where I’ll be working soon.  And as promised I knew that soon I’d find something or someone to blog about at my new job.  This person use to work at my old university as well, and she got fired for not complying with the professional dress code.  She use to work in the office of Scholarship Programs, with another VP.  She was the admin assistant and she was the first person people saw when they walked into the office.  She dresses (yes still) like an old beat up wannabe gangster chick.  She has NO fashion sense whatsoever, and yet she manages to get jobs with high profile administrators and I don’t know why?  She thinks she’s still 30 years old, and can pull off wearing leather pants and animal print tops (in the office no less) and has never, ever cut her air (remind you of anyone?)   She has this one length, fake red hair all the way past her fat ass.  AND I know she’s a goddamned brunette but she insists on coloring her hair an awful, reddish brown.  I don’t even know what actual color it is, all I know is she looks ridiculous, she always has.

Gross Red Hair meme

Oh did I forget to mention she rides her Harley Davidson to work?  So, she looks like a fake red hair, leather pant, zebra print blouse, bandanna, hooker platform shoe wearing idiot.  Yes I know it sounds like I’m bashing on someone but don’t forget I worked with this person before, and she is not in any way professional (like Baby Kermit) but I know that she doesn’t have any bad/annoying habits like Kermit and her fucking loud gerping.  Other than the fact that she talks like an over the hill Chola.

Chola meme

But I can overlook that, if she leaves me alone.  I’m going to christen her, Fake Debra Messing because I HATE Debra Messing, she’s so unbelievably annoying in EVERYTHING she does.

Grace meme
That’s because you are a loser….ugh!

And she’s the only annoying redhead I can think of other than Carrot Top.  So, you see I haven’t even started my new job yet and I’ve already christened my first coworker with her blog name.  I’ll keep you posted.

This is the Huntress, over and out!

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Midweek Update and Other Happenings In the Huntresses World

I suppose this is a midweek post because I’m just getting tired of working from home, eating cold fried chicken (which I love) and having my fair share of the new drink called a Quarantini.  This wonderful drink is literally what you make it.  I my case it’s white wine with club soda and frozen fruit to keep my drink cold (my enamored white wine spritzers.)

Quarantini meme

Because let’s face it, when we’re told we can’t go out, all we want to do is go the fuck out.  And when we’re told to go out, all we want to do is stay home, go figure.  In any case, my friend over at Rivergirl has constantly posted about people who follow her blog and find that they are either vendors of some sort or just plain fucking weird.  Then I found myself being asked to be friends to people I don’t even fucking know on no other than FITBIT!  Yes I wear a Fitbit since I started to lose weight and run, now the bastard strapped to my wrist tells me to get up and go get another slice of pizza and Quarantini…..bastard!

Fitbit meme

In any case, I don’t know these people who are asking me to “friend” them on the Fitbit app, if I don’t know you, I’m going to give you a hard NO!  Seriously, where do people just decide (at random) I’m going to ask this person I’ve never met to let be their friend?

Fit Bit pic

Deana Fitbit
I have no idea who Deana is or why I’d want to be friended by someone I don’t know?

The last one I got I delete right away, it was from a “Ling Qui Fang” (yes that was the name) and then I read a bit of her profile and it was fucking porn.  Her statement was something like she was looking to get ****ed and wanted a ***buddy. Yes the Huntress just used the abbreviated or censored version of the word FUCK, because in that context I’m like….everybody needs to get ****ed, but not on my Fitbit or blog you don’t.  Unless it’s to FUCK you up Harley Quinn style, then I’m okay with it, baseball bat, colt .45 revolver and all.

Harley Quinn meme
Kardashian? Hell no, I’d rather be a Harley Quinn.

Anyway, I don’t know these people so why would I be your buddy?  I’m on my Fitbit to lose weight and run, not to start a sorority, BUT I have one friend I did recognize, and I have as a blog buddy as well, Aunt Deb.  Everyone else can just leave me alone.

Oh did I forget to tell y’all that…………………..

I GOT THE JOB IN THE PRESIDENT’S OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quitting job meme

I got the call and offer yesterday afternoon, after a horrible day dealing with my now resentful director and all because of the incompetence of Thing 1.  Yes, she did something wrong and I got blamed for it (this was before the phone call) and I was fuming.  But I didn’t do or say anything as I just read the accusatory email and fumed alone, at home…..Quarantini in hand.  But after I received the phone call from one of the ladies in the President’s office, everything seemed to melt away, all the stress, anxiety, resentment just seemed to fall off me like a wet bath towel.  I had myself another, even bigger Quarantini, ordered my favorite pizza from Pizza Hut, Super Supreme with extra, extra jalapenos and ate said celebratory pizza in sheer happiness and satisfaction that I will never have to hear gawddamned Baby Kermit gerp ever again!!!  I watched Suicide Squad happy as a clam in sand, anticipating the reaction of my entire department when I turn in my letter of resignation, which I’ve had since they hired that stupid bitch Baby Kermit.  Did I mention I’ll be getting $14K more in salary? No, oh well then yes, this move is not only a promotion, but I’ll be getting paid way more.

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I don’t want to brag, but what can I say getting paid more to leave micromanaging and Baby fucking Kermit behind? It’s a WIN-WIN if you ask me.  I’m not going to start until June 1st but I’m okay with that….I’m okay with everything right now.

This is the Huntress, over and out!

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Interview Update and a Clusterfuck Bomb Explosion

First of all May the 4th Be With You and if you don’t understand what that means……your beyond comprehension….onto the post!

