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Some People Just Boggle The Mind

As I wait for a solid start date from the City, I’m still trying to get a routine going because lets face it, right now it’s nothing but one day after another that seem to blur into each other. I”m trying to figure out how this entire working from home thing is going to work for me. Because I’ve been home for four and a half months and going totally fucking stir crazy here. But, I suppose that working from home is different than just “staying” home and watching hour upon hour of Fixer Upper while eating pint after pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Well….on with the show…

A few weeks back I had a friend that I hasn’t talk to or seen since I left the university I was at prior to the University of Hell. He was in the purchasing department and I working with him a lot when I was in the Department of Civil Engineering. I knew him for as long as I had been there and knew he had retired in 2015. He use to text me on holiday’s and stuff to wish me Merry Christmas or whatever and that was the end of that. A couple of weeks ago he texts me to say hi. I text him back to say likewise and that I hoped he was doing well. That seemed to open a floodgate of emotions for the dude and the next thing I know he calls me which I found weird because he’d never called me to talk before. I answer thinking it was just a friendly call since he knew I was out of work and stuff so we talked awhile (3 hours to be exact) because I guess he felt comfortable enough to tell me he was getting a divorce because his wife of 44 years cheated on him with a former high school classmate she reconnected with at a high school reunion.

So lets just say that I was his soundboard for those three hours of him telling me what happened and how long it happened and listening to him cry almost the whole time. I listened, gave some advice and then he said he felt better about letting it all out and we hung up. But afterwards I was completely drained emotionally. And not soon after we hung up his incessant text began, I was like what the fuck is going on here?!?! I would sometimes answer his texts and other times I’d ignore them but I kept thinking why the fuck is this guy sinking his emotional hooks into me?

Then I found my answer, he text me to see if I could look at his resume because a mutual friend of ours told him about a position at the University of Hell she thought he’d be a good fit for and he wanted to apply. I said yes not knowing just how much this emotional anchor was going to bother the fuck out of me for the last week or so. So he sent me his resume and cover letter and it was a fucking mess, I asked him if I could change some things and he said of course. So I did and sent them back to him and told him to apply as quickly as he could because the job postings at UOH only stay on for five days. He said he would, then literally half an hour later he calls me because he said he’s lost navigating the application portal…..FUCK MY LIFE!!!

So I walked him through it and he thanked me profusely and we hung up. Then the next day he text me that he wanted to take me to dinner and this was the last straw. After years of therapy with Teri I knew how to spot an emotional vampire ten miles away. I also knew that his not yet finalized divorce was playing a factor in all of this. Before I could respond to his dinner text he told me he was going to take me somewhere fancy and that I should (and I quote) “dress to the 9’s” That was it, I was done because I hadn’t seen this man in over eight years and he’s already acting like we’ve never lost touch.

I thought I’m not going to answer him because this situation is just too emotionally charged right now and I have to admit that someone that jumps the gun that way tends to set off my anger very easily. So I didn’t, then this morning I get a text from him telling me that he’s sorry about moving fast but that he’s alway thought I was attractive and that I speak my mind and “loved” that about me. He also said that he wanted to take me to dinner so he could ask if we “could date.” Before I go on I should mention that during his three hour emotional bitch-fest he told me he had ED (erectile dysfunction) not that there’s anything wrong with that but I should also mention that he’s 71 years old. Who say’s that to someone who you haven’t talked to in years?!?!?! It was TMI for sure but that’s not something you just throw out in a conversation with someone that isn’t and never has been close to you! I’ve always been attracted to older men, but my cut off is ten years older than me, he’s 71 and is just not what I am looking for because he wants to be taken care of, he wants to know someone is going to be there to take his ex-wives place, no thank you. And I’m also not looking for someone who still has feeling for his stupid ex-wife and is emotionally, mentally and physically insecure. He has no balls, no pun intended there but I could hear it in his voice and how he described his relationship with his ex to me. She dominated every aspect of his life and that’s a huge train wreck waiting to happen but not at this station!

I took all I had to text him (not call him) that this wasn’t a good idea and that I had been in therapy for years and recognized that he wanted to take me out and asked me to dress up for a reason. I told him that I knew he was going to take me somewhere that he and his ex frequented where people he knew would see us. And then report back to his ex about him being there with a much younger (not to mention totally stunning in every which way) woman so that this “news” would get back to her. There was text silence for almost four hours and he finally came clean, he asked me how I knew? I told him I had already been there after years of therapy and being on my own to figure out I deserved better. I also told him he needed to be alone and embrace his independence before he could date someone new or else he’d be bringing all his emotional baggage from his marriage breakdown into a new relationship with him. I told him that I thought it best if we didn’t keep in touch until he figured out how to love himself and be alone for a while. The response I got? “I can’t be alone, I don’t know how and I’m afraid to.”

