It’s that time boys and girls to introduce the array of characters that I have to deal with as my bosses EA. I’ve already mentioned Fake Mimi, Fake Dolly, Fake Roseanne, Buzz McCallister, Fake Carol and Fake April (who did us a favor and left this place. So now without further ado, I introduce….
StayPuft EA – She is the EA for the dean of the Dental School, and was in our suite for a while after I got hired. Why StayPuft you ask? Because she’s a pretentious bitch who thinks she’s smarter than all of us, and is nice to our face but goes and talks shit behind out backs. So, given her stature and, ahem, extra bulge/tire/fat she carries, as well as the way she walks across campus (I can see her from my view at the top) she looks like the StayPuft Marshmallow Man from the first Ghostbusters film…
Chucky Jr – She is the even more pretentious, rude, bitch asshole admissions and recruitment for the dental school. Her nickname is Syd, and ever time I hear Syd, I think of Syd that Sloth from the Ice Age movies. But then she cut her hair and painted it a Ronald McDonald red, and now she looks like Chucky from the horror movies. So, she’s been named Chucky Jr., because of the fact that she look just as ugly as Chucky does and has the personality of a plastic doll. The Dental school people seem to think they are literally “the shit” when it comes to being on campus. And they are far from it, a few weeks back I was asked (by my boss) to help StayPuft with some documents she needed to submit to human resources. She claims to be so smart and I was amazed at just how stupid she is. She’s worked here for three years in this capacity and she didn’t know that procedures for any of the things she was asking my help on. I did it myself, then sent it to her and told her to use it as a guide for further HR submissions. She kept calling and emailing me but I never responded. I told my boss that I wasn’t going to respond because I knew she wanted more help and I just didn’t have the inclination or the time to do it. Then Supervisor told my boss that the dental school people had to do things on their own, that’s why they hired all of those so-called “experts” to run the school. Yeah experts my ass the only thing they know how to do is act like they know what they’re doing.
Fake Jar-Jar Binks – This woman is incredible, and I don’t mean that in a good way. She’s the administrator for one of the clinics on campus. I use to work in this particular department and she is a complete and utter idiot. She got hired a little after I did, and she felt inadequate because she didn’t have a degree. She’s actually a bit younger than I am but you can’t see that because she’s but ugly and her attitude is total shit. For example, she didn’t get along with the associate administrator because the associate admin had been there longer and knew a lot more. And after Jar-Jar insulted the associate admin, they began to fight, literally and though emails, jabbing each other whenever they could. No, it’s not right but the associate admin knew much more about how the department was run. And not it a bad or self-absorbed kind of way, only that she’d been there for eight year prior to Jar-Jar being hired. Jar-Jar took this as the associate admin thinking she was better than her, and yes, she was.
But Fake Jar-Jar had an ego the size of a small compact car and the brain the size of a lentil. So her tiraid of revenge began, alienating people she needed/needs, insulting others, forcing write-ups on people who she deemed friends of associate admin (even after associate admin left) and making those that were still in touch with associate admin lives a living hell. She once told me that I wasn’t needed in the department, so I told the department I was actually under what she had said and my manager at the time made sure that our director knew about it. To make a long story short, I was told that I didn’t have to listen to her because Jar-Jar wasn’t my supervisor. So I’ve been on her hit list ever since, until that is I got hired here, you see my boss oversees the administrators, so that makes my boss her boss. And I get the pleasure of returning things to Jar-Jar with comments about her inept writing, her using words out of context and letting her know that nothing she submits is going to be sent to my boss for review or approval unless she does what I ask her to do. My boss is okay with that, which I love and it’s not in a malicious way either. Just establishing protocols and procedures which should be followed by everyone under my boss.
COVID Vaccinations Here at Our Institution
So I’ve been helping with registration and information taking for the COVID vaccine for the first responders and front line workers here at my institution. It’s been hectic, we’ve had several people from the general public try to sneak themselves in. And some from our own institution claiming to be “frontline workers.” Which clearly they are not, for example, we had two ladies from the veterinary lab come in and start yelling that they are front line workers. Supervisor was trying to calm them down to no avail, so I walked up and told her to let me handle it. And handle it I did, the Huntress way, you see these two supposed frontline worker bitches are veterinary lab assistants. They don’t deal with students, faculty or even staff. They are all alone up in the fourth floor of the research building behind a keypad lock, no one can get in or out. I know this because I worked in research and know exactly who these two trouble makers are. So Supervisor stepped away and I told them to calm down and then one of them started yelling at me that it’s her right as a frontline worker to get her COVID vaccine. So, I treated them exactly how they treated us. I said “No you are NOT frontline workers, you have NO contact with students, faculty or staff. You are both in an isolated lab that you can’t get into unless you know the combination to the key pad on the door! So, you can either wait until the vaccine is available to general staff or I can report you to campus police AND Dr. Research (not his real name) and let him know that two of his employees are trying to scam their way into getting the vaccine before the staff is authorized to do so. Also, DON’T EVER TRY TO COMPARE YOURSELVES TO REAL FRONLINE WORKERS, it’s AN INSULT TO THE ONES IN THE EMERGENCY ROOMS, CLINICS, FIRE DEPARTMENTS AND POLICE. You should be ashamed of yourselves, frontline workers my ass, now go back to your lab and wait until the staff are told to get vaccinated. By the way, I’m making sure your names are keep on the list of those that gave us trouble!”
They genuinely looked surprised, then one of them said “You can’t deny us the vaccine, we’re going to report you to the department of health.” I said “Go right ahead and report us, and when it comes time to have you annual evaluation I will let Dr. Research know that you were not only insubordinate you reported the institution for which you work for to the health department, just because you didn’t get your way. Remember ladies, don’t bite that hand that feeds you, no one here is irreplaceable!” They looked at me again with surprise on their faces, then turned and walked away in a huff. My boss and supervisor stared at me, then my boss asked me if I knew them. I told her I did, and knew they weren’t the so-called front line workers they claimed to be, fucking bitches. Seriously, people are stupid and they just seem to get even more stupid as this pandemic gets deeper into a second year. Well, that’s all for now, this is the Huntress and remember…..
Don’t be a moth around a dim, yellow bulb. Be a moth to the flame, make it worth the burn!