My adventures with my new job, apparently are just beginning. But that’s okay, I have a great boss as well as great mentor that works under my boss and is a kick ass woman who is willing to help me learn everything I need to in order to do my job. But, that’s another story entirely. So some of you are asking yourselves, “What’s up with the Blog Title?” First let me say….I FUCKING HATE THIS BLOCK EDITOR THAT WORDPRESS DECIDED TO SHOVE IN OUR FACES!!!!!!
Yes, there is a reason behind this title, but only because I got to thinking about the kind of people I attract as friends that made me wonder if it’s me, or them.
Back in July of last year I wrote a post about a dear friend of mine, who I’ve found isn’t the brightest bulb in the pack. But since then I’ve come to notice that, it’s just not the fact that she’s fucking needy as hell, but she’s goddamned lazy too….ugh! Below is the post I wrote about her being gaslit, gaslighted or however you say it, in July of 2019. You can read it here https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/thehuntress915.wordpress.com/958
This “friend” has been trying to land a job with the university I work for, it’s my fault really. I told her that there are so many jobs being posted she’s qualified for that she needed to apply. That’s when it happened, she began to ask me why she hasn’t been called for any interviews, why it’s taking so long to get her application noticed…blah, blah, blah. When I tell her that the pandemic has affected the way that HR works, she came back with “Well you got hired during the pandemic” and I said to her, yes I fucking did but not all departments work that way. What I’m taking away from all of this is, she’s literally expecting me to set her up with a job. I have a job with a Vice President but I don’t have that kind of power.
That’s when I began to wonder, do I REALLY want to be on the same campus as her? If she got hired, she’d know NOTHING about the internal processes of this university. Although we both worked at another state university together, this is a medical institution and there is nothing similar about them. I can imagine it now, being hounded by her daily, “Oh friend, can you teach me how to do this?” “Friend, can you show me how to access that?” “Friend, who do I talk to about this?” I’m seriously hoping she doesn’t get hired here, I can’t take that in my private life, let alone in my professional life. I hate neediness in people in general, it’s annoying and the clinginess of someone who’s needy is off putting. But neediness in a coworker is even worse, I fucking loath that kind of personality.
But what’s worse is that my “friend” is very passive/aggressive and I will not put up with that shit, because I’m aggressive/aggressive and when you’ve pushed my buttons past being patient, I will let loose all the fires in hell on you! So this is what last week was like….
Me: Hey Veronica I sent you some job postings for you to apply for, you need to do it soon because a couple of these will close on Friday.
Two days later I sent her a text to tell her to check her emails because I sent her a couple more postings.
Veronica: Why didn’t you tell me that you sent me an email with jobs I need to apply for?
Me: Do I have to fucking tell you to check your emails daily?!?! Seriously?!?!?!
Veronica: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bother you…
Me: Stop it with that shit I’m tired of it! No one had to tell me to look for jobs, I went out to find them. That’s how I got into the university in the first place! I didn’t have anyone to hold my hand the entire time!!
Veronica: I didn’t mean to bother you or make you mad. I’ll let you go.
Me: *stops texting her*
So what else bothers me about my friend is that when I text her or call her I don’t get a response. Not right away or when I call she sends me to voicemail, then I get a text asking if I needed anything. I text her that I need her to answer the phone, and of course she doesn’t call me back. So, is it me? Or am I right on about feeling that this person is yet another so-called friend I don’t need in my life?
Then I get a text last Monday that said: “Happy Monday! Is my friend still out there? Or is she disappeared?”
I was FURIOUS, because I text her all the time and I never get any responses from her. Then this happened, I text her back and told her that I was still here and it would be nice if she fucking acknowledged the emails I sent her with the job postings. Then this..
Veronica: The only messages I have from you are on 8/25, I don’t have anything after that.
Me: I’m talking about in general, the least you can do is email me back with a thank you or something. To know you at least saw the email.
Veronica: I’m sorry I don’t mean to bother you
Me:*not wanting to hurt her feelings* Just apply for the positions…
Veronica: Friend, can you send me a copy of your resume, PLEASE! So I can see if mine is up to par?
Me: Are you fucking serious? So what have you been uploading to the job site portal?!
Veronica: Well mine, but I want to see yours so I can see how yours is formatted.
Me: WORD has tons of resume templates, just use the one you’ve been using.
I’m sure she got her feelings hurt or got mad because I didn’t send her my resume. I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s wanting to use some of my experience for her resume. Now I’m not sure about this, but my gut instinct is seldom wrong.
Then two days later, stupidly I send her another two job postings via email…
Veronica: Hey friend, I just noticed that the required documents on the job portal call for a cover letter.
Me: Yes they do, it’s in the instructional part of the portal, and I thought you were doing that?
Veronica: Can you send me your cover letter template, PLEASE!
Me: Well no wonder you haven’t been getting called for interviews! You’re not even following direction as to how to apply for the fucking jobs!!!
Veronica: Well, I didn’t realize that I…
Me: I’m not sending you anything of mine, fucking go online and look for yourself. WORD has tons of templates for you to use. I didn’t have anyone to show me, to hold my hand, to tell me to read all the instructions on the job site portal!! I can’t believe this shit!
Veronica: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bother you…
Me: STOP saying that!! Because you say it and then you fucking bother me with shit like asking me to send you my resume and cover letter template! How in the fuck did you get so far in life by yourself?!!? Or have you really?
Now, I know how I come off sounding, but as I previously mentioned, I didn’t have nor need anyone to show me, hold my hand, or guide me in applying for this job or any other. I read the instruction, I make sure that I submit what I need to in order to make sure I comply with everything they asked me. I didn’t ask anyone for their resume or cover letter template, I found that shit on my own. So as a friend, I’ve helped her out as much as I can, other than applying for her, I am not sure what else I can do? The neediness that emanates from her is not only off putting but it’s annoying as fuck and I’m seriously tired of it.
Her birthday is in December, and this past year I bought her a beautiful pair of Blue Topaz drop earrings, something like the picture below.
And not once has she worn them, and when I’ve asked her why, her response is that she doesn’t want to lose them and that there isn’t anywhere special for her to wear them to. She showed me a pendant her father had given her a couple of Christmas’ ago, which matched the earrings I gave her perfectly, and she’s never worn that since her dad gave it to her either. Claiming the same fucking excuse. I’m seriously tired of having to constantly be the one to send her a text, inquire how she’s doing, ask if she’d like to get together (before this COVID shit hit) etc. I’m also tired of her not answering my phone calls and responding via a text when I do. If I wanted to text you I’d send you a text and NOT FUCKING CALL!!!
So, I’m seriously thinking of cutting cord yet again with this friend whom I’ve known since 2012, because I don’t have the energy to put into a friendship that seems to be a one way street. There I said it, and although I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, I know that I’m resourceful enough to not impose or ask other friends to help me in situations that one can obviously do myself, like writing my resume or cover letter. So, is it me?
Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This the Huntress, over and out!