My last blog post was about how I was (still) questioning my leadership, job and professional abilities, and all the emotional baggage that comes with all of the above.  Because let’s face it, when your micromanaged, one begins to doubt a lot of what you’ve learned and that includes all of the years of experience.  This is how I feel right now, but things could (I say could because I’m not sure how this will turn out) be looking better for me soon.  I had a video interview a week ago with the Office of The President for our University.  It was a panel of three people, all women and I thought I did well.

interview question 2

Well enough I may add, to get invited to a second interview, but this one in person at the President’s Office.  Now Texas had lifted the shelter at home order but with restrictions.  El Paso still requiring for everyone to wear a mask out in public.  I accepted and dressed properly for my in person interview this past Friday.  Something I haven’t done since this entire work from home shit began.  I drove to campus and everything was locked, so I called the number they gave me in case this were to happen and I was let into the building by the President himself.  Which I thought was funny and kind of odd.  In any case I made my way up to the 4th floor with the President walking 6 ft in front of me, he asked who I was there to meet and I told him.

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He showed me into the waiting room and then asked if I wanted anything to drink, and I told him I was fine and thanked him.  He then said that the vice president that I was there to interview with would be out to greet me in a minute.  I smiled and thanked him again as I sat in the almost abandoned office listening to the eerie quiet of what this pandemic has made life like for a lot of people. I heard muffled talking down the hall and then the VP came to take me into an extremely large conference room, with conference table just as big.  Then a panel of five people walked in and introduced themselves as several staff members that I would be working with should I get the job.  I hadn’t been this nervous since my interview for my current position, and then I got the “Thanks but No Thanks” email and then the call telling me I got the job since their first candidate/choice turned down the job….remember that?

Ricky Bobby meme

Everyone introduced themselves and the interview began as the VP opened up with a question that caught me off guard at first.  She cleared her throat and asked “So, Huntress, do you like to target practice or to go hunting?” I was confused because I had no idea what she was talking about as two of the other women who had been on the first video interview with her began to giggle.  I looked at her and said “Um, no…..why?”  She started to laugh and then she said that during my video interview they had noticed something strange in the background of where I was sitting facing the camera on the video call…..

Gun on The Wall 5.4.20
This was the view that they saw behind me during my video interview.  Anyone see a gun?

Then she explained that during my video interview they saw what appeared to be a rifle in the background.  I thought for a second and began to laugh and explained that it was a B-B gun/rifle because I have asshole doves that poop all over my back yard and one prick mockingbird that dive bombs my cat.  I told everyone I use the BB gun to shoot at the birds that are running amuck with my cat and yard.  I thought that was pretty funny at least I know they have a sense of humor.  Which in my book, counts for a lot because without a sense of humor you might as well be dead inside.  Then something horrible happened, the VP contacted my current supervisor for a professional reference.  On my way home from my interview I had stopped by to pick up some lunch for me and my son.  When I got home, I saw that I had a text message from my supervisor….

Nat Text Msg
How else could I react other than to thank her micromanaging ass?

I was livid, I mean I was horrified beyond belief because I didn’t want anyone in my current department to know I was actively looking for another job.  So now…..they fucking know!  To make things worse my supervisor told my director about the call from the President’s office and now I feel like I’m fucked!

Nat Text about Terry
Giant facepalm was my first reaction….

I haven’t heard from anyone in the President’s office since my interview on Friday, and now I’m wondering if I don’t get this job, how will this micromanaging result or continue because my director and supervisor know I may not be happy.  Who knows, but either way I’ll keep a positive frame of mind and have twice as many white wine spritzers to ease the anxiety of this mini clusterfuck bomb that went off on Friday….

Susan wine meme
Seriously Susan, gawd damn…..*bottle breaks in the background*

This is the Huntress, over and out!

 

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Questioning My Leadership and The Huntresses Abilities

This isn’t a blog post but more of a diary entry, so it may not sound as profound or professional.  It may lack humor and even curse words.  But,  there is a need to be able to write this down because I do,  after all have the overwhelming urge to write.

In November of 2017 I began the job that I thought was “the” best job I’d ever had.  I seriously and consciously believed this.  From the moment I began, in that cold November morning as I walked into my new office, I believed that everything I had worked so hard for was finally in my grasp.  Even though the first week I spent sitting at my desk reading a book because my supervisor hadn’t contacted IT prior to me starting to get me a computer, login, printer etc.  She’d walk into my office and apologize a thousand time and say that she’s so busy that she can’t keep up with everything that’s going on.  Being new I smiled and told her that I understood, because after all a new employee should be able to navigate their way on their own for a while (or should I say a new departmental employee because I had already been with the university for over two years.)  To be able to train,  guide,  mentor and help me gain the knowledge I’d need to do my job successfully was going to take time.  And with her being so busy and all,  I knew that I’d sit idle for a while.

Sitting idle meme

And sit idle I did, for over two entire weeks, even though I had finally gotten a computer, three monitors, a printer and scanner I had no idea what I was supposed to do.  But being the self-motivator I am,  I began to watch webinars and read articles on research administration.   When my director came into my office she asked if I was ready to work on my first proposal, I said of course but that I hadn’t gotten access to the research portal our office used to work on proposals.  She was surprised and said “You mean Alexis hasn’t gotten you access?” and I nodded no.  She left my office and then five minutes later the IT guy was at my desk granting me access.  My supervisor came in and apologized again, something she’d gotten really good at since I started.

This was only my first two weeks, and I dismissed my supervisor’s lack of attention on the fact that she was overwhelmed at work and now that I was there I’d be able to take some of that responsibility off her shoulders and do what I was hired to do.

Deadpool meme

That was three years ago, and today I find myself even more frustrated than I was those first two weeks when I had no computer, no access no nothing.  Now I have access to everything, I have memberships to research administration societies,  I attend webinars and online conferences and to date I am exactly where I was three years ago.  Trying to find solace in the fact that all my experience and education that I worked so hard for isn’t being utilized for a good reason.  I work,  and when I say I work I do,  but that doesn’t mean that I have confidence in my abilities.  Because when one tries to establish oneself in a career that one has been working towards and sees that nothing is coming of it, what can one do?

