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Things Happening in the Huntress’ World

First a few comments on the my featured image: Mr. Sherman Hemsley was my neighbor (on the nice side of the street I live on) for about six years before he passed away. I’d see him at the Albertson’s, at the Verizon store and as he took his morning walks around the neighborhood. He was a genuinely humble and good person, he talked to everyone who went up to talk to him. He never said no when asked for an autograph. God Bless Mr. Hemsley, now on with the news!

The Huntress is “Movin’ on Up”… least to a 5th floor office with a mini-fridge and new executive furniture that is.  We’re finally moving into the new building after being told that we were to move in July, then Sept, then finally they told us mid-December.  So, now we’ve been instructed to pack up our current offices so that on Weds the IT gang (two rude guys with attitude) could move our computers in the afternoon.  I didn’t really didn’t think I’d have much to pack up, but working with my boss I’ve amassed quite a few binders and files.  But, in the new building I’ll have a bigger office, with a view of the landscaped quad as well as the reserved parking space I have.

We’ve been trying to do as much as we can so that when Weds rolls around we are pretty much set to start working from our new offices.  Then….Fake Mimi sends us all an email that she is going to have surgery at the end of December and she will “have to know” who is going to cover for her.  I was livid, and I know I shouldn’t be but her attitude is so condescending and narcissistic.  The thing is, she isn’t aware she’s being that way.  For instance, a couple of weeks back she came into my office to ask me about a federal grant that the Associate Vice Provost wanted her to work on.  She was giving me the low down about what this woman wanted and I told her what federal grants allowed and what they didn’t.  Then she left and came back two hours later to ask more questions.  I helped her and told her she needed to let my old department know what this person wanted to do.  Because it sounded a bit shady to me. 

Then the very next day she came in bragging about how she balanced her budget and had money to spare and that she told her boss and he was happy and shit, and then made the following comment…

“Everyone knows that I’m like, the finance queen in this suite, with the exception of the VP for Finance and CFO” and that pissed me off.  So my reply?

“So what your saying is, that everyone else in this office is shit at finance even though, all OF US HAVE MASTERS DEGREES, with the exception of yourself, RIGHT?”  She just looked at me and began to stutter….”Well…no, no that’s, that’s not what I was saying.  I, I was trying to say…”

I cut her off and said “You know what Fake Mini, I don’t care what your explanation is, you implied that you’re the only one that can work wonders in finance and that the rest of us, with the exception of Fake Carol, are idiots when it comes to money.  And if you’re the finance queen, you should have known about the guidelines for that federal grant you needed help with a couple of weeks ago, right?” 

She stared at me from behind her mask and just stood there in my office door way like a fucking deer in headlights.

Then I told her “Oh, by the way Ms. Finance Queen, everyone knows that if you have money left over at the end of the fiscal year, they cut your budget by exactly that amount for the next.”  She just kept blinking at me until I got up and pushed her out of my office and closed the door.  Seriously who in the fuck says stupid things like that?!?!  Oh wait, Fake Mimi does, that self-absorbed stupid bitch….Ugh!

I’ve had about enough of Fake Mimi and I’m glad she’ll be out on her surgery for the 8 weeks and won’t have to see her stupid face until the beginning of February.  Because I seriously want to punch her in her Finance Queen Face.

Fake Carol and Her Horrid Holiday Jewelry

As mentioned before we’re all moving, and Fake Carol has been coming in all decked out in holiday garb. Which for a VP is quite tacky to be honest, she wears bells in her ears, around her neck and on her wrist. Which makes her sound like a goddamned Pomeranian jumping up and down wanting attention. We’ve all begun to close our office doors to keep the “jingle-jangle” noise at a minimum because she has horrible taste in jewelry, clothes, nail polish and art. She purchased some art pieces for her new office and they are, to say the least, horrible to look at. Imposter rolls her eyes when Fake Carol asks if they are pretty. Or what she thinks, and my boss rolls her eyes at her mere presence. I actually feel sorry for Imposter, she makes her do some stupid shit, like record her meetings because the bitch is too stupid to press the big red record button on Webex. Or have her go down to her car to take stuff out of her truck to bring back up to her office. She’s often asked her to make copies of something only to revise it and waste even more paper.

And she walks in making sure that EVERYONE notices what she’s wearing because she’s fishing for compliments. It’s hard to compliment someone who has horrible fashion sense, I mean faking it once or twice but every goddamned morning is quite a feat. One can only lie for so long before it backfires on you. But Fake Carol is a lot like Fake Mimi, they have no filter, they act entitled and they believe they know everything about, well everything. When they are the most lost and undelighted of the entire office, ugh it gets annoying. I’m losing my patience with both of them and Fake Carol isn’t even my boss and I don’t work directly with Fake Mini either.

It’s their manner that offends, like Fake Mimi came in this morning with hints of purple and teal in her hair…..IN HER FUCKING HAIR!! The thing is, she’s got jet black hair and unless you have light colored hair it just makes it look…..stupid. So those are the things that are happening in the Huntress’ world this week. I know I’ve been MIA for a while but I’m trying to get my writing mojo going again. Hopefully I can get there sooner than later.

This is The Huntress saying Stay Safe and Wear Your Mask!!

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

12 thoughts on “Things Happening in the Huntress’ World

  1. Oh, you always leave me laughing and grinning. Jesus, yes, the budget. NEVER BRING IT UNDER. Figure out a few months before how much you project to have left, then spend it! That’s a universal thing. Enjoy the new office! Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Is it mean to suggest that Fake Mimi have her mouth sewn shut when she has her surgery? Lol.

    Will that bigger office include bigger spaces between all the other offices so you won’t be bothered by all the Fakers there? Wait…then you’d never write about them all and I find it quite amusing!

    You won’t have to share that mini fridge, will you? Stock it with Mudslide! Haha!

    I think it’s pretty cool that Sherman Hemsley lived near you. He was a funny guy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that some of my best material comes from the people that annoy me the most, lol. I do have a bigger office, and now we have Fake Aprils replacement whom I’ll call Fake Dolly Parton, not for the obvious, but she teases her hair sky high and I’m thinking, is that really a good look for someone who just hit 40? lol

      I don’t have to share my mini fridge, it’s mine all mine! And I’m way ahead of you in thinking I could stock it with some Mudslides, lol. But I think Kahlua would be less obvious in coffee, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was in mid-move when we all went home in March. I am still in mid-move. I usually work from my old cube when I go in to the office. I usually get to work blissfully alone all day too as everyone else works from home.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Blissfully isn’t a word or emotion I’ve come to know in this job Jason, lol. At least not yet anyway, it’s been chaotic the last two weeks that’s for sure. Hope you and your family are staying safe and have a happy holiday season.


      1. I do get peppers online all day long, but I can usually wait a few minute to respond to that to finish whatever I am doing. This is better than someone coming up to my desk and interrupting me. So, that is much better.

        I don’t go anywhere so I am as safe as I can be.

        Liked by 1 person

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