Lets Talk About Weird Co-Workers…….Part II

In the office where I work we have a wide variety of personalities and that makes for interesting conversations, very interesting conversations.  For instance, we have “Jack the Knife” a woman who works in our compliance division who only shows up when there’s food, hence why we call her Jack the Knife (her name is Jackie).  She comes by knowing (miraculously) when food is around.  She then proceeds in piling her plate sky high with whatever freebies there are and then locks herself in her office never to be seen again until the next food-venture.  I walked by her office one day and saw piles of paper and ceramic plates with half eaten food all over her desk and credenza.  We, myself and the Lead Budget Analyst who works in our office get a kick out of the almost comical characters we deal with.  He’s probably the only normal person (aside from myself, I saw that stop it!) and we get along great.  He has a wicked sense of humor and always manages to make me laugh, so we kind of came up with different nicknames for some of the “colorful” people that work with us, Jack the Knife being one of many.

Other than Female Sheldon and Jack the Knife we have a director who is a nice lady, I should day girl because she’s younger than I am, but she has issues, and we’ve christened her “PigPen.”  She is a PhD and is a nice person to work with but there was something I couldn’t quite figure out about her and one day another coworker from another department gave me some insight about PigPen.  She said she use to work in this department but up on the third floor in the research lab.  She told me “whatever you do, do NOT stand close to PigPen” and of course being the person I am I asked her why?  She said PegPen adheres to the Halley Barry school of hair-care and doesn’t wash her hair but a couple of times a month.  My friend told me that PigPen has really curly hair and has to straighten it out, so another reason why she doesn’t wash her hair often.  Ewwww, just ewwww……

Which would explain why every time I was standing behind or even remotely close to her I could smell something close to wet dog or wet trash.  She’s part of the “No-Poo” movement not shampooing her hair on a regular basis because it stays healthier and is better for your scalp, it keeps the essential oils and all that bullshit.  This No-Poo movement is not something I would partake in because I wash my hair every day, and my hair doesn’t mess with me too much. I use what I have to, to keep it as clean and healthy as possible.  So now I steer clear of PigPen at every possible chance because I don’t think she realized that her habit of not washing her hair is causing a stink, literally and I’m not the only one who’s noticed.  The budget analyst (who I’m going to call JP) walked into the kitchen this morning and PigPen was in there heating up her breakfast and he walks up to me and says “Is the garbage disposal clogged up again, because it stinks” and I just shrugged my shoulders and left the kitchen.  That’s how bad is smells.  This woman is a director in our department, a PhD, she deals with people all day long smelling like wet dog.

I wonder how much she thinks everyone around her don’t notice how bad her hair really stinks?  I mean why would you put your coworkers through that?  It’s common sense that when you don’t wash something, that needs washing it’s going to stink eventually.

This is TheHunress915, over and out!

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18 thoughts on “Lets Talk About Weird Co-Workers…….Part II

  1. I would kill to have a cool nickname at work like Jack the Knife, even with the negative connotation. I’ve been trying to make “Dr. No” catch on as my nickname for years now, and it’s not working. It doesn’t help that I’m not a doctor. But still! My job is to say no to everything!

    Every woman I’ve ever known who has tried the “No-Poo” thing just looks like a drowned rat all the time. I’m of the super-oily scalp variety, so mine is greasy by the end of the work day, and I work in an air-conditioned office all day. I’ve been told by drowned rat “No-Pooers” that this because I wash my hair “too much”.

    “Your scalp will get used to not being stripped of its oils every day and stop producing so much oil! I mean, do I look like I haven’t washed my hair in a month?!”

    Yes. Yes, you do. You look like you work in an oil field. Go wash your damn hair.

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  2. Haha! Jack the Knife would probably be offended if she knew. Right now she’s in the kitchen area trying to hide like four donuts in her blouse (you think I’m kidding, but I’m not) without drawing attention to herself! I suffer from hair that’s on the drier side and is susceptible to split ends. I suppose we all have our crosses to bear, only Jack the Knife’s cross is made of donuts and rice crispies treats, lmao.
    We need to work on that Dr. No nickname of yours.

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  3. There’s a “No Poo” movement? Christ, I didn’t get the memo….
    Once in a rare while I’ll skip washing my hair for a day, but it has more to do with not having enough time than an intentional ‘condition with natural scalp oil’ scenario.
    I’m no expert, but if she consistently smells like wet dog and garbage disposal? I’d say it’s time for an Herbal Essence intervention.

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    1. Yes there’s a “no poo” movement, it’s disgusting! I’ve gone a day without washing my hair but I heard she’s gone a month and a half. Thank God I don’t wok in close proximity to her, I’d dry gag all day long 🤮

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      1. I’ve gone a week on a number of occasions… RV life for a loooooong time and too much of a hassle to shampoo in a tiny shower where you turned the water on, got wet, turned the water off, lathered up, turned the water on, rinsed off and get the hell out of there before your SIX GALLONS of hot water was completely gone. I was thoroughly grossed out by my hair. Even now, three days is my max (thank GOD the RV-living years are behind us – my husband would be furious to read that I said that but I’m claustrophobic and lived in an RV to almost 3 years!), and I used to be a shampoo every-other-day gal but it stripped the color too quickly. I will always be ever-so-thankful for dry poo (and normal-sized bathrooms) LOL.

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  4. I wash my hair 3-4 times a week but only because my hair gets really dried out, really fast if I wash it more than that. It never looks dirty, nor does it stink. When I was pre-menopausal, I washed it every day because it would get oily as hell by day’s end. Everything seems to change after “the change” and I hate it. PigPen must seriously let it go a very long time for her hair to stink that bad. I had a great visual of Jack the Knife shoving food in her face in private after her pillaging. 😀 You work with some colorful folks! Lol.

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    1. That I do my friend, that I do. Jack the Knife is infamous for her food lifting, she took home four bottles of wine that were left over from our Christmas part, I was furious! I wanted at least two! Lol

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  5. Ugh–I can’t stand it when people neglect their personal hygiene to the point where I can smell it! I’ve been trying very hard to somehow get people at work to call me Player One, but it’s not happening. I think I need to start dressing like a race car driver or something:-)

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  6. Huntress Darling, do you know that black women do not wash their hair every day?

    The texture of our hair and the hours it takes to dry does not allow us the convenience of washing our hair every day. Personally, I wash my hair once a week, my friend washes her once every other week, and neither one of us has hair that stinks between washes. We are always well groomed and smell great despite not washing our hair every day. 💕

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    1. Yes, I have a friend Sylvia is a very strong black woman and she doesn’t wash her hair but once a week too. Actually I talked to her about my co-worker and she asked me if the smell was that bad, and I told her yes it is. That’s when Sylvia said that it has to be her body chemistry or something like that. It’s just bad, like really bad.

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