Soon after we settled into our rooms at the hotel, the “gang” wanted to go out to dinner. I was in no mood to eat a late dinner then wake up early to go to a training I knew was going to bore the hell out of me. Needless to say, it was mandatory, so off we went, like Lenard Nemoy in search of a sit down restaurant to eat at. We left our hotel around 8:45pm because Thing 1 was still being a pain in the ass and Thing 3 was talking on the phone to her ungrateful daughter who suggested that she should have left her debit card at home. Again I found myself sitting in the van waiting on other people to get moving. We drove around but every place seemed packed for a Monday and we wound up on 9th street at a Whataburger. Which was fine with me because I just wanted to eat and go back to the hotel to go to sleep.
We all ordered and sat in a booth and table next to each other and I ate as I listened to the rest of the Things talk about their lives, what they do on their off time, their spouses etc. I on the other hand ate my chicken strips with extra country gravy on the side and listened. Then Thing 4, who is a very nice girl who works with us and has a baby boy at home asked me how old my boys were. I answered as I took a sip from my Dr. Pepper and then Thing 1 said loudly (and I do mean LOUD) “Oh my gawd, you have three grown boys? I never knew that, I didn’t even know you had kids. Are you married, divorced or living in sin? Ha, ha, ha.” and she said. I could feel the fire of exhaustion burning inside me and as everyone else laughed I said “Oh I’m living in sin, yeah that’s how I prefer to live. That way it’s not a shock to anyone when you tell everybody you’re getting a divorce because you’re married to someone with no social skills, or when you superglue a coworkers desk drawers shut.” Suddenly the laughter stopped and I got a text from JP and said “I’m sorry you had to go through that, she’s not a bad person she’s just the nervous type” then I thought he’s the third person to tell me that, I mean what does that even mean, the nervous type? That would explain her uncontrollable blinking, ugh.
We all finished eating making small talk and finally left Whataburger to make our way back to our hotel. I was to say the least tired, as everyone exited the van I pushing past everyone to make it to the elevator and up to my room. I didn’t even turn around to look where the rest of the Thing Gang was, as the elevator doors opened I walked in and pushed the button and then hoped I wouldn’t get stuck in the elevator with Thing 1 & 2.
The next day I made our way onto campus to the class room where the software people were to meet us and the 61 other university employees. I was one of the first people there, imagine that and that was because I asked the hotel shuttle to drive me onto campus because we were supposed to in the classroom by 7:50am. As people started to file in, late as always the software people began to ask why everyone wasn’t on time. One of them looked at me and I said “I am not my brother’s keeper, or my coworkers either” and she, a sarcastic much older Gwen Stefani wannabe rolled her eyes at me just as the Thing gang walked in.
Tuesday was hard because I was tired, even though I had a room all to myself and slept like a baby, I felt as though I hadn’t slept enough. It must have been the long, tedious, mind-numbing, homicidal inducing drive to Lubbock that made me feel that tired. I needed time to rest and recoup…..
But finally at about 8:45am (yes 45 mins after we were should have started our training) we began, laptops out and poised for learning. But of course that’s when we heard that we’d be here through the weekend and leave the Following Monday, because of course no one planned this fucking trip out well. After the first day’s training we were told during a break that we would be having “team building” after work during dinner, I think I said out loud “you’ve got to fucking be kidding me?” I thought I said in my head but I suppose I didn’t because everyone just looked at me, angry and I said “That look right there, that’s how I’ve felt since we left El Paso.” All I wanted to do was go back to my room and have a bit of alcohol, watch t.v and fall asleep. I dread team building exercises especially when you have to pretend to be a caring coworker. Look, I love my job but having to spend an entire week with my coworkers could drive anyone to harbor murderous thoughts. I wasn’t happy about spending time with all of these people after work as well.
But no, someone’s big idea of team-building was to have dinner at a place called Pecan Grill and have a co-worker mixer because there were 61 of us attending this godforsaken training and we should “mix” with our counterparts from other campuses. This was already a nightmare and it was only the first day. I know I sound disgruntled and yes, yes I was but going to the coworker mixer was probably the best part of the trip.
There I met a woman named Carol, she was from another campus and we hit it off perfectly, we both sat at the table and laughed while we tried to forget what a nightmare this entire week was turning out to be. Her attitude about spending this much time with her coworkers was exactly how I felt.
We began to talk about how spending the weekend in Lubbock might not have been the best idea and soon the others at our table were talking about the same thing. That’s when I said we should just train through the weekend and leave Monday, everyone agreed. Our coworker revolution had begun.
Until next time remember, chin up, solider on and watch your back!
The Huntress 915