Someone in my office asked me what I’d like to receive this Christmas, then backtracked and asked “What would you like for yourself this Christmas?” I thought about it long and hard and I came up with a wish list for some things I’d like before the end of 2019, so here I go…
Wish #1 – I’d really, really like a bra that fits, that doesn’t ride up or have the straps constantly fall of my shoulders. I’d like to wear a comfortable bra underneath my clothes that makes me feel like I’m footloose and fancy free. A bra that isn’t made by Satan’s handmaiden, stitched together by lava thread and unruly, barbed underwire! I’d like a goddamned bra that doesn’t bother the shit out of me all damned day long reminding me, that even though I’m not top-heavy, I still have to wear this torture device that reminds me I have to keep the sisters in check!!
Wish #2 – I’d like to not be asked (constantly) if I want to participate in a secret Santa Gift exchange here at work. Seriously, if the Huntress wanted to participate I’d go and sign up with the fervor of Baby Kermit and her throat clearing symphonic harmonies. All to remind me I really, really miss Female Sheldon and her social awkwardness!
Wish #3 – My Smokey and the Bandit, drive to work in a black Trans Am, swerve into the parking lot, past Truckzilla’s parking space, straight into the first parking spot, stereo blasting Halestorm’s “It’s Not You”, slow motion door opening, stepping out in my high heels, aviator sunglass wearing, cooler than shit walk into my office, still applies.
Wish #4 – World peace…..that’s all I can say for this one. I want world peace.
Wish #5 – Karma, I want karma to come to life and bite those that deserve it in the ass. I want karma to realize that there are so many people that need to have karma bitch slap them so hard they actually realize what they’ve done and who they are and change into decent people!
Wish #6 – I wish I could afford a face-lift and a full time trainer, I have no willpower to do any sort of strength training. I need to tone…..everything, I need to tone up….ugh.
Wish #7 – I wish I didn’t hate the holiday’s so much. It’s hard because of so many factors that have gotten me here. I told myself that I’d try harder for my boys, even though they are adults, they still deserve to have a wonderful holiday experience. I’ll try alcohol, yeah that’s it…alcohol.
Wish #8 – I wish I could meet all my blogger friends, I realize that it would take an incredible feat of money and will, but nonetheless I’d like to be able to meet all of you. I think we’d have a blast.
Wish #9 – I wish my eyelashes still curled, seriously what the fuck happened that they stopped curling, they use to curl, when I was younger. I have very long lashes and when they’d curl I’d get asked if they were false. To which I’d answer “Of course not, they are all mine.” But now, no matter what the hell I do, by the time I’m done putting on my makeup, their flat as pancakes…..goddamned eyelashes, you are just doing this to piss me off!
Wish #10 – I want to wish all of you a very safe and happy holiday season, stay safe, celebrate with family and friends, have a spectacular New Year but most of all know that I am so very grateful and thankful to have found each and every one of you!
Until next time remember, chin up, soldier on and watch your back!
The Huntress 915