I am one of four research administrators, and one of us only works part time and you all know her as Thing 1.   She’s a nice lady in her late 60’s and sometimes she does get on my nerves, but I can deal with her because she’s a genuinely good person.  Then there is Thing 2,  who has previously worked in research administration but with a faculty member in his lab.  Then left to get married and have a baby and got hired in my department after I did.  She gets paid more than I do because of her previous experience with federal submissions.  She’s a smart cookie and a really nice albeit naïve girl in her early 30’s who still loves to plan things like baby showers with themes and decorations and stuff.  I am no longer in that stage in my life, I’m older and much wiser (so I like to think).  Now I mentioned that she gets paid more than I do, and I realize it sounds like I’m complaining about this.  But I’m not, I’m stating a fact that experience is valuable when it comes to doing ones job and should take that over education because it doesn’t diminish ones abilities…….in some cases.  Remember I said that.

Then there is the bitch that I’ve come to loath, that I hate with the fire of a thousand suns, Baby Kermit.  This stupid bitch came from my former university and left her department right when a federal audit and inquiry into mishandling of federal funds began.  I still maintain that she was a strategic hire, and my director knew it because it was her former department as well.  She too only has a bachelors but how and why I think of her differently than Thing 2 is because of my sheer hatred for her.  Yes I realize that I sound bias but hey, it’s my blog and I’ll hate who I want.  Anyway, she too has experience in federal proposals but that doesn’t mean she’s been doing them right.  My director boasted when she got hired that Kermit submitted over 220 proposals in one fiscal year.  And my thought was, she submitted that many but how many of those were done right, got funded or were rejected?

Kermit meme

And not so much the fact that I hate her for doing her so-called work.  But I hate her for doing other annoying things,  like her high pitched stupid childlike voice, her constant gerping in the office (and on our online meetings) the fact that she is just nasty as hell with her hippy commune fashion and her annoyingly long, uncut, un-kept hair!!

In any case, since working from home, which is now going on week five, I’ve been trying to stay as positive as I can about the entire situation.  The work from home, the COVID19 and how many states want to open up before we’ve hit the peak of this virus.  And watching the idiots on the news that are protesting in state capitals that they want our state governments to lift the shelter in place orders because (and I quote from a dumb bitch on camera in Austin Texas) “we’re all going to die, its nature.”  And I’m sitting here thinking to myself,  okay bitch if you want to kill yourself go right ahead because if your that stupid to think that way,  especially about a virus that hasn’t gotten a cure yet,  by all means you dumbass idiot kill yourself,  BUT you’re not taking me with you!

stupid meme

Then having to work remotely dealing with my supervisor who since she got pregnant has micromanaged my work to death since this work for home shit, is really getting to be more than I can handle.   Since beginning the WFH, I can’t send out emails to faculty or sponsors without me sending the draft to her first, then she sends it back to me, rewritten in the language that she uses, and tells me to send out the version she wrote.  Also, working on proposals I have to completely give her all my drafts now, for her to “review” then she sends them back to me rewritten, tells me to submit the version she sent and then has the audacity to complain that she has so much work on her plate.   Which makes me wonder, does she do the same thing to Thing 2?  I don’t dare ask Thing 2 because she and my supervisor are very close, and I’m afraid that Thing 2 might inadvertently say something about this.

2nd Micromanaging meme

But it goes farther than this micromanaging, since beginning this working from home shit, everyone else has attended a lot of paid webinars or virtual conferences, who get Continuing Education Credits because of their attendance.  I sent my supervisor an email to let her know that one of the societies I belong to will switch over a registration fee for a conference I was supposed to attend in early March to several webinars and virtual conferences.  That was two weeks ago and have been completely ignored with my request.

Michael Myers meme

Then I have been asked to create a work report for everything I do during the day, and I’m seriously thinking….are you fucking kidding me?!?!  I am to say the least, very unhappy with this job, the job that I believe was the best job I ever had….at first.  A job that I believed that I would be able to advance in, that I’d be able to learn and grow my experience and education on research administration.  A job that when I was hired, was told that I was offered because their first choice turned them down.  Yep, you heard that right,  when my supervisor called to offer me the job she told me (inadvertently) that they were offering me the job because their top candidate had turned down the position because they couldn’t meet her salary request.

Ricky Bobby meme

Now I think that should have been a red flag, but I desperately wanted to get out of my previous department because the department chair is Satan’s concubine, a bitch of total bitchdom, someone I wouldn’t mind finding out she was fired for being a bitch!

And I’ve learned so much on my own that I’ve tough Thing 1,  Kermit and even JP when he was still here,  our new software for proposal submission AND taught them how to create sub-awards and contracts in the new system as well and I don’t even work with SUB-AWARDS OR CONTRACTS!!!  I’ve learned a lot about our universities operating procedures, mostly those that might have an effect on grants, proposals and contracts that certain faculty members might violate.   I’ve schooled myself on things that staff in my department call other departments to get information on!

It wasn’t so much jumping out of the frying pan into the fire but a change of being in a complete departmental dictatorship to joining a completely passive aggressive type of management.  Hence why I am beginning to second guess myself, my education and my abilities.  This is a feeling that I am not familiar with and I totally hate feeling like this.   I know I’m professional and capable of doing my job, I’ve excelled in all my other positions in spite of the obstacles that I’ve encountered.  And not once have I felt as discouraged and or questioned myself as much as I have since beginning this entire working from home shit, and working in this department.  My supervisor is completely ignoring my requests, emails and when we have our “weekly” meetings because she wants a progress report on everything I’m working on.  Not that all the daily work reports tell her exactly what I’m doing…..the constant redundancy is infuriating!

