There was Once A White Russian that Turned Into A Colorado Bulldog, and a Bruiser Cat that Turned into a House Pet.

What? Snow in Old El Paso?……Get out of Town…Seriously Get Out of Town, People Here Don’t Know How To Drive In Inclement Weather….

The past couple of days have been……cold.  Yep, cold as a witch’s titty out yonder in this part of Texas.  A part of Texas that never sees the weather dip lower than, oh about, 45 degrees maybe?  Anyway when the local weather peeps were talking about El Paso being hit by that winter storm going on down south and up north I thought to myself, nope not going to happen.  Why? Because this is El Paso, it gets hotter than hell during the summer but it rarely gets cold enough for us to pull out those heavy winter coats, gloves, scarves and boots for.  Seriously it’s a joke when people say “oh it’s cold out there” and it’s like 55 degrees. 

The view from my front yard on Sunday morning

So when I heard it was going to be 15 degrees this weekend, I scoffed, yes I scoffed out loud no less as I made my way home on Friday stopping at the liquor store four blocks from my house to pick up some vodka and Kahlua to make myself a couple of White Russians for the weekend.

Not for any special reason, just simply for the fact that I was craving a white Russian, and the drink too….yes that was a joke.

Living With Squidward Is NOT FUN!

Anyway, I got home and my son who is recovering from the flu and being a total Squidward about it told me it was going to freeze and snow on Saturday night.  I scoffed again, and told him this was El Paso Texas and that cold here meant either Mother Nature was going through menopause and having hot and cold flashes simultaneously.  He was not amused, but of course not because the mofo has been home the entire week making my life a living hell because he has/had the flu.  Then he got mad at me because I MADE him go get tested for COVID since they have similar symptoms.  Yes the mofo got tested, and during the time he was waiting for the results, I made him stay in his room, wear a mask and gloves.  Made him wipe down everything he touched with Clorox wipes because I didn’t know if it was COVID or the flu.  Then his doctor called to tell him he tested negative for COVID but positive for the flu.

My son is Squidward, Squidward is my son…..ugh

Either way I treated him as if he had COVID, making him stay in his room, taking him food, reminding him to take his meds, you know being a good mom.  And what do I get in return?  I get attitude because he’s sick and acting like a goddamned baby and he complains about eating and not being able to taste anything.  About eating the same old “house food” and wanting take out (even though the mofo couldn’t taste anything) and complaining that he was cold (before the freezing temp actually hit) then that he was too hot.  Oh my god, I almost hit my very own son over the head with a damned shovel, YES, YES, THAT THOUGHT did cross my mind for a split second……..then I calmed down.   

Then I made myself a White Russian and settled in to enjoy the weekend.  As I sipped on my second cocktail, I thought it came out a bit strong. 

But I soldiered on, sipping my next cocktail, in my nice warm flannel PJ’s that I use maybe twice a year (again it’s El Paso people keep up with me here) and watching a great new show on SyFy called Resident Alient. 

This is totally hilarious, no seriously without alcohol

It stars Alan Tudyk (he’s from El Paso y’all) and it’s a combination of sarcastic humor, Law and Order and Northern Exposure all wrapped up into one great show.  Then I watched Ghost Adventures and I made my third white Russian that still tasted kind of strong. 

That’s why my brain Sharleen (remember her?) said to me, add freaking Coke to it and make is a damned Colorado Bulldog and stop complaining because your giving me and Charlie a headache.  Anyway I added Coke to my White Russian and it made for a much more pleasant drinking experience.  So much so I drank the entire bottle of vodka and Kahlua over the weekend, and no I didn’t get a hangover. 

Best stress reliving, grumpy kid tolerating, homicide tendency reducing drink ever…

Which in itself is kind of odd, because the Cayman Jack Margarita’s do give me a headache type hangover, but that could be that I drink the entire six pack at once.  HHmmmm…..

