Tap Dancing on A Land Mind or How to Dance Like No One’s Watching

I’m on my second month at my job at Chaos (yes that was a Get Smart reference) because that’s exactly what it’s been like working here.  Except for the supersonic elevator that goes up and down in the film (not the series) because it’s fucking slow as hell and I get down the three flights of stairs faster than the elevator.  Our second in command whom I’ll refer to as Skinner (the chef from the film Ratatouille) because that’s exactly what he’s like.  A short, ill tempered, power hungry little man with a huge ego and Napoleon complex.  Who makes us attend weekly department meetings only to hear himself talk.  Which by the way is like nails on a goddamned chalk board because 1) he has a thick Mexican accent and 2) because he asks people questions and then talks over them to answer his own question. 

 Skinner loves to hear himself talk and his favorite words are “codify” “solidify” “team effort” and “resiliency” which he uses all out of context.  I mute him while on these virtual meetings so I can actually do some work.  My boss calls him Megamind but I’ll call him Skinner because the fucker is just like that short little chef who wants to be in control at all times.  He sits at his office at home because we’re all still on a hybrid schedule only going in once a week, with pictures of the American founders signing the Declaration of Independence on his wall and has mini statues of Greek gods on his shelves instead of books on vocabulary and communication.  Which let’s face it he desperately needs to read, instead he uses visuals like copies of old Americana portraits and small statues of gods to make everyone think he’s as smart as he thinks he is.  Which everyone knows he’s not because of his demeanor and he’s already rubbed me the wrong way because he talks down to everyone including my direct supervisor.  He’s a fucking kid just out of college and completely wet behind the ears who thinks just because of his title he should act like a complete asshole.

Other Things Happening In My Life

I’ve heard so many things about Downton Abbey but haven’t really ever been interested in actually watching the series.  That is until last week when everyone at work was told to stay home until the AC at the old ass building we work in has been fixed.  It’s a damned hot house in there and the AC only works on one side of the building and wouldn’t you know it, it’s not the side I work in.  I was baking like a fucking toasted cheeser last week at work and at 2:30pm I called my boss who was working from home to tell him I was out of there.   I came home logged on to my work computer and sat on the couch to watch t.v.   I came across Downton Abbey on BBC America and watched the first episode (not the first episode of the series) but my very first episode and I was so intrigued that I binged watched the entire season 3 and then have gone back to watch the first and second seasons non-stop.  Who knew I’d love this series as much as Ted Lasso?  But I do and I’m still watching it right now, yes, I’m at home “working” but watching Downton Abbey and contemplating having afternoon tea and some tea sandwiches of pimento cheese, yes not very British but I’m in Texas so sue me.  Pimento cheese was one of the first things I learned to make as a girl growing up, no it wasn’t very Hispanic/Latin.  My mom taught me, and she learned from the white ranchers’ wives she worked with babysitting for them as a teenager.  These white ladies came from East Texas and I’m sure they weren’t too happy about being uprooted and brought to far Southwest end of the state, so they adapted.  Believe me it’s delicious and I love it.

Returning to the Treadmill

No technically not a treadmill but this is how I felt last week

I’ve started once again to get back into shape since I’ve been absent in my workout routine since February when everything hit the fan with my dad, my house and well everything.  Let’s just say this year has been a clusterfuck train wreck of a year for me and my family.   So I picked up where I left off or so I tried realizing I couldn’t run my 5K like I had prior and have had to start at walking the distance first.  Then my yoga routine also fell by the wayside where I’ve had to do the same, but I’m a week in and I hope to get back to where I was back in 2020. 

What the FUCK Do YOU MEAN MY HOUSE IS WORTH $180K?!?!?!?

One day a couple of weeks ago I sauntered out to get the mail and got a letter from my friendly neighborhood appraisal district telling me that they are valuing my home at $180K.  Which means that the taxes on my home will go up in the 2022 tax year!! Those motherfuckers are trying to give all the homeowners the shaft and I’m not going to take it!! So, what did I do?? I filed a fucking protest and had plenty of evidence to plead and prove my case.  They gave me an appointment to go before the appraisal board and on that day, I showed up with all my files, pictures, previous appraisals that I got off of their website and a comparable market analysis my realtor JMR provided to me. 

I waited patiently as I was one of about 30 people there and when it was my turn, I went up front to present my case.  The appraisal board is a committee of five people four men and one woman, which is extremely disproportionate.  They asked me why I thought their appraisal of my home is wrong, I began with these appraisals in question were done on a blanket type of program.  They didn’t really do them according to each home’s individual assessment.  I pulled up all the photos of the in-ground pool filled with dirt and rocks.  The electrical panel in the garage that needs to be updated, the garage door jambs that are rotting from the floor because water pools at the door when it rains.  The makeshift, poorly poured concrete in the back yard, the cracks in the brick on the side of my house, the small concrete plug that is up against the back to prevent water from pooling and rotting the wood.  I had tons of pictures and written information that I presented.  To say the least I went in completely prepared to debate any of the board members that might have found their appraisal to be accurate. Then after I had finished my 25-minute presentation, I thanked them for the opportunity to present and sat back down.  Before they called the next person, they called me up to tell me that they would offer me a settlement of $141K instead of the proposed $136K I had presented to them.  I quickly accepted and left happy that I didn’t have to pay taxes on a home appraised at $180K.  I rest my case!

Continuing Obsession with Coconut Cake

Yes, I’m still continuing my ever-evolving coconut cake recipe and I think I’ve come to my final and yet brilliant adaptation to it.  It’s quite simple really and I love the fact that it actually tastes like coconut, to which I still devotedly add my chocolate ganache sauce on the side.  The recipe is simple really and I’ve yet to try it in round 8” cake pans.  I will this weekend, but since this has been purely experimental for taste I’ve used an 8” rectangular baking dish and it still comes out delish!  Recipe is as follows:

• 1 box white cake mix
• 1 can coconut milk
• 1 can cream of coconut
• 3 eggs
• ¼ cup vegetable oil
• 1 tub of Cool Whip

Prepare cake mix as per the instructions on the box, except instead of water, use the can of coconut milk.  Follow baking instructions on the box and when the cake is done leave it to cool slightly.  Heat cream of coconut for about 45 seconds in the microwave, stir to mix thoroughly.  While the cake still warm, poke holes in it with a fork, end of a wooden spoon or chopstick and pour cream of coconut over the entire cake.  Let set in the fridge for about an hour then frost with whipped topping.  Now this topping is purely optional and for me it’s the best option since it’s not heavy or too sweet for me.  In spite of the cream of coconut on the cake, it’s not overly sweet or mushy either.  It’s perfect for the chocolate sauce on the side, okay let’s face it this cake is only a vehicle for the dammed chocolate sauce.  Since I can’t drink this chocolate sauce out of a wine glass this is the best I can do. Gee maybe I should cut down on the cake and put more effort on the treadmill? Ppffttt…….hell to the no!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”