Things That Happened While I Was On Vacation

I haven’t posted anything in over two weeks because of work and the continuing effort to finalize the unpacking process from the move into my new house.  Which is kind of odd saying that because it’s not really my new house anymore, it’s just my house.  I’ve adjusted to the fact that this house is way bigger than the rental home I lived in for 15 years.  But the fact that I’m still unpacking comes as a complete surprise to me because of the fact that, HOW IN THE FUCK DID I ACCUMULATE SO MUCH CRAP?!?!  And here I thought that most of it was my son’s, which is accurate he had a lot of crap he’s taking to his new house.  And I still have some of his crap/stuff/junk at mine, waiting patiently for him to take it home.  Anyway, I took vacation to be able to stay home and finish unpacking and organize everything where it needs to go.  All the while trying to keep the jungle that was my front and back yards in check.  Because with all the rain, they grow like…..well like fucking weeds and my role as new home owner now includes being a landscaper/gardener to make sure my house has a tame yard.  Because will all the rain, the grass (actually it’s more the weeds) grow unruly and it’s a pain in the fucking ass. 

Also since I don’t have a lawnmower I use the weed whacker to do what I can to keep everything in check. 

The Only Person I Knew On My Side Of Town Left

Working here I had to start working with Good Cop/Bad Cop and under his department I became friends with one of the assistant directors and the head RN who runs infection control.  We didn’t like each other at first because he’s such a diva.  Apparently that’s exactly what he thought about me too, and then we got along fabulously.  Come to find out he lived on the same side of town I moved to, only four blocks from where I bought my house.  So we became kind of close in the short amount of time that we worked together, I’m going to call him Jack (Will and Grace) because he’s the Jack to my Karen.

I’m going to really miss Jack

Just as I began to form a new work family, Jack up and tells me he found a job in Phoenix and is going to start on Sept 8^th.  I and Cupcake (the RN in Infection Control, I’ll explain later and yes it’s a he) will just have to get along without Jack.  Jack put his house up for sale and it sold in less than two weeks, he’s coming back into town to sign off on paper work in three weeks to finalize the sale of his house.  So because of this, Jack was selling off a lot of his stuff, you know furniture, accessories etc.  He had already given me a light fixture for the dining area.  So he called me to go and pick it up from his house and he was also having a yard sale to get rid of some of his things.  Needless to say I came home with not just the free light fixture, but for $35 I came home with a newish tv stand, two blue accent chairs, an industrial style lamp and a “vintage” coffee table that I’m going to refinish to make it look more modern.  I’ve gotten into the DIY phase of my home buying experience.  Anyway Jack called me the following day to tell me that he was selling his Ashley Furniture sofas, and I was ecstatic because they’re beautiful!  But, I told him I was on a budget, and needed to negotiate the price.  He said no need to negotiate, I know you’ll take care of them so I’ll let you have them both for $300. 

I was like FURIOUSLY HAPPY! No I’m not ripping off Jenny Lawson, I was literally furiously happy for him letting me have them for only $300. 

These are the sofas I got from Jack, this picture is from his home’s Realtor.com listing

Because I looked up the sofa set and he paid about $2400 for them.  So, I went to pick up my new-ish sofa set at his house on Friday and with my son’s help got them home and into my new “formal” living room.  Which by the way has an awkward green wall now since I moved the old sofa set into the “sun” room or “den” area.  But, that will change by next week when I can go buy paint for that one wall.  Friday was the last day I saw Jack in person, he was off to Phoenix that weekend to start his new fabulous life over there.  All because Good Cop/Bad Cop didn’t think he had the experience and education to allow him to apply for the director position.  Only because this idiot wants a RN for the director but I digress.  Good Cop/Bad Cop is allowing the good hardworking people in his department to leave, and those who are asshole miscreants to stay.  What the fuck is wrong with this picture, seriously?

My Home Still Doesn’t Quite Feel Like Home…..Yet

Charlie kept mumbling to himself this very phrase while I was on vacation…

Yes, tis true, my beautiful little house (not really it’s kinda big for one person and her snarky, CHONK cat) doesn’t quite feel like home yet.  I’ve been there over two months and I’m still trying to find my place, you know like when you finally slip into bed or a comfy sofa and find just the right spot to just lie in?  Yeah that’s how I feel right now, maybe it’s because I still have tons of shit to unpack and it won’t feel like home until all of this crap is put away in its place and/or donated.  In spite of my wonderful house not quite feeling like home, I do like the view of the mountain every morning when I leave to drive to work.  It’s absolutely breathtaking, of course unless your being eaten alive by mosquitos that is.  In my old house, I didn’t have a mosquito problem, but maybe being so close to the mountain and because its been raining constantly that’s why there are mosquitos out to get me.  Of course it doesn’t help that neighbors (I won’t mentioned which ones) won’t cut their fucking grass that’s also taken over with giant weeds.  See, this is why I got up early on my first day of vacation, yes at 6am to go outside to cut grass, pull weeds, trim my mimosa tree that seemed to be growing out wild and dug up four dried up rose bushes.  I didn’t want the neighbors to start gossiping about “the woman who bought the corner house and how she doesn’t keep her yard tidy.”  Okay, it’s only in my imagination but if I’m already thinking this about neighbors that have already lived there longer than I have, what’s to say they aren’t thinking that about me? I can hear it already…

Neighbors:

Grace (fictitious neighbor’s name): Oh gawd, Henry did you see the new neighbor that bought the house on the corner?

Henry (fictitious neighbors husband): Nope, watching the game…

Grace: Her weeds are almost up to the ankles.  Isn’t she going to at least do her yard sometime soon?

Henry: Can’t hear ya Grace, watching the game.

Grace: And why doesn’t she put her car in her garage?  She’s probably one of those hoarders, oh GAWD Henry we have a hoarder living across the street!!

Henry: Oh for the love of Pete, Grace, stop looking through the window like a fucking Kravitz!

Grace: I’m not a Kravitz, Henry I’m merely making a comment about how our new neighbor isn’t cleaning her yard!  She’s been there close to two months and you can see the weeds in her back yard are as tall as the fence!

Henry:…..raises the volume on the television.

Meanwhile across the street from the Kravitz’…..

Norma (other fictitious neighbor): Well fuck my life James that fucking Henry and his wife have the volume up on their dammed television….again!

James: Can’t hear you Norma I’m watching the game.

Norma: But did you see the woman that bought the house on the corner hasn’t cleaned her yard yet? Well, that’s just an abomination.  At least the last neighbors kept their yard clean.

James: But they had house parties and drank out front Norma.  You called the cops on then several times, remember?

Norma: Well, if they were going to drink at least do it in the back yard where no one can see you.

James: *sighs loudly*

Norma: At least the new neighbor seems quiet, but she really does need to cut the weeds in her yard.

James: I’m going over to Henry’s to watch the game….

I have four sets of neighbors because I have a corner house, one to the right, to the left, one caddy corner to me and the house right in front of mine.  Whose yard hasn’t been kept since I moved in, so if these fucking neighbors are going to gossip, they should maybe start with them.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”