Another Helping of…..Random Thoughts by The Huntress, Office Holiday Edition!

I might have a cavalcade of things to write about this week, it’s been busy but there have been quite a few misadventures going on as well, so let’s get started shall we?

Holiday Gathering, White Elephant Gift Exchange…..Don’t Make Me Punch You!

We had our departmental holiday gathering on Friday, and it wasn’t exactly how it should have turned out.  First of all they asked for everyone to participate in a white elephant gift exchange….whatever.

White Elephant Gift meme
The burden of attending your office holiday party should be enough….

It was purely voluntary, but some I think might have felt obligated to do so.  They asked us to purchase a gift of no more than $20, wrap it and bring it to the holiday party.  Then after we ate, we were going to do this absurd game which we all pick a number, and then when our number is called, go up to pick a gift, unwrap it and then if we like what someone else has, we could steal it away.

Ron Burgundy Office Party meme

I bought something I liked and wanted because I decided I was going to choose my own gift.  So when they called my number (which oddly enough was 13, on Friday the 13th) I went up and got my gift, unwrapped it and was asked if I wanted to keep it.  I said yes and went back to sit down, gift in hand and left everyone else to their own devices.  I knew no one would want to steal my gift away from me.  How do I know this?  Because I bought a beautiful wooden chess set, and I knew no one else other than myself and JP would care for it.  What can I say, I work with a bunch of heathens who all fought for a huge over sized bottle of wine, a waffle maker, a Starbucks ceramic mug with a $10 gift card in it, a set of four copper beer steins, and two Star Wars coffee mugs.  They fought for these fucking things, seriously I felt like I was in the wrong office for once, like I was in a class with a bunch of sugar-rushing kindergartner’s.  Someone even said that if they took his Star Wars mug he’d punch them.  I sat there with a constant eye roll expression wanting for the day to be over.   At least the food was good, we had our shin-dig over at a BBQ place and the brisket and jalapeno sausage were excellent.

Charlie “Dirty Paws” O’Houlihan……Come At Me Bro

Come at me Bro gif

Last Tuesday I stayed home because the property management company was going to do the annual inspection of the rental house I live in for the lease renewal.  So I spent the previous weekend making sure that everything was clean, put away and in its place.  Which meant that I had to make my wonderful cat Charlie disappear for about an hour.  They don’t know I have a cat, and I’m not going to tell them because I don’t want to pay the $350 pet deposit for him living with us.  Besides he’s an outdoor/indoor cat and my house has almost no signs of him living there other than his cat bed, his food and water bowls and a catnip mouse he plays with occasionally.  He doesn’t use a litter box because he goes and does his “business” outside, which I love and am thankful for.

So I had to get him out of the house by 10:30am since they said they’d be there before 11am, my neighbor was kind enough to cat sit for me, and even lent me a pet taxi to use so I could carry him over there.  In theory it sounded easier than it was, I picked up Charlie from his slumber and then proceeded to put him in the travel carrier.  Easier said than done, I picked him up and now I know why he’s the Kat Fight Klub champion of the east-side, he fought me paw and claw for ten entire minutes! I got him in the cage once and then I guess I didn’t lock the door and he jumped out and tried to run.  I caught him by his back leg and he bit me!  Then I was trying to calm him down by holding him in a hug and he looked at me like “I know what you’re trying to do lady and it’s not going to work, I’m not going quietly!”

I tried the second time and got him in the cage again long enough to get him out the door and as I walked across the yard he did it again!  He tried to escape and the door flung open and he hit the muddy ground and almost bolted across the driveway.  I was able to catch him and fight him for another five minutes as I tried to put him back into the carrier.  I finally did and took him to the neighbor’s house.  I had muddy paw prints all over my black warm-ups, from the waist to my ankles, I had the mark of a losing opponent from fighting with Charlie “Muddy Paws” O’Houlihan.  I changed quickly before the inspector arrived and made sure no signs of my precocious feline could be found.

After the inspection was over I went to go and fetch my cat from my patient neighbor and as I walked her house he saw me and jumped into my arms.  He’s NEVER done that, and he clung to me for dear life.  I thanked her and she said he behaved like a good cat, all he did was look outside the back window and howled for ten minutes and seemed to calm down afterwards.  I thanked her again and as we walked out of her house the minute we got to the back door he began fighting me again.  I had to make sure he was alright so I brought him into the house after placing all of his things back where they usually are.  He went room to room as if inspecting the house himself.  Then for the entire afternoon he proceeded to give me the cold paw, he was mad for sure, I could see it.