This weekend went by and because of all of my adult beverage consumption I didn’t even realize that Sunday way Valentine’s Day.  Not that I pay attention to that consumer driven holiday, but usually I remember because my dad’s and my oldest son’s birthday’s come the day after and two days later respectively.  But because my son was being such a pain in the ass, I’ve officially cancelled his birthday this year.  Yes I can do that, I’m his mom and went through 13 and a half hours of labor with him, for him to act like a total douche 35 years later. 

I’m his mom…..I can do that you know….

Why, yes I can hold a grudge…..and apparently a ton of vodka and Kahlua as well, come at me bro, do it…..I dare you.

Cone Cat….

On another note, my cat….ahem, my feline owner got himself into yet another round of “who has bigger balls” (oddly enough he has no balls since he’s neutered) with the neighbors cat Grady about three weeks ago.  He came in on a Friday night with his left ear swollen, then Saturday it was even more swollen and then he began to scratch it.  And scratch it he did, so much so that he began to bleed, all over the damned house! 

So finally on Sunday my son and I had to take him to the vet, or as Charlie puts it “Cat Physician.”  The Cat Physician found he had an abscess because he scratched it so much and became infected.  He was shaven (around the ear of course) and the abscess drained, two stiches put in, given a rabies and an antibiotic injection and given some pain meds.  He was also given a medical cone to keep from scratching, he had the cone on for an entire week. 

Captain Cone Cat high on pain meds

I felt bad for him because he was bumping into the walls, flipping his food bowl over.  But, his fight and the trip to the Cat Physician cost my son $200 and now, Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan gave up his Kat Fight Klub title and is strictly an inside cat.  No he’s not happy about it, but he seems to be adjusting to the comforts of being inside 24/7 now. 

This is the Huntress, saying…”Don’t be a Moth Around a Dim Yellow Bulb, Be a Moth to a Flame, Make it worth the Burn!”

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

29 thoughts on “There was Once A White Russian that Turned Into A Colorado Bulldog, and a Bruiser Cat that Turned into a House Pet.

  1. Thanks for the half-smile! That’s all I can muster. I’m all out of sorts with this bizarre, half-power outage, all my family being home for too long, not-holiday. I need Colorado Bulldogs.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I know my boss’ sister lives in Houston and she’s been calling her non-stop. My boss is like, what do you want me to do about it? I know it’s not funny but, the way she says it makes me laugh. Thankfully we haven’t had any major glitches happen thank God. But I have a friend in Missouri that hasn’t had heat in almost a week!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So much to unpack here. First… snow in Texas makes my little Yankee ass sing. Are you loving the rarity of it, or are you cursing the frozen pipes?
    Second…. men are babies when they’re sick. All of them. Doesn’t matter how old. My husband gets a sniffle and wants to be waited on hand and foot. I come home from a full abdominal hysterectomy and have to cook dinner.
    Third…. I can feel the bruiser’s shame from here. Those cones are pure evil. And comedic gold.
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, as of today no pipes have frozen or busted because of it, so I’ll say it’s just an annoyance when there’s snow here. Because 1) I’m not a kid anymore to want to romp around in the snow and have fun 2) because people here are so stupid they think a little snow is going to cause EVERYTHING to close down AND cause black ice…

      Black ice….seriously…BLACK FUCKING ICE???? There is no snow anymore let alone “black ice” because it’s all melted!!!! *insert face palm here*….

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, to be fair…. black ice is horrible. And virtually invisible, until you hit a patch at full speed.
        I have a friend outside of Dallas whose pipes froze and is out of power. Can’t imagine what would happen down there if you really got walloped.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. We had a fight club years ago who had the exact same issue. Bitten ear, scratched to abscessed infection, vet visit, cone. His was bright blue and we laughed our asses off watching him bounce off the walls trying to walk down the hall. It was so wrong, it was right.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Well good sir, that’s because your up north in Massachusetts and snow sticks to the ground up yonder. Here….it’s a watery, muddy mess and that’s hours after the snow fall if the sun comes out…lol

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  3. We got 8 inches of that crap all the way across the state from you! It’s actually my fault. A couple of weeks ago I was thinking about landing the RV in VanHorn so I could go hike up to Guadalupe peak. Not happening in this weather!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. One December around ’92, ’93,, my friend and I drove his BMW from San Francisco to San Antonio, 1700 miles in 24 hours, cutting east on I-10. A blizzard had struck the El Paso area, so if you got off the Interstate, they weren’t letting you back on. As I had experience with snow driving, I took the wheel and guided us through the snow (on his high-performance tires, you know?) past cars parked on the shoulders on either side. What a trip.

