Memories or Dreams??

I have these memories, that come at random times or maybe when a smell or sound triggers them.  Sometimes they are so fleeting that I question whether they happened at all, or maybe they are just bubbling to the surface.  I do recognize many of these memories that I had long forgotten.  I distinctly remember my aunt Nellie’s wedding,

70's Bridesmaid Dresses
This bridesmaid dress is EXACTLY what my aunt had her sisters wear, hat and all.  I’m surprised I found a picture of the dress, yuck.

I was the maid of honor that carried the train of her dress, I remember the reception in Mexico at her in-laws house, amidst high sand hills.  I remember her wedding cake, it was white with a glittery white frosting, yellow flowers and studded with edible silver pearls.  I stood, watched, and waited for a piece as they cut through the three tier cake.

I remember the smell of my paternal grandfather’s kitchen, his old fashioned coffee pot percolating away on the stove.  Clay pots slowly simmering with beans that had onions and jalapenos “for flavor” he used to say.

mexican-bean-pot-small
I still have my grandpa’s clay pot

I remember him dressed in his Sunday best, and the Stetson hat he wore to church, his cologne, and his gentle hand holding mine as I looked up at him.  I remember walking into what seemed like a huge church, the old wooden floors creaking under my red patent leather shoes.  The smell of burning alter candles, glowing in red glass urns trimmed with gold.

SE Church backshot
This is the church where I grew up attending, it’s beautiful, pictures really don’t do it justice.

Looking up at the plaster ceiling, painted in pastel colors, angles drawn holding trumpets and gold incense burners in their hands.  The deep set stain glass windows letting in the Sunday morning sun as if to say “It will always be warm in here for you.”

SE Church Windows
San Elizario Chapel or Presidio interior of the stain glass widows

I also have what I call memories of things that might have not actually happened.  The movie Urban Cowboy for example, the scene where Pam takes Bud to her high-rise apartment in downtown Houston.  I swear I’ve been there before, that I’ve seen the First International Bank from that view or somewhere close.

Urban Cowboy Downtown Houston View

The lights, the background seem so familiar to me but I have never lived in Houston.  I also have some vague memories of when Bud is driving down a road in front of a refinery, I feel as though I’ve been there too, but again I’ve never lived in Houston and have only visited and only for a couple of days.  I don’t recall visiting any of those places.

I also remember my maternal grandfather’s house during Christmas, every year he always bought a fresh tree.  I remember the smell of pine and candy canes, the large bulb Christmas lights that hung heavily around the tree along with silver tinsel as well as the huge living room window.

Christmas lights

The fake snow in a can that he’s buy to spray around the windows to make it “look” like it had snowed, it never snowed in El Paso.  Brightly colored wrapped presents just sitting under the tree begging to be opened by me and all the cousins.  I also remember spending the night there too, sleeping on an old fold away bed draped in heavy blankets.  Then being woken up in the middle of the night to go with my grandfather for his shift as a ditch rider, he helped managed the water flow for the El Paso County Water Improvement District.  He kept an eye on how the water was distributed from the canals to the farms around Fabens, Clint and Lee Moore.

When he’d work the second shift from 11pm to 7am, sometimes the one or two of cousins and I would go along with him.  I remember riding in his work truck, the Spanish music coming out softly from the truck radio over the glow of the light from the dashboard.  His thermos of coffee, hot and inviting, sometimes he’d let the grand-kids take a sip, or he’d bring along soda’s in bottles, mainly Mexican sodas.  The smell of freshly made burritos in his lunch box that he’d share with us.   He knew we wouldn’t make it to morning, so we’d fall asleep in his truck under an old Army blanket he kept just in case we went along for the ride during the winter.  But he always took us home right before he went to go turn in his truck and clock out, it was against regulations to have anyone else in the truck that wasn’t an employee.  Funny how so many things were against regulations but no one said anything about it.  I remember my grandfather driving alongside another ditch rider, asking how everything was, and the other driver asking “You’re babysitting tonight Manuel?” and my grandfather said “It’s not babysitting when it’s family” the other ditch rider laughing and the two driving in opposite directions.