Charles Cold Paw Juarez
This isn’t a picture of that day he fought me, but he gave me the very same look after he calmed down

Then he got a hold of my phone and tried to text for a pizza with cat nip, but I stopped him before he charged anything to my card.  Cats can really hold a grudge can’t they?

Charlie Trying to Text

Bah Humbug…..

It’s been a long time since I’ve had an aversion to the holidays, it first began because of my mother and her mental issues, then it culminated with Lestat and the fact that he’d never spend the holidays with me because as you know, he was/is married and spent them with his farce of a family.  The stress and anxiety was enough for me to wish I could just stay in bed and sleep and not get up until the New Year came around.  Both my mom and Lestat made these day’s seem like they lingered on forever, the constant waiting, the trying to please everyone, cooking, baking making sure that I was the one that made time for Lestat.  Hoping my mother wouldn’t have another of her tantrums because she didn’t like the gift she got, hearing her complain about how I didn’t make the food the way she did, “back in the day.”

I use to pray for when I’d be able to get back to work to some sort of normalcy, to a routine I knew was one I could control.   But over the last year I’ve begun to stop feeling so much like the holidays were a chore, especially since Lestat is long gone.   At least one factor of anxiety and stress is no longer an issue.  I didn’t realize this until this past weekend, I finally felt like a ton of bricks was lifted from me.  I no longer felt anxious about making time to spend with him because we all know, I had to wait on him for everything.  But last year nor this year will I wait, I felt a bit more at ease, more relaxed so to speak.  Then I remembered……I still have to deal with my mother but that’s only half of the stress now.  I can do it, and if she doesn’t cooperate I can always threaten her with sending her to the nursing home…..hey if it worked for Dorothy on the Golden Girls why not?

Dysfunctional Family

No Quiero Trabajar…..

It’s true, I don’t feel like working much this week, we’ve been so freaking busy I haven’t taken lunch a couple of the days.  I’ve worked almost everyday until 6pm, and that’s a lot for me since I’m supposed to leave at 4:30 everyday.  So to say the least I’m tired, mentally and physically.  Although the physical part I can handle because I try and run when I get home.  I must say, I’m getting better at it I may actually be ready to run my very first 5K sometime next year.  But, as for work I could do without all the bad writing, the miscalculated budgets I have to fix and the cheeriness of everyone in my office that absolutely LOVES the holidays (Baby Kermit).   What I could use at the moment is a large Super Supreme pan pizza with jalapenos from Pizza Hut and a well poured pint of Guinness, now that’s my kind of holiday celebration.

Until next time remember, chin up, soldier on and watch your back!

The Huntress 915

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

32 thoughts on “Another Helping of…..Random Thoughts by The Huntress, Office Holiday Edition!

  1. I always thought The Office was bizarre, but entertaining, and thought it was a weird fictional idea. Your office sounds like a similar, but real, workplace. And your mother…. Well, my parents are long gone, but I have known people like her and my stepmother was no picnic either.
    I think pizza and beer sounds like a wonderful holiday meal. I think I’ll have to do that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My office indeed has it’s fair share of characters. Although I’m glad we don’t have a “Dwight.” Because I’d kill that mofo for sure, lol.

      Pizza and beer, a holiday feast if I do say so myself. 😎

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    1. I tried putting him out last year for the inspection. What did he do? He came in through the garage when my son got home from work. I had to tell the inspector he belonged to my neighbor. Lol

      The running is coming along, my stamina is building and I think I can take on a 5K sometime this up coming year.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. OMGosh! I laughed so hard reading about your fight with Charlie!! I have a pretty clear visual of you with paw prints all over yourself!! So funny!! I’m glad he was happy to see you afterward though! You’re a pretty smart cookie, getting a gift for yourself for the gift exchange! Lol. I’d have never thought of that myself. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The way you imagined it, is exactly how it happened. Charlie is a fighter for sure but he’s never fought with me, ever. So it was, to say the least, a harrowing experience. Then afterwards he was giving me the cold paw, all day long! lol

      That was the plan with the gift exchange, I bought something I liked and wrapped it in some unique wrapping paper, not that I wouldn’t know my own gift, lol. You should have seen everyone fighting for the wine, the Star Wars coffee mugs, and everything else it was like being in elementary school. I can’t wait to go on holiday vacation, I need time away from all the Muppet characters in my office.

