Please People, Tell Me The Difference Between Being Stupid or Just Naive……

Seriously, I’ve been contemplating this all weekend long because I get so frustrated with one of my friends because sometimes I’m sitting there in front of her after she tells me something important or that happened to her and my inside voice is just……”she’s your friend, don’t kill her, don’t kill her.”

This is what happened on Friday…..picture it, El Paso, it’s cold as fuck in the early morning hours of January 17th and my friend Veronica text me that she has a “flat” tire and is worried.  I respond and ask her if she’s okay.  I get a picture of her damned tire, which instantly infuriates me because that’s not what I asked her.

Veronica's Tire
Asked her if she was okay, sent me picture of her tire…..

So I text her again if she’s okay, and then nothing but silence for two hours.  I called her but the bitch sent me to voicemail.  So I thought to myself if she’s not answering she’s taking care of that flat tire.  It’s not until Friday night that she calls me back to tell me her “harrowing” story about how she got the flat tire and the “ordeal” she went through to get it fixed.

Apparently she had gone over to her new boyfriend’s house because he made dinner for her the night before, this is a new relationship and he lives on the opposite side of town.  So she drove her over there and apparently she must have caught something (it turned out to be a small sharp, screw like they use on construction sites) in her tire the night before.  But being either naïve or stupid, she didn’t feel her car driving any different that night.  It wasn’t until the next morning when she saw, she fucking SAW the low tire pressure light come on, but chose to ignore it.  Now she and I have the same make and model car.  Only hers is six years newer than mine, and the Ford Fusions are notorious for have bad tire pressure sensors, they go off even when you don’t have low tire pressure.  Or when there is a change in temperature, I’m talking NOTORIOUS!  I did my research online and with Ford.  Apparently the 2018-2019 models have fixed this problem but, that doesn’t help me or my friend who have a car older than that.  In any case, she continued to say that she ignored the tire pressure sensor and still decided to drive to work.  When my tire pressure sensor goes off (which is usually in my drive way, as soon as I start my car) I get off and walk around my car to make sure that I don’t have a flat.  But did she?  No, no she fucking didn’t, and I asked her when she saw the tire pressure sensor go off and she told me when she was (are you ready for this?) IN HER GARAGE!!!!!

Toy Story meme

She didn’t stop until she was almost at work, which is a good ten miles from her house.  She sent me a picture of the tire and I was like, seriously you couldn’t have checked your car before you drove out of your damned garage?!  Okay I know, I sound like I’m being all judgy and critical but I assume that my friend has some sort of common sense right? Wrong….ugh.  So she calls me Friday night to tell me that it took the roadside assistance for Ford to get to her and her car over two hours to the dealership.  Which was half in, half out of the emergency lane off of I-10 and Geronimo, then I asked her why she just hadn’t driven (slowly) right off the freeway onto the exit and this is what she said.  “I didn’t want to ruin the tire any more than it was”……and I almost fucking lost it!

Kermit meme

My inside voice, the common sense voice was yelling so loud that it almost gave me a headache, as it yelled…..ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!  YOU DIDN’T WANT TO RUIN THE TIRE MORE THAN IT WAS?!?!  WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID!!!!

Yes, that’s what my inside voice was yelling.  But I said to her (calmly) “It didn’t matter what it did to your tire, you should have just driven slowly off of the freeway and into the parking lot of the Renaissance Inn and you would have been safer.” She said “I never thought about that.  Besides I also didn’t want to ruin the rim on the car” and again I thought to myself…oh right, you didn’t want to ruin the rim, that’s cool, you were just perilously stopped half in, half out on the emergency lane on I-10, where you would have gotten hit if you’d tried to exit your car…sure I can get that………….NOT!!!!

Then she tells me that the flatbed truck got there after about an hour and a half, then they towed it to a Ford dealership.  And she complained about how long she had to wait for the Ford dealership to change her tire and put on the spare.  My head was spinning by this point, I asked her why she didn’t just have the tow truck take her car to Martin Tire (where she bought her fourth set of tires in less than three years!) and she said that since its Ford’s roadside assistance they have to tow it to a Ford dealership.  Okay I understand that, but none of this would have happened if she had only checked her tire, in her garage when the tire pressure sensor went off when she started her car that morning (AAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!!)

Double Face Palm

Then she tells me that her boyfriend had shown up less than an hour after she got the flat, and stayed there with her until the tow truck took her car to the dealership.  I thought okay, at least he did that, he was there to support and calm her down because according to her, this was a “horrible experience” and that’s when I said to her “Yep it sure was, one that you caused by not checking your tires before you left your house.”  Then she gets all butt-hurt and tells me “How can you tell me that? Who checks their tires every day before they leave their house?”

