Some People Just Boggle The Mind

As I wait for a solid start date from the City, I’m still trying to get a routine going because lets face it, right now it’s nothing but one day after another that seem to blur into each other. I”m trying to figure out how this entire working from home thing is going to work for me. Because I’ve been home for four and a half months and going totally fucking stir crazy here. But, I suppose that working from home is different than just “staying” home and watching hour upon hour of Fixer Upper while eating pint after pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Well….on with the show…

A few weeks back I had a friend that I hasn’t talk to or seen since I left the university I was at prior to the University of Hell. He was in the purchasing department and I working with him a lot when I was in the Department of Civil Engineering. I knew him for as long as I had been there and knew he had retired in 2015. He use to text me on holiday’s and stuff to wish me Merry Christmas or whatever and that was the end of that. A couple of weeks ago he texts me to say hi. I text him back to say likewise and that I hoped he was doing well. That seemed to open a floodgate of emotions for the dude and the next thing I know he calls me which I found weird because he’d never called me to talk before. I answer thinking it was just a friendly call since he knew I was out of work and stuff so we talked awhile (3 hours to be exact) because I guess he felt comfortable enough to tell me he was getting a divorce because his wife of 44 years cheated on him with a former high school classmate she reconnected with at a high school reunion.

So lets just say that I was his soundboard for those three hours of him telling me what happened and how long it happened and listening to him cry almost the whole time. I listened, gave some advice and then he said he felt better about letting it all out and we hung up. But afterwards I was completely drained emotionally. And not soon after we hung up his incessant text began, I was like what the fuck is going on here?!?! I would sometimes answer his texts and other times I’d ignore them but I kept thinking why the fuck is this guy sinking his emotional hooks into me?

Then I found my answer, he text me to see if I could look at his resume because a mutual friend of ours told him about a position at the University of Hell she thought he’d be a good fit for and he wanted to apply. I said yes not knowing just how much this emotional anchor was going to bother the fuck out of me for the last week or so. So he sent me his resume and cover letter and it was a fucking mess, I asked him if I could change some things and he said of course. So I did and sent them back to him and told him to apply as quickly as he could because the job postings at UOH only stay on for five days. He said he would, then literally half an hour later he calls me because he said he’s lost navigating the application portal…..FUCK MY LIFE!!!

So I walked him through it and he thanked me profusely and we hung up. Then the next day he text me that he wanted to take me to dinner and this was the last straw. After years of therapy with Teri I knew how to spot an emotional vampire ten miles away. I also knew that his not yet finalized divorce was playing a factor in all of this. Before I could respond to his dinner text he told me he was going to take me somewhere fancy and that I should (and I quote) “dress to the 9’s” That was it, I was done because I hadn’t seen this man in over eight years and he’s already acting like we’ve never lost touch.

I thought I’m not going to answer him because this situation is just too emotionally charged right now and I have to admit that someone that jumps the gun that way tends to set off my anger very easily. So I didn’t, then this morning I get a text from him telling me that he’s sorry about moving fast but that he’s alway thought I was attractive and that I speak my mind and “loved” that about me. He also said that he wanted to take me to dinner so he could ask if we “could date.” Before I go on I should mention that during his three hour emotional bitch-fest he told me he had ED (erectile dysfunction) not that there’s anything wrong with that but I should also mention that he’s 71 years old. Who say’s that to someone who you haven’t talked to in years?!?!?! It was TMI for sure but that’s not something you just throw out in a conversation with someone that isn’t and never has been close to you! I’ve always been attracted to older men, but my cut off is ten years older than me, he’s 71 and is just not what I am looking for because he wants to be taken care of, he wants to know someone is going to be there to take his ex-wives place, no thank you. And I’m also not looking for someone who still has feeling for his stupid ex-wife and is emotionally, mentally and physically insecure. He has no balls, no pun intended there but I could hear it in his voice and how he described his relationship with his ex to me. She dominated every aspect of his life and that’s a huge train wreck waiting to happen but not at this station!

I took all I had to text him (not call him) that this wasn’t a good idea and that I had been in therapy for years and recognized that he wanted to take me out and asked me to dress up for a reason. I told him that I knew he was going to take me somewhere that he and his ex frequented where people he knew would see us. And then report back to his ex about him being there with a much younger (not to mention totally stunning in every which way) woman so that this “news” would get back to her. There was text silence for almost four hours and he finally came clean, he asked me how I knew? I told him I had already been there after years of therapy and being on my own to figure out I deserved better. I also told him he needed to be alone and embrace his independence before he could date someone new or else he’d be bringing all his emotional baggage from his marriage breakdown into a new relationship with him. I told him that I thought it best if we didn’t keep in touch until he figured out how to love himself and be alone for a while. The response I got? “I can’t be alone, I don’t know how and I’m afraid to.”

Lets just say I didn’t answer and blocked him from my phone because I don’t need to be ANYONE’s consolation prize, and that’s where this was all headed. Not to mention he needs way more therapy than he thinks he does and I’m not sure if it will help in the long run either. He’s too use to being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. That’s not the kind of man I want or need in my life.

I’ll just let Sherrie sing about this….you go girl!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”