Have You Ever Wondered…..

What real life would be like if we could live it as though in a movie?

This post came about because I’ve had a lot of stuff happen in the last two weeks that got me thinking, why can’t my life be like a movie?  Yes, I know it sounds a bit odd, but I think we’ve all had that feeling, and sometimes we just want to have the day we’ve been having end, by having credits roll at the end and maybe a post credit scene like in Deadpool, where Ryan Reynolds mimics Ferris Buller at the end of that movie.  Okay yes is sounds confusing but my nerves (not to mention my patience) are coming to a car crash, flying through the air in slow motion, shooting paint ball at my enemies, while looking devastatingly on point movie scene end……see what I did there?

So, pan back to my life two weeks ago before the clusterfuck of issues came about in helping this homeless mom and son started.  I’m sitting in my office, happy as a motherfucking clam (how can you tell when a clam is happy by the way?  Like do they laugh out loud or what the fuck?) and then I got the message from my son asking if I had any blankets to donate to this family.  I’ll leave it at that because I’m so done with this situation and my son’s now ex-girlfriend.  Then as I began to focus solely on my job again, I get hit with some asshole physician and a department administrator that are terrorizing their department.

My boss is now in charge of HR and she’s been in charge of clinical administration, so the complaints have come through to her.  I’ve worked in this department previously, so I know what a total hell hole that bunch of pit vipers are like.  I count my lucky stars that I got out there and into the research side when I did.  I have no doubt I’d be one of the ones complaining as well.

As I began to reflect on my life this year (which has been a complete shit-show, just like the current Baboon in the White House’s Presidency) I couldn’t help but wonder, what if we could decide to have our bad and good days, weeks, years end or begin like a movie?

You know have that good days end with wind blowing through our hair, walking in slow motion as we high fived everyone walking past us and getting into our cars and driving away blasting our favorite song on the radio?  Or if our emotional state would be introduced to those around us by the soundtrack of our mood? For example, Fake April has been, thus far acted just okay and that’s because we all found out that she’d applied for and I believe have gotten a job with the new dental school here.  A little background on the “dental school”, they are fairly new and honestly a bunch of fucking asshole morons who walk around like they own the damned place and yet, they have no actual student’s enrolled.  Yeah, I don’t know how we can have a dental school with no students, go figure?

Anyway, Fake April applied for a coordinator position with the zombies from the dental school, and I call them zombies because the dean and the associate dean are like 105 years old.  They are arrogant as are the people they hired to work for them.  They, along with their “staff” make the dental school a total of six people…..six arrogant, self-entitled, ignorant of how things run, always asking for help, can’t do shit on their own, useless…..….people.

They use to be in our floor, in our actual suite but they recently moved into the new building which they narcissistically call the “Dental building” not realizing it’s not.  They haven’t brought in any actual revenue in order for them to lay claim to anything on campus, but that’s how narcissistic they are.   The building is actually called the research and sciences building and our office will be moving in there as well.  But, the President’s suite will be on the 5th floor and the Dental Zombies will be on the 2nd, which is still not far enough for me.

But I digress so Fake April is pretty sure she’s got the job, and I’m hoping she does because that would make all of us ecstatic! But last week she pissed me off, and when that happened I could hear and feel my anger soundtrack start up…….for all of those wondering, it’s Metallica’s Enter Sandman…..

As I went down the hall from my office to the front desk, the guitar strings began as my slow motion walk started…then the percussion……..followed by the electric guitar….then…..BOOM the lyrics start….

Blah, blah, blah……..”Somethings wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight and they aren’t of snow white”…..you little conniving bitch!

I had asked her to order a new battery for the almost new laptop in the conference room because the dental zombies fucked it up by not using it the way they should have.  The President had a Webex meeting he needed to attend and the laptop didn’t work, he was not happy.  So I asked her to order a replacement battery after the IT guys gave us a quote.  But she didn’t and the president had another online meeting and the fucking thing didn’t work again!  I called her up front and asked her why she hadn’t (at this point it had been three weeks) and her response? “Oh…I forgot”…..she forgot, the little bitch fucking forgot!!

Hence my slow motion, angry as fuck, Metallica soundtrack playing in the background (okay only in my head) while I walked up to the reception area and tore her a new one.  If the president gets angry because the laptop that supposed to be at his disposal for his online meetings doesn’t work, the little bitch should have ordered it!!

We’ve all had those moments of anger or happiness that warrant a soundtrack or movie credits.  Imagine having credits after a successful meeting that you presented in and totally hit it out of the park, mine would be something like this…….

Kick Ass Presentation

Writer……………………………….The Huntress

Producer……………………………..The Huntress

Executive Producer………………………………The Hunterss

Director of Badassedness…………………………The Huntresss

Music……………………………………Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan

Director of Photography……………………….The Huntress

Editor………………………………………….The Huntress

Production Designer…………………….Charlie Bruiser O’Houlihan

Lead Editor……………………………………..The Huntress

Staring

Kick Ass Executive Associate…………………………………The Huntress

The President……………………………….President Cutie Pie

Vice President of Awesome……………………………………….Muh Boss

Co-worker…………………………………………………….Imposter Huntress

Co-worker #2……………………………………………………….Supervisor

Annoying Fake Laugh VP……………….Imposter Huntress’ Boss

SPECIAL THANKS TO…..

Our Departmental IT guys for their support and help at not fucking up the audio for this production.

A very SPECIAL thanks to the Zombie Dental School for moving out so we didn’t have to share our donuts and coffee…….you zombie bastards.

Of course because I use the free Word Press blog, I can’t actually upload a freaking power point or video to my blog without converting to the business account. My blog doesn’t get that much traffic to warrant me paying $205 a year just to be able to install plugins that could help with the uploading of my own videos and such. So y’all are going to have to use your imagination and pretend the credits above are scrolling.

This is The Hunteress…….Stay safe and wear your mask!

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

12 thoughts on “Have You Ever Wondered…..

  1. I have put the odd video on a Vimeo account for free and linked to it with my blog. It worked well enough.

    With power point you can actually output a video file of your presentation. I did this for training people a few times.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! Very funny. You can upload a video to YouTube and mark it as unlisted, then embed the link in your blog so that only people that read the blog will be able to see it. That’s what I do.

    Liked by 1 person

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