I also remember the Christmas when I got Scarlet fever, how hot I felt in my pink flannel night gown, the cough I got was loud and painful.  That I couldn’t sleep because my head hurt and the cough wouldn’t let me.  I remember the red splotches on my face, and how my mom tried to get me to eat but I couldn’t because all I did was throw it up within minutes.  How I woke up on Christmas morning that year and didn’t even feel like opening the presents.  I remember my annoying baby brother making so much noise on his giant plastic car he got because we didn’t have carpet in our house yet.  It was tile and those large black tires made rumbling noises as I tried to sleep while my dad, uncles and grandfathers tried to watch football on our counsel television set.

I distinctly remember the horrible taste of the cough syrup my mom made me take, and the white cotton hand towels that were dowsed in rubbing alcohol to try and break the fever.  I do however remember a cough medicine that I did like the taste of…

Creamulsion for Children cough medicine
Creamulsion for Children, blast from the past.

Call me crazy but it didn’t taste god awful like all the rest of the cough syrups I had to take.  I remember I was sick until way past Christmas and that my presents remained unopened under the tree for a week afterwards.

I also have a memory of distinctly walking down a hallway of a house I don’t recognize, I mean it’s a house here in El Paso, and I swear I’ve never been in it.  But when I was dating Lestat it was for sale and although the bastard would have never bought me a house I was curious about it.  We saw they had an open house when it went up for sale, and I walked in, and quickly made my way upstairs.  Lestat followed and it was like I knew where everything was, I even found hidden panels in the door way to the master bedroom.  The shelves inside the heavy wooden panels were all full of dust and had some old newspapers inside, from the early 1900’s.

2611 Altura Ave, El Paso Texas 79930 II
This is the actual house, it’s on 2611 Altura Ave in El Paso.  It’s been remodeled but, I have memories of being there….And I remember it having tons of trees in the front.

The realtor asked me if my family had previously owned the house and I said no.  Because of course they hadn’t, then Lestat asked me how I knew where the master bedroom was and how I found those panels.  I said I didn’t know.  But I remember being in that house, or was it a dream?  It couldn’t have been because after all these years I still have the realtor’s business card, so how did I know?

Until next time remember, chin up, soldier on and watch your back!

The Huntress 915

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

30 thoughts on “Memories or Dreams??

  1. That’s very odd…. and honestly? A wee bit creepy. I think we’ve all had feelings of deja vu, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a memory of something I know I didn’t experience. Not sure I want to!

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  2. As my friends would attest, I don’t remember half the things I actually did, so I doubt I have any memories of stuff which I didn’t. That’s a weird sentence, but we’re keeping it. And before we get into the whole “memory is the first thing to go” thing I want to point out that I’ve been erasing experiences since I was 7. I think it’s related to the old Sherlock Holmes thing*, I have enough in my brain so I shunt out what is unnecessary.

    Although, at this point, it could be the beer. 😉

    Still, your story is fascinating (Scarlet Fever?!) and well-relayed. Thanks for the memories! Literally.

    *Dr Watson once told Sherlock Holmes, arguably the smartest fictional man in the history of world, that the Earth went around the Sun, not the other way around. Watson was incredulous that Sherlock did not know that, but Holmes replied that he has too many things that are actually important to him to remember, and what possible use would he have for an unnecessary fact like which heavenly body circled which. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m going to have to agree with you, Sherlock Holmes IS probably the smartest fictional character ever conceived! As for your memories, it could very well be the beer Pastor Tom, lol. As hard as I try NOT to remember stuff, it’s impossible for me, for certain things that is. But maybe I should try beer, lol

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You clearly have not spent enough drunken nights in your adult life if your memories are that good.

    Memory plays weird tricks on me too, but probably not as weird as you have described. I think that I have read that if you experience something and then for some reason start internally editing your memory, you will eventually remember it the way you edited it.

