Impersonating Law Enforcement, Gaslighting and Getting on the Huntress’ Bad Side

I have a very dear, dear friend by the name of Veronica, no she is not residing in my head as other friends have asked when I mention her.  She is a real flesh and blood friend I made when I worked at the other university, she’s a sweet, wonderful person and I love her to death.  But because of her sweet nature she tends to be a bit naïve regarding that personality gauge that we all have hidden deep within in us.  You know the one, this is what tells us when someone is bullshitting us, or that gut feeling that we get on first impressions on meeting someone you don’t like.  She seems to have that part of her internal mechanism broken, which let’s face it, some men and women do.  I’ve also tried to tell her that it’s okay to get angry if someone pisses you off, and of course if they do it over and over again.

She was working in a building downtown, in the exact same building where the State Department had their local office.  She told me one day that one of the “agents” was talking to her because it seemed that they’d get to work around the same time and take the elevator together.  After being bombarded by him asking her out day after day, finally three months after she said yes.  I told her that there’s nothing with taking a chance every now and then, but if you felt uneasy for any reason she should probably skip on the date (something I wouldn’t be able to gauge because I hadn’t met the guy yet).   She said that he seemed nice and the only problem she said, was that he was younger than her.  I told her she needed to give this guy a chance, that he might be a good guy.  She also said he wasn’t the most attractive guy she’d met, but I also told her that looks were only skin deep and what mattered was what was inside, and if he treated her good, that’s all that mattered.

I spoke too soon, after six months of dating she said her house and car were being vandalized, she assumed it was by an ex-almost boyfriend, someone she said she’s been asked out by, by told him they should only be friends.   Her car’s tires were being slashed at work, at home and when she was at the movies.  Then one night while her and her new boyfriend were at her house after a night out celebrating her birthday, her garage door was egged, and her bathroom widow broken.  She said her boyfriend, whom I’ll call Humpy Hump (because the motherfucker looks exactly like Humpty Hump from Digital Underground) ran out of the house in his underwear, barefoot after whomever it was that had just broken her bathroom window!

Humpy Hump gif
State Department Humpy Hump

From that night on, her stalker was getting to her, emotionally, mentally and even physically because she was getting sick from all of this.  She began to get notes in her mailbox from her new boyfriends ex, notes telling her that she was an old hag, how he went back to her after he spent the night with her.  How Humpty loved her and not my friend and that my friend should stick to men her own age.

My poor friend was now a fixture at the neighborhood police station, filing report after report on, whom she thought was her ex wanna be boyfriend.  They took copies of the notes and a detective went by her house to talk to her with her “supportive” boyfriend at her side.  Then at the end of December, she said her “State Department” boyfriend bought her a new iPhone.  She said he was happy, and that she was surprised at the way he supported her throughout her stalker incidents and such.  One night she asked me over for dinner, and as we talked about her ordeal she was showing me the notes that had been left in her mailbox.  Some were written in crayon, some in pen and all saying the same thing, that she was too old for Humpty, how she should find a man her age and all that shit.  As I looked at one of the notes, something popped into my head and I said to her if she’d ever considered that it might be Humpty.

She looked at me, eyes wide open, blinking in nervousness (she does that sometimes) and said “Why would you think it would be Humpty?”  I said to her, I just I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn’t explain, maybe you need to let the police department know.  She laughed and dismissed what I had said and we continued to have dinner and wine and have a great time.  A few weeks later she called me in an emotional state, she told me that Humpty had broken into her old iPhone and saw messages from male friends and accused her of being a whore, a slut and of her of cheating on him.  I asked her how he got ahold of her old phone.  She said that when he bought her the new one, she left her hold one in his car, and that’s when she suspected he did it.  I was intrigued, and asked her how the fuck he was able to break into her old phone?  Then it hit me, this motherfucking ugly ass bitch works for the State Department!  She said he was telling her she needed to go and tell the wives of these friends of hers that she was a whore, and having affairs with them. Practically bullying her into admitting she was cheating on him when she wasn’t.

Insecure Men meme

She told me that she sent texts to these friends of hers to please text her to say that they were only friends, that they had not been having an affair. She did this with four of them, all the while I’m thinking I would have told Humpty to go fuck himself, I didn’t need to prove a fucking thing to him, if he couldn’t tell by the texts that they were only friends he had serious trust issues!  Of course that’s how I think, remember my friend’s bullshit meter is broken so she was unable to try and see Humpty for who he really was.  She said he made her life after that for the past couple of week’s sheer hell.

Bullshit-detector
Yeah, her’s is broken….

I told her she didn’t have to take his shit that she just needed to ignore him, block is ass and let him drown in his own self-induced misery.  She told me she had to change the password to her alarm system, and the security cameras that she installed because of her after all of this going on with Humpty, he knew all of them. Which cost her a pretty penny, but she said she felt safer after they were installed.   I told her it was kind of suspicious that none of the security cameras at work caught this person slashing her tires, or her cameras didn’t catch all those notes being put into her mailbox.  She shrugged it off and we let go of the subject, even though it bothered the fuck out of me.