I pointed to myself and said “I fucking do, it’s something my ex-husband taught me, and something that my stupid ex-boyfriend reinforced and that my oldest son still harps about because you never know what might happen to your car, better safe than sorry.  Especially since I’ve found that the Ford Fusions have an issue with the tire pressure sensors, I make damned sure I keep on top of that.  AND I’ve told you about the pressure sensors over and over, so you caused what happened to you today.”  She said that I was making her feel stupid, and that her dad or either of her ex-husbands didn’t teach her to be careful with her car because they always maintained them.  And that’s when I was close to tearing her hair out and said “And how long have you been single?  How long have you been on your own and had to take care of yourself?  Seriously, this fucking damsel in distress act is fucking annoying as shit!  You, just like I do have to take care of ourselves which includes making sure that everything from our jobs, house and cars aren’t being neglected and in working order.  No one is going to do this for us, and I sure as hell don’t need anyone to tell me to check my tires, car, get my oil changed or take my car for a tune up, I know this.  I keep a maintenance log for my car, AND if I would have called roadside assistance I would have used my insurance roadside assistance and had them take my car to the tire place and wouldn’t have wasted all day for the dealership to change my tire and then gone to get my tire replaced.”

She just looked at me and then said “You are making me feel stupid” and I said “No I’m not, I’m telling you what I would have done.  AND had you asked me I would have told you but you didn’t even respond to my text to see if you were alright.”  And after her ordeal with her flat tire, that same weekend she buys a brand new, 65’ smart television for her house.  She texts me the Saturday following her flat tire debacle and tells me that she’s got a new tv and that I need to go and watch movies the next weekend and sends me a picture of her new television set she bought at Best Buy.  She also proceeds to tell me that Best Buy is going to go an install her new television, which I find weird because, I mean it’s not rocket surgery to install your own television, or is it?  Seriously that’s what I’m asking, because to me hooking up a new television set is pretty cut and dry and it doesn’t matter how hard it’s made out to be, all one does is follow instructing right?  Wrong, apparently the Best Buy people cut the wrong cables, and I’m like WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING CUTTING CABLES?!?!?!  All they were there doing was taking the old tv off and putting in her new television, right?  Take off the cables, all of them including whatever she had connected to her tv, like her dvd player, surround sound, sound bar, and HDMI cable and switch out her tv, and reconnect all the cables back the way they were.  Am I crazy or am I being too critical of my stupid friend?

i-am-not-mean-am-blunt-which-means-i-will-15216853

So I proceed to ask her why the hell they cut cables and tell her that it’s not that hard to connect a new television set and that I hope to God she’s not paying Best Buy to install it for her. I also told her that if she would have told me I would have installed the thing for her or even better why didn’t she ask her new BF to install it for her?   That was the last text message I sent because I didn’t receive a response.  Then when I tried to call her later that day she sent my call to voicemail.  This is the friend that was being gaslit by her ex-boyfriend, the one who got her tires slashed (by the same ex), the one who I had to intercept a phone call from because he kept harassing her and told him to go to hell because we (okay I) knew it was him making her suffer all along.  There isn’t a big enough face palm for how I feel right about now.

And I’m seriously tired of this stupid damsel in distress act she pulls, the thing is, can my friend really be that naïve or is it just stupidity?  I really want to know, because to me, common sense takes over when there are issue life throws at you.  I mean I installed the smart tv in my room, my computer, my printer, hell I even installed the mini blinds in my house and I fixed the ceiling fan in my room.  I changed out the cabin filter on my car, and if I absolutely have to, I will do the tune up as well, but I don’t have to because my son does it for me.  He volunteers since he lives with his mom and doesn’t pay rent, lol.

But, I’ve learned to do so much on my own because even when Lestat was in my life, I learned from watching him do things, and I managed to patch a hole in the wall in my hallway, as well as patch the small holes in the bedroom doors, change out the doorknobs and install the washer and dryer I bought myself.  I mean, I’ve changed out a flat tire on my car (not that I wanted to but I didn’t have a choice) because I was shown how to by my stupid ex-husband and ex-boyfriend to fend for myself because nothing, and I do mean nothing in this life is certain.  So am I being too critical of my friend and her inability to think for herself or is she really that fucking clueless about using her common sense?  Seriously, if I’m being a bitch I want to know because I can’t deal with stupid people, it’s draining and the constant having to reassure them is out of character for me.  I will not reinforce stupidity, it only germinates into more stupidity and then I will have to kill a bitch for being that fucking dumb.

