Trying to Accept Things As They Are, and Being Grateful For What I Have

Yes, it’s still raining here…..

No, you’re not dreaming or on someone else’s blog, yes that is the title of my latest post.  In addition to being tired, for which I have an upcoming doctor’s appointment.  I’m also feeling a lack of, enthusiasm, energy or whatever else once calls just making it through their day and going home, then repeating it again.  Like the Lego Movie, except in my reality not everyone is awesome.

I was Voluntold To Help A Passive Aggressive Good Cop/Bad Cop

My dotted line boss, my VP volunteered me to help a director of a department she oversees.  I didn’t fight it because he seemed to be a very good, genuine guy.  That was mid-June, and now I want to fucking choke the motherfucker because he’s not what he seems to be.  He plays this very well meaning person to the higher ups, but behind the scenes he’s a complete asshole who doesn’t know what he’s doing.  You may remember him as Dr. Dangerous.  Well, he’s more like the Good Cop/Bad Cop from the Lego movie.  Yes this may very well be a Lego Movie themed post, but whatever, this dude is getting on my nerves!  AND I’m not being paid to help this douche bag of a director either, when I approached my VP about getting what we call an overload, she said no.   An overload is extra money we’ve paid others under my boss that take on extra duties while doing their jobs.  Some of the administrators under have received an extra $1,500 a month.  In addition to their six figure salaries.  And I can’t fucking can’t get an extra $500 for dealing with Dr. Douchebag?!?!

The dude is impossible to work with, he makes things harder than they should be, and he’s lost four people in his department who were competent, valuable, hardworking people!  Then he keeps the slackers, whiners and do-nothing asshole, bitch pricks! One which I’ve already butted heads with, I’m going to call her the Human Hemorrhoid, but in reality she physically looks like the poop emoji we all use, I’m not exaggerating with this. 

If I could show y’all a picture of her I would so you’d see she really does look like the poop emoji.  She’s a manager and has attempted to tell me what to do, boss me around and order me to do what she should be doing.  So after ignoring her nasty emails and such, she sent me another one and “told” me I had to answer her or else.  So I answered her, and I copied Dr. Douchebag and told her I didn’t work for her, and that I was helping Dr. Douchebag out at the behest of my boss.  I also explained that as a manager she needed to take care of those individuals under her, and I worked directly for the VP in charge of her boss, and I wasn’t a secretary or an admin.  I was the EA for the VP of Clinical Administration, and I don’t answer to anyone but my boss.  Which I pointed again, was her boss’s boss, and if she didn’t like it, she could take it up directly with her boss or mine.

I’m Supporting Four People And My Workload Is More While My Pay Is The Same

After I approached my VP about a potential overload and after she said no, I felt as though I’m just being taken advantage of.  And now I see her as President Business from the Lego Movie….yes, yes my post has taken on the Lego Movie theme, I know.

Maybe this is why I feel so tired, and that my lack of enthusiasm has been more and more apparent.  My plan is to do the bare minimum, yes I know how that sounds, and believe me it’s not like me to be a slacker in any way.  I’ve always prided myself in being a hard worker, and never, ever back down from a challenge.  But, being volunteered to help someone else without being asked isn’t exactly what I had in mind as far as a challenge.  I want the extra experience, I want to gain knowledge from my job so that I can eventually become a director or something.  So I don’t have to work at the drive through at Wendy’s until I’m 89 years old to pay off a house I bought at 52 years of age.

I’m Grateful For…

My therapist asked me what I was grateful for after our visit and my bitch session about my boss, the new duties and how I wasn’t being paid extra for all the work I’m doing and how others are getting an overload amount.  She sighed out loud as if annoyed and then I sighed even louder, that’s when she gave me a little black journal and asked me to write down every morning, twenty things I’m grateful for.  She said to fill up the journal and when I have, to bring it back to her.

So after the first few days of entries like….

I’m grateful for not being in jail

For not being arrested for road rage

For not killing the stupid lady in the checkout line at Albertsons for haggling over coupons

I started writing down things like……

Being grateful for God

For my boys

For the view of the mountain from my house

For my job (despite the drawbacks)

For my blogger friends

For my house

You know things like that, genuinely being grateful for the things I have and not keep wondering about the things I don’t.  Being grateful for a dinner get together tonight with cousins I haven’t seen in decades.  Six maternal cousins that I grew up with, that I’d see every weekend, played together, fought with, spent the night with and somehow we all lost touch when we grew up.  Being grateful for being alive and living to be 52 years old, technically not until October but we’re almost there so, whatever.

So until next time……this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”