Weeks passed and the New Year came around and in February we got together again for dinner.  She began to tell me how she sent her brother, who is law enforcement in Florida the notes that were left in her mailbox along with cards that Humpty would give her.  She said her brother pointed out that several of the notes and Humpty’s cards had the same letters being drawn the same way, in particular the “i’s.”  She showed me the letters and cards and low and behold they were the fucking same!  She said she asked her brother to look at them after I had mentioned it to her first, he told her that she should press charges against him for vandalism.  I agreed, and she stayed quiet, and said to me she felt stupid because she trusted him.  All this time it was Humpty, slashing her tires, breaking her windows and egging her garage door.  He must have gotten a friend to break her window when he was there that night, the fucking bastard!

Just as we were eating dinner, she gets a call and it’s him!  I asked her for her phone, reluctantly she handed it over and I answered, he said hello and so did I and then heard him go into a tirade of accusations.  The outter me was furious at listening him call my dear friend all kinds of horrible names.  The inner, calm cool and calculating me decided to cut his balls off right then and there.

Kill Bill O Ren Ish I

I cleared my throat and this is what I said:

Me: Hey Humpty, you need to stay away from my friend, she’s going to change her number soon but until then, you need to keep your stupid needy dramatic ass away from her.  Also, you work for the State Department right?

Humpty: Uh, what’s that got to do with anything?

Me: It has everything to do with it!  You used government property, specifically the software they use to jailbreak cell phones to access my friends iPhone and her texts.  AND you did so without a warrant or asking her permission.  So, that means you could lose your job for misuse of position and government resources for personal gain you asshole dickwad!

Humpty: *cricket, cricket, cricket*

Me: I thought so, and where do you get off accusing her of all of this shit anyway you bastard?!

Humpty: Who the fuck are you? This isn’t any of your business!

Me: I’m your fucking worst nightmare dick, and I know where you work and who your supervisor is.  You think you’re the only one with resources? Fuck no! I have friends in law enforcement too you self-absorbed prick and guess what, they also told me you’re not even an agent of the State Department, YOU’RE A GODDAMNED FILE CLERK!!! So, let me repeat myself, you WILL leave my friend alone, and you’d better get ready because she just might press charges for vandalism and make you pay for the two sets of tires, her broken windows, the cleanup of her garage door AND reimburse her for her entire security system!

Humpty: *click*

Me: I fucking thought so asshole!

My friend was sitting in front of me in total silence, her eyes were welling up in tears as I yelled into her cell phone at this asshole prick who was gaslighting her! He was making her believe that she was being stalked by someone else and making her question her decisions, her self-worth and her fucking sanity.

Rampage gif

Veronica started laughing and said “Wow friend, I wish I was like you.  I wish I could have said all that to him, you’re my hero.  By the way, how do you know he’s not a State Department agent?”  I told her I had called the local office and asked for Special Agent Humpty Hump, and the receptionist told me that they only had a file clerk with that name, he wasn’t a special agent.  She laughed out loud and said she’s wished that she had thought of that.  But as she took this all in with a bit of humor, I thought to myself, why hadn’t she bothered to ask this prick to prove who he was, where he worked and what he did?  I reassured her and told her she wasn’t thinking straight because she still had feelings for this Humpy Hump looking asshole.  She asked me afterwards what I meant by gaslighting, and I explained to her that it’s a tactic used by narcissist to make you feel crazy about things your gut is warning you about.  They do it so they have complete control over you and use it to their advantage, make you second guess yourself and question your sanity when you damned well your fucking sane!

Don't mess with my BFF

She soon changed her number and is talking to an attorney about pressing charges against him although I’m not sure how far she’ll get since she waited so long.  As far as I know Humpty has never contact my friend again. I suppose to a certain extent, it bothers me that my friend isn’t as careful about who she decides to trust.  Or maybe it could be that it bothers me that she was so easily fooled by an asshole that wouldn’t have been able to pull that on me or a women who weren’t as insecure as my friend.  She felt that because this prick was a lot younger than her, she didn’t deserve to date him or whatever thoughts were going through her head to cloud her judgement or gut instincts to be able to see him for who he really was, an insecure, self-serving prick with severe trust issues.

And that he took them out on my very trusting and somewhat naive friend.  I found out much later how naive she really is, over dinner one night she told me that he has bought her a really expensive engagement ring (that she’d never seen) and she was actually thinking of paying him for it, because apparently he has posted on Facebook that he was out $4500 for an engagement ring he’d bought an unfaithful girlfriend.  I was drinking out of my glass of wine and nearly choked when I heard those words come out of her mouth!  Those stupid, trusting totally idiotic words!  I asked her if she’d seen the ring, if he’d showed it to her, if she’d actually tried it on?

