I’m going to be honest here, this post WAS NOT going to be about the CORVID-19 and the mass hysteria and now the Stupocalypse that it’s caused. Because lets face it, if this were the end of the world as we know it, the stupid people hoarding toilet paper, hand sanitizer and Clorox will be the very first to go. Those of us who were smart enough not to panic because we weighed the facts over myth and panic, can then wait for the Walking Stupid to die and we can raid their homes for the TP, hand sanitizer and Clorox for ourselves. I’m talking the cream of the crop stupid, check out this news report from Charlotte, North Carolina warning people NOT to drink bleach! Seriously, it would be the end of civilization as we know it if we had to depend on the Walking Stupid (who drink bleach apparently). To which I’m going to include the cable media, it’s ridiculous how bad they over-exaggerate things. Okay yes they do have informative things to offer, but I digress….
Back to the current social and medical conditions affecting our country, because I work in a medical school, the faculty members of the Infectious Diseases unit, came down to lecture us on the what, when, who and where of the COVID-19 situation.
I’m not going to sit here and get all technical, medical or statistical about the aspects of this virus, because I’m not a physician. I do, however work with people who are, and some of them are experts in infectious diseases and when they tell me, to go about my day and try not to get sick, I’ll listen. They also said to keep up with, if not be more aware of our sanitary routines such as washing our hands, covering out mouths when we cough and sneeze and making damned sure that we wash all the produce you buy from anywhere. Because this virus is passed from person to person, someone who has contracted it, can touch almost anything and pass it on. They recommend to wipe down the door knobs in our house, and try not to touch the railings on stairwells in public places and such. Okay my OCD already keeps me from touching the railings on public stairs as well as the buttons in elevators and stuff. I wash my hands so often its bordering on obsession but I know I’ll be a lot more careful than most people out there. Anyway, if these experts are telling me to go about my daily life as normal, I’m going to listen. Oh and for those hypochondriacs out there, who love to take antibiotics for literally EVERYTHING, don’t!!!! Heres why, this is a VIRUS, antibiotics will not help you in this case because they are only prescribed for bacterial infections people!! And if you keep taking antibiotics even when you don’t need them, you will build up a tolerance for them and then when you need them, they won’t work! I can’t stress this enough, because the doctors in our department said so, and I’m going to listen.
I won’t go to Walmart or Target to buy out toilet paper in mass, as Dr. Raj said (yes that’s his real name) told us to stock up on things we’ll actually need if we have to stay home, such as broths, veggies, canned soups and such, things we can keep in the freezer. He also said to stock up on Gatorades and/or Pedialyte to prevent dehydration. But most of all he said to monitor our vital signs, like spikes in body temperature, sore throat, cough etc. Because the sooner we can spot these, the better the chances are for us to get treated and overcome this virus, if that is what we come down with. He also said calm, cool reasoning and facts will always overcome myths and mass hysterics, always. He also said that this virus isn’t airborne, one can only get it through person to person contact, and those who are over the age of 65 are more susceptible to catching this. As well as those who have respiratory issues such as COPD, asthma, bronchial suppression or other difficulties such as these. As well as immuno deficiency problems.
There have been two confirmations of the corona-virus here in El Paso. The mass hysteria that El Paso had been insulated from in the last couple of week had its bubble burst Thursday with an announcement from our University’s President, and mass departmental meetings were in full swing afterwards. My director called an “emergency departmental meeting” to inform us about what the protocol regarding this virus the University is going to put into place if things get bad.
Well guess what, the university doesn’t have any protocols for anything like this, because (this is purely my opinion) there isn’t anything anyone can do about this. Like when the Bird Flu/N1H1 and SARS hit, and everyone and their mothers were worried about contracting these. Lemmings/people gave into mass hysteria (again) and bought tons of hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, Lysol and masks (sound familiar?) So, our meeting was going okay until gawddamned fucking Baby Kermit started with her gerping. I sat there, trying not to throat punch her or pull her by ungodly long hair or grab her by her HUGE pointed nose, drag her out into the parking lot and stomp her ugly, gerping ass into a bloody puddle on the asphalt…..