Face table meme

Also before all this happened, she found a job posting for JP’s position (my ex work husband who left) and asked me about it.  Then she told me she was going to apply for it, but I don’t think I can take working with a friend here at work, especially if I can’t figure out whether it’s stupidity or naiveté that she suffers from.  It’s already bad enough having to deal with Baby Kermit and her incessant throat clearing operatics I have to hear on a daily basis, ugh.  And if I’m going to have to train her what I learned from JP, because I had to show him how to create sub-awards, it will be unbearable, so I think I may just apply for his position myself………because I know I can do it.

I know many will read this and criticize me for being hard on my friend.  But one can only deal with situations like the ones she’s gone through, being a friend, and not wonder if she really is naive or not.  Seriously I don’t think I’ve met someone as clueless as my friend and I love my dear friend.  But sometime I have to wonder…..where the fuck she comes up with some of the situations he gets herself into or her manner of thinking.

*huge sigh*

Until next time, when the Huntress will talk about the things kids say……to embarrass their parents.

Upward and Onward People!!!

The Huntress

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

34 thoughts on “Please People, Tell Me The Difference Between Being Stupid or Just Naive……

  1. You do practice tough love, don’t you? Some people just don’t seem to get it when it comes to relatively simple maintenance things. Maybe they just aren’t wired to learn those kinds of things and it sure makes me wonder if evolution let us down somewhere along the way. I don’t know if berating your friend will make her any more competent, but there is always hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, thanks Jono, but tough love is really the only way to make some people understand. Do you think I was berating her? Seriously that’s why I posted this, I need to know so that I try no to. But like you said, it makes me wonder if evolution let some, not all of us down, lol.

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  2. I think it’s stupidity. I had a friend who was constantly making bad decisions…like she would pay someone to do work on her house BEFORE they did the work and then bitch and moan because they never came back to do the work. Like DUH you stupid bitch. Lol. I was constantly telling her what she should do. I never expected her to do what I said, but I sure as hell thought it would help her to use her own fucking brain, but nope. Anyway, I feel your annoyance!

    Also, I have a 2009 Ford Focus. It has that same low tire pressure sensitivity. Drives me bonkers! Whenever there’s a change in temperature, the damn thing lights up. It’s usually when I’m driving. I check my tires and they don’t appear to be low but I drive to the nearest tire shop and ask them to check the tire pressure. They do and they fill accordingly. It’s NOT rocket science like you said!! Easy peasy. That is unless you’re a complete moron. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG I have a 2010 Fusion! Wow creeeppyyyy, lol.

      Anyway, I can’t help but feel like okay woman get your shit together, seriously but now I think she’s all pissed off at me because I haven’t heard from her all weekend. We usually text each other good morning and shit, but I’m not going to and if I don’t hear from her well then tough shit. I’m not the stupid one in this relationship, and I’ve told her I’m blunt and will tell you the truth even if it hurts. If you want someone to blow cotton candy up your ass then go ask one of your other friends.

      I don’t think that’s mean, but then again what I think is mean and what she thinks is mean are a world of difference…..okay I’m mean what can I say? lmao

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  3. The damsel in distress thing gets old… especially for women who are independent AF. I check my tires constantly, can install my own tv thank you very much and unless it requires a back hoe? Am pretty self sufficient. Sadly the world is not filled with people like us… and I do believe they are out on earth to give us reasons to drink.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You should stop at Autozone or something and buy one of those little tire pressure gauges with a dial for her and show her the label on the inside frame of the drivers’ door that lists tire pressures. Tire pressure can change with large changes in temperature. With the lower profile tires on modern cars, you can’t really tell by looking at them whether or not they are low. You run on low tires for very long and you get to buy new tires earlier than you ordinarily would.

    What struck me as funny is that she didn’t want to ruin the tires any more than they already were ruined. They’re either ruined (buy new tire) or not (patch hole in tire). I don’t think there are degrees of ruin. It’s kind of like not wanting to get any more pregnant than you already are. From the picture, I am guessing that she bought a new tire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lmao, good one Jason, not anymore pregnant that you already are! I’ve told her, but somehow she has it in her hallow head that the tire pressure sensors are to blame. Even now, she’s not willing to accept the fact that she’s at fault for what happened, ugh.

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  5. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that people react to certain situation the exact opposite way we would. So on one hand I’m reading this post and am like, wow, how could this person be so clueless when their tire is falling off the car! And how do they not know how to set up a TV? The wires only go in one spot! But then 5% of me is like, hmmm maybe they just don’t know how to deal with something until it happens to them.