She said no, and I yelled at her asking why in the fuck would she pay him $4500 for a goddamned ring she’s never seen?!  I said once again, that she’s allowing him to gaslight her through social media!  I could see the realization of the entire situation glaze over her eyes, her face went hard and she sat there across from me holding her wine glass and she said “You know what? Your right, what was I thinking?”  I told her that she’d better not ever communicate with Humpty again, but that she didn’t have to listen to me, but she did need to fix and refine her bullshit meter of hers to be able to sense these types of personalities.

Facepalm or Angry meme
Literally, or whether to choke the shit out of her….

I told Terri my therapist about this incident and asked her if she thought my personality was too strong for some of my friends.  Before she answered me she asked me if I had actually said and done everything I told Humpty on the phone.

This surprised me a bit and I asked her “Why would you think I’d make something like this up? Are you thinking I have psychological egoism?”  Terri looked at me and said “I’m somewhat impressed that you know what that means, your one of the most intelligent patients I’ve had.  And you don’t have any of those traits, I was only asking because it’s not everyone that will stalk a stalker, if you know what I mean?”  I told Terri I wasn’t stalking Humpty, I simply wanted to find out a little more about him that my friend may have ignored because of her emotional ties to him.

I mentioned that I can’t make shit like that up, those are the perils of being the Huntress, it falls into my lap like snow, situations, people, things like what my friend went through always make me question everyone and everything.  I told her that I think it’s the after effects of being with Lestat for twenty years of my life.  Terri smiled and began to write in her file and we went on with that week’s session.

Until next time remember, chin up, solider on and watch your back!

This is the Huntress915

 

Published by thehuntress915

My life has been a lot like the movie Bridget Jones Diary (the Hispanic version) constant comedic struggles and life lessons learned by way of personal experience. I've survived divorce and online dating debacles, so tag along for the ride and lets laugh together.

25 thoughts on “Impersonating Law Enforcement, Gaslighting and Getting on the Huntress’ Bad Side

  1. YOU, my friend, are BADASS! I wish I had the balls to lay into people over their bullshit. I just don’t have it in me. I always have to be nice and so people think they’ve pulled one over on me, when actually I know more than they think. Oh, how I wish I could just let them have it!!! But, on occasion I have been known to blow a gasket, it’s usually after I’ve had enough. Your friend is lucky to have you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol, I don’t think of myself as a badass, just a concerned friend. When I finally met this dude the first impression was not a good one. But my friend had to find out for herself what kind of asshole he is, I’m just glad I caught her before she paid this dickwad $4500 for an imaginary engagement ring! Ugh…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done! I also a a friend or two who area bit too trusting and a little naive. After a somewhat manipulative marriage of over 3 decades, I too have become potentially nasty. I am pretty calm and peaceful nearly all the time and I am not as verbally adept as you, but to make a point I will remind someone that once you get to a certain age a life sentence isn’t much of a deterrent anymore. Accompanied with the appropriate facial expression the point is often clearly understood.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Everyone should have a friend like you – that person who is always watching their back and will do WHATEVER it takes to make sure they always land on their feet! You’re fierce, loyal, and smarter than the average bear – a deadly combo…well done, you!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s always frustrating to see someone be taken advantage of, particularly when they are nice. I’m that loudmouthed stranger that will stand up for the quiet little guy when someone cuts them off in line. It irks me how people feel so entitled to everything nowadays.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You are a total badass. Any woman in the world would be lucky to have you in her corner! I wish I’d had you around when I was in my 20s with the parade of weirdos that I ended up dating and being stalked by!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, I wasn’t always like this. I too needed someone like me not too long ago, remember Lestat? I think we learn these hard lessons as we get older, but to be honest my friend is seven years older than I am and I’m shocked she hasn’t learned this yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Huntress,
    You have great intuition and your friend is lucky to have you as a friend! I hope some of what you have rubs off on her, she desperately needs it. There is such a thing as being pathologically naive, and as long as she stays that way, she will continue to be taken advantage of, I’m afraid. The good news? She can learn and grow if she chooses. I know we grow and mature at our own pace, but if she’s not growing, there’s a reason for that. Your therapist might be interested in taking on a new client, perhaps?
    Mona

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wholeheartedly agree Mona, she needs to grow and wise up some. But she doesn’t think therapy is something she “needs” as she’s mentioned to me before. Oh well, you can lead a horse to water as they say.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Well I wouldn’t have worked Humpy into a negative story because of my love for the Digital Underground. But, I’m not remotely joking when I say this mofo looked just like him, only the Hispanic version. Which is so much more disturbing than you can imagine.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Man, I could have used you a few years ago when I was being harassed by a male colleague at work! I’m surprised your therapist asked you that–after knowing you for a while, I have no doubt you said and did exactly what you described!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know why she asked me that, it caught me by surprise too. Maybe she was curious as to why I went out of my way to find out more about Humpty than my friend, who was dating him knew.

      Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: