Money For Nothing and My Checks for Free…….For Now

Since they gave me notice that I would be RIF’d and my last day here would be on October 22^nd, I’ve been coming into work to find that things are slowly being changed over to the “new” backstabber who will be helping my now, soon to be former VP.   I’ve lost all access to all the calendars of the people I was helping, so now I can’t see anything.  Is that good or bad? Good I think because I’m here in my soon to be former office, making online applications to different places and taking my sweet time to do absolutely NOTHING.  Impostor has begun to take appointments for my skeletonized, leathery faced hag of a VP.  They meet in the VP’s office which is next to mine and then they close the doors to whisper about me I’m sure.  Does that make me paranoid? Actually no, because even with the door closed I can hear everything they say because these offices are so badly built, the walls so thin one can hear every single audible word they say. 

But, I’ve done my job to the best of my ability, and I can honestly say that I have not sabotaged anything or anyone here.  As much as I’d love to, I’m not because unlike everyone that works in this Godforsaken place, I have integrity.   Fake Supervisor has been out of town attending an institutional values conference, talk about hypocrisy, the mere fact that fat bitch has any values is laughable!  I heard that she was having issues with connecting flights, that’s what Impostor said.  I’m sure they finally got a cargo plane to take her to where she was going.  Again, I don’t fat shame because I have a son who is on the “fluffy” side, and I am sensitive to that fact.  But Fake Supervisor is a horrid person all around and she, for some reason perceives she’s untouchable.  And maybe she is because President Cutie Pie thinks she’s doing a spectacular job and doesn’t question anything she does.  She’s a control freak with a huge (and I mean huge) God complex who wants to be in charge of everything but isn’t a leader in anyway.

So, I, Impostor #2 and Fake Dolly have formed an alliance since we’ve found out each other’s displeasure of this particular workplace. We’ve had a couple of Friday night, girl’s night, alcohol induced bitch fests about work, and the people within this office. We’ve had a blast and believe it or not the fact that we can talk, complain and laugh about what we individually go through at work is like therapy. We feel better afterwards and the stress doesn’t seem so bad. We bitch about how they preach values and teamwork and inclusiveness, but do the exact opposite of all these things. Fake Dolly is applying internally as well, and I hope she finds something soon. Because what she says about dealing with Fake Roseanne is just fucking absurd. Fake Roseanne does next to nothing, she’s a complete waste of space and thinks she’s Fake Dolly’s supervisor. Fake Roseanne gets on my fucking nerves, when you tell her to do something, she complains about it. She’s told Impostor that she wants to be a “boss” but has only a high school education, no tack, initiative, or even communication skills. The bitch is useless, but yet she’s a favorite as well, her and Impostor are protected. It’s like working with the damned mafia here, if you don’t kiss Fake Supervisor’s ring (or big fat lardy ass) you don’t get anything. And Fake Dolly, Impostor #2 and I are NOT ass kissing hypocrites.

Finding Little Details In Fine Print

After I was given my RIF letter, I went home and took it out of my purse and read it at least five times. I still couldn’t believe that these two bitches who control this office made up such a lame excuse that the VP I worked for didn’t have enough work for me. But then I realized the letter referenced a couple of policies that HR had regarding employee’s who’ve been RIF’d. So when I came back the next day I began looking through all 107 HR polices to find the overlooked fine print of the policy for employees let go due to a reduction in force.

If my suspicions are correct what Fake Supervisor and my soon to be former leathery hag VP are trying to do is give Impostor my job. Something tells me that the new VP for Finance/CFO may be bringing her own assistant and this is just a way of ensuring Imposters job. But, because I worked in research, I am thorough with policies, guidelines and such. And I will make sure that whatever it is that I am being made a part of will be enforced. That is if I don’t have a job within the period that the policy states, because why would I want to continue working here right? Some may think, enforce this policy out of spite and I’d have to agree but only to make their lives hell after the fact. And only if I haven’t found a job because let’s face it I need a job and ASAP. Anything is better than working here, my leathery faced boss takes an entire hour out of her day to take a Spanish lesson. I can hear her broken Spanish through the paper thin walls, it’s like nails on a fucking chalkboard.

Applications Everywhere

Since I found out I’m being let go, I’ve made my days in this troll-hole productive with the fact that I am applying wherever I can. Not just for any job mind you, but for jobs that I know I’m experienced at and that are consistent with my education as well. I’ve applied internally and with my former university and the City. So with my luck I hope to find something soon so that I can finally say a big old fuck you to this place and the hypocritical, lying, manipulative, two faced motherfuckers that work here! Yesterday my soon to be former VP approached me to see if I’d like for her to write me a letter of recommendation. What could I say? I couldn’t very well tell her no even though I wanted to, but if I keep applying within this university her letter would maybe open a couple of doors. Even with this I feel like a hypocrite and that makes me feel….well like YUCK!

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”