My restraint was, to say the least, put to the test listening to not just her gerping but her stupid voice as well, she’s fucking 56 years old and she talks like a child, a high pitched, uneducated child, calling people “dude” and “bro.” When I say, people I mean faculty members and higher-ups. Anyway, our director told us that if the university decides to shut down we would have to work from home. I almost couldn’t contain my excitement, don’t get me wrong I do NOT want to work from home and definitely do not want anyone I know to get sick with this corona-virus thing (okay, one, one person and I’ll give you a hint, she fucking GERPS all damned day). Yes, yes I’m evil, tell me something I don’t know……
So they began to tell us what would happen if we did, we’d still have to work, the IT dept would give us secured access to our files and emails, and we’d have to submit time-sheets and stuff. But most importantly……I’D BE AT FUCKING HOME NOT LISTENING TO BABY KERMIT AND HER ANNOYING BODILY FUNCTIONS!!!! Let me tell you how bad this has gotten, not only am I looking for another job (and I love my job, okay I’d love more pay) but the other girls in the office complained to their supervisor, another director, about how distracting this noise is, our receptionist almost walked off the job on Thursday. Yes! It’s that bad, because Kermit’s office is right in front of the reception area, not only where our receptionist sits, but where visitors, dignitary’s, students that are interviewing for entrance into the medical school and faculty members from other departments sit and wait. Can you imagine what a horrid first impression people get from listing to this annoying bitch and her constant, loud, bullfrog throat clearing?!?! It’s insane, and if our receptionist walked out that morning not wanting to come back, then it’s really bad. The only thing I could find to sound like her nasty noise making is the video below, and in that respect I’m being really, really nice. But just imagine listening to this shit, all day long, and way worse than this….
So, her supervisor and the other girls in the office got together to go and complain to their director. Then one of the girls told me that their director was going to go talk to my director about this. It’s gotten to the point where she annoys people just by being around them, and they know the noise she makes. I hate her, seriously I do mean… HATE WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS kind of hate.
One person is making the majority of us uncomfortable, not to mention annoying us half to death and we are all coming up with all of these preconceived notion about her due to her horrid, dirty habit. Oh did I mention she dresses like a slob? No? Okay so we work in one of the Vice President’s offices, and when we’re hired, we’re told that we are required to wear “professional dress” and on Friday’s we are allowed to wear jeans, but they have to be tasteful in manner and professional casual. Kermit seems to really channel the 1970’s with her horrible taste in fashion. Yes I know what I sound like but if we’re all told we have to dress professionally, then why in the FUCK does she get away with dressing like she lives in a goddamned hippy commune?!?! Tie dyed, awful shirts/blouses, bell-bottom pants that seem to have come from the Goodwill and shoes that doctors and nurses wear in the OR’s? They look like Crocs but less attractive…ugh.
Yes this is what she wears while the rest of us wear business suit attire, dresses, heels or flats and/or slacks with button down blouses or shirts. This along with her unsightly, one length un-kept long hair, like Crystal Gayle only not as glamorous or as long, about below her flat ass. I mean, we’re held to a higher standard, why the hell isn’t she? I doubt that even if she tried to dress professional she’d fail. The only thing she’d look good in is a body bag! It just makes our already bad impression of her even worse. I know one shouldn’t judge someone on what they look like.
But after she got hired everything went downhill, professionally as a department and in attitude towards how most of us perceive her. And it all started with her annoying habit of her loud, annoying throat clearing. She has a fucking door in her office, I think why in the fuck doesn’t she doesn’t use it!?!?!
So if our University decides that we will have to work from home, I’ll be writing my blog in my pink/black polka-dot pj’s, comfy slippers, huge cup of coffee in hand and watching Lone Star 911 on Hulu.
And of course I’ll be working from home, I’m responsible enough to know I have to do what I need to in order to keep up with my professional responsibilities. And I will do so from the serene silence of my own home. But in between proposal prep and submissions I’ll watch Rob in his firefighter uniform, because if anyone can make me feel better, it’s watching Rob Lowe and his sexy 56 year old self….seriously the dude is hot for his age, lol.
This is the Huntress, remember this too will pass, over and out!