I’ve continued my quest to improve myself and get over several issues I’ve been carrying since childhood and one huge one in my adult life (Lestat.) So I’ve continued to see Terri my super therapist who has had some very valuable insight into who, why and how to deal with all of these issues in my life. Now, coming from a Hispanic/Latino background, therapy was a four letter word……B-E-E-R. And if you think I’m joking, I’m not, okay just a little bit. But that’s how people in my family dealt with emotional, physical, financial and mental issues. So to say that alcoholism runs rampant in my family is a huge understatement. My dad’s side of the family alone have had a long string of alcoholics that, combined have served enough time for alcohol related charges that a correctional facility could be named after them.
On my mom side, well let’s just say that every correctional facility from here to the California/Nevada border would have their last name emblazoned on them. Needless to say that I have always been proud of the fact that I haven’t fallen prey to the type of alcoholism that most of my family suffers from. I’m not talking about drinking Kahlua straight from the bottle, or the occasional glass of wine or cocktail. The alcoholics (I call them mom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins) in my family are daily drinkers, they can’t go one day without popping the top on a can or bottle of beer. Or in my mom’s side of the family’s case, going though bottles of whiskey, gin or vodka. ON A DAILY BASIS PEOPLE! They drink every single day of their lives, so I’m surprised that none of them have pickled themselves to death just yet. Or maybe it works like formaldehyde and is preserving these dinosaurs forever….forever…forever.
Moving on, so in my last session with Terri she was asking me a couple of questions regarding work. I told her about how generous my boss has been and how I love my job but that health wise, it’s causing me a bit of stress. In an exercise she asked me to write down some of the people I deal with and give her the list, then after I gave her the list she began to ask me the first though that I came across afterwards. I thought to myself, well this is weird. So she started and after the first six names I was in such a bad mood, but I had no idea that this was happening to me.
She got to Fake Supervisor and she noticed how I reacted to her saying her name, and mind you I try very hard not to react to Fake Supervisor in any way, let alone hearing her name. With this little facial twitch she told me I had anger management issues. Can you fucking believe that?!?! Okay I can believe it but I’m not trying to hide the fact that some people at work make me want to carry around the giant pair of scissors over my shoulder sometimes, just to get a reaction from the stupid ones like Fake Mimi. But, Fake Mimi is leaving this week, so one of the sources of my stress will be vanquished.
In any case, Terri told me that I had to control my anger, and I told her I was already doing yoga and running but she suggested something even more severe…..kindness. I’m like what the literal fuck?!?! She said “Have you ever heard the term, kill them with kindness?” I shook my head and said “You had me at the word kill, then I lost you completely.” She responded with “There you see, you are lost in your anger” and so after my hour long session and her suggestion that in spite of the stupidity I deal with daily. I should focus my energy on being excruciatingly kind to those that piss me the fuck off. So, for one week I told her I’d try and I also told her that I wasn’t making any promises but I would do so because she asked me to.
I’m Not An Alcoholic, I Only Play One On TV
When Terri moved on to the subject of my families alcoholism she asked me if I was every afraid that I’d head down that path. I answered honestly and told her I didn’t think I had it in me, and if I was I would already be a high functioning alcoholic. She cocked her head to one side and said “high functioning?” I told her that almost all of those in my family who are alcoholics are high functioning, they seem normal, they can go to work, socialize and are responsible enough to earn a living. But they have to have their alcohol after work into the late night because they can’t sleep without it. Or it helps them relax and all the other types of bullshit alcoholics tell you when they try to justify why they drink. She then started to write notes on her pad, and she confirmed what I had already suspected. She told me that I wasn’t an alcoholic because I didn’t depend on it to help me function and also because even though I do drink, it’s not in excess and I don’t do it every day. She also threw in a warning, which I should try to stay away from stressful situations because that can be a trigger to drink. So, my take away from this session with Terri? I need to find another job because of my anger management issues that can cause me stress and lead me to drink. Or, slowly but surely kill off everyone that pisses me off and have a toast of a bubbly beverage as I bury their bodies wrapped in tarps at the landfill that’s approximately 35 miles east of here.
Call Me Diabloique, I Dare You
I went to go and get a p.o box for reasons that I will disclose later on. After they gave me my key and number, this is the number I got.
It didn’t worry me any, I just thought it was hilarious because well, due to the nature of my personality I found it fitting. Then I showed my son, and he said “Well, do they know you down at the post office mom?” What can I say, that’s all the confirmation I needed.
Stupid People EVERYWHERE
One of my friends and former coworkers from the other university I worked at was in hysterics on Friday night because she had a car accident. I was asking her if she was alright and she said she was, but that some stupid blonde bimbo in a Corvette had crashed into her PARKED Jeep Compass. Then she said that when the cops showed up the Corvette Bitch was trying to tell the cops that it wasn’t her fault. Now, look at this picture and tell me, do you think this bitch could possibly get away with, “It wasn’t my fault?”
Because my friends car was parked in front of her daughters house….I don’t think the cops bought it. My friend said they didn’t either but now her insurance company is going through fighting Blonde Bitch Corvette’s insurance company because she keeps insisting that it wasn’t her fault. I think her insurance company might be owned by the Donald.
This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”