Veruca Salt Was Onto Something….

I have found that there are certain things that annoy or amuse me, sometimes I laugh and other times I wonder how long I’d last in prison…….

In any case I’m still trying to sort through my co-worker road trip blog posts, because right now it’s one giant post and I need to edit a bit more to make it at least four.  But I had started this post on the trip there.

I had intended to post it on the Tuesday after we arrived in Lubbock but to no avail.  The training and work was busy, and I was getting sick as y’all know.  So I will post this first until I can get my notes organized and well planned to let you guys know how my trip went.

Below are a few things that have either annoyed me or made me laugh or both.

Stating the obvious….Astrology

I don’t like getting Astrology crap in my email inbox, because even though I don’t believe in astrology or anything of the sort, I still get these daily readings.  I mean what is Mercury retrograde mean anyway? To me it just means Mercury is moving in the wrong direction!  Anyway I read them just for fun, and everything they’ve said thus far about my “astrological life” has been WRONG!  Totally, so I hate getting these things in my inbox, I don’t know what stupid link or website I inadvertently clicked on that now I have Adrian from Astrology Answers telling me what my life is going to be if I only “allow it to happen” and pay him $10 a pop for my free astrological reading.  So I’ve unsubscribed to a subscription I didn’t subscribe to in the first place.  Done, and thanks for nothing Adrian, nothing you’ve told me about my life has been true!

Yeah, exactly how I feel

I hate “traffic-assholes” and assholes using the passing lane to drive the speed limit, it’s annoying.  I’m like do you all NOT know that it’s called the “passing lane” for a reason?  Huh? Yeah I’m talking to you in your fucking 2014 red Toyota Corolla Sport driving 55 in the passing lane thinking you’re going below the speed limit and holding up all kinds of traffic behind you, you smug bitch.  Step on it and move over why don’t you?!?

Oh or people who drive sports cars and are stuck on the passing lane going below the speed limit.  If you’ve got a goddamned Camaro, Mustang or BMW, put the pedal to the metal and pass then move over assholes! Don’t hold up traffic because you think the motorcycle cop stopped and pointing his radar gun on the overpass of McRae and I-10 is going to stop you for going faster in the PASSING LANE!  It’s the PASSING LANE so pass and move over.  You have a fucking sports car, use it for something other than over compensating for whatever you’re lacking and move it the fuck over so the rest of us can get to work on time!

You tell them Jean Luc, tell them!

Oversized trucks, most of them are funny and sometimes they’re annoying because they make annoying noises.  Yep I said it even though I live in Texas and it’s a common sight.  I’m pretty sure that all the guys (because it’s mostly men, no I’m not man bashing here) that drive these trucks that are lifted, 4×4’d, chromed out, two gas tank hauling, noisy tire making, overhead night light carrying, mega-sized trailer hitch, truck bed covering, front winch displaying pricks are over compensating for “something.”

Because if you have to put chrome letters that spell out “Size Matters” on the tailgate of your truck, then I feel so bad for your wife or girlfriend.   Reminds me of my ex-hubs…..yeah I said it.

I took this picture myself, at the drive thru of a Whataburger near my house.  Apparently size matters, that explains his truck…..

I also don’t take too kindly of people with said “Truckzillas” that they think just because they have a huge truck *cough*overcompensating*cough* thinking they are entitled to many things.  Such as parking spots…….take a look at this super asshole below……

Truckzilla in the parking lot of where I work

Now this prick works where I do, and every morning that asshole thinks he’s parking in one parking space but he’s actually taking up two, one for his truck and almost half of the other for the goddamned hitch on the bumper of his stupid truck!  As you can see if he’d move forward a tad, he’d leave the parking space behind him with enough room for another car.  But nooooo he has to park Truckzilla this way to prove a point! The point being that he has to own a truck like this because looks alone won’t do it.  Okay I said I try not to judge and for the most part I don’t, but when your inconsiderate AND an asshole, my judgement wrath will not be quenched!  This truck belongs to a faculty member here and he’s an older tall, lanky, awkward nerdy guy with no manners or social skills who has to drive around an expensive truck to find a mate.  I say mate because the dude looks like Beaker from the Muppet’s

That was his reaction when “someone” left a post-it-note on the door of Truckzilla telling him to park his truck correctly…….I’m not saying who it was.  But he was not happy…..I watched from the 3rd floor stairwell, it was hilarious.

Another thing that annoys me are people who STOP on freeway on ramps, I mean really what the literal fuck are you doing stopping on a freeway on ramp!?!?!  You look to see if there is oncoming traffic and either slowly creep onto the freeway (which will annoy me too) or speed up and smoothly make your way onto the freeway with all the other traffic.  But for Christ’s sake and all that is good and holy DO NOT STOP ON THE GODDAMNED ON RAMP waiting for traffic to pass you by and holding up all the traffic behind you!! That’s a surefire way of getting rear-ended and not in a good way! If you stop on the on ramp your driver’s license should be taken away.  But I will add that here in El Paso, fuckers will see you driving onto the freeway from the on-ramp and they WILL SPEED UP to keep you from getting in front of them.  So I speed up too, I’ve exchanged the middle finger with several other motorist who do this……

Something else that’s more comedic than anything (this time it’s women) is wearing boots in the middle of summer.  What is wrong with you?  No it’s not a fashion statement if you go home and take of your boots off to stank up your entire house with the odor of sweaty feet thats fine.  But your not impressing anyone wearing any type or style of boots in the middle of an 103 El Paso summer.  Especially Ugs or cowboy boots with cutoff jean shorts.   I don’t care if your only 19 and think you can pull it off, you can’t.  The only one that could possibly pull it off is Daisy Duke, Catherine Bach not Jessica Simpson, just thought I’d clear that up.  But if your NOT 19 you have no business wearing cowboy boots with shorts or a dress in the middle of summer….

I took this picture too when I went to Walmart to pick up my Rx last week.  By the way it was 101 that day in El Paso

I kept trying to take a picture but she kept turning around and looking at me and the entire line waiting behind her.  I think she sensed she might be getting mocked….she was right.  The lady behind me was trying to laugh quietly but to no avail.

So I think maybe Veruca Salt was onto something being so bitchy.  Maybe her dad had a huge oversized truck, or she got tired of people driving in the passing lane at the speed limit or people stopping on the onramp to get onto the freeway!

Or watching people wear winter clothes in the middle of a hot, unbearable summer, it’s uncomfortable just to see them dressed that way.  But who am I to judge? I binge watched Billions (my new favorite series) this weekend and now I have the Wendy Rhodes attitude towards life which is “Get your head on straight, get your shit together and don’t piss me off.”

So I wonder what Vecuca Salt was thinking trying to get Willy Wonka to give her that Everlasting Gobstopper……I wish I had an Everlasting Gobstopper……for Truckzilla.

I’d Stop his Gob from parking the way he does that’s for damned sure.

Until next time remember, chin up, solider on and watch your back!

The Huntress 915