Redundancy meme

And with 90% of all university employee’s working from home, there is a reduction of human resources hiring for jobs that have been applied for, like with my application and subsequent interview with JP’s department.  But all is not lost, because I began to feel like this way before working from home I began to apply for other, better paying and seemingly more lucrative positions that might help me be able to use all my education and knowledge.   Since JP’s department emailed me that they had to put their applications and previous interviews on hold, I didn’t hold out any hope for that position.  I had applied for four other jobs, and one came through on Tuesday.  I got an email from the University’s Office of the President for a video interview on Friday.  I had applied for an Executive Associate to the President and when I did I thought of it as a complete long shot.  That’s because I was still questioning all my abilities and one of my friends told me I had nothing to lose by applying and the worst that would happen was that I didn’t get an interview and I would move on.

Mother Teresa quote

But, on Tuesday I got an email requesting an interview for the position of Executive Associate to the President of our university.  I am excited to say the least, and I hope that this will lead to something better for me.  At my age I don’t have time to be working in a department who doesn’t value my experience, education and everything else I have to offer to micromanaging, passive-aggressive management and/or supervision.  And in turn make me question myself all the time, so I am looking for other opportunities.

And whether or not I get this job, I’ll still be looking, and now I’m all fired up!

This is the Huntress, stay safe, over and out!

 

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Week Four – Working From Home My Favorite Brit Edition

Yes that’s right, I’m working from home (running out of work really) and I’ve decided NOT to focus on anything negative.  What?! You are wondering if this is really the Huntress and not some squeaky clean, Girl Scout Troop leader taking her place.  NO! It is not, I am still the Huntress and I have plenty of shit to talk about only…….*sigh* I’m getting kind of tired of being negative all the time (I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m running out of wine and have to go this weekend to stock up.)  In any case I was on the phone with my good friend Virginia and we got into a friendly debate over which actors we’d kidnap and hold for ransom.  She likes Leo DiCaprio and I prefer Brad Pitt, that kind of debate.  Then we began talking about foreign actors and I began telling her about my favorite Brits and my number one choice made her question our friendship.

But that’s okay, I question my friendships all the fucking time.   Anyway I say that because not only was she shocked at my pick, but she didn’t even know who he was.  That’s what made me think that I’d blog about my top five favorite British actors I’d LOVE to kidnap and hold for ransom.  So here I go…

#5 Simon Pegg

Simon Pegg

Mr. Pegg first came to my attention more than a decade ago when I was literally FORCED to watch a movie called Hot Fuzz.  Yes I say forced because I knew nothing of him or the movies he’d made up until I saw Hot Fuzz.  This film is one of my all-time favorites and that’s probably because of its ambiguous sarcasm.

Drunk Kid Hot Fuzz
This kind of sarcasm, I fucking love it!

Those subtle little mind fucks here and there, and how absolutely fabulous Simon Pegg is in these films.   He has another film about running called “Run Fat Boy Run” and that film made me his fan for life!

Run Fat Boy Run gif
Yes, those are swimming trunks her’s trying to run in….lol

#4 Ewan McGregor

Nicole Kidman

What can I saw about Ewan? Other than, he’s a perfectly dreamy wonder of a man.  Yes you heard that right, I can’t quite remember when or where I saw Ewan McGregor on screen.  But he definitely caught my attention in the film Down With Love with Rene Zellweger.

Down wirh Love gif

And who can forget his performance in Birds of Prey? Okay if you haven’t seen it, you need to because although he plays a bad guy (a very bad guy) that’s how I like my men. Good and bad, both at the same time!

#3 Tom Hiddleston

Tom
I think he could be the next 007

Another sexy as hell Brit who can change his performance to suit the film’s needs, which in my book makes him a great actor.  I first saw him (no not in Thor/Avengers) but in a little known film called Only Lovers Left Alive with Tilda Swinton.  He was, to say the least AMAZING in this film.  He plays a vampire, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.  An intelligent, aristocratic, full of sex appeal vampire.  Something I didn’t find with Lestat, him being an emotional sucking vampire but, oh well.

images

Then of course, who could forget his performance as Loki the God of Mischief in the Avengers films? Seriously I don’t think they could have picked a better actor to play this part.  He too has an air of sarcastic ambiguity about him, and I absolutely love that! I’m sensing a pattern here….

images (1)
Who doesn’t love a mischievous god? Even if it is in a fantasy life…

#2 Idris Elba

032720-idris-elba

Oh Mr. Elba, what can I say about thee?  Other than how I met him, and that was when I was out of work back in 2015 (for all of three months) and binge watching the BBC series Luther.  Love that show, and I’m so glad I watched all of the seasons (up until then) all at once.

Idis Elba

And my admiration for Mr. Elba only began to grow as I began to watch some of his movies, like The Mountain Between Us, and Turn It Up Charlie, both were as good as his portrayal of hardened detective John Luther, only he showed his tender loving side.  Which is a side I wouldn’t mind seeing…ahem….holding for ransom.

Idris Elba MBU
One tall glass of water that Mr. Elba is…..yep!

And now for my all time number one pick, for my favorite Brit I’d like to kidnap and hold for ransom…….

#1 Noel Fielding

Noel Fielding

Okay a lot of people wonder (especially here in the U.S) who the fuck is Noel Fielding?  Well plainly put, he’s a comedian and actor from England.  He was part of an ensemble cast of a show called The Mighty Boosh, something like Saturday Night Live only raunchier, because it’s the UK after all.  He’s also a judge on the Great British Bake-Off Show (yes I can see that your wondering wtf?) but he’s enchanting, and I’d love to kidnap him and hold him for ransom.

Noel Fielding #2

Honorable Mention – James McAvoy

James McAvoy
Because just look at him….grrrr

So there you have it, The Huntress’ top five favorite Brits I’d love to kidnap and hold for ransom.  My friend Virginia say’s I have a “type” but doesn’t exactly explain what that “type” is.

So I’m just going to keep wondering because I don’t like to put anyone/thing into a particular category.  Unless your an asshole, then your just a plain asshole and nothing you can do will change how I feel about you and your assholeness.

This is The Huntress, remember to wash your hands, stay safe and for god-sake STAY HOME!!

