Today, I find myself on a trip to Lubbock Texas to the home Campus of our University. I won’t say which university, but if I said Lubbock y’all will figure it out, lol. I was told we’d be flying there because there are nine of us that have to go for an entire week and a half of training on a new cloud based proposal software system that our department spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to acquire. In any case back to the “I thought we were going to fly there” part of this story, well it turns out we were but, apparently there are no direct flights from El Paso to Lubbock, none, not one! So, in order to dispatch with the whole we have to fly around the entire state of Texas just to get to our destination, those wonderful people who are in charge with our travel decided to rent us an 18 passenger van so we could (hold onto your knickers kids) DRIVE to Lubbock!
Yes, you heard that right, I’m in a large white van in our parking lot right this minute on my department issued laptop, waiting for everyone else that was supposed to be here by 7:15 this morning (including our fearful leader) so we could hit the road no later than 8am. I am, at the moment the only one on board in this huge van, but I commandeered the last seat in this van because I do not feel like being all Chatty Kathy with the other eight coworkers that will arrive (eventually) while we’re on the road for five and a half hours to our destination. Oh dear lawd, why, why me? Why do I have to be punished in this cruel, cruel way?!? The ride alone will be torture, because someone at some point will suggest we play road games.
Not like the types of road games I’d be okay with like, let’s see how long you can stay silent, the first one to talk loses. Or, I’m going to fall asleep and see how long I can sleep without waking up by myself. My coworkers are a type of chipper that is okay for the office, but pure fucking hell when we’re not in a professional environment. We’ll stop for breakfast/coffee before we leave and that too is a nightmare, because no one will ever order their coffee without contemplating what type of coffee they will get or the pastry that they will choose to go with said coffee. The only positive thing about this coworker road trip is that Female Sheldon is long gone and I won’t ever have to deal with her invading my space in the van and listen to her “talk.” Because she never just talked, she had no volume or filter, and if she’d be going on this trip, my eardrums would have burst by the time we got to Lubbock. Or have to see her dead shark eyes just stare at me while I slept because she had the bad habit of just staring straight at you, no emotion, no facial expression no nothing. Oh I’m so glad she’s gone, really, y’all have no idea!
But I digress…….it’s 8:05am and I’m still the only one here (on time) and sitting in the van with my luggage and laptop waiting on all the other eight slackers to get their prissy asses here so we can get this coworker circus on the road. I surmise that when we leave, we won’t get past the city limits when someone is going to want us to stop so they can have a bathroom break, ugh kill me now! I feel about as frustrated as Brad Pitt did regarding Leo DeCaprio in Once Upon a Time In Hollywood (yes I saw it this weekend, so worth it) right now. I’m reading the email sent by our director on what time we “all” should be here, you know to make sure I wasn’t the one that misread the instructions about the time. Nope it says “No later than 7:15” and the bitch (our director) is not here yet!!
But another coworker just got here and she said as I sat in the van, “Oh you’re here early, ha, ha, ha, you’re working? Wow talk about dedication” as she stares at me on my laptop and trying to make her way to the back seat with me, lucky for me I have my huge work bag and purse next to me, not moving my stuff so she could sit. She just stared at me and I told her that it said 7:15 in our email and the bitch still argues with me. “No, it said 8am” and pull up the email and show her (kind of annoyed) because she’s one of those that doesn’t read emails or email strings from the bottom to the current information. That’s such a pet peeve of mine, but anyway she sees the email and says “Oh, I saw it said be here at 8……ha, ha, ha….”
I give her the stare from hell and go back to writing my post. She finally got the hint and sat in the first seat behind the driver’s side. She’s unbelievably cheerful, even more than most and it gets on my nerves. I’m waiting for one of my other coworkers to get here, see me in the back of the van and make the same stupid comment he always does…..”Oh so I see you’re isolating yourself from the rest of us (fake laughs wildly), you know being antisocial is bad for you.”
Well, all the other slackers have finally begun to arrive so I’m going to sign off now, and will probably post updates when I have a chance. But since I’m going to be gone for an entire week and a half………….I will probably not be in the greatest of moods. So keep the torch going blogger friends, hope and pray that I don’t get taken to jail for smothering my hotel roommate in the middle of the night…….
Until next time remember, chin up, solider on and watch your back!
The Huntress 915