Will This Nightmare Ever End….or Will I Kill My Son Before He Moves Into His House?

Lunch with Freddy Kruger would be more pleasant than having to move crap, junk and trash from the rental house to mine and my son’s home.  Seriously the arguments of whose crap it belongs to, began to get on my fucking nerves because clearly, it’s mostly his shit.  You want to know the difference between crap, junk and trash, let me enlighten you, here I go.

That’s what he kept saying over and over as I threw my five-thousand bag of crap at him…

Junk – these are things that belong to someone else (my son) that aren’t really good for anything but he decides to keep it anyway,  For example, in the garage cabinets that are over the washer dryer area, I found eight, count them, eight sets of FUCKING SPARK PLUGS!!  Yes, used spark plugs for his car and truck, why he choose to keep them, I don’t know but its crap.  Also, I found four oil filter wrenches, because apparently he was never able to find the one’s he previously had, you know, because they were swallowed up by all that crap he had in MY GARAGE!  Not to mention countless computer cables, remote controls, six bags of zip ties (because he kept losing them) and nine pairs of mechanics gloves.  Apparently my son has a serious problem, when he can’t find something he just goes out to buy another one of what he’s “lost.”

No seriously…..I’m about to snap his neck!

Crap – this is stuff that belongs to my son as well, but this are things that he uses but not on a daily basis, for example, he has three electric toothbrushes, why?  I couldn’t tell you, but it seems that my son’s Junk/Crap/Trash monster keeps taking shit from him and hiding it in weird places like the garage or in the spare bedroom closet or the bottom of his laundry hamper.  Or, hey how about the fact that I found three pairs of old work boots that he “saved” to use when he was supposed to work on the yard or his car or whatever.  The mofo wouldn’t let me donate them to Goodwill because “they were still in good condition and usable.”  And did he use them?  No, no he motherfucking didn’t!  Or how about the dozens of quarts of motor oil containers (some empty and some new) that I found throughout the garage, swallowed by his Junk/Crap/Trash monster?  Other crap I found that belongs to my son, clothes that he doesn’t use but swears (not as much as I have though honestly) he’ll fit into as soon as “His fluffy ass loses weight which will be soon now that he has his own house to workout in” his exact words not mine.  Old light fixtures, broken lamps, one broken lawn chair, two custom made wooden chairs that have never been used and an electric skillet that according to him is still good despite the non-stick surface being almost all gone.

Trash – Now I’m going to say that there is definitely a fine line between junk and trash, according to my son anyway, to me trash is fucking trash.  For example, boxes….so many fucking empty Amazon boxes all over the garage.  Some flattened as I had requested he do because they were swallowing up every fucking thing, and some just thrown on top of each other.  Some of those boxes came in handy for the move but believe it or not, some were too small to use for us to move.  Why he saves the boxes from shit he orders from Amazon? He said “Well, you never know when I might have to send anything back in case it doesn’t work.”  I thought to myself, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

What can I say? It’s the motherfucking truth

In addition to thousands upon thousands of cardboard boxes there were tons of plastic bags that belonged to shit that were, at one point, in the cardboard boxes.  I packed up two large trash bags with countless plastic bags of all shapes and sizes. 

It’s been almost a month and I’m still not done!!! Yes ladies and gents, my son is a fucking hoarder and I didn’t know how bad his condition was until this week when we were STILL FUCKING PACKING, CLEANING AND MOVING shit from the rental house to each of our respective homes!!!  Even trash because we’re going to have to get rid of that shit little by little since there is no trash pickup at the rental home address because I transferred service to my new house.  I want to finally get the hell out of there, go turn in the keys and just LEAVE…..so, as of today I’m still going every day after work to pack up crap, junk and trash so I can surrender the property and be done with any ties with the horrific landlord and the mediocre property management company she uses.  I’ll keep you posted, this is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”