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I Don’t Understand Old People Or How the Huntress Almost Lost it In Public

Since the self-isolated quarantine has been imposed,  most of us have had to stay and work from home.  Some of us are lucky enough that we have jobs that allow us to do that, remaining on the payroll and such.  But sometimes we have to actually go outside, such as the case with me last week.  I had a mammogram scheduled back in January and then the diagnostics place called to reschedule for mid-March.  Then they called me the week before last to reschedule me for last week on Weds.  I understood the reason for them rescheduling my appointment,  because of the current social and pandemic situation that they are scheduling patients to comply with social distancing purposes.

Thankfully this diagnostics/imaging place is only four blocks from my house, and I was asked to be there by 7:30 am.  When I arrived they did have protocols in place to keep only a certain amount of people in the waiting room at a time.  But, not everyone paid attention (Cheesus Crust this was annoying as phuck!)  I arrived early,  and as soon as I did,  I saw a huge 5’x 5’ sign stating to wait by the door for the medical screener to ask you the appropriate questions and take your temperature.

It also states that if there are more than two people in line to keep 6 feet away from each other, there was even bright florescent yellow tape on the concrete sidewalk outside, six feet apart indicating as such.  Since I was the very first one there,  I had no problem as I was alone in the waiting room.  They had positioned chairs in front of the intake desk to keep the mandated six feet apart from patients and the medical staff.

The screener asked me all the questions pertaining to the COVID19, and then swiped my forehead with a temperature scanner.  Soon after the girl at the front desk called me forward, as the medical screener gave me the okay to proceed.  She asked me for my paperwork, insurance card (which were placed inside a clear tray ) and gave me a clipboard of papers I needed to sign.  She gave me back my stuff, and I found a chair where I sat and then watched in horror at the following….

Old+people+suck_dc041c_3984275

Slowly other people began to file in, and then it happened……the Walking Senile started to take over and ignore the GIANT sign to wait and get screened!!  These were all people over the age of 75,  yes I can tell how old they were,  the men by their pasty white legs,  lose fitting shorts or pants up to their chest, white tube socks to their knees.  And the women wearing polyester pants and Dr. Scholl’s orthotic shoes,  sporting ten year old boy haircuts.   They all ignored the explicit instructions in giant red letters,  ignored the medical screener sitting right AT the door and then when told to go back to the door, where the screener was at, either couldn’t fucking hear what the staff was saying or asked like idiots “Why?”

Stupid Old Person meme

A lady walked in with her daughter,  past the screener right up to the front desk,  MOVED the chairs and right up to the nurse conducting intake of patients.   The nurse,  who was clearly upset,  told the old broad to go back to the door,  get screened and wait to be called and leave the chairs in place like they were.  The dumb ass bitch said “But why?!” extremely loud as so everyone heard.  Just because you can’t hear doesn’t mean you have to yell out everything because you think everyone else can’t hear either….LORT!

The screener walked towards this Showtime Crypt Keeper looking bitch and then asked her if the other lady with her was her daughter.

Crypt Keeper
Yes exactly like this but with a boys haircut

The Crypt Keeper said that it was her daughter,  then the nurse behind the intake counter told her that only patients to be seen could be in the waiting room.  Again the fucking Crypt Keeper said in Spanish “But why? She’s my daughter.”  I was just about to lose it when low and behold……yet another old ass motherfucker came walking in,  past the giant sign,  the screener and right up to the intake counter,  moved two of the chairs and began to talk.  By this time I could see the staff was getting more and more impatient and flustered with the people (old ass motherfuckers) walking in and ignoring instructions.

Old Age meme

A male nurse came out from the back,  walked up to the intake counter,  asked the old fart if he was there to get some imaging and all I could hear was “Huh? What?!?” Oh gawd,  I wanted to fucking scream.  The male nurse asked him again,  and the grumpy old  man was like “Oh yeah, here’s my paperwork” and the nurse walked him back to the screener at the door.  He yelled out “Where are you taking me?!?!”  The nurse said he had to be screened before he could enter the waiting room and the old fart yelled “Huh? What? Why?!?!”

Repeat Everything Meme

Clearly the asshole old fart needs hearing aids,  but we all could hear him keep asking why he needed to be screened.  Then after he was screened went right back to the intake counter and MOVED THE FUCKING CHAIRS AGAIN!!!!!  The nurse behind the counter told him not to move the chairs (again) and he moved the damned chairs to get closer to the counter to hear the nurse who was telling him not to move the chairs!!!!!

Old Lady Scooter In Ditch meme
Okay I did find this hilarious, seriously I know someone this happened to….LMAO

I thought to myself,  we’re in serious trouble if we have old people like this walking around contaminating us all.  None of them were wearing masks,  touching everything in sight,  and being as annoying as fuck in the process.  I include my parents in this because I’ve told them over and over that they aren’t to leave the house,  under any circumstances.  And what do I find out?  They leave to the store or the post office when my brother leaves for work.

I was,  to say the least,  furious,  and their response?  “Oh it’s just to the store in our neighborhood or the post office” and I literally screamed at them that I was taking both their car keys with me (yes they both still drive.)  And I did,  knowing that both my parents can’t walk farther than a few feet without both of them sounding like Darth Vader having an asthma attack,  I saw it as the only option.

Darth Vader meme

Yes they were angry but I don’t give a fuck,  if their generation is any indication that following protocols isn’t they’re forte,  then we’re all going to die from COVID19!