    Big Alan T. fan. See extensive teasers of the show. Planning to wait for them all to air so I can binge it. That’s how I watch.

    Poor Charlie. Been there, done that with the Orange Boyz about fifteen years ago. Treated their wounds myself, though, cleaning them each night. Big ol’ Pogo was on my wife getting some affection. He shook his head. She heard a snap and was suddenly sprayed with pus and such. Ugh. He healed well, though.

    Stay warm and safe. Cheers

    Like

    1. A BMW in the snow? Wow, that must have been quite the trip, yikes! But, this last time it wasn’t that bad, seriously it snowed Sunday all day, but Monday morning it had started to melt. Everyone is like…”Oh we’re going to be closed, its dangerous out there. There’s black ice out there.” I’ve never, in my entire 50 years of living here have I seen or heard of anyone encountering black ice.

      The Fur babies do get a bit spoiled when they are sick don’t they? Well at least Charlie does, and he’s not even my cat! lol

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Aw, poor Charlie Bear! But you and I are on the same wavelength because I just wrote about Russians! Hope you’re staying warm–you’d be shocked if I showed you a pic of how much snow we have up here!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, we’re they White Russians? 🤣
      It’s always warm here no matter what the weather is, it’s laughable how people here make half an inch of snow a “thing.” Isn’t to bed last night and it was 68 degrees. This morning it’s 48, there’s no snow, no humidity, nothing. I can’t speak for the rest of Texas though, from what I hear it’s a clusterfuck.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. There’s so much here but I have to focus on the fact that you’re the only other person I know watching Resident Alien, and, yes, it is hilarious, and, yes, it just keeps getting better every week and I don’t know why people aren’t freaking out about it. I’m also pretty sure my wife has a crush on Alan Tudyk but the show’s so damn funny I don’t mind.
    At least it sounds like your son isn’t playing the clarinet like Squidward so there is that.
    And I’m glad you had the vodka to help you make it through the freeze. You must have gotten the good vodka too–as a friend of mine would say, $10 vodka and $50 vodka taste exactly the same–the difference is how you feel the next morning.
    I know The Dude in his wisdom prefers White Russians but Black Russians always remind me of one of my favorite bits:

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Am I really the only other person you know watching Resident Alien? We need to get more people on the RA/Alan Tudyk bandwagon here. As for your wife’s crush, on him, I can see why but not to worry, it’s only in our minds, lol.

    I forgot that bit from the Naked Gun, Leslie Nielson was hilarious, I loved him. My son’s better and back at work now, thank goodness. So after my son drank all the Coca-Cola I had for my Colorado Bulldogs, I found a better drink. Kahlua and Ginger Ale, yes it sounds weird but, it’s totes delish, just like Resident Alien, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! lol

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  8. You should see me with a bottle of Kahlua Mudslide, woman! Lol. I’m glad Charlie got all fixed up and is staying inside now. I sure worry less about mine since they have a catio and can go no further. Maybe one of your sons can build Charlie a catio, even a window catio. I’ve seen some great plans online. I’m glad you got through the cold spell. We almost didn’t!! Lol. You know that story. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh sista, let me tell you, I’ve since gone through three bottles of Kahlua, lol. Because I’ve found another drink I love, it’s called Kahlua and ginger ale, I know it doesn’t good but believe me it’s totes delish!
      As for Charles, my sons starting the process of qualifying for a house. But I’ve laid claim to the Bruiser. Told him if he gets a house I’ll take Charlie and when I get my house I’ll build him a catio.

      Liked by 1 person

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