I know I’ve spoken about Fake Buddy, Fake Phoebe, Fake Buzz, Fake Bob, Fake Mimi and Fake Roseanne in a lot of my previous posts. They have been to say the least entertaining and without them I wouldn’t have as much blog fodder to entertain my readers. But, how does one get past the assortment of dysfunction and pure unadulterated stupidity that I encounter on a daily basis? I had a Telemedicine doctor’s appointment on Friday, after extensive bloodwork to try and determine why I’ve been feeling so tired and without any motivation for the last couple of months, he determined it was stress.
My doctor went over the results of my labs and he concluded that my cholesterol and cortisol levels are much higher than the past two years combined. He asked me what changed, and I of course told him that it was a new job. Okay, it’s not that new, I’ve been here going on ten months now, but the last set of labs I had which was back in October showed that I was maintaining a good balance and my cholesterol was at a healthy level and he hadn’t tested my cortisol levels. I began to tell him about what my new job entailed and who the cast of characters I deal with make me so mad sometimes that I have to go and walk around to blow off steam. Well, after my virtual doctor’s visit, my boss asked me how it went and I told her what my results were and how my doctor was kind of worried about my stress levels. She closed the door to my office and said “You know what Huntress, don’t do that to yourself. I know you’re new to this department and everyone that comes through here. But you need to learn to not sweat the small stuff.” She continued, “A very long time ago I was exactly like you, I let every person that came through my office get to me. Whether it was by their actions or attitude I would always somehow manage to be in angry knots when they left. Life is too short to let stupid people matter.”
She looked at me and asked “Do you understand? Don’t let Fake Buddy, Fake Buzz or Fake Bob get under your skin, remember it’s their the ones with issues, not you.” She winked at me and walked out of my office, I sat there pondering her words, taking them in, absorbing the knowledge of her 64 years. Then, about half an hour later I get an email from Gaia | Yoga, and it said I was gifted a one year subscription to a series of yoga classes. They start at beginners, then intermediate and advanced, four months of each, starting next week. Then I get an email from Amazon, I got a virtual gift card to Amazon to buy three pairs of yoga pants/shirts or whatever I needed.
I’m so very grateful, really I am but I think to relieve the kind of stress I feel I would have much preferred a kick boxing or taekwondo class, hell even access to a shooting range would alleviate a lot of stress, (yes Dave, and you’d be the first person I’d be aiming for.) But hey, I’ll take it, I need to focus on the stress that, apparently I’ve been absorbing since I started this job.
I was on the verge of tears, she said that she needs me to be healthy and not worry about the things I can’t control. Nor to let the assholes that make me angry cause me undue stress. She said, “By this time next year you should be the healthiest person in this department, remember don’t let the stupid people get on your nerves. They are simply not worth the aggravation. You also need to do something exciting, take a trip to the hot springs in New Mexico, go take a sky diving lesson, hike the Franklin Mountains, but do something out of your comfort zone, you got me?” My boss is by far the bestesest (yes Dave, this is an actual word you grammar Nazi, because I’ve made it so!) boss I’ve ever had, and I mean that with all my heart. Then I get the summary of my consult with my doctor, and this is what he said…
I love my doctor, he and his wife are my PCP and OBGYN’s respectively and I’ve never had to wonder or not whether they actually pay attention to me, my needs or how I feel. He had given me a food log to start logging in what I was eating. I logged in my lunch and dinner I emailed it to him, and during our consult he asked me if that was all. I stayed silent, and said that I had been indulging in a few after work (after workout) cocktails. He asked how many….I said one…..he stayed quiet. I said “Okay, does drinking Kahlua out of the bottle count?” He ordered me to stay off of alcohol for an entire month. Now THAT is going to be torture, and my stress level may go up, I’m not sure it’s a toss up….
Snarky Cat on Classic Film Watching…
On another note, who say’s cats can’t convey feelings through facial expressions? Well on Saturday I…ahem, we were watching some classic movies on TCM. The movie Double Indemnity with Barbara Stanwyck, Fred McMurray and Edward G. Robinson came on which happens to be one of Charlie’s favorite films, and one of mine too. He sits on the ottoman and watches these movies, listening/watching intently and I have to say, learning something I just don’t know what. But I digress as I was asking him, nicely of course, if he was ready to have dinner. I asked the mofo a couple of times but he just ignored me and continued to watch the movie.
I nudged the ottoman he was sitting on and this is the look he game me. The mofo gave me the stink eye!!! He loves Edward G. Robinson, and then lectured me on how NOT to bother him whilst watching his favorite movies, after which, we watched the Maltese Falcon….in silence.
P.S Random Funny Picture Just Because
P.S.S – I’ve blocked “Dave” from my blog, he’s anther a-hole who only criticized my posts while the stupid motherfucker did nothing creative. Ha! Take that Dave!
This is the Huntress, saying.…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”