A New Year Begins…….Again

It’s only one week into the new year and thus far it feels like it’s still 2022.  Okay maybe not for everyone but for me, it sure as hell does.  I got sick over the Christmas holiday, I got one bad motherfucker of a cold.  I went to the Urgent Care near my house and they did a rapid COVID test and when that came back negative they did a Flu swab and that came back negative as well.  I mean it might as well have been the flu the way I felt.  So, needless to say I skipped Christmas with my boys, mom and brother to spare them getting whatever bug I had.  They spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day at my son’s house, while I slept most of the day at mine.  I had begun to prep all the food I was going to cook for Christmas lunch but had to send that ahead with my son who lives with me so he and my oldest could finalize the cooking.  I was miserable for a week having this cold, which oddly enough included fever and going in and out of consciousness.  Oh well, what can I say?  At least I’m alive in 2023, for how long? I couldn’t say but at least I’m here now. 

Christmas Gifts That Keep On Giving

Even though I wasn’t able to spend the day with my family, my boys are kind and good souls that I love dearly. This year I didn’t get gifts that were things I wanted, they were things I needed. My blender of 17 years gave out on me during the summer. I tell you things don’t last like they use to (yes, I’m being sarcastic.) My mom and my son got me some heavy-duty blenders, so now I have two of them in case one breaks down. I used one of my two new blenders to make a delicious holiday margarita, I got this from my dear friend River’s blog, but now I can’t find the post so, take my word for it they were delicious.

The week before Christmas I and my boys went down to my mom’s house to try and make a couple of dozen tamales.  I said try because I hadn’t made tamales in more than two decades but I’m amazed at the things one remembers.  My mom directed our efforts while I prepped and showed my boys how to make them.  It took us about 6 hours but we made 6 dozen tamales and they came out delicious and wonderfully nostalgic.  I’m proud of myself and my boys because we all decided to undertake this task as well as to sit there with my mother as she gave me her recipe for the tamale filing and how to make sure the dough comes out right.  I’ve been writing down a lot of her recipes because I’m very aware that I have a few precious years left with her and this is something I want to pass onto my boys.  She is/was a terrific cook and I’m so glad I got to learn from her.

Anyway, back to my Christmas gifts, my youngest gave me a dash-cam for my car.  I think somewhere, sometime last year I had mentioned I wanted one since I drive though a mountain pass into another state for work now.  I just thought this would help in case I ever found myself in a situation that needed an insurance claim or whatnot.  My middle son, the one that lives with me gifted me a Keurig coffee machine and an autographed copy of Broken, from one of my favorite authors, Jenny Lawson. 

Hmmm….I wonder if she’s talked to my friend Suzanne about me???

On Wednesday after the weekend of Christmas, my soon took me to Walmart to go buy some K-Cups (still sick but wearing a mask) for my brand spanking new machine.  But now I realize he might have had ulterior motives for buying the Keurig machine.  And that’s for him to be able to make himself coffee every morning without making an entire pot.  He bought me my Espresso cups and a toasted coconut coffee I’d been wanting to taste for a while now.  But he also bought himself about four boxes of K-Cups of his own liking.  Well played son, well played.

The Grinch Who Stole My Life

I blame my doctor, if she hadn’t pointed out that all of my bloodwork indicated I had hit menopause I don’t think my frame of mind would be where it’s at.  I’m tired all the time, I’ve got a significantly shorter fuse (than I already had so what does that say?) and I lack motivation to do what I so enjoyed before I found out I had this Grinchy, Bitchiness called menopause.  I use to like to swim, run and do stuff around my semi-new house.  Now, I can barely find the energy to get out of bed and come to work.  I use to enjoy working outside my house to try and get a beautiful yard with flowers and stuff.  And now I grunt every time I drive into my driveway as I stare at my garage door where my car should be.  Instead my garage is now full of my son’s crap stuff where my car should be parked every night. 

This is unfair that I should feel burnout from this “thing” that women have to suffer through, in addition to the pain of childbirth, rearing, marriage, divorce and all the other bullshit that Mother Nature has decided we should shoulder the…..okay I’m getting off course.  Anyway, I’m trying very hard to find motivation to return to my normal routine of running and swimming.  This isn’t a new year type of resolution, this is a trying to get my life back determination in spite of how I feel physically and mentally.  I never in my life thought that I’d feel this way, even when I knew menopause was eminent in my youth.  I watched my mother go through the most horrible menopause ever, she was mean, sadistic, angry at her children, her husband then, she’d cry like all the time.  And we didn’t know what was going on, so now I find myself here in this state and although the only major setbacks are fatigue and anger I still feel like I shouldn’t have to go through this bullshit.

Life Insurance Bastards

Everywhere I’ve worked I’ve always made sure and taken advantage of the life insurance my employment offers.  It’s for my kids, to make sure that if anything happens to me they don’t have to worry about paying what’s left of my expenses.  As well as leaving them something to help them financially.  When I got hired I opted for the supplemental life insurance and was okay with flipping for the extra $38 dollars every pay check to make sure that I had enough to cover my final expenses and to pay off my house if I kicked the bucket in the near future.  Well because they ask for a list of medications on the initial application form, that was enough for the stupid life insurance company to question me for three months over my supposed diabetes.  Just to be clear, I DON’T HAVE DIABETES YOU INSURANCE ASSHOLES!!  I’ve gone around and around with the insurance company over this, after I’d answer their supplemental questionnaire, they’d send me more forms to fill out. 

Insurance Company: So, since you take metformin, how long have you had diabetes?

Me: I don’t have diabetes, I take if for insulin resistance

Insurance Company:  Since you have insulin resistance, how long have you been diabetic?

Me: I’m not diabetic, I’m insulin resistant.

Insurance Company: Isn’t it the same thing?

Me: Uh, no my A1C’s are normal

Insurance Company: How long have they been normal?

Me: All my FUCKING LIFE!

Insurance Company: You need to fill out additional forms

After three entire months of this shit I finally got the notification from the stupid life insurance company that I was approved for my life insurance.  Along with a letter apologizing for taking so long because of the fact that since I take diabetic medications they had to “investigate further” to make sure I wasn’t high risk.  This only happened after I had to have my PCP send me the latest lab results that included my normal A1C count and showing that I was taking metformin for insulin resistance.  To which I asked my doctor if he could please explain the difference between insulin resistance and diabetes.   You know, for clarification since apparently no one at the damned life insurance company knows the difference.

So, after I submitted my lab results I was approved for life insurance, and it only took three and a half months. It occurred to me that these stupid people at the life insurance company should have been asking different questions, like if I have anger management issues. This way they could maybe shorten their annoying process of asking so MANY GODDAMNED QUESTIONS!!!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

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