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A Series of What the F**ks

I’ve encountered a couple of situations where Ive found myself, literally saying, WHAT THE FUCK?!? I thought this would be a change to the comedic side of life because well, we could all use a laugh or two. You know to bring some sort of positive glimmers of civility in this barbaric slaughterhouse known as humanity, especially due to the pandemic.

I’ve been “house sitting” for my oldest, if you all remember we bought our homes around the same time last year. So he’s had a series of issues that needed someone to be at home to have solar panels installed, the water heater fixed and oh yes, the second 65″ television that was delivered when the first one had been cancelled. It’s not been fun house sitting, I’m there with my grand cat Zeus, and he’s just a teenager so he has a lot of energy.

This is Zeus….isn’t he adorbs?!?

So the last couple of times I house sat, I hung curtains in my sons house because well, he’s a man and lives a minimalist lifestyle. Which is mom code for he’s too lazy to think about shit like that. Anyway, he asked me to house sit the first time and I hesitated and then he said “Come on mom, what else do you have to do?” As much as I hated to admit it, the mofo was right….ugh. On with the show.

Spandex/Yoga Pants….It’s a Privilege NOT A RIGHT!!!

Yes white woman who drives a red Dodge SUV at Albertsons!!! I’m talking to your fat butt, if you can see crotch hair in the mirror, don’t fucking put it on!!!!!! She was walking the aisles at Albertsons like she was circa 1980’s Christie Brinkley and thinking she was hot as fuck. But that wasn’t why people were staring, it was the light pink yoga pants and your lack of underwear that everyone was looking at you space cadet. Seriously what the fuck!?!?!

Roundabouts El Pasoans, Learn How to USE THEM Assholes!!!!

I’m talking to every fucking Audi, Mercedes, Accura, Lexus driving (oh yeah that one bitch in the silver Chevy Tahoe too) asshole who uses the roundabout at Edegemere and Rich Beem. Its a fucking roundabout you use it like YIELD signs you pompous over paid pricks!! Your supposed yield and let someone else take a turn to get where their going. If you don’t know how to use one, YOUTUBE IT IMBECILES!! But then again I have no idea why TXDOT just doesn’t put up street lights, because people on the far east side of Hell Paso will never learn how to use roundabouts, like EVER!

Okay Boomer……….Your Saying It Wrong.

I was at Target last week and saw a women not much older than myself with a snarky teenager in tow. To which the little bitch would respond to her mothers questions of “Do you want oranges or mandarins? With “Okay Boomer” and the woman seemed to be frustrated enough with shit going on in her head that she’d ignore this snarky little, prissy ass bitch. Now just to be clear, the phrase “Okay Boomer” was said to a specific person who was actually a Baby Boomer. A baby boomer are indicators of people who were born between 1946 and 1964. I was frustrated with just listening to her daughter who didn’t look up from her fucking phone once while they walked the isles of the store. After the fifteenth hundred “Okay Boomer” I finally stopped and asked her mom, “does she know what that means?” Her mom looked at her and then at me and laughed, and replied “Nope, she sure doesn’t.” Thats when the little bitch looked up from her phone and told her mom she didn’t like her making fun of her in front of strangers. I said “Aww, seriously? Oh poor little you” and finished with “Okay fetus” and her mom put her hand in the air and we high-fived each other as we passed our way towards opposite sides of the store. I could feel that snarky little bitches eyes trying to burn a hole through my back but, I’m one of the original queens of snark, so I was unfazed but her feeble, amateur attempts.

How In The Fuck Was I Suppose To Know This?!?!?!

So I had a virtual interview for a job I’d kill to get with the County. I had a panel of three people on it and two of them were smug as fuck. One of them I could tell wasn’t paying attention to my responses, because the fucker looked totally lost when it was his turn to ask me his three questions. One of which was this:

In an Excel spreadsheet with multiple years of income on it, how would you create a rule for which to filter out the income for a certain year, with only the months of March and August?

I’m sure my response will get me a “fail” on my interview because it’s a PASS/FAIL on whether candidates will go onto the next round. My response was….”If I was to be allowed to have an Excel sheet open while I interview, I’m sure I’d be able to give you a reasonable answer but since I can’t recall this action from a random question I’m going to have to give my answer as I don’t know.” Seriously pompous County Fiscal Budget asshole manager, who in their right mind could recall that kind of information especially during a job interview?!?! Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Oh well, live and learn I suppose.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

11 thoughts on “A Series of What the F**ks

  1. I despise roundabouts. Not the general idea of them but the fact they attract every idiot who doesn’t understand the concept.
    As for the teenage snot, good for you. Maybe you should have invited mom out for a cocktail. Sounds like she needs one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s seriously the stupidest interview question I’ve ever heard! I would have stated in amazement and then said “I have no fucking idea and if this job involves math and excel spreadsheets, I don’t want it!” Zeus is gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s an interview question out of left field!! Like what kind of response did they want? I know Excel, I’m no expert at it and when I get stuck I fucking YouTube it. And believe me, I’ve learned a lot about Excel from YouTube. My grandcat is gorgeous if I do say so myself 🥰


  3. Zeus is absolutely a cutie!! You’re going to smell like “other cat” and Charlie is going to be pissed at you!

    I hate round-abouts with a passion. I was in total disbelief when a nearby town (population of under 3,000) put in a round-about at an intersection that in my opinion, just needed a bit more thought put into the design. It could have been fixed and made into a 4 way stop or a light put in but no, they had to have a round-about. It’s just stupid.

    I’m happy to hear you’re getting interviews but seriously? What a stupid question. He probably thought he was being clever.

    I have always hated teenagers….even when I was a teenager! Haha! I didn’t hate my own kids when they were teens but they sure came close to getting a knuckle sandwich a time or two! Teens are royal PIA’s and think they know it all. Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! I despise toddlers more, but tolerate teenagers. Although they always underestimate the snark factor of Gen-Xers. Charlie smells me when I get home from my sons and gives me stink eye, the way only cats can…lol. Asshole in the interview thought he was being clever, prick.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Zeus IS adorable—and I’m sure he knows it!!

    My husband has been griping about women wearing yoga pants who should not for years!

    We have several roundabouts here as well, however most people do know how to use them properly. They are, when used properly, far superior to stop signs and stoplights. It does help the flow of traffic to continue to move rather than back up.

    What is super weird question to ask in an interview. Why the hell wouldn’t they have just given you a skills test? That’s far more common than asking a detailed question without the program in front of you. Hopefully, you were I don’t know answer doesn’t get used as a negative against you. I hope interviews are becoming more common place for you, which means you’re getting closer to landing a gig.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Zeus is a cutie, and he does know it, lol. Ugh, I’ve griped about certain women not using yoga pants, it’s embarrassing to the rest of the female gender. As are low rise jeans…🤨. I’m sure roundabouts in your neck of the woods work the way they are suppose to, but here…it’s like rocket science to the stupid people, lol. I’m slowly getting interview invites so I hoping something comes up soon, thanks Heather for your positive vibes, as always 👍💜🤗

      Liked by 1 person

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