Shout Out to A Couple of Blogger Buddies and One Non-Blogger Friend and Other Rants from The Huntress

This is officially my third week of unemployment, which has me sleeping later than usual and doing stuff around my house at my own pace. That is unless my cat, who has taken on an alias (don’t ask me why?) wants to be called Pattso Gregorovich. He has demanded that I call him by this name, and does so in a Russian accent. To which I quickly responded “hell to the no I”m not calling you Pattso Gregorovich, your name is Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan!” He sat down on his fat butt to explain that Scottish cats don’t really do anything interesting and Sasha said he should change his name to be able to lead a more exciting feline life.

A couple of cat punches and arm scratches later, I reaffirmed the fact that I’m the one that buys his food and cat litter so I refuse to call him Pattso, which I quickly reminded him rhymes with fattso. Let’s just say, Pattso was not impressed. When he said he was taking lessons from a Russian Blue feline named Sasha, I scoffed at him and thats when he tried to grab my phone.

He’s mad because I refuse to him by his Russian name

Okay back to the program, in any case I’ve been applying every single day and today was the first day I’ve claimed unemployment benefits. Or should I say, I filed for my first unemployment benefits to be paid out to me. I’ll be deducted about $65 dollars from each payment seeing as I “owe” this fucking “commission” over payment for a supposed job I turned down back in 2002. Which is complete bullshit because I took a better paying job over another but try explaining that to the “commission.”

On Friday October 22nd was officially my last day at that horrible place. That day I endured a day of no one talking to me, I was in my former office the majority of the day making applications online. I had closed the door to my office not really talking to anyone, because no one talked to me so why was I going to make the effort to talk to assholes who were ignoring me? I wanted the day to go by fast but that wasn’t the case, it seemed that the more I wanted to leave the slower that day went by. They had boxed lunches brought in for everyone and I had a knock on my door and Impostor #1 asked me if I wanted lunch. I said no because I had plans to go eat lunch with Cupcake that day. So I closed the door to my office and watched three movies that day on my iPad, Hackers, Down With Love and The Other Boleyn Girl. So 4:30pm came around, I grabbed what was left of my belongings and started to walk out of the office. Then I heard that fat ass bitch get up from her chair and follow me down the hall. She called out “Huntress, are you leaving already?” as I turned around I sighed loudly and said “Why yes FS, I am leaving, why do you ask?” and she said “well it’s not 5 o’clock yet.” And I laughed out hysterically and as I held my purse in one hand and my bag of stuff in the other and responded with “Oh…FS, I don’t give a fuck what time it is, I won’t be here on Monday and I don’t care what you say or think” and turned right back around and walked out of that

My Avon Lady Is A Saint

I wanted to give a heartfelt shout out to my blogger friend Heather, of Hopelessly Heather who also happens to be my official Avon lady as well. When I got home on what was my official last day, I went to my mailbox to find a package from Heather. I thought to myself I didn’t order any Avon did I? I got inside and changed, washed my face of makeup, and put on my comfy shorts and tank-top and went to the kitchen to open what Heather had sent. Inside I found a care package and a card from Heather telling me that she sent me this care package so that I can take care of myself because of all the professional bullshit I’d been going through the last two months. I stood there holding my card, looking through all the wonderful things she’d sent me (all Avon of course because she knows my love of everything Avon!) with tears rolling down my face. Which soon turned to loud sobs because my last day in the horrible place, not once did my soon to be old (I emphasize OLD) boss, that leathery hag bitch say thank you for everything I’d done to help her in the year and a half I was with her. Not that I needed her to say thank you, but I know she was still hung up on what she believed I had done wrong, and was blinded by those stinking values she will never see all the good and positive things I did for her stupid office. I cried for 45 minutes straight, I took my care package in my hands and hugged it because it meant the world to me on that last, horrible day in that lousy office.

So thank you Heather you made me feel like a million bucks on one of the days in my life I felt the most defeated, I am so lucky to have a friend like you!!!

My Dear Friend Deb From Aunt Debbie

When I first bough my house and finally closed at the end of June, I had been telling my friend Deb from Being Aunt Debbie about all the moving headaches I’d been experiencing and all the crap I thought was my son’s. Which in fact some of it (not all) had turned out to be mine. I’ve made 9 trips to Savers and the Goodwill to donate everything from women’s clothes, shoes, curtains, housewares (mostly plastic plates, cups and glasses, which were actually my sons…hee-hee) to some furniture I didn’t plan on using anymore. 9 trips, and all in my Ford Fusion because I don’t have a truck to make one haul to these places so I’ve had to make a couple in my car. Anyway, a couple of weeks after I moved in I received a package in the mail. Low and behold, I find these spectacular glasses sent to me by my dear friend Deb!! I sent her a text right away to tell her I ABSOLUTELY LOVE these glasses and to let her know that she knows me so well, lmao.

My dear friend Deb, she knows me so well!

So thank you my dear friend Deb, I appreciate having a friend like you to remind me of who I really am and that I shouldn’t change for anyone!

Just Jack

The Weds following my last day at work, I slept in late and by late I mean almost until about noon. The only reason I didn’t was because Charlie finally got tired of waiting for me to get out of bed and feed his fat ass…….I mean pour food into his bowl. So I got out of bed, went through my morning routine you know coffee, watching Fixer Upper, making myself a health shake and figuring out what I’m going to work on next. As I put a load of laundry to wash my doorbell rang, which lets face it doesn’t happen often. But I opened the door to find UPS speeding away (as they usually do) and a brown box at my front door. It was a plain brown box with no address or information on who it was from. Anyway I opened up my mystery package and found Jack had sent me a book as a gift. His card said “For you to read and finally understand those bitch ex-coworkers of yours. Remember good riddance is all in how you say it, preferably with a glass of red wine in hand and a killer black dress. Love Jack.”

So thank you too Jack, even though he’ll never see this because I haven’t told him about my blog, and I think I prefer it that way. I love you and thank you for the awesome biography about my leathery hag ex-boss and that fat ass Fake Supervisor.

Until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”