Your killing me smalls meme

Yes I know I sound like I’m old people bashing but they have been the group that either aren’t listening to all of the health mandates or don’t really care about them because their old goddammit and……….. “If I lived through small pox, I can live through this Crownvirus!’  Yes that was an actual quote from the Old Man from the UP movie

Up Old Man

looking asshole who was standing in front of me while I was waiting to be taken back to the mammogram machine of boob torture.  (The fucker did say crownvirus not coronavirus)

Preppng for Mammogram meme
I think I’ll do this prep the next time I have to go and get this fucking thing done again

I told my good friend Deb (Aunt Debbie to the blogosphere) that I wasn’t sure what was more painful,  the actual mammogram itself,  literally having my poor boobs pressed in between two plates of glass for five seconds at a time (in different positions may I add) or having to deal with the Walking Senile/Stupid/Stubborn in the waiting room.  Seriously, it’s a tossup here.

Random Thought of The Day

As grumpy,  angry,  or in total disbelief as I may seem at times (okay all the time) I have not lost all faith in humanity.  Yes,  I know it’s hard for people to believe that I actually said that.  But the truth is,  we,  the human race are survivalists.  History has shown how resilient we are,  that every time we’ve been knocked down (usually be the stupid people in humanity)  we’ve gotten right back up again to continue.

The video itself is a bit corny,  four extremely talented singers comprised this group called The Highwaymen (well for those of you who like country music.)  The lyrics to the song resonate with me and I know this song may not be about the current situation but it has a much deeper meaning to it if you listen to it.

Highwaymen

 

This is the Huntress, wash your hands, stay safe and for god-sake STAY HOME!!

Featured

Blog Material – Working from Home Edition

Since I’ve been working from home, and yes, I have really been working, I have come across some very interesting people in my neighborhood, not that I didn’t know them, I just hadn’t written about them.  Arionis, mentioned that maybe that working from home, I may not have any blog material to write about, giving people their pet names and such.  Not so,  as I have plenty of people in my neighborhood that I can make fun of….ahem write about.

I pondered this and realized that there is always blog material to write, some interesting and others……. not so much.  I live in a somewhat quiet neighborhood, I say somewhat because I have a neighbor,  whom I’ll call Prick Harley Guy.  This motherfucker has been my neighbor across the street, three houses down the left from my front yard.  I don’t know what his real name is,  all I know is that his last name is Casas.

Annoying Harley Riders

He’s a complete asshole who thinks his neighbors who want to listen to his arguments with his family.  Seriously this prick yells at his kids and whatever girlfriend was stupid enough to give him a chance at a relationship, loud enough for everyone in the neighborhood can hear.   I’ve heard him yell things like “And you think your special enough for me NOT to wear a condom?!” to some poor woman who yelled back “Oh hell no, I never asked you to NOT wear a condom, I asked you to make sure you put it on asshole!!”  Yeah shit like that.

And if people were out in their front yards while his verbal diarrhea spewed like a giant lewd lawn sprinkler he’d yell at the neighbors “What?! You people have nothing else to do but listen in on private conversations?!?!”  Yep,  he’s that stupid if he thinks yelling at his family and/or girlfriends in his yard loud enough for everyone in a two block radius to hear is a private conversation…..lort give me patience.

Madea meme

So he got his name because he used to be an over the road truck driver, and was away for weeks at a time.  We’d know this because the neighborhood would be totally quiet and serene.  Also because when he’d be home, the prick would park his rig in front of his house.  But it was the fact that he had this huge Harley Davidson motorcycle, and early on the weekends when he was home, he’d get on it and rev the fucking thing (many, many times) and wake up half the neighborhood.  Or late at night when everyone was asleep, again no social cues whatsoever.

My son was on the verge of going over there to shut him up, but I told him that going to jail wasn’t worth that assholes idiot ass.   Then,  two years ago, he went silent and all of us wondered (happily may I add) what had happened.  Then one day,  I saw him out in his front yard and he sat there, quiet as a mouse and thought to myself,  well that’s weird.

Cricket meme

A couple of weeks went by and I found out from another neighbor that the asshole had an accident on his Harley.  It seems he almost became a hood ornament for a Mack truck……oh the irony.  The fucker was learning how to walk and talk again…..karma is a fickle bitch sometimes don’t ya think?

Karma's a Bitch meme

Then there is RedNexican Trailer Trash Guy, who lives two houses down from me on the corner to the left.  This asshole motherfucker thinks he lives in a trailer park (not that there’s anything wrong with that,  so don’t go getting your knickers in a twist, you know who you are) because he has five,  YES FIVE piece of shit Toyota SUV’s and trucks on his lawn.  Apparently he modifies these things for money.  Lifting them,  adding roll cages, light bars,  extra luggage racks on top so they can carry gas cans and shit.  On the weekends he and his trailer trash friends who pay him to modify these monstrosities, gather and weld,  drink beer and make all kinds of stupid noises coming from his house. My son did go and have words with him because the prick cleaned his yard and left all of his trash in a pile and it was windy that day and we wound up with his trash in our front yard.

Toyota Tacoma meme

My son (don’t ask me how) made the fucker come and pick up his trash and stood there over the guy (who is considerably smaller than my giant son at 6’1) while he picked up all of his yard waste from the front of our house.  All I heard after he was walking away was my son saying “Don’t fucking do it again” and RedNexican Trailer Trash Guy not once turning around,  walked into his house.  I’ve hated this guy since he moved in, as neighbors we all know each other and go out of our way to introduce ourselves to new neighbors.  When I and some other neighbors tried,  this asshole just ignored us and walked into his back yard.  So there are so many reasons to hate this mofo,  oh and I’m pretty sure this bastard killed my neighbors cat, Keanu.  Keanu was a huge lovable feline who was my cat’s BFF.  My Neighbor Laura was so distraught she got sick, she thinks RedNexican might have poisoned Keanu, therefore I hate this asshole.

Toyota Tacoma Willy Wonka Meme

Then I have Mr. and Mrs. USMC, a retired Marine and his wife who live across from RedNexican Trailer Trash Guy,  and across from me two house down on the opposite corner.  They are the sweetest couple I’ve ever met.  He served in Vietnam and retired from the Corps in 1986,  became a math teacher at a local high school and retired from there in 2003. They have a huge family and they are always over during football season.  The only thing bad about these neighbors are………….they’re Cowboys fans.

