I might have a cavalcade of things to write about this week, it’s been busy but there have been quite a few misadventures going on as well, so let’s get started shall we?
Holiday Gathering, White Elephant Gift Exchange…..Don’t Make Me Punch You!
We had our departmental holiday gathering on Friday, and it wasn’t exactly how it should have turned out. First of all they asked for everyone to participate in a white elephant gift exchange….whatever.
It was purely voluntary, but some I think might have felt obligated to do so. They asked us to purchase a gift of no more than $20, wrap it and bring it to the holiday party. Then after we ate, we were going to do this absurd game which we all pick a number, and then when our number is called, go up to pick a gift, unwrap it and then if we like what someone else has, we could steal it away.
I bought something I liked and wanted because I decided I was going to choose my own gift. So when they called my number (which oddly enough was 13, on Friday the 13th) I went up and got my gift, unwrapped it and was asked if I wanted to keep it. I said yes and went back to sit down, gift in hand and left everyone else to their own devices. I knew no one would want to steal my gift away from me. How do I know this? Because I bought a beautiful wooden chess set, and I knew no one else other than myself and JP would care for it. What can I say, I work with a bunch of heathens who all fought for a huge over sized bottle of wine, a waffle maker, a Starbucks ceramic mug with a $10 gift card in it, a set of four copper beer steins, and two Star Wars coffee mugs. They fought for these fucking things, seriously I felt like I was in the wrong office for once, like I was in a class with a bunch of sugar-rushing kindergartner’s. Someone even said that if they took his Star Wars mug he’d punch them. I sat there with a constant eye roll expression wanting for the day to be over. At least the food was good, we had our shin-dig over at a BBQ place and the brisket and jalapeno sausage were excellent.
Charlie “Dirty Paws” O’Houlihan……Come At Me Bro
Last Tuesday I stayed home because the property management company was going to do the annual inspection of the rental house I live in for the lease renewal. So I spent the previous weekend making sure that everything was clean, put away and in its place. Which meant that I had to make my wonderful cat Charlie disappear for about an hour. They don’t know I have a cat, and I’m not going to tell them because I don’t want to pay the $350 pet deposit for him living with us. Besides he’s an outdoor/indoor cat and my house has almost no signs of him living there other than his cat bed, his food and water bowls and a catnip mouse he plays with occasionally. He doesn’t use a litter box because he goes and does his “business” outside, which I love and am thankful for.
So I had to get him out of the house by 10:30am since they said they’d be there before 11am, my neighbor was kind enough to cat sit for me, and even lent me a pet taxi to use so I could carry him over there. In theory it sounded easier than it was, I picked up Charlie from his slumber and then proceeded to put him in the travel carrier. Easier said than done, I picked him up and now I know why he’s the Kat Fight Klub champion of the east-side, he fought me paw and claw for ten entire minutes! I got him in the cage once and then I guess I didn’t lock the door and he jumped out and tried to run. I caught him by his back leg and he bit me! Then I was trying to calm him down by holding him in a hug and he looked at me like “I know what you’re trying to do lady and it’s not going to work, I’m not going quietly!”
I tried the second time and got him in the cage again long enough to get him out the door and as I walked across the yard he did it again! He tried to escape and the door flung open and he hit the muddy ground and almost bolted across the driveway. I was able to catch him and fight him for another five minutes as I tried to put him back into the carrier. I finally did and took him to the neighbor’s house. I had muddy paw prints all over my black warm-ups, from the waist to my ankles, I had the mark of a losing opponent from fighting with Charlie “Muddy Paws” O’Houlihan. I changed quickly before the inspector arrived and made sure no signs of my precocious feline could be found.
After the inspection was over I went to go and fetch my cat from my patient neighbor and as I walked her house he saw me and jumped into my arms. He’s NEVER done that, and he clung to me for dear life. I thanked her and she said he behaved like a good cat, all he did was look outside the back window and howled for ten minutes and seemed to calm down afterwards. I thanked her again and as we walked out of her house the minute we got to the back door he began fighting me again. I had to make sure he was alright so I brought him into the house after placing all of his things back where they usually are. He went room to room as if inspecting the house himself. Then for the entire afternoon he proceeded to give me the cold paw, he was mad for sure, I could see it.
Then he got a hold of my phone and tried to text for a pizza with cat nip, but I stopped him before he charged anything to my card. Cats can really hold a grudge can’t they?
It’s been a long time since I’ve had an aversion to the holidays, it first began because of my mother and her mental issues, then it culminated with Lestat and the fact that he’d never spend the holidays with me because as you know, he was/is married and spent them with his farce of a family. The stress and anxiety was enough for me to wish I could just stay in bed and sleep and not get up until the New Year came around. Both my mom and Lestat made these day’s seem like they lingered on forever, the constant waiting, the trying to please everyone, cooking, baking making sure that I was the one that made time for Lestat. Hoping my mother wouldn’t have another of her tantrums because she didn’t like the gift she got, hearing her complain about how I didn’t make the food the way she did, “back in the day.”
I use to pray for when I’d be able to get back to work to some sort of normalcy, to a routine I knew was one I could control. But over the last year I’ve begun to stop feeling so much like the holidays were a chore, especially since Lestat is long gone. At least one factor of anxiety and stress is no longer an issue. I didn’t realize this until this past weekend, I finally felt like a ton of bricks was lifted from me. I no longer felt anxious about making time to spend with him because we all know, I had to wait on him for everything. But last year nor this year will I wait, I felt a bit more at ease, more relaxed so to speak. Then I remembered……I still have to deal with my mother but that’s only half of the stress now. I can do it, and if she doesn’t cooperate I can always threaten her with sending her to the nursing home…..hey if it worked for Dorothy on the Golden Girls why not?
No Quiero Trabajar…..
It’s true, I don’t feel like working much this week, we’ve been so freaking busy I haven’t taken lunch a couple of the days. I’ve worked almost everyday until 6pm, and that’s a lot for me since I’m supposed to leave at 4:30 everyday. So to say the least I’m tired, mentally and physically. Although the physical part I can handle because I try and run when I get home. I must say, I’m getting better at it I may actually be ready to run my very first 5K sometime next year. But, as for work I could do without all the bad writing, the miscalculated budgets I have to fix and the cheeriness of everyone in my office that absolutely LOVES the holidays (Baby Kermit). What I could use at the moment is a large Super Supreme pan pizza with jalapenos from Pizza Hut and a well poured pint of Guinness, now that’s my kind of holiday celebration.
Until next time remember, chin up, soldier on and watch your back!
The Huntress 915