I wanted to wait a couple of weeks before I posted anything about some of the people I work with at my new job, you know to get a feel for my new coworkers. But, I can’t wait as first impressions for me are extremely important because it can make or break a good working relationship. So on with the show!
My new boss is awesome, he’s straightforward, blunt and comical. We have that in common I think, but then I found out he’s only been here since February 7th and I am the first person he hired. So on Monday it was my first day at work and I had to be there in person to meet with him and the compliance specialist that will be training me. He kind of inherited her from the two pervious supervisors. But talk about……………wanting to smack this bitch in the face! I’m going to call her Fake Jackie after Roseanne Barrs TV sister Jackie.
Because she doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up and I’m still trying to find out exactly what she does. Anyway, when I got there to meet my boss in person for the first time we went to our designated area where our cubicles are. As far as cubicles go they are huge, almost as big as an office. But I’ve learned that cubicles are no where nearly as private as we’d like. I’ve refrained from talking loud on the phone or to anyone in person but not Fake Jackie though. More on that in a second, on to Fake Blanche Deveroux (I might have used this name before but this is a new coworker so we’ll just keep it)…..she’s our Director and oversees our entire department. We got there on Monday and my boss had a call from his boss that we had to go down to a “meeting” at one of the local community centers. Mind you this bitch is younger than I am, and with her being a director you’d think she’d know better than to flaunt her obvious riches in a low income people.
Well being new I just followed my boss and Fake Jackie and he drove us to the community center. Come to find out it wasn’t a meeting really but a celebration of local volunteers for AmeriCorp. We were in the heart of the poorest community in the city. People here live in government housing, or “the projects” and our director showed up in a Prada dress with her Michael Kors purse and Christian Louboutin red soled heels. My boss and I were in shocked and embarrassed that she was going to speak in the poorest neighborhoods in the city and showing off her obvious wealth. We stayed all through the presentation (45 mins of it) of her talking all about herself. Only ten minutes speaking and recognizing the volunteers. She’s younger than I am I can plainly see that, but she lacks any kind of empathy or a social skill set that is appropriate for whatever occasion comes up……I was appalled. My shock was obvious and on the drive back, my boss voiced his displeasure. The Fake Jackie chimed in saying that Fake Blanche loves attention, she has to be the center of everything the department does. I think we both collectively rolled our eyes and she continued to say that when Fake Blanche got there she had been demoted from her previous job at the city. We both laughed and he said it didn’t surprise him one bit. Anyway we get back to the office and he asks us to meet with him and Fake Jackie goes off and starts complaining about how the department works, how slow everything is, how she’s only there until she hits retirement age and then she’s gone.
To be fair my boss told me the same thing but that won’t be for another 7 years. Then she says how hypocritical everything is there. Which she adds this “I’m a civil servant, so I can’t get fired. But you two are contract employees and if you get on someones bad side, with a snap of their fingers your gone.” I looked at my boss and he looked at her and whispered “You know, I don’t know what your previous supervisor was like but don’t be telling the other new employees this when they start okay?” She looked surprised at his comment…..I mean seriously the bitch looked shocked. I was thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into? When she left, my boss called me into his cubicle and we had a long conversation about Fake Jackie. Very, very quietly of course and he reassured me that everything will be okay and not to listen to her. He also said “Look kid (yes he called me kid) I know your not making what you were at your other place of employment. But, just make it past your six months and you can apply for another position within the city that has a higher salary. I don’t really want to encourage you because your a smart cookie and I think you’d do a really good job here. But, I also know that one can only take so much bullshit before you’ve had enough.” I admired his honesty and took his advice and mulled it over a bit. I mean what else can I really do? I’m stuck here until I can see I like the job or keep applying for other positions outside the city. Which I have been doing since I found out what my salary was going to be.
Now I have to deal with Fake Jackie and Fake Blanche to boot? I told my boss that I’d stick it out until my six months or a better opportunity came my way outside the city. He sighed and said “I was afraid you’d say that but I completely understand. In the mean time, it looks and sounds like we’ll work great together. But can you please stay until you complete New Employee Orientation?” We laughed as we walked to the parking lot together, got in our cars and went our separate ways to work from home. This far this is only my first day…..FUCK MY LIFE.
Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”