Dallas Cowboy meme

Then directly across from me I have Asshole Gary and his wife Ann, Asshole Gary got his name for just that,  being an asshole.  He and his wife do the most inane things like having their granddaughter’s birthday party in the fucking front yard!! Jumping balloon and all AND leaving the jumping balloon up for almost a week.  That is when the Huntress called the city compliance department letting them know they didn’t have a permit to have that thing up more than three days.  The Huntress knows her city ordinances dammit,  and if you have a huge castle shaped jumping balloon in your yard along with all the trash from that stupid party, I’m going to fucking report your dumbass!  Asshole Gary has no verbal filter,  and when I began to run outside I’d run by his house and he’d yell out “Hey, you’re getting in shape for your imaginary husband?” and he’d laugh to which I’d respond,  “Yes Gary, you prick, how about you go put on a t-shirt because your huge gut isn’t imaginary and all the neighbors get nauseated looking at you!”

Gary meme
No verbal filter Gary…..

They he’d get pissed,  seriously the asshole gave me looks after I’d respond to his comments and actually looked surprised…….now THAT’s a stupid person when they look at you when you insult THEM, not realizing what they said to you.  His wife isn’t so much annoying as…weird.  She has a life-size Elf On A Shelf she puts in the giant living room window during the holidays.  Which is really unsettling when you leave for work in the early morning hours and see that stupid, giant life-size,  child scamming, mind-fucking toy staring back at me while I get in my car to go to work.  I flipped-off that stupid giant toy every time I left work during the holidays.

Mr. Rogers meme

Then I have Opposite Andy, my neighbor in the back who uses his chimney during the summer which is odd enough and bbq’s in the dead of winter singing all the Triumph, Boston and .38 Special songs he can remember the words to.  He’s the owner of Rocco and Jerry the two German Shepard dogs my cat Charlie likes to taunt while sitting on the rock-wall that separates our back yards.  Charlie sits there on the wall, listening to the dogs bark their heads off,  all the while swinging his long tail back and forth as if bored by the dog’s reaction.  He has a ton of step-grandchildren, annoying step grandchildren at that.    Those little bastards constantly fling basket,  soccer,  base and footballs over my backyard fence.  I had two giant boxes of these toys I’ve donated to Goodwill because they wouldn’t come get them from my yard.  I think they’re afraid of me, which considering the situation is a good thing because they are brats with a capital B!

Strangle Thy Neighbor

Then on the left side of my house I have Laura and her husband Mario, I don’t have nicknames for them because they are my caring neighbors that have looked out for me and my house when I’m not here.  In return I do the same for them, they are a middle-aged couple with two adult daughters and two cats.  Their daughters are both married and live out of state so they live by themselves, and on occasion they have family over on the weekends to bbq in the backyard and invite me over to join.  I love them to death so therefore, no nicknames.

Laura Neighbor meme

Then I have Karaoke Asshole Singers who live right behind Laura and Mario, these pricks love to bring out their Karaoke machine in the middle of the week AND in the middle of the night and sing…..LOUDLY!  El Paso has a noise ordinance that you can’t have any loud music/noise after 1am.  But it’s a bitch to get that enforced, if you call the police, they never show, or the police dispatch will tell you that it’s not an emergency and they will get a police cruiser out “as soon as they can”  which means,  they don’t care.  I do realize that the police have better things to do but when you have a neighbor who doesn’t work and sings all night (and badly may I add) keeping the rest of us up during the week, one has to get creative.

Because the Huntress has many friends in law enforcement (no not because I’ve been arrested) and decided to call in a favor with one of them (I had no choice,  Karaoke Asshole Singer was getting out of hand).  So my friend James paid that neighbor a visit one night while he came to visit, James is a detective with the county Sheriff’s department.  I don’t know what was said or done but Karaoke Asshole Singer stopped singing after midnight, well at least during the week anyway.  Because of which Opposite Andy,  Laura and Mario thanked me,  I got a bottle of Tequila from Andy in appreciation.  Hey the Huntress does what she can to keep the peace in the neighborhood.

Karaoke meme

Then there is Faux Carry Bradshaw and her husband Mr. Small,  they live next door to me on the right.  FCB and Mr. Small are called so because they bought the house next door about a year and a half ago,  relocating from Alpine Texas.  At first she seemed like a nice enough person then she began to ignore me, and when I say ignore,  I was in no way going out of my way to talk to her.  But her husband Mr. Small always waves to say good morning or good afternoon,  and she did too at first.  Then she stopped,  I would wave and she’d just look at me, get in her car and drive away.  I thought to myself well that’s rude,  so I stopped and then I noticed she dressed like she was in Sex and the City.  Before I move on,  I know people think Sarah Jessica Parker’s character in that series is some kind of fashion icon.  But I beg to differ,  she had horrible fashion taste but that’s just me.

Carrie meme
Seriously, she works in a damned call center!!

That’s how FCB dresses,  mismatched outfits, shoes and wearing things like feathers and puffy scarves with so much bling it’s blinding.  The bitch works in a call center for God sake,  and dresses like she’s living in NYC??   She’s snobby and narcissistic thinking she’s “the” most beautiful woman on the block.  She began to run about the same time I did, and I’d pass her while she was “running” and think to myself, she’s not running for running sake.  She’s running to show off what she’s wearing.  I on the other hand run because I’m training for my very first run,  an 8K in April.  Hopefully it won’t get cancelled,  I’d be okay with it if they postponed it for later on this year because my goal was to run a 5K.  But I was stupidly convinced into running an 8K, which is a little over five miles.  Anyway,  FCB and Mr. Small live next to me and my cat Charlie and their Cat Grady fight all the time.