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  4. I have dreams of houses and buildings that I have never been to and they always seem so real. I always wonder if perhaps I visited those places in another life. The houses are normally very, very old and one time I dreamed of a castle and a long staircase. I wake up with the strangest feeling, unlike normal dreams.

    You have some wonderful memories of your grandfather. ❤ The one memory I have of my maternal grandfather is that I was scared of him. He gave me the creeps. I don't know why and I don't really want to know. On his death bed, I refused to go say goodbye to him. I was just a little girl and I was scared shitless. My paternal grandfather was a nice enough and gentle man, however, he favored one grandkid over the others and it was obvious to us which one was the favorite.

    The house you went into and knew where the hidden panels were… perhaps you visited a friend who lived there when you were school aged? Or maybe you lived there in a previous life. Lol. Cue Twilight Zone music. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That house was no where in the vicinity of where I grew up. That residence is in west El Paso, or Central but I grew up in the far eastern part of the lower valley in rural El Paso county so, it couldn’t have been someone I visited. That’s why I keep wondering about it.

      I had an aunt who clearly favored one cousin over the others. She’d call the rest of us whiney brats. Bitch is dead now, lol. I hated her so much because when I was about 5 or 6 she hit me with a dog leash for laughing too loud at the cartoons all of us were watching at my grandfathers house. But I’m the only one she hit, so when she died I was like, meh Huntress don’t give a fuck 😎.

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  5. Dreams have always been fascinating to me, and I think they subconsciously have a way of working themselves into our reality and even our memories. Not that that explains the uncanny deja vu experiences you’ve had, but I think it’s why everyone has quasi-“I’ve been here before” feelings from time to time. I’m a tosser and turner, especially towards the last few hours I’m in bed, and there are times I wake from a dream that seems like it had been going on for a long time… yet look at the clock and realize only a few minutes had passed since I laid my head back on the pillow. Even if we’ve consciously forgotten them, I think there are “dream memories” we can only really access while we’re asleep.

    On another note, the story of going to work with your grandfather brought back memories of the times my Dad let me tag along with him at a couple night security jobs he worked at! His direct supervisors didn’t even care, but he had to keep the big bosses from finding out I was with him. No way stuff like that happens today now that even the most menial jobs are so over-regulated by management…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The really enjoyable thing here is the surprise at the end–that you went from these almost Proustian memories to the place where you’d never been but still had strange memories of. I’ve had that experience too–of going to a place I know I’ve never been but having the feeling of memories.
    What really stands out for me, though, is what an amazing character your grandfather was. He was a really cool guy.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Huntress,
    This is a fascinating topic that is my cup of tea. There’s no real answers, just questions with odd feelings attached. Your knowledge of that house was more than deja vu. It wasn’t just a feeling, you knew things without any conscious memory of how you attained that knowledge. This was an amazing read I’ll return to over and over. Loved the part about your grandfather and OMG, I used to take Creomulsion when I was a kid, too! This brought up so many thoughts and memories! Great read, my friend! Mona

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Memories are fascinating, aren’t they. Like you, I’m pretty sure I remember certain things but at the same time maybe it didn’t happen. Music can spark a memory as well as smell. I will always be fascinated by them.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I somehow missed your post about not getting the house. I’m so sorry they ripped you off. You can’t freaking trust anyone !! I hope you got your earnest money back? And reported all of those people because it sounds like a racket to me. 😡

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks PK, and I’m still dealing with trying to get my earnest money back. It’s been a nightmare, but I’m determined to get a house. I’m not letting this stop me, I just may have to wait a bit longer. Only now I know a lot more about the home buying process.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. These are such beautiful memories of your childhood:-) I’m a very vivid dreamer and a lot of the time, I dream about fascinating places that seem so real that I can remember them in a catalogue in my head going back for years. I’d love to have the kind of experience where I discovered that one of the places was real and I could actually go there!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Fascinating! My woo-woo mom would say you’re remembering a past life. I’m not sure reincarnation is a thing, but I’m open to the idea. Either way, it had to be kinda cool to find the old, dusty newspapers in that hidden panel—knowing it hasn’t been found or touched since then is interesting!

    Liked by 1 person

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