Charlie: Hmm, hmm, hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmm……
Me: Why are you humming that tune….again?
Charlie: Meow know this, Beastie Boys, Sure Shot….it helps my concentration with catching the feathered flying creatures that want to kill me.
Me: They don’t want to kill you….okay only Ralph’s family wants to kill you but they can’t. Because your too big for them to kill.
Charlie: *sings out loud* “Meow you can’t, you won’t, and you don’t stop. Meow you can’t, you won’t, and you don’t stop, well meow you can’t, you won’t and you don’t stop…..Charlie Bruiser…coming to rock the sure shot”
Me: Alright already with that song, it’s burned into my head.
Charlie: Meow hush human, your ruining my mood. I have to get ready to go out and declare war on all of the feathered flying creatures.
Me: All of the birds Charlie? But why?
Charlie holds up his front leg and gives me the paw, all the while he’s texting. Seriously I know cats have attitude and he’s not even my cat!
Stupid things people say
Last year in August, El Paso suffered a mass shooting, and it was devastating to our community. Although El Paso isn’t considered a big city, it still hit home for many of us. So this year in August the university, on the one year anniversary of this tragedy, we had a small ceremony at the university where I work to commemorate. We were all asked to wear our El Paso Strong shirts that day, and to leave our offices and join everyone (in social distancing mode of course) on the lawn for three minutes of silence. As we were all walking out in our masks, Fake April said something that completely infuriated me…..
The Provost: Is everyone ready?
My Coworker: We’re waiting on two people.
The President: Okay is everyone here?
Fake April: *begrudgingly gets up to go* Oh man, I didn’t wear my El Paso Strong shirt….what’s the point of going down?
Me: *angry as fuck*…..the point is to remember those that died in the shooting you empty headed waste of space!!!
My boss: *grabs me by the arm, walks me back down the hall* Okay I think we need to calm down here….
Me: I’m sorry but seriously, that airhead NEVER thinks before she speaks! This, today isn’t about a goddamned t-shirt!!
My boss: I know it makes you angry, and we all know she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, that is obvious by how she acts every single day.
Supervisor: Hey, I’ve talked to Fake April, she’s not going down with us. Are you okay? I’ve told her to stay up here and answer the phones.
Me: Yes, I just hate stupidity, ignorance and sheer insensitivity of that magnitude….
As I walked past Fake April’s reception desk, she didn’t look at me, she just look at her computer screen. I guess the truth hurt, when I called her an empty headed waste of space. The small ceremony went off without a hitch, it was sad and many of us cried over remembering what happened one year ago that day.
More stupid things people say….
Over the weekend, I was watching a documentary on the great cathedrals of the world, and although the Sistine Chapel isn’t a cathedral, I did remember something about my ex-husband. The mofo would call it the “Sixteenth” chapel. Yes that drove me crazy, it was like grammatical nails on a chalkboard. He also use to say that our Pontiac Grand Prix was a “Grand Pricks.” Yeah, the only grand prick was him….
I haven’t heard from my friend Veronica, I wonder if that’s a good thing? But that’s because I was always the one that sent her good morning messages. Sometimes she’d answer, but most of the time she wouldn’t. That is, until she needed something from me, so I stopped texting her. It’s been two weeks. This is my short and sweet post.
P.s….have I mentioned how much I hate this block editor in WP? No? Okay so now you know.
Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This the Huntress, over and out!