Smudge meme

I’m sure it’s because of Grady (Grady is a female) her having her owners narcissistic attitude as well.  And Charlie being, well my cat is putting Grady in her place.  Bringing her down to earth so to speak in a feline way, about her bad choices of cat fashion and running attire.  Who would have thought that I was already practicing social distancing with my annoying neighbors, eh?

Oscar the Grouch meme

Remember practice social distancing, wash your hands and stay safe everyone!

This is the Huntress, over and out!

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Officially Working From Home….Yes Actually Working.

So its official, our institution mandated that we all begin to work from home effective immediately.  Thursday was the first day of me working at home, which to be honest I didn’t think I was going to like.  Because of the fact that I don’t have a printer, I wasn’t going to have access to our shared drive where all the proposal files we’re all working on are shared and because I didn’t think I had it in me to actually “work” from home without my “life” getting in the way.  But there were some setbacks, first of all our department didn’t have enough laptops for everyone to use.  So, the alternative was to schlep home our all in one computers, which at first I was thinking to myself, are these people serious? These people meaning my director and the IT guys.

Drunk baby meme

Then when I was made clear that we would have to bring them, I realized that maybe working from home wasn’t a good idea.  This entire COVID-19 has made life crazy, but when you work in a medical school it can make life unbearable.  Because we found out that there were no protocols in place in case we had to actually work from home.  So since last Monday, our entire university and department have been trying to get this telecommuting thing going.  Social distancing has been a blessing for me at least, why?  Because I can wake up, take a shower, not put any makeup on, and work in my leggings or PJ’s in the comfort of my own home.  Also, because not once today have I heard gawddamned Baby Kermit gerp….NOT ONCE!!!!!

Sick coworker meme

I’ve eaten Fruity Pebbles at my desk while editing a huge proposal, I’ve had four cups of coffee with my favorite creamer without having to worry about someone else taking it from the communal fridge.

I’ve binge-watched episodes of Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown, if only to reconnect to someone I considered an old friend.  And I’ve danced around my living room watching Tiffany Haddish dance and curse in the film Girls Trip………… it’s called MULTITASKING.

Girls Trip meme

AND I’ve actually gotten a lot of work done because of these “mood breakers” as I call them.  Because when I get to the point that I’m just going to go over the edge with work.  I break that mood by doing something one can only do at home (like dance in your living room.)  I have caught up with all the archiving from previous proposals, I’ve caught up with my emails and I’m actually progressing on the proposals that are due next week.  So the way I think of it is, I may just ask to work from home permanently…

Cat working from home Pic

Well that is if I don’t get the job I applied for with JP’s department that is, because I’ve realize just how distracting working in a conventional office is.  People walking in and out of my office, popping in without notice, all the other people talking extremely loud.  Not to mention the ungodly noises that idiot Baby Kermit makes.  My pregnant, and now micromanaging supervisor constantly coming in and asking me to re-do things her way, instead of how I normally do them.  She wasn’t like this for the entire two years I’ve been here until she got preggers.

Mood Swings meme

Yes, I’m blaming her constant mood swings, and sudden micromanaging on that little parasite she’s carrying at the moment.  But I digress, realizing that self-imposed isolation isn’t as bad as people think, if it is for our health.  What I don’t take kindly to are the people over exaggerate things to the point of hysteria OR the people who don’t take this situation seriously.

And I will almost always make my sentiments known if I encounter either, because if you’re a professional, in this case a PhD and consider yourself “educated” and are dismissive of the current climate regarding COVID-19, then you should be bound, gagged and beaten with tube socks containing large bars of soap until you come to your senses.  This is the case with my friend Veronica’s boss, a PhD, and as Phoebe from Friends once said “You’re not a ‘real’ doctor.”

Friends real doctor meme

In this situation, I’m going to have to agree, just because you have a PhD doesn’t mean your smart, and believe me I’ve dealt with plenty of PhD’s that have a god complex and they aren’t M.D’s who, have the experience and skill to save lives, and they, at times have the biggest God complex’s I’ve seen.  This dumb bitch is whining because she can’t “understand” why she can’t travel, and attend all the conferences she paid for almost a year prior.  I’m thinking to myself, oh if only I could punch a bitch……

These are the kind of stupid people who spread viruses like these, the so-called “smart, educated” people who don’t believe in washing their hands, or listen to a university’s work from home protocols, and travel restrictions.  They’re so smart, they’re stupid kind of smart.   And these are the people that need to be volun-told they needs to be self quarantined for other peoples sake, not their own.  Gawddamen, it amazes me how stupid people can be at times.

Random Thoughts from the Huntress

I remember my parent’s watching Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show when I was a kid.  But because I was so young, I didn’t get many of the jokes.  But now as adult, I can honestly say some of his shit is hilarious.  I’ve been watching CNN and then commercials for a series about late night shows is going to air, and they have Johnny Carson portraying the Great Carnac, below is the meme of the skit that had me laughing out loud this morning, enjoy!

Sis Boom Bah

This is the Huntress, stay safe my fellow bloggers, over and out!

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The Corona-virus Stupoacalypse, Panic, Fear, Myths And Bullfrog Gerping….

I’m going to be honest here, this post WAS NOT going to be about the CORVID-19 and the mass hysteria and now the Stupocalypse that it’s caused.  Because lets face it, if this were the end of the world as we know it, the stupid people hoarding toilet paper, hand sanitizer and Clorox will be the very first to go.  Those of us who were smart enough not to panic because we weighed the facts over myth and panic, can then wait for the Walking Stupid to die and we can raid their homes for the TP, hand sanitizer and Clorox for ourselves.   I’m talking the cream of the crop stupid, check out this news report from Charlotte, North Carolina warning people NOT to drink bleach!  Seriously, it would be the end of civilization as we know it if we had to depend on the Walking Stupid (who drink bleach apparently).  To which I’m going to include the cable media, it’s ridiculous how bad they over-exaggerate things.  Okay yes they do have informative things to offer, but I digress….

Back to the current social and medical conditions affecting our country, because I work in a medical scho