The Higher the Mountain the Uglier the Trolls, Bitches and Wannabe Bosses…..

It’s been going on seven weeks since I began my new gig, and thus far I’m in heaven.  With the occasional run in with Buzz McCallister and the Impostor Huntress.  But the Impostor has actually been calm, for now.  In any case, I don’t know if I mentioned but I support two people, one is my very lovely boss the VP.  And the other is the Chief of Staff, who reports directly to the President.  I’ve had a hard time trying to figure her out, she’s very stone faced and reserved.  She hardly cracks a smile and when she does, it’s an actual surprise.  So because she is the Chief of Staff supports the President as well, her job is just as important as the VP I work with.  So with that being said, she has to deal with a lot of human resource issues.  Even though the Impostor Huntress support the VP for HR.

In doing so, she or should I say “we” deal with a horrible little troll who works in HR, and since I have to work with him now.  This motherfucker is in charge of employee training and development.  That’s all he does, since HR is primarily working from home, there is no one in the office.  And he, I’m assuming has no one to train, but that’s just an assumption.  So he was recruited to help the Chief of Staff with a project, and this project was the inception of the university’s President.  It is going to take plenty of man hours, or in this case woman hours and one troll and whatever he thinks he can do.  This mofo is a manager, and constantly complains about having to help us out.   And I do mean constantly, this asshole is what I consider the king of whiners.  Every time an email is sent out with instructions or requests for this project, he emails me (privately) and complains.  I’m about at the end of my ever fraying rope with this asshole.  If anyone’s seen the movie Legend with Tom Cruise, there is a troll/monster that is just hideous.  It’s name is Blix, I say “it” because this HR manager acts like this slimy, sleazy, double dealing mofo.

He’s short, hunchbacked, and talks with a nasally whine.  He has a real name of course, but for this blogs purposes we’ll call him Blix.

Blix from Human Resources

In any case this “manager” is in charge of employee development training’s, and right now since he’s working from home, does he have actual training’s to conduct?  He’s not a technical wiz so I know he’s not conducting online training or doing over the phone development training’s either.  He was recruited to help with the data collection for this project, and every time he calls or emails me, it’s the same thing, whining about having to help us out.  Finally I told him “You work at the pleasure of the President, therefore you will help us out because he asked your director to pick someone to help, and I don’t want to hear you complain about this anymore.”  I haven’t heard from him since, I think he thought I’d sympathize with his “plight” of having to do some intensive data collection.  But hey, I do to and no, it’s not an easy job, but I have to do it nonetheless.

Then there is our front desk receptionist, she reminds me of April, the creepy intern from the sitcom Parks and Recreations.  It’s probably because she has an uncanny resemblance to her, and just as cynical, rude and annoying.

She actually thinks she’s smarter than everyone else, of course she’s not because if she were they would have let apply for my position.  Something she’s told me over and over and over to the point I want to stab her in the neck with a pencil and watch her skinny ass bleed out onto the reception area carpet, until it soaks through and her lifeless body lies there pale and DEAD!  She’s made it a point to tell others how she was “cheated” out of my job because she believes she is talented enough to do what I do.

Yes she does, so why is she a receptionist? Because she couldn’t get a job as a stripper because of her unsightly bony ass….

Being the support for a VP and the Chief of Staff is not an easy job, it demands a lot of time, attention to detail and patience (I know that my patience runs short, but I have to try either way) something she lacks.  She’s so stupid that she talks to one of the other associates from a different division of our university about me.  I’ve heard her, and when Impostor Huntress first told me to watch out for this sneaky, backstabbing, bony assed bitch, I thought for sure she was just being over-dramatic and narcissistic.  But, I hate to say this, Impostor Huntress was right about this Fake April, she really does believes she’s smarter than everyone else, including my two bosses, which of course she is not.  I thought about this quote below by Raymond Chandler, one of my favorite mystery writers, and thought I’d include it to describe Fake April.

“You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.”
― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye

If she were she’d know not to talk about me to where I will find out about it.  AND I’ve caught her eavesdropping in on my conversations with my VP.  I just about lost it, when I walked out and saw her standing right outside my VP’s office door.  I let her know that just because I’m new, doesn’t mean I won’t put her in her place if she keeps doing stupid shit like that.  She’s friends with another idiot that I deal with in another department whom also thought he should have my job.  The thing is, these types of people want to be a boss, without all the hard work and sacrifice it takes to move up in your career.  They have this “they are smarter than everyone else, so therefore they deserve to be a boss” kind of bullshit mentality.

I let my boss know how Fake April is acting and she said “Yeah, Fake April doesn’t have what it takes to be an associate administrator, I think she couldn’t handle any kind of fiscal responsibility like the clinic budgets, the physician call pay and other money issues (which is something I have to do) what is she thinking? I would have fired her before her probation was over.  Not that she’d make it past the application phase.”  my boss actually said to me, she also added that she’s not too fond of Fake April either.

On a positive note, my son (we) finally finished his math class, and I can’t tell you how absolutely over the moon I am at NOT having to go home and do or think about MATH! I just hope to God he gets a passing grade because I can’t go through this another 7 weeks…ugh kill me now.

*I edited my post because one of my readers pointed out a lot of my grammatical mistakes and run on sentences.  Or how I repeated somethings…..are you happy now Dave? Not his real name but, Dave it is…..

Dave doesn’t actually have a blog, he just reads mine for, the chuckles as he put it.

Stay safe everyone, and WEAR YOUR MASK!! This is one angry and worried Huntress, over and out!