Lets just say I didn’t answer and blocked him from my phone because I don’t need to be ANYONE’s consolation prize, and that’s where this was all headed. Not to mention he needs way more therapy than he thinks he does and I’m not sure if it will help in the long run either. He’s too use to being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. That’s not the kind of man I want or need in my life.

I’ll just let Sherrie sing about this….you go girl!

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

26 thoughts on “Some People Just Boggle The Mind

    1. Don’t say that! Lol
      But I’m not one to set someone like him straight and in a direct way of I had to. It was just too much too fast and too weird all at once. Talk about emotional overload, and o hadn’t seen or talked to the dude in over 6 years or so. Like where dis he think this could come on all of a sudden? Ugh….I swear.


  1. Wow, you did dodge a bullet with this one! Of course, you could always have replied that you got a new job and were too busy trying to figure it out to start a relationship – even one you knew was never going to float. As an aside, I don’t know how a 71 year old is going to get a job that could be filled by a youngster who’s more equipped to deal with today’s technology – especially since he couldn’t figure out how to send in his resume in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😝….I know right? But it’s in purchasing and they use the same system as the other university. Still, it makes you wonder how he could pull it off even if he did get the job.


  2. Wow! You have to learn to happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else or else you are just getting a dependency. I may have the opposite problem as I am happy to be with nobody but myself for days on end.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are a nice person . I’m glad you finally cut him off and that you told him the reason. Probably no one has ever been honest with him before, or at least not like that . Thank God for your therapist! Emotional vampires 🤪ugh! I’m too old for that now .

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I used to be that guy, but that was forty years ago (Holy shit!). I’ve been married for thirty-six years in June, good and bad. Somewhere along the way I happened upon this aphorism that has helped me a lot with keeping things in perspective. It’s a rusty old saw that still cuts for anyone who wants to pick it up. “If you want the woman of your dreams, you must be the man of hers.” Good post, I feel better already.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kenny for sharing your experience. But I think first one needs to want to change. He still seems to want to hold onto someone who has obviously moved on. I’m too strong a woman to “retrain” someone whose been whipped by a someone else. And, you just can’t ask someone to date, there are a lot of factors, like attraction. Intellectual, mental, emotional and physical and I’m not any of those with someone I hadn’t seen or talked to in 8 years…🤨

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve spent a fair amount of time on the couch and I know what “Thank you for sharing…” means most of the time. Can’t say I blame you for saying it. This wasn’t a very good start, but I’ll get better. We good?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol……that’s not what I I meant Kenny 😝. I meant thank you for your input from someone of the male persuasion on this matter. Sometimes a guy won’t share because well, it’s either embarrassing or just awkward. But I appreciate your input from a personal side, that’s all I meant. And yes, we good! 👍😁


  5. I’m glad you recognized what was going on, didn’t fall for it, and set clear boundaries–you’re making serious progress, girlfriend!! Similar variations of this have happened to me–guys who knew me in HS that friend me on FB, only to DM me that they are going (or just went) through a divorce, blah, blah, blah. First, I’m married, you dimwit. Second, no thank you–I’d never be interested in ever being someone’s rebound.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right? I know both men and women who are like this and I think to myself, WHAT THE FUCK is going on in your head?!? How do you ask someone “to date” when you haven’t seen or talked to them in over 8 years? It boggles the mind. And since I do know him from working with him, I’m not attracted to him in any way. He’s too needy, wimpy and just downright codependent…… hell no!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They are all dependent—can’t handle being alone…which is weird to me. I LOVED being alone. Having my husband move in with me, then get married has been WAY harder for me than going it solo.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I hear ya, I think that would happen to me too. It’s hard to make space for someone in your life when you’ve been so use to being independent and self sufficient. But I think that’s because we’re strong minded, emotionally secure women who can rock life alone or with a partner!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I doubt it….he’s extremely needy because he’s always had his wife to guide his life in one way or another. He’s looking for a replacement for her right away. And that’s not going to end well for him because a lot of women don’t need a 71 clingy, insecure man following them around….ugh.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree……I came to that conclusion myself just talking to the dude. I’m thinking she got tired of him not man-ing up on anything so she said I’m outta here. Which after talking to the needy bastard, I don’t blame her one bit.

        Liked by 1 person

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