      Like

  3. I love cats… they don’t even try to hide their attitude.
    And I hate those gift exchanges.. we call them Chinese auctions up here. Not the least PC, I know. My husband almost got in a fist fight over a stone. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Since you’ve called yourself Dorothy from now on I’m going to picture your mother as Sophia which will make things a little better.
    I don’t know why I feel bad for Charlie. I shouldn’t because you’re the one who got scratched and had to do all the work, but I imagine Charlie saying, “Oh no, she’s takin’ me to the vet, I’ve heard what they do there, I WON’T GO WITHOUT A FIGHT!” and then after you brought him back he spent the entire day thinking, “You got me all worked up for that.”
    And for once I’m kind of glad I don’t work with you because I would have been tempted to get that chess set, but I wouldn’t want to fight you over it.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The jalapeno sausage almost makes an office party worthwhile. The last one of those I attended was highlighted by the maintenance people drinking beer out of the receptionist’ tennis shoes ….
    You reminded of the blessing of owning my own home. No landlords.
    I haven’t had a bad yule season in many decades now, but the holiday still looms like a hidden menace in the closet every year. I go into a holding pattern until the last firecracker terrorizes my dogs on New Years Day.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love the holidays, even though I never shop for presents (or want any), don’t spend the day with families, don’t bother with a tree anymore, and don’t believe in Christ.

    I like the lights and the wireless Peanuts:

    https://www.amazon.com/Hallmark-Keepsake-Charlie-Peanuts-Wireless/dp/B006GVOWFG

    Yes, we have all three collections. 😏

    My wife always cooks up a bunch of food and we pour bottles of beer or wine and play the movies and the music in the background while I clean the garage or the office and play with the boys. Call it the Pastor Tom Pole Saw #TBT Holidays. Or something else if you like.

    We got four cats in 1999. Well, we got one and she got three more. Those cats moved from Monterey County to Shasta County with us in 2003 (along with our two dogs at the time), moved from our first place to our second place with us in this county, lived there with us for twelve years or so, and then one of them moved one more time with us in 2016. She has since passed. Three of them are still in boxes on our memorial shelf, along with the three dogs that passed. One of them vanished one day a couple of years ago, so we suspect she got caught by a wild thing. She was the adventurous one so we always figured she would some day. In fact, when we first moved up we lived in the country and she disappeared only to return two weeks later looking like she’d fought off the entire forest. She was a fighter. Like Charlie.

    They all hated the carrier. I laughed at your entire story as I remembered fondly Muse, Majesty, Mischief, and Marlboro. 🙂

    I want the chess set and the beer steins, but I’d fight for the Star Wars mugs.

    Happy Christmas Week to you, Huntress. You brighten all our seasons!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. CHEESUS CRUST Pastor Tom!!! $554 for that set of Peanuts keepsakes!?! That’s an entire year of Friskey’s for Charlie! But to each his own, lol.

      Aww, I hate it when your outdoor/indoor pets (mostly cats) just disappear. I try to keep Charles in check, we’re getting him chipped in January and my son is convinced he has to buy him a pet tracker. But do I really want to know where Charlies been when he’s not home? I mean for all we know he’s the king of nip and he’s out collecting nip payments from all the other cats in the neighborhood strung out on catnip. But I suppose better safe than sorry.

      Those are some awesome cat names, especially Mischief, lol. And the Pastor Tom Pole Saw #TBT Holidays sound just perfect 😉

      Like

  7. I’m so thankful my current job doesn’t do gift exchanges. It’s always just a waste of $20 that I could have spent on friends and family. Or, you know, myself. Your chess set move was brilliant!

    I worked at a place that did the whole White Elephant thing, but the company actually bought the gifts for the exchange, and it was CRAZY expensive stuff. Sports tickets, Blackberrys (back when they were a new thing), and even cruises! Those gift exchanges got so heated, I was surprised nobody got punched in the face!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I hate those holiday theft exchanges–talk about spoiling the point of the giving season! And Charlie has the best devil-eye I’ve seen. My last cat had no problem with the cat taxi as long as my hand was in it with her petting her–she was such a little sweetie, and I still miss her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree those gift exchanges are so annoying. I think Charlie is the king of the evil-eye, lol. He’s also the king of Kat Fight Klub, which is why he fought me so hard. He hates the carrier, and now he passes it when I clean it out and hisses at it. Cats are so weird 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Your office holiday party actually sounds fairly typical—generally something to be endured out of obligation while trying to find a couple good points to focus on.

    I’ve picked my own gifts more than once in gift exchanges. People claim that’s cheating, but when I ask them how, they can’t really defend their claim—I chalk it up to jealousy that they hadn’t thought of it themselves.

    Getting any cat in a carrier is a feat. My cats know only bad things come of it: vet visits. My strategy is to lure them with treats into a small room (bathroom or walk in closet) where the carrier already is waiting, then fight them into the carrier. If they escape, I don’t have to chase them.

    I hope you did find some joy in the holidays this year—you deserve it!

    Like

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