    This was a fun read, thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think she’s lacking in common sense for sure. I understand how you feel. You have to decide how important the friendship is to you and if you can overlook her ‘blonde’ moments or whatever you want to call them. If you want to stay friends I think you have to accept that she’s just like that and don’t try to fix her or help her too much. Let her boyfriend do it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Some people truly have zero common sense—and it’s not something one can learn. I have loads of brilliant thinkers in my life, but toss in a small real-world issue and they are truly stumped. Problem-solving is both a skill AND a talent. Brains operate differently from each other. We weren’t all born into the world programmed with the same base code. Try to cut your friend some slack—at least to her face. Perhaps a better solution would be to have her call you (or someone else possessing common sense in her life) when she runs into issues so you can help her brainstorm a solution. Not only would you be helping your friend, but you’d also be able to demonstrate how you process info and determine a satisfactory solution—maybe she will aspire to get better at problem solving by watching you in action. One can hope…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Heather your so right! Problem solving is a talent AND a skill that not all humans are born with. I never thought about it that way, and perhaps I wouldn’t be so harsh on my friend if she didn’t call me every single time she went from self induced crisis to self induced crisis.

      Seriously, it’s like a soap opera with her. I’ve tried to NOT be so hard on her but some of the things she goes through she, herself causes and sometimes it gets to be a bit much. I’m her BFF and so I get the brunt of her emotional meltdowns, and I, when I do have one (which is rare) count on her as well. But omg, it’s really emotionally draining because I swear, every week is a different issue with her. And I love my friend, if not you’d hear I was in jail for involuntary friendicide…..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not saying it isn’t exasperating or exhausting, I’m just saying she probably can’t help it. Her “crises” are likely just a manifestation of her anxieties—and by being painfully blunt, you’re likely only adding to those anxieties. I’m sure it wasn’t easy or comfy for her to confront you with her feelings about you making her feel stupid, but her words are telling you something—she feels stupid. You can choose to write her off if she’s too exhausting to be around, or you can reframe the way you interpret her actions and attempt a softer, gentler approach. When she goes through these trials, perhaps viewing her as a child/student/mentee might give you a bit more patience and understanding?

        What qualities make her your BFF? I’d love to hear some positives—and I’m sure she would too. You’re such a formidable presence, crashing through situations like a bull in a china shop…and that’s admirable. But also try to limit the collateral damage—particularly to those you care about. And I’m speaking from one bull in a china shop to another here—not trying to reprimand you.

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  8. Sometimes a good friend is one who’s hard on you when you make stupid decisions. Okay, I know the old saying is that a good friend is one who’ll bail you out of jail while a great friend is one who’s sitting in the cell next to you saying, “Well, that was fun.” But sometimes a really good friend is one who does this:

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  9. I’ve literally never been in a Best Buy in my life, but I’ve heard about them. And if what you’ve all said about your friend is true, I can completely believe she bought the installation package. Best Buy and its ilk push the hell out of ridiculous and unnecessary add-ons like that to increase profit… and I’m sure one of their blue shirts got a nice commission for convincing her there’s no way she could possibly install something as complex as a damned TV without their assistance. We’ve got enough silly costly add-ons to products like that here at Mecca now, but we don’t get commission for customers buying them so we don’t give a fuck whether they take it or not…

    I totally believe in tough love, though. If you whine about a predicament, you deserve to get criticized for the role you played in causing it. And as for the boyfriend, is this the guy who looked like Humpty Hump?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG Evil, I can’t believe you remembered that! lol. And no this is a new dude in her life, he’s actually pretty decent, a good guy with a big heart. No that asshole is long gone, and no one will find his body…ahem he’s gone….lol

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t think you’re being mean—her behaviour is worrisome and could get (and has gotten) her in some very dangerous situations! I hope she starts listening to you, and I hope you apply for JP’s job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did apply for it, so crossing fingers 🤞. She worries the hell out of me sometimes but I can only do/say so much to try to get her to listen. I do get frustrated more times than not, but she’s really a nice person. Just a bit more naive than most.

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  11. Also, right down below the comments box here are links to other blogs, and one of them is by a woman who’s going on about how her husband is her King and how all his wives should be submissive and sh*t (the post is called Why My King’s Third Wife Had To Kneel Outside the House at 6 AM In The Morning) and I can’t imagine anything more ironic that it’s here below YOUR blog!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I feel your pain, I’m having to deal with all kinds of stupid shit from people at work right now and I Just want to scream. I don’t think I could contain myself with that kind of dumb you had to face so respect there 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I think you have to reflect on the positive aspects of your friendship and see if that balances out your frustrations. We all have different skills/comfort levels. I seem to recall the name Veronica in prior posts and if I remember correctly she was there for you during the Lestat phase. Maybe the friendship doesn’t hold the same appeal for you anymore since you’ve moved on…I would put this one under the mental microscope.

    Liked by 1 person

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